Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

[Water-Smurf]

Hello to Coffee's friends. :)

Oh, and a friend of mine may join us at some point. She's read OotS and has been reading some of the crack we have, but knowing her, she may or may not actually make an account.

I'd recommend taking any sequence that would end with someone sad and assuming the pair already worked it out.

I think that I'll do that. I mean, they do strike me as a couple that can be cutesy together. (As long as they're in private... )

Hey everyone, I'm still alive (Though the amount I drank on new year's eve ALMOST did me in). I recall saying that I was going to start a fic where a kiss from V changed the recipient's gender. The idea is way too funny for me NOT to try. So, hold on to your hats and get ready, cause this is:

It All Started With A Kiss Title needs work...

Excuse me while I go giggle like a schizo in the corner...

And the doctor will slit the member open and pour out the blood inside, and rinse it with isotonic solution. If you are nice, he will apply local anaesthetic first.

Doesn't chugging an entire bottle of Viagra seem like something Belkar would do if he had trouble with... that?

You know, despite the monthly bleeding and the disadvantage of having to push out little people after carrying them around for nine months, this makes me glad I'm a girl.

And yes, Belkar would totally do that.

Breaking naturally set laws like Goblins/Elves=ERROR into Goblins/Elves=Love allows a creature from a place with NO laws to escape into the real world.

I'm not sure if there are natural laws in regard to interspecies children in the nD universe. If they are capable of reproducing viable offspring together without technological interference, then it's technically natural. (It also means that they're the same species. That's probably how it actually works--all the sapient species are actually just vastly different races of the same species.)

Remember this is a joke, but it would be fun to introduce the Devil trio later.
"All your daughter are now belong to us"

...Stop making my bunnies multiply. This thing has snowballed enough already.

Practice, practice. But don't beat yourself over the head if you discover you can't - there's a reason most authors stay within a single genre.

The thing is that romance is way out of my usual genre. I usually just write darkfic. :< I want flexibility in my work, damn it!

Anyway If your asking if there is a face beneath the mask there is. I am just experimenting whith the Elf/Goblin/Orc Fang problem

Why does she have a scar?

I can totally see her becoming a rogue, though she's probably going to stick with sorcery. Maybe she'll be an Arcane Trickster or something...

Er, assuming she gets out of her current situation alive.

Nothing is guarenteed. (Oops, might have slipped a spoiler. Or maybe I didn't. Who knows? )

[insert Inky answer here]

Thanks so much!

But now I'm trying to figure out the intricacies. I mean, Reddy's already got a chip on his shoulder about the racial thing, but I figure that he's level-headed and feeling guilty enough to excuse Inky if s/he gets angry about that. But what about the whole 'V had little to no sex during the marriage' thing? With the way Inky's emotions are running, I doubt that s/he'll care about what anyone knows or doesn't know--that's going to get, at the very least, a mention. The doubts about V's feelings, the doubts about the nature of V's and Reddy's relationship (oh come on. You seriously think that anyone who found out about it wouldn't immediately consider rape?), and the worries over what will happen to the kids are going to make hir volatile.

As for confirming it, Reddy can always describe something on an intimate area of V's body. But Kyrie would probably have an even worse reaction if he can do that...

[insert highschool AU response from Zanaril here]

I was thinking of everyone keeping their species and such, but my idea goes further than that. It was something I was entertaining in my head a while back, and I probably wouldn't be able to finish it, but maybe...

OH DEAR LORD! I just rearead Watermurfs Taisal story and I wish I NEVER DID! DID THAT CLERIC DO THAT I THINK HE DID!? I meen how is this PG 13! I I I...... I think i took 10D10 Int damage when I realized that! JUST WHAT WAS THAT! I understood what the cleric was but......THIS IS JUST SICK! What Diety would allow this! I understand EVIL and CHAOTIC EVIL but even the sickest of dieties would Fall this ....MONSTER in a milisecond!

If you think that he

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used Tiasal to masturbate, then you're right.

I have a very... loose definition of what counts as PG-13. I have little to no concept of 'adult' stuff. I figure that, if there is a teenager out there that has had this happen to them/did this, then it's something another teenager can read.

And I would be surprised if a lot of the dieties really had a big issue with pedophilia. That stuff popped up in the myths all the time, and it's a relatively recent idea that it's a bad thing. (It's not even a universal concept--there are places where forty-year-old men marry eight-year-old kids. Some of them within the UK, Canada, and the US.) It'd probably earn more of an 'Ick, that's nasty' from an evil god if it got anything at all.

