Jibar's Random Banter #137: Return of the Cat-Muffin

[Lioness]

So, Today BF got me to try to play Devil May Cry 4.

I failed the tutorial...the thing where you were meant to do the stupid 3 button combo and do a super power upward strike thing? Sent me into tears, mainly because I had to do it while pressing the analog stick backwards, which made me run away from the evil guy. It took me so long to get one that the window came up 4 times telling to how to do it. I gave up and gave the controls to BF for that one.
Then I sort of managed to do everything else, but I hate it I hate it I hate it. Hate action video games like that. Cannot do them. Final Fnatasy X is about the closest I get. I can't play 8 because it's timed, which stresses me out. I've tried 12, and it's ok, but not my thing.

There's a reason I emphatically refuse to try most video games. I ran into a wall while playing Halo and got lost...I couldn't find my out of being against a brick wall.

Anyways, I feel sick.

And congrats DeeRee. That sounds like an awesome job. Much better than mine:

Customer: Oh, I'd like some ham
Me: Which kind, and how much?
Customer: Oh, I don't know...you tell me
*while there are 4 other people waiting*
Me: Grumble. Well we have this sort, which is nice. How about some of that? About a handful?

Then they agree. Couldn't they just know that in the first place, before staring at me like I'm doing something wrong by not serving them when they don't know what they want.

[Boo]

At least you still have your thumbs.

[Lioness]

I suppose.

And now I hate online interactive character sheets. I put in my base save of 10. Great. No! My Int Modifier is not +10. I do not have a save DC of 20 for my 0 level spells. Go die in a hole.

[Trobby]

Time to share another post from college. This one is a bit longer, but I think we can all relate to it. (Particularly because it's about this forum.)

At the risk of exposing perhaps a little bit too much about myself to this class, I'm going to share with you something that I am doing online.

There is a forum that I frequent online. I have been posting on a near-daily basis in this forum for about 5 months now. I find the discussions intriguing and the posters to be witty and fascinating people. In this forum, we all have our own avatars that either represent ourselves or a character that we play as in the forum games.

And next month, we are going to be switching the gender on our avatars.

This is something that they do every single year, as a week-long event. Some users even join the forums during this time of year, and are rightly confused when the week ends and everyone switches back. Mostly it is for our own amusement. The idea of pretending to be someone or something that we are not is a way for us to experiment with different roles. Everybody does it in a different way, and this year, I'm participating. I am even helping people change their avatars so that they can participate too.

As you might expect, I think that experimenting with different roles is a perfectly acceptable thing to do. Children have been playing make-believe for years, and in a way acting is a sort of make-believe for adults. There is a key factor here though; everyone who is participating here knows that this is a game. They know the rules, and they are willing to play by them. They are also open about it being a game, and do not try to decieve those who are confused by the rules.

I think this is the essential part of role-playing that people need to consider in today's cybercultural world. Young people are especially interested in experimenting with their identity, and they are often free to do so online. What the parent needs to do in this situation is to help them assert a sense of self-awareness. To spend time with their growing children and encourage them to interact outside of these role-playing games, so that they do not lose sight of their full identity.

I often see my online self as being a part of who I am, completely unseperated from the rest of my personality. Yet it is still only a part of that personality. There is a deeper core personality within me, and I am well aware of that. Maybe even moreso because I am able to experiement with tertiary parts of my own personality. Sometimes I think of it as writing a book. It is true that the characters I write about are based on myself, and do things that I would never personally do, but I am still aware of who I am personally. Yes, it is true that it is more important to retain self-control while interacting with others in such a role-playing activity, but only to retain self-control - not to outlaw the activity entirely. I think there is often a concern with parents about whether they should or should not let their child go online, and I think the answer is that they should, but that they should teach their child about going online. In school, I actually learned how to navigate the web safely, and my parents taught me to use the internet responsibly when I was a child. (I think, in fact, that having a dial-up connection helped me to moderate my time back then...much better, perhaps, than I do now. But I digress)

The point I am trying to make is that internet identities are malleable, and are often based on part of who we are as a person. Children find the idea of role-playing very appealing, and the internet is an ideal place for them to experiment with different roles. It is up to their guardians to make sure that they do not act dishonestly on the internet, that they remain cautious of people on the web, and that they retain their personal identity offline.

[Quincunx]

Woot! Another person letting us audit their course, thank you! (I'm not sure why it's suddenly ethically OK to audit when "copying notes" with fellow students in the class is emphatically not. Maybe I'm just grateful to have information otherwise inaccessible to me. Call me out on it if I'm wrong.) (Also belated thanks to CurlyKitGirl for reciting the rota required for U.K. A-levels and showing some intellectual curiosity beyond that.)

