Crack Pairings VI - We've Finally Stooped to Shipping Ourselves

[Taekwondodo]

No, the problem seems to be that for some reason I refuse to let them read over my shoulder while I'm online. It's not as though it's because I have severe problems with trusting people not to make fun of me. Noooo....

Hmmm... I think I have that same problem (and I have actually read those kind of books around my parents) I think it's the fact that I wrote it so it's personal, almost like a diary (although I wouldn't post my diary online ).

EDIT: have idea for crack-pairing, Hayley's dad x Snarl. Expect it sometime in the near future.

[Closak]

Some dude: "Liar liar pants on fire!"

Me: "I'm a dragon. Dragons don't wear pants"

Some dude: "Damn dragons and their nudity"



So Coffee, what happened?

[The Odor]

You know. I just Realized how incredibly Disturbing I used to act. I actualy recieved the same kind of pleasure one recieved from looking at a pretty painting from Fantacizing about killing people. And Not Just killing people, killing people in the most inhumane and pianfull ways.

THATS MICHEL MUYERS KINDA TALK! THATS JUST DISTURBING!
What I lost my temper and hurt somebody! What if I hurt somebody I liked! What if I actualy Killed Somebody!

Is this what emotional isolation does to a person? Can I prolong my insanity from bieng on this thread?

Wellcome to the club pal. Its called Chaotic Evil. Its okay. I have done that as far as I can remember and Iam normal. Its like some people have sexual fantasises about being raped. As long as you dont do anything wrong or stupid its okay. If you wanna talk about it pm me. Whats wrong Coffee?

[Zanaril]

Wellcome to the club pal. Its called Chaotic Evil. Its okay. I have done that as far as I can remember and Iam normal. Its like some people have sexual fantasises about being raped. As long as you dont do anything wrong or stupid its okay. If you wanna talk about it pm me. Whats wrong Coffee?

I have to protest that a sample taken from this thread is likely to be biased.

[Water-Smurf]

Not to mention, when you're typing rather than talking there's no other way to express the subtext of something. If you state somthing, it sounds defiant even if it wasn't meant that way. Adding a 'maybe' or a 'it seems' tones it down and reminds everyone that it's an opinion and is open to discussion.

That too. That too.

I wouldn't worry about it. Perceptions of characters are flexible, but they tend to change depending on the story, not the order the stories were written in. It's easy enough to accept a different interpretation of a character as AU, and therefore making that character interpretation no more relevent than any other (since some people already seem to think Tiasal is irrevocably evil, but I certainly don't).

I actually do find it funny that some people consider her Evil already. Why is that?

I think that I'll work on it then post it. This will require some good writing. *cracks knuckles* And a strong stomach...

Watersmurf: Il Clarify: I meant that try not to spoil the suprise each time you say Maybe, or It sounds like.

Oh! That's what you're worried about? Actually, most of the time, if I say 'maybe' then it probably won't happen, but at the same time, it may. When I use ambiguous language, I mean it to be ambiguous. I'm not above putting out red herrings or misleading my audience so I can really jump them. And besides, I only have the basic framework of the plot with a few specific scenes in mind, and I'm not above changing all that if a character develops a certain way.

I figured we probably wouldn't see much of Aandy until the giant confrontation at the gate (yes, my sense of drama tells me that the mega-illusion's sense of drama will ensure that everyone will conveniently arrive at the end of the maze (or what looks like the end of the maze) at the same time), since he strikes me as high-level enough to handle all this stuff on his own without too much trouble. [...]

Interesting, interesting...

Pretty much the same thing for my parents and I. They know full well that I'm not exactly innocent, but they don't seem to care as long as I'm not breaking the law.

My parents care even less than that. I have a very serious view of the right to freedom and privacy and get positively vicious at the mere idea of parents taking advantage of their power over their children by putting spyware on them or giving them blockers or something, so my parents know to leave well enough alone. I have a good record of always being honest when it mattered (I'm not above bending the truth so that it's technically not a lie but it's still misleading), and they trust me to not give my name/address/number out to anyone, so they don't care what I look at online. As for stuff like porn, they have a bit of a 'don't ask, don't tell' policy. My brother and I can do and look at whatever we want as long as we are careful about any creeps or viruses.

