Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

[Kaytara]

Holy jeebers this thread grows fast. :D So much to catch up on! O.O

Dragon Age swallowed me up. I just can't stop marveling at the insane amounts of effort that were put into it, especially dialogues, character development and intra-party relationships. Against all odds, Bioware finally decided to hire writers worth their salt! And the voice acting! And the multiple quest solutions! And the graphics! Sheer candy landscape goodness! And animated faces! I'm so happy to be living in this age.

Now that I'm done squeeing...

Belkar doesn't mind visiting prostitutes for both genders.

Belkar wants to "shtup" V.

Discuss.

Unless it's just me who keeps feeling like all the little threads are coming together.

[Asta Kask]

The two main ingredients are chlorine and sodium hydroxide.

Reaction of Chlorine with Sodium Hydroxide
Chlorine reacts with a cold solution of Sodium Hydroxide to give a mixture of Sodium Chloride, NaCl, and Sodium Hypochlorite, NaOCl.

Cl2 + 2 NaOH ==> NaCl + NaOCl + H2O

Chlorine reacts with a hot solution of Sodium Hydroxide to give a mixture of Sodium Chloride and Sodium Chlorate.

3 Cl2 + 6 NaOH ==> 5 NaCl + NaClO3 + 3 H2O

So, hot or cold sodium hydroxide?

Remember, I took three semesters of chemistry at the university...

No, this is the theme:

Spoiler

Show

I got it from Agnes, Tom Lehrer:
I love my friends and they love me
We're just as close as we can be
And just because we really care
Whatever we get, we share!

I got it from Agnes
She got it from Jim
We all agree it must have been
Louise who gave it to him

Now she got it from Harry
Who got it from Marie
And ev'rybody knows that Marie
Got it from me

Giles got it from Daphne
She got it from Joan
Who picked it up in county cork
A-kissin' the blarney stone

Pierre gave it to Sheila
Who must have brought it there
He got it from Francois and Jacques
Aha, lucky Pierre!

Max got it from Edith
Who gets it ev'ry spring
She got it from her daddy
Who just gives her ev'rything

She then gave it to Daniel
Whose spaniel has it now
Our dentist even got it
And we're still wondering how

But I got it from Agnes
Or maybe it was Sue
Or Millie or Billie or Gillie or Willie
It doesn't matter who

It might have been at the pub
Or at the club, or in the loo
And if you will be my friend, then I might ...
(mind you, I said "might" ...)
Give it to you!

How about "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with."?

[Aaron]

Holy jeebers this thread grows fast. :D So much to catch up on! O.O

Unless it's just me who keeps feeling like all the little threads are coming together.

You took the words right out off my mouth. Soooooo much to read.

I'm glad you like Dragon Age. I plan on getting it also, once the price goes down a bit. (or until I can't wait any longer, whichever comes first )

Because we still veer wildly off topic.

Could be worse. We could veer off topic so baddly that Roland has to step in here and fix it.

[Zanaril]

Now that I'm done squeeing...

Belkar doesn't mind visiting prostitutes for both genders.

Belkar wants to "shtup" V.

Discuss.

Unless it's just me who keeps feeling like all the little threads are coming together.

Good to see I'm not the only one who's clinging onto these small shreds of cracktastic anticipation.

Poor Discord.

So, hot or cold sodium hydroxide?

Remember, I took three semesters of chemistry at the university...

Look, I only have to know the basic reaction for thursday's chemistry test. AS level chemistry test.

If I try to learn anything new right now, I think I'll start pushing more important things out of the other ear.

Edit: Cold sodium hydroxide, since it's sodium hypochlorite that's commonly known as bleach.

[Asta Kask]

believe me. There are worse things the person could have done/ worse fetishes they could have. My own cousins probably scare me more than Necrophilia ever will just from their conversations.

You won't say that when she injects you with sleeping agent before having sex.

[Closak]

Regarding Dragon Age.

Fuggin Blood Mages...

And don't think i have forgotten about you Loghain!
When i get my magey hands on you i'm gonna turn you into dragon feed.


I just had a sick thought.
...Darkspawn Broodmother/Tsukiko



In other news, the ABD is acting all horny again. Hasn't she had enough yet? *Get's dragged away by the tail along with about a dozen other people*
What the?

[Asta Kask]

Good to see I'm not the only one who's clinging onto these small shreds of cracktastic anticipation.

Well, Belkar is clearly in love with V but, having given up any hope of ever scoring with 'her', he goes to hookers to work of his lust. It is a tragic situation, compounded only by V's growing love for Durkon. I think the end will come when B finds V and D making out. Maddened by jealousy, he attacks. D, taking B's clothes for clorophyll blasts away full power.

I should write for a soap opera.

Edit: Cold sodium hydroxide, since it's Sodium Hypochlorite that's commonly known as bleach.

Hmm... and the less said about sodium chlorate, the better. (Incidentally, sodium hypochlorite is used by the immune system to kill bacteria.)

