Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

[Zanaril]

Sigh. Cant you try to talk abou anything but sex intercoarses between Stick figures from a comic Spoofing Dungeons and Dragons.

*points to the title of the thread*

[CoffeeIncluded]

*points to the title of the thread*

So, what do you think of ShinyDelusion's fanwork?

...And Janine?

[Oooohaloophole]

So, what do you think of ShinyDelusion's fanwork?

...And Janine?

Thats no excuse. Just because sexual intercourse is part of a relationship doesnt meen its 100% of it. The thread is about making characters dance like marionets for our own sick and twisted amusement, mine happens to be about blood and gore and Sex is not part of blood and gore, You see sex in those Vital organs I tore out with my teath.....YES? Wow...AAAAH IVE BEEN OVER CREEPAFIED

Which fanwork.

[Closak]

I only see a nymphomaniac black dragon.

What are you guys seeing?



...Oh my...

[Water-Smurf]

However, I don't think he wants. I could see him maybe letting her hang off his arm or something as a way to hurt Redcloak, but actively trying to pleasure her would probably be seen as a waste of his time. He doesn't get anything out of it (as he lacks anything that could remotely be considered a sexual organ), and he already has (or thinks he has) her loyalty, and it would probably tick Tsukiko off. I suppose he could hold the threat of it over Redcloak's head, though.

Oh, believe me, he'd probably be fine with her just being an ornament on his arm that had the added advantage of being a sorcerer and being able to hurt and control his second-in-command, but I would like to respectfully disagree with the idea that sex would just be a waste of time.

If we put aside the idea of polymorph, someone like Xykon can get pleasure from sex, even if it's not necessarily physical pleasure. Why do you think he would rape someone? (Comment about kidnapping virgins in SoD. Don't ask.) Sex can be used to assert power, even if the whole thing is consensual. Animals do it, militaries do it (mostly old-fashioned ones), and people do it. Xykon likes hurting people, and he likes controlling them. It's like a game of cat and mouse. Tiasal isn't loyal to him--she only trusts him and, because of the fact that she has nowhere else to go, she is willing to stay with him. That's far from the amount of control he'd like to have over such a valuable resource.

A way he can express his power over her and discourage Tiasal from independence is through sexual domination. Controlling her to the smallest details, from what position she's in, what she feels, when she hits high point and how, et cetera. Like a controlling/abusive father or boyfriend. Once someone feels like another person owns their body, then their will to defy them decreases. If Xykon convinces Tiasal through manipulation that he owns her, then he can control her just as much as he controls Redcloak. Or at least that's how it usually works--Tiasal may or may not be so susceptible to psychological tactics. If she grows up with herself detached from the image of Xykon as a father-figure, then she can detach herself from the idea that just because he controls her in bed doesn't mean he controls her. If she grows up clinging to him because of the confusion she's going through over Right-Eye, she's much more vulnerable.

But, it's worth mentioning, the more she attaches Redcloak to the idea of a loving father, the less power Xykon has over her. Sexual tactics, while they can degrade her, won't have such an effect if that happens.

But beyond that, it also provides something to break Redcloak with. What can he do? Xykon killed his wife, tricked him into killing his brother, killed him, and then slept with his daughter. It's just one of those over-the-top cruelties that you'd laugh at if you didn't take it so dead seriously. Xykon wouldn't consider the possibility that Reddy could snap--he's gone through so much that I don't think Xykon thinks that he has a 'snap' point.

And I don't think that Xykon would really consider what Tsukiko would do anyway. She's useful, but she annoys him, especially with her creepy come-ons. Having a consort could possibly discourage her, but that's unlikely.

Epic. Level. They can write their own spells to do whatever they want. And if V and Redcloak are annoyed enough, they can ban V's parents from scrying on the entirety of the elven lands for the rest of eternity. Yes, it's difficult, but by level 21, magic can literally do anything. There's a reason the 3.5 section of the forums ignores Epic Spellcasting when considering anything, including Epic play. Killing Gods becomes easy by then. Banning 2 ghosts from ever watching a continent, ever, is more trouble to stat out than to cast.

V's parents will be so disappointed.

Also, there are magic items to allow undead to...experience the whole of the world. Xykon can get them fairly cheap, or simply cast Polymorph Any Object to make himself a human(or Elf or incubus or giant bear) for a time(several hours-several days, depending on what he turns into).

And he's epic. So it shouldn't be hard for him to do anything.

So that adds another reason--after so long, it'd probably be nice to sleep with someone again, especially since it's someone he moderately respects and finds interesting and who doesn't annoy him.

