LGBTitp - Part Seven

[Moonshadow]

...
Really? Again?

I have contacts, but I almost never wear them. As in, I think my current pair might be out of date, and I've only worn them once or twice... Anyone know anything about 'em?

All I know is that I am terrified of ever wearing them. Because I'm paranoid about them rolling round to the back of my eyeball!

That, and I actually like how I look in glasses.

...

Yep, I got nothing useful *scuttles away*

[Delusion]

Was filling some documents for Uni yesterday and I nearly marked "Female".
Need to be careful in the future :D

[Jaros]

The whole 'rolling to the back of your eyeballs' thing is a total urban myth. Soft lenses fit to your eye, and I'm not even sure it's possible to have them move around.

Hard lenses, however, can move around your eye, they're much smaller and 'sit' on your eye rather than actually fitting to it. They're not too hard to get out if they do slip off the centre of your eye, but can be very uncomfortable and if they move round to the side enough can be a liiiiittle bit terrifying. Like I said, it's impossible to move round the back but I still get paranoid about it when I'm having to push it round my eye to try and get it somehwere where it's easier to take out (this has only happened twice). It's unlikely though that you'll need hard lenses. I wear 3 lenses myself (two hard, one of which sits on a soft lens)

Aaaaaaanyway, Hi, I'm Jaros. Bi, and out to pretty much all of my friends at Uni, but not many people at home know.

[Moonshadow]

I'm too much of a wuss to try contacts They just really freak me out. A lot. The whole putting them in and taking them out thing especially.

I'd rather get laser-eye surgery, and then wear cosmetic glasses. I like how I look in glasses

[Elentari]

...
Really? Again?

I have contacts, but I almost never wear them. As in, I think my current pair might be out of date, and I've only worn them once or twice... Anyone know anything about 'em?

If they're the soft lenses, they usually last two weeks to a month when they're being worn all the time. Shelf life for soft contacts that havent been used yet is usually bout a year I think. I think if those contacts were only used for a bit, then stored in sterile saline solution, should be fine for a few months.

Disclaimer: In no way am i any kind of eye professional...might want to ask your optometrist if you're not sure.

[Lix Lorn]

...
Really? Again?

I have contacts, but I almost never wear them. As in, I think my current pair might be out of date, and I've only worn them once or twice... Anyone know anything about 'em?

Contact issues?
Well, you can't go wrong with the mafia. You treat em right, they'll see you through everything. However, there is a school of thought that prefers the KGB, and some nationalists go with MI6 or CIA.

[Ostien]

Thanks for the ego boost you sweet hearts.

Well, all of the clothes I was wearing were women's other than the jeans (I couldn't figure out the size system for women's jeans blurgh) and my underwear (BOXER BRIEFS: THE PERFECT BALANCE OF BOXER AND BRIEF).

I'll chip in with a "lookin' good!" (and lookin' androgynous as well) "Women" sizing can be troublesome as it may change slightly from brand to brand. I think I'm a 32 inch waist (I wear mostly "women's" jeans now so haven't looked in a bit) and usually a size 10 fits me. Generally the rule I've heard is subtract 21 from your waist size and find the closest size to that usually going up a size. Also "women" sized jeans are cut more fuller in the hips so they will fit differently, which could mean better if you are more hippy then what is expected of genetic males.

Genderqueer, male. That's more of an andro look. I have tunics and skirts, too, which are definitely more feminine. My goal is to look consistantly somewhere between feminine and femininely-androgynous. If I get "miss"ed, it's good~ I basically want to look visibly queer, even if it's only displayed by hair and a tiny bit of jewelry.

I know a fair amount of genderqueers (myself included) and trans folk and just looking at your pics I could probably call that you are queer identified of some stripe. So, success !

[Faulty]

...
Really? Again?

I have contacts, but I almost never wear them. As in, I think my current pair might be out of date, and I've only worn them once or twice... Anyone know anything about 'em?

You and Scorp are both have roughly animal related names starting with 's'. ._.

I love you honest. ;_;

I'll chip in with a "lookin' good!" (and lookin' androgynous as well) "Women" sizing can be troublesome as it may change slightly from brand to brand. I think I'm a 32 inch waist (I wear mostly "women's" jeans now so haven't looked in a bit) and usually a size 10 fits me. Generally the rule I've heard is subtract 21 from your waist size and find the closest size to that usually going up a size. Also "women" sized jeans are cut more fuller in the hips so they will fit differently, which could mean better if you are more hippy then what is expected of genetic males.


I know a fair amount of genderqueers (myself included) and trans folk and just looking at your pics I could probably call that you are queer identified of some stripe. So, success !

May I ask when you realize you were genderqueer, and what it means to you? Are you male or female biologically? If that's ok to ask.

P.S.- your sig quote is <3.

[Danne]

I guess I have more faith in humanity than you do, I figure most people want to do good and are just ignorant.

Sounds like. I'm a cynic. XD

I gotta tell you, I'm starting to regret coming out to my friends. Now they coddle me like I just lost all my limbs or have contracted some terminal disease. And some of them keep repeating how "okay" they are with it. Often without provocation. Yes I get it. I got it the 1st bloody time you said it and I get it now! Leave me alone!

I can't say anything to them of course because all they're really doing is being nice, but it doesnt change the fact that it makes me want to bludgeon them with a freaking 9 Iron.

Sounds frustrating. Is it possible that they're not as okay with it as they're saying, and the only reason they keep saying it is because they're trying to convince themselves that they are? Hopefully that's not the case.

You could just try saying something to them. "Guys, I really appreciate your support, but you don't need to coddle me or keep reminding me that you're okay with it. I'd really prefer if you just don't make a big deal about it. Say, wanna play [insert favorite game here]?"