In other news, I'm back at school and working on the stories. Since I forgot my charger and my computer can't hold charge past fifteen minutes, I'm working on an old computer in my dorm, which is probably why my message is littered with grammatical and spelling errors. I'm just not used to the keyboard, the image resolution, the screen, the browser... But enough whining. I'm in a creative writing elective course, I get to take Latin, and I know what my password is after an entire semester of trying to do without. :) Things are going pretty well.

[Oooohaloophole]

Hello to Coffee's friends. :)

Oh, and a friend of mine may join us at some point. She's read OotS and has been reading some of the crack we have, but knowing her, she may or may not actually make an account.



I think that I'll do that. I mean, they do strike me as a couple that can be cutesy together. (As long as they're in private... )



Excuse me while I go giggle like a schizo in the corner...



You know, despite the monthly bleeding and the disadvantage of having to push out little people after carrying them around for nine months, this makes me glad I'm a girl.

And yes, Belkar would totally do that.



I'm not sure if there are natural laws in regard to interspecies children in the nD universe. If they are capable of reproducing viable offspring together without technological interference, then it's technically natural. (It also means that they're the same species. That's probably how it actually works--all the sapient species are actually just vastly different races of the same species.)



...Stop making my bunnies multiply. This thing has snowballed enough already.



The thing is that romance is way out of my usual genre. I usually just write darkfic. :< I want flexibility in my work, damn it!



Why does she have a scar?

I can totally see her becoming a rogue, though she's probably going to stick with sorcery. Maybe she'll be an Arcane Trickster or something...



Nothing is guarenteed. (Oops, might have slipped a spoiler. Or maybe I didn't. Who knows? )



Thanks so much!

But now I'm trying to figure out the intricacies. I mean, Reddy's already got a chip on his shoulder about the racial thing, but I figure that he's level-headed and feeling guilty enough to excuse Inky if s/he gets angry about that. But what about the whole 'V had little to no sex during the marriage' thing? With the way Inky's emotions are running, I doubt that s/he'll care about what anyone knows or doesn't know--that's going to get, at the very least, a mention. The doubts about V's feelings, the doubts about the nature of V's and Reddy's relationship (oh come on. You seriously think that anyone who found out about it wouldn't immediately consider rape?), and the worries over what will happen to the kids are going to make hir volatile.

As for confirming it, Reddy can always describe something on an intimate area of V's body. But Kyrie would probably have an even worse reaction if he can do that...



I was thinking of everyone keeping their species and such, but my idea goes further than that. It was something I was entertaining in my head a while back, and I probably wouldn't be able to finish it, but maybe...



If you think that he

Spoiler

Show

used Tiasal to masturbate, then you're right.

I have a very... loose definition of what counts as PG-13. I have little to no concept of 'adult' stuff. I figure that, if there is a teenager out there that has had this happen to them/did this, then it's something another teenager can read.

And I would be surprised if a lot of the dieties really had a big issue with pedophilia. That stuff popped up in the myths all the time, and it's a relatively recent idea that it's a bad thing. (It's not even a universal concept--there are places where forty-year-old men marry eight-year-old kids. Some of them within the UK, Canada, and the US.) It'd probably earn more of an 'Ick, that's nasty' from an evil god if it got anything at all.

In other news, I'm back at school and working on the stories. Since I forgot my charger and my computer can't hold charge past fifteen minutes, I'm working on an old computer in my dorm, which is probably why my message is littered with grammatical and spelling errors. I'm just not used to the keyboard, the image resolution, the screen, the browser... But enough whining. I'm in a creative writing elective course, I get to take Latin, and I know what my password is after an entire semester of trying to do without. :) Things are going pretty well.

Yeah I removed the stupid scar later. This stuff im writing arent arguments, cause this is ostly OUR interpretation of the Oots story. About the Devil 3, it wasnt multiplying bunnies, it was about literary sneak attack "WHERES MITD, WHERES THE LINEAR GUILD AHAHAHAHAHAHAH". In terms of dieties we are talking Oots dieties which although evil wear it like a badge (Like loki who feels disgust when durkon meets helga). Ive actauly seen more creepy things in my dreems and Nightmares than youve come up

Spoiler

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Ive seen a fat man raping women and eating thier children, I was 10 when I had this dream.