Can you tell my parents are liberal? (They actually have a pretty effective system going on. As long as we tell them and we're careful about it, we're allowed to try alcohol and the like. It takes that 'rule-breaker' feel out of it and it loses it's appeal, so while they allow it, we almost never take advantage of it unless we're at a party and they're serving champaign or something.)


Oh, and I've been spinning out this other story. I think I'll call it 'Dumped on the Rooster'. Bonus points to whoever gets the reference.

Spoiler

Show

“Welcome, students, to the start of a new year.”

Rows and rows of blue hoods sat in the chapel, staring up at the woman talking at the podium, pale hands with flawlessly manicured red nails tapping sharply against the hard wooden surface. It was like this every beginning of the school year. None of the students could pick out a difference in the woman or in her presentation, the same way none could see a difference in the building that sheltered them. These things were the same at the start and end of time.

“To those new students, welcome to the Lethe Academy community.”

A cloaked student with pale delicate hands shifted, crossing thin arms. The student sitting next to it leaned to the side a little, a couple locks of red hair falling from under the blue hood.

“Here we go again,” the student with red hair murmured very softly.

“Do not speak. You know how she hates it when we speak.”

“You are the chosen few allowed to attend our school. Many of you come from less well-off backgrounds, and we at Lethe Academy are happy to elevate your status if you will do your part.”

The stained glass windows stretching up the steeple glowed softly with the last rays of the twilight sun, letting the images of various gods fighting, tricking, and loving each other radiate light for a last few minutes. Signs almost as big as the windows were hung on the stone walls, looking out of place against the gray, medieval architecture. They were a list of rules. Every letter was bolded. Every other word underlined.

‘Infractions that Earn Swift and Immediate Punishment:

PDA
Cheating/Plagiarism
Swearing
Use or Possession of Drugs or Alcohol
Possession or Use of Weapons
Fighting
Sexually-Based Activity (THIS WILL ALSO EARN IMMEDIATE SOLITARY RESTRICTION FOR THE FEMALE INVOLVED) (What counts as sexually-based is interpreted by the administrators on a case-by-case basis)
Tampering or Destruction of School Property
Disrespect Towards Administrators
Cruising (Leaving Your Dorm Once You Have Signed in and it has Closed for the Night)
Illegal Activity
Walking in the Woods After Dorm Closing Hours’ and so on. More and more rules always added, to the point where most people simply assumed that everything but doing exactly what the teachers told you to do was against them.

“The Lethe Academy is one of the most renowned boarding schools in the world. The faculty is rigorously tested before they are allowed to work here. The facilities outside of the arts and science halls are all kept in their original state from over a hundred years ago.”

Two students were sitting nearly shoulder-to-shoulder next to the student with the red hair and the one with the delicate hands. The only sign that these students were different was that their hands were green and their nails were long and sharp.

Neither spoke. One only rested a green hand on the other’s shoulder, squeezing gently. The other student did nothing to respond, and that in and of itself signified the silent thankfulness.

“All that’s needed to complete the image is for your excellence, and I’m sure that we’ll receive it.”

The rows of hoods shifted and six students stood, walking to the podium in a swirl of blue, white hands like froth moving against the colors. They all stood in a line, facing the students, and pulled down their hoods.

“These are the school monitors. Recognize their faces. If they find out about rule-breaking, they will report you to me or your dean.”

Down the row, several teenagers, mostly boys, stood rigid. A clean-shaven boy with a full head of dark blue hair. A boy with a shaved head, a growing goatee, and scars crisscrossing every inch of his skin. A girl with short turquoise hair. A boy with thick hair the same color as the girl’s. A girl with long black hair and a serious face.

All had the school emblem on their breast, the three roads coming together at a black pool.

“I’m sure that I won’t need them to come to me.”

Quiet settled. The room dropped several degrees.

The students all tensed as one, anticipating what was coming next.

“And I’m sure that I do not need to remind you that anyone caught practicing witchcraft will be immediately thrown at the mercy of the courts and burned at the stake.”

There was a long silence.

The woman gave a fake smile. It made the tattoo of the skeleton dragon on her face look twisted. “Classes start at eight o’clock sharp tomorrow. Dismissed.”