Is your class going to distinguish between the picture-avatar, the online-self-avatar (persona), and the user? Some of us do, some of us don't, and a very few of us swapped the gender of our real-life-self during the first Gender-Bender Week. If it hadn't been for the softening of that shock, the acceptance, and the thought that maybe this role-playing had, in fact, proven itself exactly the sort of safe haven it was in an idealized form, I wouldn't have stepped in and made Gender-Bender Week II the next year (after the original host got banned not long before the second week was due). It's hard to quantify people feeling accepted and willing to be less hostile to strangers in a safe role-playing zone, it's harder yet to quantify someone who ceased to be catatonic with depression yet participated in the role-play, but Gender-Bender Week's results were unambiguous. Your essay can withstand the challenge that it's only an ivory tower without any proof, with this.

I would like a specific bit of input from the folks who still have parents around, though. Introbulus and I are, by the standards of this board, rather old and independent; what resonates with us ("I often see my online self as being a part of who I am, completely unseperated from the rest of my personality. Yet it is still only a part of that personality. . .") might not be true, and if that division of personae and user isn't true then we've got to recognize more than the loss of the assumption of privacy. Is it wrong to say that the Internet personae cannot encompass all of the self-contradictory, whimsical, physical self?

[Trobby]

Ah...#<.<# I'm actually a little flattered that you think this was supposed to be an essay. ^^; I'm not looking for editorial help. This is just something that I posted on a class forum. I thought it was an interesting post, and that the playground might find it more immediately interesting than the school forum.

I'm fairly certain that we are going to draw a distinction between simple pictorial representations and true online identity, though I think that to a certain degree, most any action taken online comes from another persona, or at least another type of thought process. Though the same could be said of all religions forms of communications.

I am aware that GB week is not the most sacred of sanctuaries, and that the relative security that I tout about in my post may be overstated considerably. Thankfully, I'm not trying to quantify the safety of such an event, so an exact measure of security isn't required.

And I guess you could say that an internet persona can represent your entire self, if you are referring to who you are when you talk to someone on the internet, and then if you are role-playing as yourself in such a way, you could easily say that the online self is as complex a creature as the original personality.

[cycoris]

I would like a specific bit of input from the folks who still have parents around, though. Introbulus and I are, by the standards of this board, rather old and independent; what resonates with us ("I often see my online self as being a part of who I am, completely unseperated from the rest of my personality. Yet it is still only a part of that personality. . .") might not be true, and if that division of personae and user isn't true then we've got to recognize more than the loss of the assumption of privacy. Is it wrong to say that the Internet personae cannot encompass all of the self-contradictory, whimsical, physical self?

I'm sixteen and still have guardians (DeeRee's parents) around, and the quoted statement is definitely not true in my case. I consciously try to behave/speak the same way online as I would in real life, barring some extra precautions I take to protect my privacy. Even in real life, I have a highly distinguished 'public me' and 'private persona', and I tend to transfer this to online as well.

On the forums, I tend to behave the way I would in a very friendly seminar. I primarily show the 'public me', with a focus on intellectual debate and the exchange of ideas, or as I would at perhaps a conference or convention of sorts.

When I speaking with playgrounders privately, they get to see an approximation of the amount of 'private me' that they would if they were my friend IRL, meaning that the closer I am to a person, the more of the 'private me' I show around them, regardless of how/where I met the person and whether we're speaking online or not.

Therefore, I believe that my internet persona does encompass all aspects of my personality, and that said aspects are manifested in approximately the same way they would IRL.

I consciously try to make my online persona as close to my personality as possible, because the idea of projecting myself differently seems pointless and tiring. If I'm talking to someone, or giving my opinion, I want it to be as 'me'. To do anything else would feel dishonest.

That said, there are some situations in which I inevitably do not react the same way when I am online as IRL. For instance, if someone makes a comment on the forums that really irritates me, I will usually ignore it. But if someone were to say the same thing while sitting next to me, I would ignore the comment, but chances are that my displeasure would still be evident through non-verbal cues. In this sense, the emotional reactions of my online persona are still mine, but they can be heavily dampened.

[Dragonrider]

@Cycoris: Um . . . I'd actually say that you're quite different online and IRL. I wouldn't be able to tell you exactly how, and it might be just because my real-life interactions with you are "private ones" while online they're "public", but that's just the feeling I get.


And for that reason, I'm not comfortable making statements about my personality on v. offline. Because I wouldn't be surprised if my self-perception and what others think are two very different birds.