I was thinking about arcane Trikster but I thought "Well both the parents where week in mealy and the better hit dice would compensate if she where an arcane archer". And i thought that she would learn from the mistake of that both her parents wherent very vertisile, arcane archer played as a true nuetral is devastating cause you can use any type of arrow.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEE! YOU ACTUALY LIKED THE Idea? I WISH THERE WHERE A CRYING SMILING SMILEY ;D. Seriosly though Im placing this comment into my "NEVER FORGOTTON FIRST TIME HAPPENINGS" Book.
About the aberation thing it was a pretty lame jome from my campian "We must stop the Lizardfolks/Tieflings relationships or reality shatters" Speeking off aberations, listen to the vioces to the shroobs from mario luigi partners in time, ITS JUST PERFECT FOR ABERATIONS!

And dont be so harsh on yourself, Or do you want this shrine I built in dedication to your writing to go to waste?

[Asta Kask]

I'm not sure if there are natural laws in regard to interspecies children in the nD universe. If they are capable of reproducing viable offspring together without technological interference, then it's technically natural. (It also means that they're the same species. That's probably how it actually works--all the sapient species are actually just vastly different races of the same species.)

I worked for a while on the concept of ring species within a fantasy world. You'd have one race with the following subraces - Elf<->Human<->Orc<->Ogre. Neighboring subraces could produce fertile offspring. (Also, remember that we do not know whether Tiasal is fertile - she could be a 'mule'.)

The thing is that romance is way out of my usual genre. I usually just write darkfic. :< I want flexibility in my work, damn it!

I know how difficult it is, but why not present an attempt and let us judge it? You are one of the most respected authors on the thread, and I suspect that most of us would kill (or at least maim) for work you consider subpar.

It's good to hear that you are back in school, but how do you feel? You can always PM me if you think it's private.

[Yiuel]

Hhhm. Order of the stick Jr...Well sounds like fun. Yeah I think roy would encorage any class his...its son right? would pick. About the name thing with the monk be carefull cause this could either become a reacuring joke, or realy anoying. And what does Cloadamaclouda meen? So in your world V/I get back together? I doubt that bieng a sorcerer whould piss V off, If he continues to improve his attitude I think he would say "Well you got it easy but im still proud of you", in fact that could be a joke after the child that took the class realizes that he took 5 levels in a class and now hese stuck with it, when he wanted to be a wizard or somethin. But tell where MITD is in all of this, would he act more adult?

"Cloudcuckoolander" is a Troperese (tvtropes.org) term denoting someone ridiculously out of touch from reality having in their mind some sort of alternate reality from which they derive hilarious interpretations of what they live with. Elan is a very good example, of the idiot type. Luna Lovegood (of HP) is also one, but of the intelligent type. (The term derives from one of Aristophanes' work, the famous Ancient Greek writer.)

Otherwise, I'll try to write something again later.

[Zanaril]

But what about the whole 'V had little to no sex during the marriage' thing? With the way Inky's emotions are running, I doubt that s/he'll care about what anyone knows or doesn't know--that's going to get, at the very least, a mention.

Yeah, I see this as most likely to come up as his reason for thinking Reddy forced/coerced V into it.

From Inky's point of view; V hardly ever put out for him, why on earth would she willingly start sleeping with some evil goblin cleric?

I could also see Inky slipping up and saying something just a bit too derogatory about V, and sebsequently Reddy getting defensive, if not outright angry.

In other news, I'm back at school and working on the stories. Since I forgot my charger and my computer can't hold charge past fifteen minutes, I'm working on an old computer in my dorm, which is probably why my message is littered with grammatical and spelling errors. I'm just not used to the keyboard, the image resolution, the screen, the browser...

Other people's computers are always weird.

You know, despite the monthly bleeding and the disadvantage of having to push out little people after carrying them around for nine months, this makes me glad I'm a girl.

Except you forgot to mention the week or two of cramps, headaches, and everyone seeming more annoying than usual.

[Taekwondodo]

Welcome to Ribose and Mari! Freeeeessssshhh bloooooddd...
*coughs*

Sorry about posting and running last time, glad you all liked my pairing! I don't actually have a cat so the behaviour was guessed at.

Had a really horrifying thought (for this thread anyway). What if one of the other OoTSers ask V why her kids were adopted and she said that neither she or Kyrie could have kids? Would the walls of fanon just crumble or do you think we could weather that?

Speaking of weather I'm actually getting pretty close to being snowed in! Worst winter weather for 25 years...

EDIT: One last thing, I was wondering if Ooooohaloophole could try to spell properly in their posts. I don't mean to offend or anything, it just annoys me. Thanks!

[Zanaril]

Had a really horrifying thought (for this thread anyway). What if one of the other OoTSers ask V why her kids were adopted and she said that neither she or Kyrie could have kids? Would the walls of fanon just crumble or do you think we could weather that?

All that would do is make the V spawnfics AU.