I bow down to both your reasoning logics, Basicaly if she understood that Xycon Cannot love (I know its your story but he CANT). He calls people "Chicks" but that more from memory. He lacks the organs and Gains Nothing from having a relationship with her. We know Redcloak Can Snap if he is pushed to far and this is pushing so far it comes around the world and pokes you in the back...Honestly Try to keep this out of the story because its just too rediculous, and yeah I like your story because it takes Storytelling first not because it has random love interests everwhere. Although I do think It would make a fine alternative timeline. I hope your next story will be either less mushy (Although mushy is fine for a while gets boring fast) or less sexual. And if its not....Ill just Tape My Mouth shut.

*points up* Most of this is answered in the top reply, but I'll address some more specific points.

I explicitly said that she doesn't expect him to love her. She'd never fall in love with him, either. People don't always have sex for love. And I'm not thinking about this just because I randomly figured, 'Hey, you know what would be really dramatic?!' one day. I don't just chuck romance in there like the story's a dartboard. That doesn't make for naturally flowing relationships. I'm thinking about this because, while I was talking about your comment about the silliness of Tiasal's behavior and her trust for Xykon, I realized that it would actually work out like this in enough time. If Tiasal leaves Xykon before she hits puberty, there's probably nothing to worry about. He's not attracted to kids, so he sends the resident pedophile in to do it for him.

My work here is done.
If you ever feel like taking a break from writing horror-ish romance, you could write something humourous and/or fluffy. Maybe the various ways V's parents unsubtly tried to get them together.

I don't know how to make funny things... :< My jokes fall flat even when I put them in my horror/romance stories...

Out of interest (assuming you're not going to write it) what was that original idea you had for a V/Aandy fic? The one you wouldn't want to post on here?

I had a couple. They all involved someone or everyone getting inebriated. And one involved some sick epic-level adventurers that thought it would be fun to torture Aarindarius and 'the pretty piece of candy.'

Yeah, I have a sick mind.

Should I be worried that I understand the potential sexual/romantic mechanics between a walking skeleton and a prepubescent half-goblin, half-elf girl?

[Oooohaloophole]

I only see a nymphomaniac black dragon.

What are you guys seeing?



...Oh my...

Sob Sob...Can I hide under your Wing? If you dare eat me You will join my Collection of Undead dragon....Wiatresses! AAHAHAHAHAH Yes Closak and you wonder what happened to your uncle!

And Watersmurf: I meant this is a 50 50 chance. You dont HAVE TO include it. Just honestly, this would be silly. Oh Crap....Now an image is burned into my mind FOREVER! I HOPE YOU HAPPY WATERMURF! You just killed all things my puberty was leading up to. I think im going to go cry in the corner now. I think Im over it....No wait another Image popped up. Seriosly Its just getting to huge with the relationships Will tiasals Great Grandaughter Be a Half vampire/Goblin/Elf/Dwarf/Infernal scion (I know its comin)? See what Im talking about?

[CoffeeIncluded]

Should I be worried that I understand the potential sexual/romantic mechanics between a walking skeleton and a prepubescent half-goblin, half-elf girl?

Yes. You should.
But no more than anybody else here.

[Zanaril]

V's parents will be so disappointed.

Especially if they were kept out of the whole of the Elven Homeland; they wouldn't be able to drop in on Aandy at inconveinient times any more. Such as every time he takes a bath.

I don't know how to make funny things... :< My jokes fall flat even when I put them in my horror/romance stories...

I don't mind. Horror is my favourite genre and you do it brilliantly.

I had a couple. They all involved someone or everyone getting inebriated.

Fun.

And one involved some sick epic-level adventurers that thought it would be fun to torture Aarindarius and 'the pretty piece of candy.'

Yeah, I have a sick mind.

Or not so fun. I'm not even sure how that would end up as a shipping fic.


Although I don't see how either of those depend on how Aandy views his relationship with V. Except in the first case if it was only V who was drunk...

Should I be worried that I understand the potential sexual/romantic mechanics between a walking skeleton and a prepubescent half-goblin, half-elf girl?

It just shows that you're good at analysing characters, no matter who or what they are.

The thread is about making characters dance like marionets for our own sick and twisted amusement, mine happens to be about blood and gore and Sex is not part of blood and gore.

I have to disagree. Have you taken a look at the House of Horror yet?

[Raging Gene Ray]

Discord posted an entry into the Alternative Timeline category for Iron Avatarist. I'm taking the liberty of cross-posting it here since he seems to have sworn off this thread.