I'd say that initially (at 15, so a little over three years ago) when I joined the Playground, I tried a little too hard to be funny, interesting, etc. I wasn't untruthful, but I attempted to make myself more who I wanted to be than who I was. That's partly because, at 15, I wasn't sure who I was and I did try on a lot of different things in an attempt to figure this out. Not sure when that straightened itself out. I probably speak more freely (read: say random stuff that comes into my head) here than in real life, but that might have to do with being more articulate on paper than in person.

[Mary Leathert]

Blaah, I'm bored. I've been playing Twilight Princess for most of the day. But I'm going to movies to see the Sherlock Holmes film (which premiered here yesterday), which begins at 22:15 (it's now 20:26 here). I just do not know what to do during this waiting period of about an hour. I don't want to start playing again, because I'm afraid I would forget about the time, and miss the movie, which would suck because I already bought the ticket. Also, my head is starting to hurt from staring at the TV for so many hours. And it's cold (-15 C at least) and dark outside, otherwise I might go for a walk or something. I could also go to the city center already, but I don't know what I would do after that, as practicly every store/cafe is closed and I don't feel like going to a bar, either.

So, just to waste my time, I will tell you about my Wii. And the problems getting it. I ordered it from an Internet store a little bit before Christmas. They promised that it would take 3-5 days for it to arrive to me. Did not happen, I finally got it almost a month later (this week). I had learned that the store does not have the best possible reputation about the mailing times and other things as well, like the condition of the goods, so I'm just happy that the thing actually arrived, with all necessary parts, and actually wasn't broken.
It's nicely black and shiny. I even named it, because it asked for a nickname when I turned it on for the first time. My Wii is now known as Crowley. Cookies for everyone who correctly guesses the source of the name.

[Kobold-Bard]

@Mary_Leathert: I love your avatar. It's like Thog if he had no bones

[Jibar]

When it comes to the 'real' me, the guys on Steam and my friends from home get the closest to what I would call my real personality, zany and bouncing with a naive curiosity mixed in with genius failures.
The Playground gets pretty close to this level, but because I have more time to decide on how I'll interact it's a lot more thought through than I really am. If it was really me then I'd post everything standing on one leg and I would never be able to focus on one topic because I'd be too wrapped up in how the laws of thermodynamics affect butterflies or something like that.

Of course, the real me has depression, more than a few mental problems and an incredibly unhealthy amount of paranoia which all gets together to make me a very secretive person and as such nobody meets the real me.

Also, a run down of my failure week.

Sunday: Spend 20 minutes trying to devise a way to take the bin out because I ripped the bag.
Monday: Do bad on assignment, no shops have the Lego I want.
Tuesday: Wait all day for delivery of Lego to arrive, it comes during the hour I'm out.
Wednesday: Go into city to buy ink but don't write down what kind of printer I have, then come home very ill.
Thursday: Do bad on another assignment and spend a long time in the library to finish my next assignment.
Friday: Spend 2 hours odd failing to print on campus only to find out it's incredibly easy. Then get incredibly wet coming home.
Saturday (today): Get locked out of game I bought because I don't remember any of my characters' names for stupid log in detail, and Support team doesn't answer.

Jibar am happy bunny.

[Trobby]

...Jibar, I want you to take a look down at the bottom of the post.

See that? Those are your fangirls. They love you.

Always remember that when you're feeling down. (Also, I hope that you have a little more luck with projects next week. Sounds like you ran into a bit of bad luck and timing this week)

[Mary Leathert]

@Kobold-Bard: Oo, I never noticed the similarity but now that you spell it, out, there it is. Beware of your ankles, though, he likes to bite.

Hmmm, I might start as well heading for the movie theater. Wish me luck on not freezing during the journey.

[Kobold-Bard]

@Kobold-Bard: Oo, I never noticed the similarity but now that you spell it, out, there it is. Beware of your ankles, though, he likes to bite.

Hmmm, I might start as well heading for the movie theater. Wish me luck on not freezing during the journey.

Don't worry, I keep my ankles well protected in slipper-socks with big sponge beer cans on them

And good luck on not turning into an ice lolly.

[Thufir]

My Wii is now known as Crowley. Cookies for everyone who correctly guesses the source of the name.

You offer cookies for something that obvious? Could be expensive.
Good Omens.

Edit: So, I'm rewatching Babylon 5, I'm up to season four. Would anyone care to guess what memorable line I just heard?

[CurlyKitGirl]

0.o
Dazed and surprisingly tired I am.
I caved and turned on the heater yesterday, but it was too hot for me to sleep properly. Thi ended up in me being woken by friends at half one.

So from half one to quarter of an hour ago I was with at least one friend chatting and things. Abfab.
We went to see Up in the Air - a supposed romcom. It is not. By Caxton it was depressing.
So we adjourned to my room (with munchies - I had a panini over seven hours after waking - and it's all I've eaten) and we watched A Knight's Tale.
Of the six of us there was a proper medieval historian, a person taking French and myself, the book expert.
The shout outs and things commented upon were numerous.