[Oooohaloophole]

Um, No offence but....Can somebody review the Next chapter of my fic....Please?

Oh and if I where redcloak Id ALSO have one trick up my sleeve "Xycons Phylactery". I think you mentioned that Redcloak has it and if not well forget this. Its not a big advantage but its still one. For some reason I keep Imagining redcloak snapping and sorta doing a camicadze attack on Xycon while jumping off a cliff while using rebuke undead and smashing Xycons Phylactery.

Have you thought about Tiasal taking it the other way around and using her sexual looks (But with more Subtelty than ....darn, still cannot remember her name) as a tool for some sort? Like lets not forget that Tiasal is doubting everybody and I dont think Xycon deserves an exeption. Shure youv given a Big Profile on how she would trust him but still, he works on a Why shouldnt I kill you basis" and her excuse is that she is a tool for manipulating Her father, I probably wouldnt forgett that im living on the fact That im entertianing and a tool (Wether or not im willing to work for him is just a bonus).
And is it just me or does everybody NOT want the relationship between Tiasal and Xycon?

Oh and can you tell me her Future outfit? Id like to draw that.
Edit: and Xycon Lacks a pelvis!.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Having read SoD, I can confirm it (he said in a slightly smug manner). I think Tiasal needs to do what a normal teenager does in Sweden: go to a party, get drunk and get shagged on the veranda.

Are you speaking from experience?

Hmm... and the less said about sodium chlorate, the better.

Now I'm scared what Belkar would do if he ever learns about that trick with potassium chlorate and a gummi bear...

Belkar doesn't mind visiting prostitutes for both genders.

Belkar wants to "shtup" V.

Discuss.

Clearly Belkar wants experience on the off chance that V is male.

[The Dark Fiddler]

Could be worse. We could veer off topic so baddly that Roland has to step in here and fix it.

I'm honestly surprised he hasn't yet.

[CoffeeIncluded]

I'm honestly surprised he hasn't yet.

Ssh! Don't jinx it!

Elan/ShadowDancer.

[Asta Kask]

Are you speaking from experience?

Alas, no. At that age, my panic disorder made me suffer from Stan Marsh Syndrome. So I was never a normal teenager...

But I've learned some tricks to cope with it since then.

Now I'm scared what Belkar would do if he ever learns about that trick with potassium chlorate and a gummi bear...

My brothers used a chlorate-sugar bomb to blow up a wastebin. Or, not really blow up - the sides were elegantly folded. Afterwards, it was just plain round...

Clearly Belkar wants experience on the off chance that V is male.

Is he a Bi-Sexy Shoeless God of War?

How did your Latin test go?

[CoffeeIncluded]

Alas, no. At that age, my panic disorder made me suffer from Stan Marsh Syndrome. So I was never a normal teenager...

But I've learned some tricks to cope with it since then.

Like what?

And hey, you're implying that I'm not a normal teenager!

Then again...

My brothers used a chlorate-sugar bomb to blow up a wastebin. Or, not really blow up - the sides were elegantly folded. Afterwards, it was just plain round...

...Okay then...

Is he a Bi-Sexy Shoeless God of War?

How did your Latin test go?

Who knows? There's only one way to find out, though!

I think I did okay, though I'm not sure...

[Asta Kask]

Like what?

And hey, you're implying that I'm not a normal teenager! :smallannoyed

I certainly hope you're not. Who wants to be normal? Normal = average = mediocre = middle-of-the-road. I have you placed in the upper 10% when it comes to intelligence. At least.

And when I say 'allergic to love', I don't mean 'felt queasy'. I mean I ran to the bathroom and throw up. If there was no bathroom around - well, worse luck.

[Closak]

Heh, DC 80+ Escape Artist check to get inside people, even if those people are smaller than you.

And yet again D&D rules rapes logic and pisses on it.


...*Uses Escape Artist to squeeze inside a Halfling*

Look! A Huge sized black dragon somehow manages to fit inside a Halfling!

[CoffeeIncluded]

I certainly hope you're not. Who wants to be normal? Normal = average = mediocre = middle-of-the-road. I have you placed in the upper 10% when it comes to intelligence. At least.

Good point. Why do I keep forgetting that?

And thank you.

And when I say 'allergic to love', I don't mean 'felt queasy'. I mean I ran to the bathroom and throw up. If there was no bathroom around - well, worse luck.

...PPFFFFFFFFFFFFFffffffffffffffffff

I'm really sorry, but I can't help but laugh at that. You've got to admit that it's a fantastic mental image.

[Asta Kask]

Anyway, Kaytara said something vaguely related to the topic of the thread.

No, I don't think Belkar is bi-sexual. Or even bi-curious. He was somewhat reluctant to check on the male prostitutes (who probably mostly serve other men, if history be any guide.) And he has said that he is secure enough in his sexuality to make jokes at Roy's expense.

Not that this reasoning should be construed as an excuse not to make B/V homosexual pairings.