Best OOTS Alternative Timeline
Best Rookie Entry
Happy family

I'm guessing in his reality, V and Inky traveled to Azure City and adopted Miko before the Sapphire Guard did.

[Closak]

And now for some non-OOTS related stuff.


Did you know that if you shorten "Spyro The Dragon" you get "STD"?


*Smiles evilly*

*Runs from angry mob*

I DID IT AGAIN!!!

[Oooohaloophole]

Discord posted an entry into the Alternative Timeline category for Iron Avatarist. I'm taking the liberty of cross-posting it here since he seems to have sworn off this thread.



I'm guessing in his reality, V and Inky traveled to Azure City and adopted Miko before the Sapphire Guard did.

Aaaaaw. Why do you have A humanized haley in a thong....Looks at threads name. Oh. Well at least im not Humanizing her.

[Oooohaloophole]

I have to disagree. Have you taken a look at the House of Horror yet?[/QUOTE]

Still, Sex isnt 100% everything.

[Raging Gene Ray]

Aaaaaw. Why do you have A humanized haley in a thong....Looks at threads name. Oh. Well at least im not Humanizing her.

She's not exactly humanized. More like Raymanized. It's Kurien's style to have his characters' hands floating away from their bodies. You can see it better in this banner of his:



By the way, you asked how to make a banner. First, download the template...(the blank banner in the first post that just has the slogan). Then, import it into Inkscape, draw your own pairing, and move it near the words. Finally, export it just like you do your other OotS-style art.

The code for the banner should be [img][url=urlofthisthread]http://locationofyourimage.yourfileformat[/url][/img]

I have to disagree. Have you taken a look at the House of Horror yet?

Still, Sex isnt 100% everything.

Uh...who or what are you disagreeing with?

[Zanaril]

Still, Sex isnt 100% everything.

Uh...who or what are you disagreeing with?

Me, I believe.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Me, I believe.

Possibly me as well, with Janine.

Thing is, the mark of a good writer/artist/whatever is to create characters, even good ones, who you may not agree with. You don't need all the heroes to have your exact viewpoint or morals.

[Water-Smurf]

And Watersmurf: I meant this is a 50 50 chance. You dont HAVE TO include it. Just honestly, this would be silly. Oh Crap....Now an image is burned into my mind FOREVER! I HOPE YOU HAPPY WATERMURF! You just killed all things my puberty was leading up to. I think im going to go cry in the corner now. I think Im over it....No wait another Image popped up. Seriosly Its just getting to huge with the relationships Will tiasals Great Grandaughter Be a Half vampire/Goblin/Elf/Dwarf/Infernal scion (I know its comin)? See what Im talking about?

I write what the characters ask me to write. :)

It just shows that you're good at analysing characters, no matter who or what they are.

Do you think that a Xykon/Tia relationship could work out the ways I've outlined? I could be completely wrong. It's a little hard to throw out unorganized ideas into the wide open blue without someone else around to critique it.

Thing is, the mark of a good writer/artist/whatever is to create characters, even good ones, who you may not agree with. You don't need all the heroes to have your exact viewpoint or morals.

Like how I don't feel that people telling me white lies is a sign that they're untrustworthy and asking them questions is useless. And I don't feel that parents should invite their kids in on sex.

I have an idea, but thinking about it too far makes me tear up a little. I'm wondering if I should write it out.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Do you think that a Xykon/Tia relationship could work out the ways I've outlined? I could be completely wrong. It's a little hard to throw out unorganized ideas into the wide open blue without someone else around to critique it.

Maybe. It would be a little EXTREMELY disturbing though.

Then again, this is the Crack Pairings thread...

Like how I don't feel that people telling me white lies is a sign that they're untrustworthy and asking them questions is useless. And I don't feel that parents should invite their kids in on sex.

I have an idea, but thinking about it too far makes me tear up a little. I'm wondering if I should write it out.

Of course you should!

One question: In that happy-ending oneshot, what happened to Xykon? Dead for real?

[The Dark Fiddler]

Maybe. It would be a little EXTREMELY disturbing though.

I don't see how it's any more disturbing that TsukikoxXykon, which is one-sided cannon even!

[Zanaril]

Do you think that a Xykon/Tia relationship could work out the ways I've outlined? I could be completely wrong. It's a little hard to throw out unorganized ideas into the wide open blue without someone else around to critique it.

