Batman vs. Cthulu

[Vaynor]

Cthulu Wins in a straight fight, Batman wins with preparation.

Or does he? What kinds of preparation can you get against Cthulu, anyways?

You spelled Cthulhu wrong.
Also, how could Batman defeat this beast!!?

[Steward]

You spelled Cthulhu wrong.
Also, how could Batman defeat this beast!!?

By killing it.

[Elurindel]

Batman is just a mortal man, and nothing can prepare a mortal man to stare upon Cthulhu without his own brain trying to crawl out through is spine and flee to safety, which it cannot achieve because it bursts at the instance Batman lays eyes upon him.

[tis_tom]

He'd probably end up using thermal vision.. or uv lightvision... something which makes Cthulhu less detailed to the extent it will no longer drive him into the very depths of madness itself...

Though Cthulhu would own Batman, unless Batman brought in the help of one of the others of his kind, or even the outer gods :-O, there's only so much a high priest can do against a god!

And of course Batman, with preperation, could do that ;)

[Steward]

Batman is just a mortal man, and nothing can prepare a mortal man to stare upon Cthulhu without his own brain trying to crawl out through is spine and flee to safety, which it cannot achieve because it bursts at the instance Batman lays eyes upon him.

Considering Batman is from a comic book, he's seen weirder crap than Cthulhu before. I bet he eats things that are more disgusting than Cthulhu on a daily basis.

That being said, unless Batman is allowed to call in Superman, he's dead. Deader than dead. Deader than deader than dead.

[Jarl]

Not only is Batman from a comic book, he's from a Gothic comic book. He's from a city with the word "Goth" right in the name, possibly built on the ruins of Arkham (I like that idea more than it just being alternate universe New York). He lives in a cave, underground, surrounded by bats and eldritch tecknologies, as Hewlett-Packard Lovecraft would say.
Randolph Carter? Pfff. Batman's frickin' Nyarlathotep.
...
Huh.
That... almost makes sense, in a Randall Flagg sorta way.
...
Anyways, I say that Batman figures out how to beat Cthulhu. He's tough. His mind's already twisted beyond human recognition.

-At the very least, all you have to do is wipe out the cultists trying to wake him up. Maybe you'll have to blow up the island if the stars are right. Big deal. The US blows up islands all the time. Used to, at least.

[Closet_Skeleton]

Easy. Cthulhu cannot awaken unless the stars are right?

Batman takes the JLA Satellite for a joy-ride and triggers a few Supernovas. =D

Yeah, but Cthulhu would cheat and say that it takes so long for starlight to get here that the stars would become right and it'd just be the after image of long dead stars but he'd awaken anyway.

[Tokeloshe]

Batman wins. Why? Batman has the power of plot-cheese on his side, and besides, bats isn't exactly a picture of mental stability so Cthulu loses his main avenue of attack due to redundancy.

[Flak_Razorwill]

By killing it.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons even death may die."

Also, it looks like a lot of people are invoking allies into this mix. Shouldn't Shub-Niggurath or Nyarlathotep get into the mix? How about being randomly teleported into the brain of a Yith slug-pyramid 100MYA?

Eh, it could happen.

[Abd al-Azrad]

Also, it looks like a lot of people are invoking allies into this mix. Shouldn't Shub-Niggurath or Nyarlathotep get into the mix?

I noticed that with the Batman threads.

"Can Batman defeat X?"
"Yes, by bringing Superman along."

It's not really Batman's victory if Superman wins the fight. Granted, Batman would be moderately pleased with himself, but he didn't really win, did he?

"But Batman gave Superman the X weapon and created Y weakness in the enemy!"

Good for him. He's "contributing." Don't make any more comparisons to the party Bard.

[Steward]

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons even death may die."

Also, it looks like a lot of people are invoking allies into this mix. Shouldn't Shub-Niggurath or Nyarlathotep get into the mix? How about being randomly teleported into the brain of a Yith slug-pyramid 100MYA?

Eh, it could happen.

Awesome, the more the merrier.

Because, of course, if Batman were try to take down Cthulhu on his own, he'd be screwed.

[Abd al-Azrad]

Because, of course, if Batman were try to take down Cthulhu on his own, he'd be screwed.

Precisely.

[Altair_the_Vexed]

The Justice League has already stopped Armageddon. (Yes, the Armageddon.) Honestly, for these guys Cthulhu is a step down. =p

Er... Armageddon is place.

Back to Batman and the Great One:
What rules system? In the original CoC game, Batman is eaten along with 1d4 other investigators per round.

[Steward]

Er... Armageddon is place.

Eh? Armageddon is also an event as well as a place.