[CoffeeIncluded]

No, I don't think Belkar is bi-sexual. Or even bi-curious. He was somewhat reluctant to check on the male prostitutes (who probably mostly serve other men, if history be any guide.)

Pff, like that's going to stop us.

[Zanaril]

Or even bi-curious.

Being V-curious is close enough.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Know what? I've gone too long without doing a crack pairing. I'm going to type up a short Elan/Shadowdancer after I finish my Latin.

[The Odor]

Alot have happend.
Great stories.
New members. Since when do we have recruit value?
And I have writer's block again!!!!!!!!!!!

has anybody ever paired themselves with one of these characters? or a D&D character of theirs with them?

Is that a valid approach to this?

Huuh. Might be a good way to get rid of my writer's block. *Goes of to look at his MANY character sheets*


In my stargate atlantis cross over would you prefer:
Every stargate person remain Human.
Every stargate person becomes the race I think fit the best.

[Zanaril]

In my stargate atlantis cross over would you prefer:
Every stargate person remain Human.
Every stargate person becomes the race I think fit the best.

Human. Otherwise it's not so much of a surprise at seeing the OOTS-verse races, is it?

[Closak]

But feel free to hit them with Polymorph later on [Insert evil grin here]

[The Odor]

Human. Otherwise it's not so much of a surprise at seeing the OOTS-verse races, is it?

True. But I was planing to have Rodney haveing played DnD earlier.
does this alter your opinion.

[Zanaril]

True. But I was planing to have Rodney haveing played DnD earlier.
does this alter your opinion.

It would still be weird if they suddenly transformed into other races.

Unless you were doing one of those things where the players are transported into the game they're playing.

Maybe if they slowly transformed, over a period of a few days.

And it takes them that long to realise why they're growing point ears.

[Closak]

ABD: Get in my belly!

Rodney: SHEPARD!!! *Runs away in a panic*

Shepard: (Sigh) What now Rodney?

Rodney: D-d-d-d-dra-DRAGON!!!

Shepard: Oh for the love of *Spots the ABD* ...Sh*t!

[The Odor]

Maybe if they slowly transformed.

Zanaril your a genius. I gotta write!!!

[Closak]

ABD: Get in my belly!

Rodney: SHEPARD!!! *Runs away in a panic*

Shepard: (Sigh) What now Rodney?

Rodney: D-d-d-d-dra-DRAGON!!!

Shepard: Oh for the love of *Spots the ABD* ...Sh*t!

Think you can work in some variation of that scene?

[Oooohaloophole]

It wouls still be weird if they suddenly transformed into other races.

Unless you were doing one of those things where the players are transported into the game they're playing.

Maybe if they slowly transformed, over a period of a few days.

And it takes them that long to realise why they're growing point ears.

Huh, What ya talkin about. Honestly Tell me what sexual fetish is this?

[CoffeeIncluded]

Okay, so here's a short Elan/Shadowdancer. Short because I have history homework.

Spoiler

Show

The Shadowdancer--Alan--made a little noise of surprise. He wasn't expecting the King of Nowhere to show up so early! And with so many extra people as well! He silently counted the number of people to himself...Hotel staff, dwarf advisor, a redhead who was probably a prostitute, and...

Ugh. He could faintly make out a person with a green shirt and blond hair, but he couldn't see who it was in detail. And the blood was starting to rush to his head.

Alan swung back and forth, trying to get a better look at whoever it was, when he overshot, crashing through the window into an ignominious heap in front of the King of Nowhere.

He gulped and started to sweat as the king, the staff, and his advisers crowded around him.

"What the--Who are you?!" shouted one of the hotel staff.

"Isn't it obvious? Black suit, black mask, all-around sneaky appearance?" Alan started to sweat even more--How did the king's concubine reach the correct conclusion so quickly? He had to find a way out of this and fast. Alan opened his mouth, ready to say whatever came to mind first, when--

"No Haley, he's a jester!" It was the young man with blond hair and...Brilliant blue eyes...A shirt that advertised his lithe form...Lilting voice...

Alan found himself sweating for an entirely different reason.

"A what? Elan, has that concussion knocked the last bit of sense out of your head?"

Alan interrupted before the King's suspicion's could be rekindled. "N-No! The handsome young man is right; I am a jester! See? Give me some fruit or something."

"Okay..." Alan was handed three apples. He sighed and began juggling them, thanking the gods that he used to be a street performer.

"See? See! I told you, Roy!"

And there was that handsome young man again...And now he was joining in, standing next to him...Concentrate Alan, concentrate..."

"Juggle, juggle, juggle, juggle the apples for the king!"

Alan didn't know how, but he somehow managed to get through that without arousing any more suspicion. He smiled at the young man--Elan--Who smiled back innocently.

Alan sidled over and said, "Room 608, cutie," as he grabbed Elan's behind and walked out the door.

He didn't notice Elan's eyes, wide with shock. Nor the slight whimper that came from his mouth.

He also didn't notice Haley's expression of murderous rage.

And back to work!

God I hate homework.