---

“Lights-Out begins in a minute! If your lights are still on by then, you have an immediate restriction!”

A girl with red hair scowled at the frowning serious-faced monitor before scrambling from the bathroom, sliding into her own room with grace that could only come from muscle memory. “Elf, are you in bed?”

Elf, an elf with royal purple hair and violet eyes (and who the girl with red hair would have no idea which gender she was had she not been placed in the girls’ dorms), looked up from reading a simple leather-bound book on the bed, snapping it shut. “Miss Red, you should turn off the lights.”

Red rolled her eyes. “Call me ‘Miss’ again and this will be a very unpleasant roommate-ship.” She flicked the lights off, closed the door, and zipped under the covers, squirming out of her pants and bra under the sheets. They had only been given five minutes to get ready. How Elf had managed to wash her face, brush her teeth, and change into a nightgown and still had had time to read was a mystery for the ages.

Someone pushed the door open. “Sorry, guys—doors can’t be shut at any time.”

Red sat up, scowling and squinting at the light invading the room. “Turquoise, that’s ridiculous.”

The short-haired girl monitor shook her head, smiling ruefully. “Sorry, Red. The school doesn’t want anything funny going on.”

“And they believe that all the roommates will be copulating with one another the night they meet like wild rabbits if the doors are shut?” Elf asked irritably, glaring at the light coming in their room from the hallway, too dim to read anything by but too bright to comfortably sleep with.

“Hey, I don’t make up the rules. I just make sure no one does something that can get them in trouble.” Turquoise leaned against the doorway. “Look at it this way—we’re enforcing your oath of chastity.”

“Chastity can kiss my ass. I like sleeping without light and people pacing outside my door,” Red said sourly. “I can already tell that I’ll be loving this year.”

Elf paused for a moment, then sighed resignedly. “It is just as arbitrary as the rest of the rules here, but we lack the power to do something about it.” She rolled on her side with her back to the door. “Good night, I suppose.”

“Sorry, Elf. I’ll make it up to you and Red tomorrow.” Turquoise smiled fondly. “Pretend you’re sleeping. Sirius is going through the rooms to check if anyone’s talking. Did you finish up your water?”

Red shrugged, fluffing her pillow with unnecessary violence. “Of course. Both of us did. Why?”

“I don’t know. They just want you all to stay hydrated and not get up in the middle of the night to get a drink, so they tell the monitors to ask. Good luck with classes tomorrow.”

“You too.”

Turquoise disappeared from the door. By the time Sirius, the black-haired girl monitor, came at their doorway to check on them, they were pretending to be thoroughly asleep.

---

“Big brother, I don’t like this place already,” the goblin missing his left eye grumbled, pulling his uniform blue cloak off and putting on a pair of pants to sleep in. “I mean, they’re way too uptight about this ‘no sex’ thing. What does solitary confinement mean? Why is it that the girls are the only ones who get it if they get caught having sex?”

“Are you complaining about not being thrown there yourself?”

“No, but how can a school get away with something like that?”

The goblin missing his right eye turned away from his little brother, pulling on his own sleepwear. “This is a very prestigious school. It reforms a lot of troublesome kids and sends them off to good colleges. They insist that strictness is key to that, and the rest of the world is willing to overlook some moralistic and sexist policies.” He looked back, smiling fondly. “So if you plan on sleeping with the girls, make sure they don’t get caught or you’ll find yourself running out of them quick.”

“You know me. A real Casanova.” The younger brother smiled and sat on his bed. “What about you? You seriously need a girlfriend.”

“I like to focus on schoolwork, thanks.” The older brother shrugged and smiled. “Besides, with all the rules they have surrounding stuff like that, it’s more trouble than it’s worth.”

“Nice to see that you have some sense, but let’s see if you keep thinking that way once you see all the girls.”

The scarred school monitor hung by the doorway politely, glancing in and doing a visual sweep of the room. “Especially Demon. She has any boy she meets on strings.”

“I doubt she’ll get Big Brother.” The youngest brother looked back at the older amusedly. “I swear, it’s like he’s a eunuch.”

“And it’s like you want to be thrown out of school,” the older brother countered, a smile playing across his face. “Besides, not everyone wants to sleep with whatever girl throws herself at him.”