What rules system? In the original CoC game, Batman is eaten along with 1d4 other investigators per round.

That's another interesting question. The setting has a lot to do with who wins and who loses. Cthulhu would be a substantial disadvantage if he was in the DCU, and likewise with Batman anywhere else.

[crusk]

i hate batman go die batty

[Deuce]

Easy. Cthulhu cannot awaken unless the stars are right?

Batman takes the JLA Satellite for a joy-ride and triggers a few Supernovas. =D

In true Lovecraft style, the Caped Crusader's blasting of the stars turns out to be the very event that causes the "Stars to Come Right". Bats returns to find what he has caused, and either is reduced to rocking back and forth in a corner or eating a Bat Pistol round.

[Steward]

In true Lovecraft style, the Caped Crusader's blasting of the stars turns out to be the very event that causes the "Stars to Come Right". Bats returns to find what he has caused, and either is reduced to rocking back and forth in a corner or eating a Bat Pistol round.

In true DC style, however, that action would simply cause a whole bunch of dimensions to vibrate at a different frequency, causing a whole bunch of Batmans from other universes entirely to appear.

Of course, among those Batmans would be the one from the Challenge of the SuperFriends show. He, of course, would have a Bat-Get-Rid-Of-Monster-ifier in his godlike utility belt.

[Smashymcsmash]

Oh how many times has that Bat-Get-Rid-Of-Monster-ifier saved him?

[Jarl]

Batmany.
(hey, that has the word "batman" in it!)

-I still argue that, were circumstances contrived to allow the two to meet and fight, Batman would be revealed to be some emissary of the Elders who shall strike down the sleeper, yea, te-ke-li-li, all that nonsense.

[CelestialStick]

I noticed that with the Batman threads.

"Can Batman defeat X?"
"Yes, by bringing Superman along."

It's not really Batman's victory if Superman wins the fight. Granted, Batman would be moderately pleased with himself, but he didn't really win, did he?

"But Batman gave Superman the X weapon and created Y weakness in the enemy!"

Good for him. He's "contributing." Don't make any more comparisons to the party Bard.

Shush! You are going to give the Bat-deifiers an inferiority complex. Don't say anything to remind them that Batman's just a guy in tights. ;) (Notice I didn't say "in a rubber suit.") :D

[CelestialStick]

In true DC style, however, that action would simply cause a whole bunch of dimensions to vibrate at a different frequency, causing a whole bunch of Batmans from other universes entirely to appear.

Of course, among those Batmans would be the one from the Challenge of the SuperFriends show. He, of course, would have a Bat-Get-Rid-Of-Monster-ifier in his godlike utility belt.

You mean like the Bat-shark-repellent in the live action Batman movie of the 1960s? :D

[Steward]

You mean like the Bat-shark-repellent in the live action Batman movie of the 1960s? :D

It's even worse in the SuperFriends show. He had Bat-Webs, Bat-Invisibility Rays, and, even more infamously, Bat-Lube. If Cthulhu doesn't choke on his own aberrant laughter after hearing that then he deserves to win.

[Xerillum]

batman can be kiled by anything, and everyone knows cthulu woulsd totally kick his arse.

[Zeful]

You know I just don't get the hype about cthulhu I mean from what I've seen he's not all that great. I mean how could batman lose against this? I mean I could even beat it!

I'm just not seeing this guys.

[CelestialStick]

It's even worse in the SuperFriends show. He had Bat-Webs, Bat-Invisibility Rays, and, even more infamously, Bat-Lube. If Cthulhu doesn't choke on his own aberrant laughter after hearing that then he deserves to win.

I did watch some Superfriends, though that came the next decade (started 1970s) so I stopped watching it long before it ended in the 1980s. I can honestly say that either I never saw or I simply don't recall Bat-lube. Why didn't you mention that on the "Favorite Bat-Gadget" thread?! Wow, that just opens up so many possibilities. ;)

[Ralfarius]

To reiterate Cthulhu's bit-playeredness:

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cthulhu

"Although the cycle of stories written by Lovecraft, his protégés, and his literary successors bear the label "Cthulhu Mythos" (a term invented by August Derleth and never used by Lovecraft), Cthulhu is arguably one of the least terrible creatures in the pantheon. Cthulhu himself debuted in Lovecraft's short story "The Call of Cthulhu" ( 1928 )—though he makes minor appearances in a few other of Lovecraft's works."

People just gotta stop dropping the Big C's name. He's the most recognizeable, sure. Granted, his powers twist the boundaries of mortal comprehension. However, the fact that he's the little kid in the sandbox, and there are bigger kids outside the sandbox that could step on his sand castle and make him eat dirt suggests that he is not nearly as undefeatable as so many people would like to believe.