It's certainly plausable, although I'm not sure how it would start. Somehow I don't see Tiasal actively pursuing a sexual relationship with Xykon even if she get a crush on him. With the circumstances she's in, I don't know if she'd even be able to work out what she was feeling for him, and she's hardly going to confide in him about it. Xykon might pick up on it, but I don't know at what point he'd decide to do something.

I have an idea, but thinking about it too far makes me tear up a little. I'm wondering if I should write it out.

If it gets you emotional before you've even written it, it's probably a good idea.

[CoffeeIncluded]

It's certainly plausable, although I'm not sure how it would start. Somehow I don't see Tiasal actively pursuing a sexual relationship with Xykon even if she get a crush on him. With the circumstances she's in, I don't know if she'd even be able to work out what she was feeling for him, and she's hardly going to confide in him about it. Xykon might pick up on it, but I don't know at what point he'd decide to do something.

Probably when he realizes that he's got something else to hang over Reddy's head.

And honestly, the sex drive is one of the most primitive instincts. She'd be able to figure it out on some level.

Or she'd ask someone. Like Xykon. Or worse...Tsukiko...That would not end well.

[Zanaril]

And honestly, the sex drive is one of the most primitive instincts. She'd be able to figure it out on some level.

Confusion at the fact she's attracted to a skeleton, then?

Or she'd ask someone. Like Xykon. Or worse...Tsukiko...That would not end well.

Don't forget the creepy cleric, either.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Don't forget the creepy cleric, either.

....

*Shudders*

Also, how far is too far with Janine's attempts to get Lloyd in the sack with her? Just want to know when to stop.

[Zanaril]

....

*Shudders*

Also, how far is too far with Janine's attempts to get Lloyd in the sack with her? Just want to know when to stop.

There's no such thing as too far while you're still Good aligned..

That what she thinks, anyway.

[CoffeeIncluded]

There's no such thing as too far while you're still Good aligned..

That what she thinks, anyway.

Because she's going to get more and more aggressive about getting him in bed with her.

At one point, she sneaks into his room at an inn, wearing a barely-legal outfit (Think Haley's seductress dress or Tsukiko's nightie), trying to invoke this trope.

[Meg]

Do you think that a Xykon/Tia relationship could work out the ways I've outlined? I could be completely wrong. It's a little hard to throw out unorganized ideas into the wide open blue without someone else around to critique it.

Yes, but it would be beyond creepy. I think you'd probably be able to write it well, though.

Don't forget the creepy cleric, either.

There's an easy solution here.

[Zanaril]

There's an easy solution here.

Wait... are you suggesting Creepy Cleric/Tsukiko?

...She's too old and he's too alive.

[Devixer]

To all who posted fics: Great job all around. I'd give more personalized comments, but, as it turns out, having a job does NOT result in more free time! Who knew?

I also give thanks to those who offered compliments toward my fic. I'll post more stuff, but not all that often.

[Water-Smurf]

One question: In that happy-ending oneshot, what happened to Xykon? Dead for real?

Not dead, but disappeared from their lives. For now, at least.

It's certainly plausable, although I'm not sure how it would start. Somehow I don't see Tiasal actively pursuing a sexual relationship with Xykon even if she get a crush on him. With the circumstances she's in, I don't know if she'd even be able to work out what she was feeling for him, and she's hardly going to confide in him about it. Xykon might pick up on it, but I don't know at what point he'd decide to do something.

I don't think that she'd gain sexual feelings until puberty or after it. When she gets a pair of hips that are hopefully more suited than her mother's and a chest that hopefully shows which sex she is, that is. (Actually, if that happened, I don't know what the cleric would do. As a pedophile, he'd no longer be interested, but as a sexual controller, he'd have more urges and would have a much harder time controlling them.)

I think that when Xykon figured it out, and he would, he'd just be mildly amused at first. Then maybe he'd flirt with her while around Redcloak and have her hang off his arm. If he decided she needed a reminder about who is the leader here, or if he just figured he'd use a polymorph spell to 'relive his life', he'd probably just take her. She would be willing to do it, if not completely understanding what it was.

[Yiuel]

I came up with names for my OotSJr. Can be checked in my siggy.

[ShinyDelusion]

D'aw! Discord's picture is really cute!

Also, how far is too far with Janine's attempts to get Lloyd in the sack with her? Just want to know when to stop.

Well, since Janine's female and Lloyd's male, you'll get away with a lot more than you would be able to were their roles reversed. With that in mind, if you're really worried about going too far, you can give yourself a lot of saftey room by deciding what would really squick you personally out if Janine were male and Lloyd were female and draw the line there.

Nice names, Yiuel.