Doesn't stop us shipping V and Inky. (Edit: with each other and with other characters. I just though I should specify that. )

[Oooohaloophole]

Welcome to Ribose and Mari! Freeeeessssshhh bloooooddd...
*coughs*

Sorry about posting and running last time, glad you all liked my pairing! I don't actually have a cat so the behaviour was guessed at.

Had a really horrifying thought (for this thread anyway). What if one of the other OoTSers ask V why her kids were adopted and she said that neither she or Kyrie could have kids? Would the walls of fanon just crumble or do you think we could weather that?

Speaking of weather I'm actually getting pretty close to being snowed in! Worst winter weather for 25 years...

EDIT: One last thing, I was wondering if Ooooohaloophole could try to spell properly in their posts. I don't mean to offend or anything, it just annoys me. Thanks!

Ah my spelling. Sometimes I feel like a PC with imbalanced talents, Very good acting, visual, long term memory, auditory. And as a result my spelling grammer, physical, and short term memory is in the complete gutter. It doesnt help our school never taught me to type.
Its no excuse its just VERY hard. Ill try harder.
Thanks for the "Dont want to offend you thing".

And one thing perplexes me. Why did V Fall in love with Reddy? Shure I get why reddy fell in love with V ,but the only answer I got for V was ....That he is green I guess.
It would also be fun too see other beloved characteers in thier child form, Child slumphs, Tiefling daughter (IT HAS TO BE OPPOSITE, says halfway insane in attempt to copy his brother Nale).

[Meg]

But now I'm trying to figure out the intricacies. I mean, Reddy's already got a chip on his shoulder about the racial thing, but I figure that he's level-headed and feeling guilty enough to excuse Inky if s/he gets angry about that. But what about the whole 'V had little to no sex during the marriage' thing? With the way Inky's emotions are running, I doubt that s/he'll care about what anyone knows or doesn't know--that's going to get, at the very least, a mention. The doubts about V's feelings, the doubts about the nature of V's and Reddy's relationship (oh come on. You seriously think that anyone who found out about it wouldn't immediately consider rape?), and the worries over what will happen to the kids are going to make hir volatile.

I may be a late, but I would say that Inky would probably not even want an explanation. If you walked in on anyone making out, chances are you'd just say, "I don't even want to know." and leave. Especially given the circumstances, s/he might want to know later, but at the moment of discovery, they'd just walk out. That may not be useful, but hey.

[BatRobin]

I saw something about OOTS Jr, and I must write down my idea of it. (I have a V fic coming, V and Oracle, just wait)



Roy/Celia's son (Leader, Fighter, half-human, half-whateverCeliais)
Elan/Haley's daughter (Bard/Rogue multi, human)
V/Kyrie's kid (elven)
V/Kyrie's kid (Ranger, elven)
Lien/Hinjo's daughter (Paladin, human)
Durkon/Hilgya's son (Cleric, dwarf)

NOO clue what V and Kyrie's first kid is, and Belkar's child isn't in there because he obviously isn't the type to be in a relationship long enough to see his kid.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Except you forgot to mention the week or two of cramps, headaches, and everyone seeming more annoying than usual.

I don't get any of that...Just how lucky am I?

And...Well, how emotionally stable would Kyrie be after all this?

[Zanaril]

Ooh! It's snowing here! *crosses fingers* snowdaysnowdaysnowdaysnowday

I don't get any of that...Just how lucky am I?

Luckier than me, obviously. But you're missing out on prescription painkillers. (Not.)

And...Well, how emotionally stable would Kyrie be after all this?

I wonder what Inky's been doing all this time? He's got the kids to look after, but has he just been trying to get on with his life? Trying to track down V? Crying himself to sleep? Joining Aandy's late night drinking sessions?

How did he track V down, anyway?

Or was V actually the one to contact him?

[CoffeeIncluded]

I wonder what Inky's been doing all this time? He's got the kids to look after, but has he just been trying to get on with his life? Trying to track down V? Crying himself to sleep? Joining Aandy's late night drinking sessions?

How did he track V down, anyway?

Or was V actually the one to contact him?

Therapy for the whole family. Lots of it too.

...And what did the drinking sessions lead to?

[Zanaril]

Therapy for the whole family. Lots of it too.

...And what did the drinking sessions lead to?

I don't know. I kind of lost inspiration before my fic got to that point.

But it probably involved ears.

[CoffeeIncluded]

I don't know. I kind of lost inspiration before my fic got to that point.

But it probably involved ears.

With elves? What doesn't?

[Oooohaloophole]

I don't know. I kind of lost inspiration before my fic got to that point.

But it probably involved ears.