I am, however; dazed and exhausted. I shall retire for the night shortly.

[Perenelle]

My aunt got a golden retriever lab mix a few days ago.
We're dog-sitting him, he's still a puppy and has been running around my house while my aunt is away. We brought him back over to my aunts house today and now that he's gone all my kitties are still prowling around the house with their tails puffed. I dont think they liked him very much.

and I'm quite happy due to my grandma buying me Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.

[Eldpollard]

0.o
Dazed and surprisingly tired I am.
I caved and turned on the heater yesterday, but it was too hot for me to sleep properly. Thi ended up in me being woken by friends at half one.

So from half one to quarter of an hour ago I was with at least one friend chatting and things. Abfab.
We went to see Up in the Air - a supposed romcom. It is not. By Caxton it was depressing.
So we adjourned to my room (with munchies - I had a panini over seven hours after waking - and it's all I've eaten) and we watched A Knight's Tale.
Of the six of us there was a proper medieval historian, a person taking French and myself, the book expert.
The shout outs and things commented upon were numerous.

I am, however; dazed and exhausted. I shall retire for the night shortly.

Who on earth told you Up was a romcom? Depressing yet very pretty film I would agree with. The only romance was the build-up at the start and that... ended.

[Trobby]

Who on earth told you Up was a romcom? Depressing yet very pretty film I would agree with. The only romance was the build-up at the start and that... ended.

Wrong movie. She's talking about "Up in the Air", the film about a guy who's....in airplanes a lot, I guess. I don't know much about it, but it's completely different from Pixar's "Up".

[Dogmantra]

School has ruined my brilliant sleep pattern of 2 am 'til 2 pm. I am feeling tired and it's not even 1 in the morning yet.

What did getting up at 7.30 six days a week ever do for anyone?

[Rutskarn]

I feel alone. I've been in college for about 4 months now, and my sleep patterns haven't really changed much. I haven't pulled any psycho all-nighter stunts, and I've never not gotten at least 6 hours of sleep on a school night.

I'm as boring as a mothball casserole.

[Dogmantra]

Oh Michael Stipe, I'll stay awake for you and your bizarrely coloured eyeshadow any day.

BUT SLEEEP. I NEED IT.

[Dragonrider]

I feel alone. I've been in college for about 4 months now, and my sleep patterns haven't really changed much. I haven't pulled any psycho all-nighter stunts, and I've never not gotten at least 6 hours of sleep on a school night.

I'm as boring as a mothball casserole.

I'm the same. The latest I've stayed up is 12:30 and the latest I've gotten up is 8:30. Usually it's 10:15 and 7:15.

[Pyrian]

What did getting up at 7.30 six days a week ever do for anyone?

Besides making them healthy, wealthy, and wise? Oh, and socially dead.

[Totally Guy]

What did getting up at 7.30 six days a week ever do for anyone?

I could get up at 7:15. But 6:30 - 7:15 is my exercise time. The best part is that if I ever feel lazy I can sleep for 45 more minutes without impacting my morning routine!

Work starts at 8:00. And I'm one of the lucky ones.

Besides making them healthy, wealthy, and wise? Oh, and socially dead.

You sure know how to twist the knife my friend.


I was out in town today, alone, with a wallet full of money. Yet I cannot find a single item I want to own. Well actually I was going to get Lost series 5 but since there is now only one shop that sells DVDs in town since all the others went out of business (Borders, Virgin...) I couldn't find it.

It's very saddening when you cannot find things to want. The only things I want are those which money can't buy. Or at least not without turning you into the villain.

[DraPrime]

So today I almost got fired for making the mistake of thinking that bagels count as "bread."

I hate humans so much sometimes.

[Dogmantra]

An hour and a half ago...
Me: No Inkscape, I will not submit to your artistic charm and the promise of making me look like I'm any good at drawing
Inkscape: But Doggy, surely you would not pass up the opportunity to try the new style you've been experimenting with on your nerdy halforc?
Me: Inkscape, you sure know how to woo a man. I shall forgo sleep in favour of vector based graphics.

[Coidzor]

Y'know, I just found myself realizing I can't remember how to classify whether a jawline is weak or strong or neither.

I find myself pondering this because it's been forever since I've seen my face.

[Phase]

A weak jawline is every jawline.

A strong jawline is Gaston's jawline.

[Perenelle]

So today I almost got fired for making the mistake of thinking that bagels count as "bread."

I hate humans so much sometimes.

.....Bagels arent bread?? Since when?

what exactly were you doing?