“Eunuch.”

“I bet you don’t even know what a eunuch is.”

The scarred monitor chuckled softly. “This argument will have to wait for the morning, Patch, Crim.”

Crim, the older brother, nodded, settling under his blankets. “I don’t know about you, Brother, but I want to be awake for the first day.”

“Classes are painless when you sleep through them.”

“Not when the teachers catch you and drag you off to be beaten. I’m only going to cover for you three times, then you’re on your own.”

The monitor chuckled softly again. “Maybe you shouldn’t be talking about this in front of me.”

Patch glanced over at him, giving a sly grin. “We know you won’t report us, Scar.”

“Just remember that I’m a monitor.” Scar yawned. “Now sleep. Whether or not you want to succeed, it’s always best to be well-rested.”

“Sure thing, Scar.”

He smiled ruefully, turning off the lights and leaving, keeping the door open in his wake.

Thoughts? (Don't worry, you should be confused. )

[The Odor]

I have to protest that a sample taken from this thread is likely to be biased.

Iam not talking from this thread knowing. My thearpist said something like that. Just more fancy dancy words to milk my bank for an extra hour.

[Zanaril]

Thoughts? (Don't worry, you should be confused. )

Confused, and yet intrigued.

And I already hate that school in a nails-across-chalkboard cringeworthy way.



...And why is Tsukiko in charge?!

My thearpist said something like that.

Well that's okay then.

Good to know our freaky fetishes are entirely normal.

Let's shout about it from the rooftops.

[The Odor]

Thoughts? (Don't worry, you should be confused. )

Verty confused thank you.

Well that's okay then.

Good to know our freaky fetishes are entirely normal.

Let's shout about it from the rooftops.

It feels good dont it.

[Dark_Stryke]

Thoughts? (Don't worry, you should be confused. )

What's to be confused about? It's AU, and I've already matched all the named characters to their OotS counterparts.

[Zanaril]

It feels good dont it.

It's true; sarcasm doesn't work on the Internet.

[Oooohaloophole]

Oh Crap. School Setting. I hate school settings.

[The Odor]

It's true; sarcasm doesn't work on the Internet.

I knew you were sarcastic but I wasnt.

[Mystic Muse]

Thoughts?

needs more imminent death.

kidding of course. I think it's the start of what will be a very interesting story. Only two I could match up though were Redcloak and Righteye

[gosh]

This seems like it could be a very interesting AU story, Water-Smurf (though you're right, it does confuse me a little.)

[Closak]

So regarding the club house.

Who will be getting rooms close to mine?

*Chomps down on a random pedestrian* Nomnom



I think that:

Demon: Sabine

Scar: O-Chul (Mr Stiffly)

The brothers: Redcloak and Right-Eye

Bitch at the beggining: Tsukiko

[The Odor]

So regarding the club house.

Who will be getting rooms close to mine?

*Chomps down on a random pedestrian* Nomnom

Iam the only one saying they want a rome next to any dragons. Dont try anything funny.

[Closak]

Like what? *Tries to look innocent*

*Stomach rumbles*

...Traitor

[Zanaril]

I'll room next to Closak.

Dragons are useful to have around; so many ingredients....

[The Dark Fiddler]

I think that I'll work on it then post it. This will require some good writing. *cracks knuckles* And a strong stomach...

Just romp around /b/ for a while, your stomach will be stronger than Adamantium.

It saves a lot on brain bleach, too.

...as long as you survive.

[Closak]

Dragon Mucus anyone? *Sneezes at Zanaril*

...*Sets an elf village on fire and eats the mayor*


Where's the ABD?

[The Odor]

Like what? *Tries to look innocent*

*Stomach rumbles*

...Traitor

I will personaly cast a ward (random one so you dont know whats comming) on all my belongings. But I will get you people to eat.

[Mystic Muse]

Since Closak is the most evil of us I am obligated to room near him.

any good characters get free dragon teeth for weapons! (my dragon teeth. Not Closak's. he'll be mad if I do that.)

[CoffeeIncluded]

Okay, I'm back! And here's the story:

Okay, so at the improv class, the one where I was getting sexually harassed, a few weeks ago, I got my revenge. CoffeeIncluded Style....