Drinking? Im not surprised. But I think I is stronger than that. Falling into alchoholism when (Is it a she or a he?) needs it most.
Wait, im confused you or I?

[Zanaril]

Wait, im confused you or I?

Now you've confused me too.

With elves? What doesn't?

I'm trying to come up with a logical reply.

But I honestly can't think of one.

EDIT: Okay, how about 'eating breakfast'?

[Oooohaloophole]

Now you've confused me too.



I'm trying to come up with a logical reply.

But I honestly can't think of one.

You know, since I joined this thread the anger and rage I used to have disapeared. Yay for calm nerves! Now all it takes for it to come back is for some Ahole to join the class. THANK YOU I Can finaly feal joy without resorting to murder fantasies!

I or u or Mii or wii. Heh.

[CoffeeIncluded]

I'm trying to come up with a logical reply.

But I honestly can't think of one.

EDIT: Okay, how about 'eating breakfast'?

"Hey, look! I can balance the spoon on my ear!"

[Zanaril]

"Hey, look! I can balance the spoon on my ear!"

*headesk*

Besides, that's not acceptable behaviour in a family enviroment.

[CoffeeIncluded]

*headesk*

Besides, that's not acceptable behaviour in a family enviroment.

Hey, you didn't say that it had to be sexual. I'm sure there are other applications for pointy ears!

[Oooohaloophole]

Hey, you didn't say that it had to be sexual. I'm sure there are other applications for pointy ears!

Or horns, or spiky tails. Dahm How I wish i could finaly show my avatar.

[Closak]

*Nibbles on his own tail*

*Notices he's being watched*



No Sir/Madam, i'm not playing with myself, totally not... *Hides in a lake*




And in other news, Spike is freaking badass.


In other other news, my siblings are being a pain in the arse again (Good thing they are asleep now, yay for staying up late without the rest of the family knowing!)

[Oooohaloophole]

*Nibbles on his own tail*

*Notices he's being watched*



No Sir/Madam, i'm not playing with myself, totally not... *Hides in a lake*




And in other news, Spike is freaking badass.


In other other news, my siblings are being a pain in the arse again (Good thing they are asleep now, yay for staying up late without the rest of the family knowing!)

Dude your a Dragon why not eat the little bugger?

[Closak]

Because the last time a dragon tried to eat Spike it ended in that dragon being one head shorter (And quite dead, for obvious reasons)

Not going to take that risk thanks for asking.



And if you were referring to my brother...We don't do the sibling eating business here

[Oooohaloophole]

Because the last time a dragon tried to eat Spike it ended in that dragon being one head shorter (And quite dead, for obvious reasons)

Not going to take that risk thanks for asking.



And if you were referring to my brother...We don't do the sibling eating business here

Well there was this one time....Anyway its a long boring story with the destruction of a realm, lots of zombies, and a Demon King.

Speeking of tails, Whats you favourite application for them? I use mine as a cutting knife (Necromancers gotta eat ya know)

[Nathander]

Because the last time a dragon tried to eat Spike it ended in that dragon being one head shorter (And quite dead, for obvious reasons)

Who is this...Spike, you speak of?

Also, give me some of your dragon eggs.

Edit: Also, sorry for being a lazy jerk, but welcome to Coffee's friends.

[Closak]

Who is this...Spike, you speak of?

It's a long story involving a 'Biological Mash Up' (See TVtropes) and Murphy's Law deciding to specifically target a single individual with all it's might.
It also involves 'Be Careful What You Wish For' and a 'Literal Genie' (Tvtropes)

The result of the ensuing mess is a ass-kicking killing machine of the 'Fragile Speedster' variety (Again, see TVtropes)

Also, give me some of your dragon eggs

How about no? *Casts a fireball at*

[Oooohaloophole]

It's a long story involving a 'Biological Mash Up' (See TVtropes) and Murphy's Law deciding to specifically target a single individual with all it's might.
It also involves 'Be Careful What You Wish For' and a 'Literal Genie' (Tvtropes)

The result of the ensuing mess is a ass-kicking killing machine of the 'Fragile Speedster' variety (Again, see TVtropes)




How about no? *Casts a fireball at*

Whats TV Tropes? Also can I Zombify (Dont worry it will be a wriath) one of your siblings? Its not a question of yes or no, more like which one. Lv 20 Dread Necromancer and 5 Pale reaver.

[Closak]

Here is a link to TV-tropes Biological mash-up page

Just search for the other things i mentioned if you need to know what they mean.



And i REALLY wouldn't advise trying to zombify my siblings.
There's no way that can end well...
Trust me on this one