And yes, if Batman encounters Cthulhu directly, he gets eaten (Yum yum!) and/or driven mad(der) at the sight of the Great Old One. The fact of the matter is, Batman is more likely not going to let it come to that. With his power of nigh-infinite resources, Batman could come up with a half dozen ways to stop Cthulhu.

Of course, 'stop' is a relative term. Fact of the matter is, Cthulhu has time beyond reckoning to simply wait. Batman's efforts merely hold off the inevitable and prolong the existance of the tiny, tragically flawed creatures that currently inhabit the surface of this world.

So, I'm going to have to say that Batman can 'win' against Cthulhu, as much as any mortal could. It's ultimately futile, but he has it.

Now, if you were to pit him against The Crawling Chaos, one who has taken an intimate interest in directly affecting the comings and goings of mortals... I've got to say, an opponent who isn't in a deathlike, dreamlike stasis which has lasted untold aeons presents a much scarier challenge.

[CelestialStick]

To reiterate Cthulhu's bit-playeredness:

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cthulhu

"Although the cycle of stories written by Lovecraft, his protégés, and his literary successors bear the label "Cthulhu Mythos" (a term invented by August Derleth and never used by Lovecraft), Cthulhu is arguably one of the least terrible creatures in the pantheon. Cthulhu himself debuted in Lovecraft's short story "The Call of Cthulhu" ( 1928 )—though he makes minor appearances in a few other of Lovecraft's works."

People just gotta stop dropping the Big C's name. He's the most recognizeable, sure. Granted, his powers twist the boundaries of mortal comprehension. However, the fact that he's the little kid in the sandbox, and there are bigger kids outside the sandbox that could step on his sand castle and make him eat dirt suggests that he is not nearly as undefeatable as so many people would like to believe.

And yes, if Batman encounters Cthulhu directly, he gets eaten (Yum yum!) and/or driven mad(der) at the sight of the Great Old One. The fact of the matter is, Batman is more likely not going to let it come to that. With his power of nigh-infinite resources, Batman could come up with a half dozen ways to stop Cthulhu.

Of course, 'stop' is a relative term. Fact of the matter is, Cthulhu has time beyond reckoning to simply wait. Batman's efforts merely hold off the inevitable and prolong the existance of the tiny, tragically flawed creatures that currently inhabit the surface of this world.

So, I'm going to have to say that Batman can 'win' against Cthulhu, as much as any mortal could. It's ultimately futile, but he has it.

Now, if you were to pit him against The Crawling Chaos, one who has taken an intimate interest in directly affecting the comings and goings of mortals... I've got to say, an opponent who isn't in a deathlike, dreamlike stasis which has lasted untold aeons presents a much scarier challenge.

Cthulu would be what in D&D we categorize as an intermediate god. Not powerful compared to the Elder Ones, but still pretty darned powerful, and easily more than a match for any mortal like Batman, whether or not Batman prepares.

[Jarl]

You know what... I'm gonna outright claim that Batman is in fact Nyarlathotep, via reincarnation or posession or some sort of horrible trick involving Mr. and Mrs. Wayne (like with Terry's dad).
Cthulhu and friends aren't evil. They're just beyond our simple human moral reasoning.

-I also came to the realization that Nyarlathotep is Gandalf, but that's for another thread.

[Abd al-Azrad]

...Cthulhu is arguably one of the least terrible creatures in the pantheon.

I think you've got to realise the purpose behind that statement- the explain the true horror of the Mythos, that Cthulhu, a mighty demigod of a being that could practically single-handedly wipe out all human life (beyond those that dedicated themselves to living as the Old Ones do) is one of the least powerful forces among the known Gods.

Cthulhu is indestructible, a master of the mind and dreams, immortal, gigantic, and weilds cosmic powers beyond those of most of the Marvel superheroes. The fact that he's the weakest of the Gods simply goes to show how powerful the Old Ones really are. The rest of them don't even fight on our terms. Cthulhu casts Meteor Swarms, Azathoth devours planets by accident.

[Ralfarius]

See, what I'm trying to get at with that statement is that there are things more powerful than Cthulhu out there. I mean, if it really came down to it, couldn't Batman just invoke a more powerful god as a trump card?

Granted, that would have potentialy more dire consequences than simply letting Cthulhu eat Batman. The point is, there are ways to best even a Great Old One. If anyone could find such a way, it would be the world's greatest detective.

Not to get too up on Batman or down on Cthulhu. I'm just sayin', people are too cut and dry in their answers.