When I went up for a skit that day I was thinking of a way to get my revenge on the boys who wouldn't leave me alone (They kept making sexual comments that culminated in a several propositions for me to do...Things on them a few days before this) I remembered that I had a chocolate Tootsie pop in my bag...

I stood up, in front of the entire class, and unwrapped the lollipop, then began licking it in the most suggestive manner possible. There I was with that chocolate Tootsie roll lollipop. Licking it, sucking it, making little happy noises, the works.

So, every guy in the room was staring at me and the lollipop in shock and wishful thinking and the teacher was about to drag me to the dean's office...

When I chomped down. HARD. The lollipop cracked in half, and in full view of the class, I started biting and crunching the lollipop with my mouth wide open so everyone could see the lollipop get pulverized in my back molars as I scraped out the Tootsie roll center with my teeth. Then I gnawed on the stick.

Imagine the guys' expressions!

And nice work, Water-Smurf!

[ShinyDelusion]

Oh, and I've been spinning out this other story. I think I'll call it 'Dumped on the Rooster'. Bonus points to whoever gets the reference.

Spoiler

Show

.

Thoughts? (Don't worry, you should be confused. )

*raises eyebrow* Fascinating. The mysterious bits like the hooded cloak uniforms and the witchcraft warning have definitely piqued my curiosity. Not to mention the characters' "names" lend a sort of creepy feel to the whole thing (it feels like they're all using codenames/aliases (of course, for all I know, they are) which makes it feel like they're either in so much danger that they must protect their identities or they're up to something sinister). I'm pretty sure I know who most of the named characters so far are, but, just to check one, is Sirius Miko? I'm curious because I have the feeling that out of all the characters you have in this story, Miko would probably appreciate her punny name the least.

Coffee, that story made me literally lol.

[The Dark Fiddler]

Okay, I'm back! And here's the story:

Okay, so at the improv class, the one where I was getting sexually harassed, a few weeks ago, I got my revenge. CoffeeIncluded Style....

When I went up for a skit that day I was thinking of a way to get my revenge on the boys who wouldn't leave me alone (They kept making sexual comments that culminated in a several propositions for me to perform oral sex on them a few days before this) I remembered that I had a chocolate Tootsie pop in my bag...

I stood up, in front of the entire class, and unwrapped the pop. I made sure that all the guys were looking at me. There I was with that chocolate Tootsie roll lollipop. Licking it, sucking it, making little happy noises, the works.

So, every guy in the room was staring at me and the lollipop in shock and wishful thinking and the teacher was about to drag me to the dean's office...

When I chomped down. HARD. The lollipop cracked in half, and in full view of the class, I started biting and crunching the lollipop with my mouth wide open so everyone could see the lollipop get pulverized in my back molars as I scraped out the Tootsie roll center with my teeth. Then I gnawed on the stick.

Imagine the guys' expressions!

And nice work, Water-Smurf!

That's what they get for being perverts.

...well, actually, that's not fair. That's what they get for being jerks.

[CoffeeIncluded]

That's what they get for being perverts.

...well, actually, that's not fair. That's what they get for being jerks.

They completely deserved it.

CoffeeIncluded: Sure, I'll take you up on your proposition...If you don't mind having to sit down when you pee for the rest of your life.

[Dark_Stryke]

Coffee: Well played, I must say.


Trying out a third version of my avatar. I think it's better than the first two, but still not great. Made it too small. Ah well, maybe I'll be inspired to do a better one later.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Coffee: Well played, I must say.

It was so worth it.

And how's that story going, Shiny?

I am so putting a scene with bananas in Murphy's Law.

[Asta Kask]

When I chomped down. HARD. The lollipop cracked in half, and in full view of the class, I started biting and crunching the lollipop with my mouth wide open so everyone could see the lollipop get pulverized in my back molars as I scraped out the Tootsie roll center with my teeth. Then I gnawed on the stick.

Ah, yes. I've done this with bananas. Again, great fun with homophobes because their gazes are fixed on you out of horrid fascination.

And, yes, I'm straight. I still like to irritate homophobes.

[CoffeeIncluded]

{Scrubbed}