Seriously, stand up for yourself. You deserve to have friends who can treat you normally.

[Ostien]

May I ask when you realize you were genderqueer, and what it means to you? Are you male or female biologically? If that's ok to ask.

P.S.- your sig quote is <3.

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Well the word/identity of genderqueer is relatively new for me probably like a year and a half or two years, not really openly identifying with it until this year though. Knowing I was gender funky? I donno in highschool I thought a bit about being odd in the ol' gender department, nothing really specific (on a side note during that time came to the realization I was not straight, said bi then use pan now). Did some crosdressing and such into college, in private, going through the whole shame cycle and everything. Knew I didn't fit into the whole "typical trans narrative" (never felt trapped in another body, had memories of crossdressing as a child etc.) but just didn't know where to go from there. Eventually reading more gender theory made it easier to accept my genderqueerness and start being much more open and saying to hell with the gender binary.

So yeah not like genderqueer was the endpoint in a long series of events culminating in a realization of my true self. Just kind of fell into it, constructed it, and I like it like that. Hey let's all be postmodern ****s Genderqueer is thus kind of a form of self invention as well as a way of summing up the fact that I don't fit well into discrete gender categories and will often dress or act in a way not fitting with the particular gender norms I am assumed to adhere to.

I'm biologically "male" (scare-quotes because really even in biology male and female are imaginary theoretical endpoints with ranges of what is considered male and female with intersexed being just a visible middle range. Between XX and XY is a good quick read on that.)

Heh yeah have always been a bit of a J.S. Mill fan and its such a good quote. Political Theory major so really I can't resist that kind of stuff (also this one flies under the political radar on this forum, had to remove my last one because it was too political) Thinking about replacing it though..

[Serpentine]

You and Scorp are both have roughly animal related names starting with 's'. ._.

I love you honest. ;_;

You love HER D=

...but that's okay, cuz I do too. Come back Scorpina!

[Jacklu]

Faulty is indeed pretty.

Serp is also too as well.

[Serpentine]

Thanks ^_^
...I think.
Y'know, that sentence would still say the same thing if it was "Serp is also also also"...

[Jacklu]

True, but the goofy bad grammar sounds better.

[Faulty]

You love HER D=

...but that's okay, cuz I do too. Come back Scorpina!

I was talking about Scorpionica. He's a guy who's involved in the GitP Steam community. He loves Audrey Hepburn and is a really good Scout in Team Fortress 2.

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Well the word/identity of genderqueer is relatively new for me probably like a year and a half or two years, not really openly identifying with it until this year though. Knowing I was gender funky? I donno in highschool I thought a bit about being odd in the ol' gender department, nothing really specific (on a side note during that time came to the realization I was not straight, said bi then use pan now). Did some crosdressing and such into college, in private, going through the whole shame cycle and everything. Knew I didn't fit into the whole "typical trans narrative" (never felt trapped in another body, had memories of crossdressing as a child etc.) but just didn't know where to go from there. Eventually reading more gender theory made it easier to accept my genderqueerness and start being much more open and saying to hell with the gender binary.

So yeah not like genderqueer was the endpoint in a long series of events culminating in a realization of my true self. Just kind of fell into it, constructed it, and I like it like that. Hey let's all be postmodern ****s Genderqueer is thus kind of a form of self invention as well as a way of summing up the fact that I don't fit well into discrete gender categories and will often dress or act in a way not fitting with the particular gender norms I am assumed to adhere to.

I'm biologically "male" (scare-quotes because really even in biology male and female are imaginary theoretical endpoints with ranges of what is considered male and female with intersexed being just a visible middle range. Between XX and XY is a good quick read on that.)

Heh yeah have always been a bit of a J.S. Mill fan and its such a good quote. Political Theory major so really I can't resist that kind of stuff (also this one flies under the political radar on this forum, had to remove my last one because it was too political) Thinking about replacing it though..

That's similar to me. I always felt like... I wasn't really a man. But I grew up being taught that penis = man, boobs and vagina = woman. So I just ended up with some self-loathing going on about being a bad man. Woo, essentialism. I always wanted excuses to dress as a girl (Halloween) but never did, I always played female characters in games if you had the choice, prefered female protagonists in fiction, etc. I just felt this strong non-identity with who the gender binary said I was. Taking feminist philosophy classes and learning about transgender and transsexual and intersexual people, and the cultural construction of gender, and reading like Judtih Butler, Anne-Fausto Sterling and Simone de Beauvoir was really eye opening, and it made me question my heterosexual-manitude. Then after a few months I was (this is sorta lame) at a Tegan and Sara concert and was around a load of queer women and it made me think closely about gender again and due to my discovery of the fact that not all males are men and not all females are women and that's ok made me go all like WOAH and then I was all losing sleep thinking about it and discovered "genderqueer" and it just made me feel a lot more comfortable. I finally tried on and bought some women's clothing, and I went through a lot of that self-loathing and feeling like I didn't fit the trans narration too, but now I feel alright. My only worry is finding a romantic and sexual partner, because I'm mostly attracted to female secondary sexual characteristics and femme or androgynous gender identities. I could be in a relationship with a male (I'm more picky about males than females though), but would need to be able to sleep with females on the side.

I digs utilitarianism. My first major was philosophy. I just feel like ethics should benefit people and then I read Peter Singer and ended up reading J.S. Mill in an ethics class and was all like BADASS.

[742]

ripping off band-aids is the best way to handle it, but if there is possibility of extreme pain, perhaps the application of an anesthetic would be appropriate?*

*sorry if im using big words to mask the fact that im an idiot right now, but that.

[Ostien]

@Faulty:
Ahh yes, Judith Butler, like the gateway drug of gender theory! Yeah the self-loathing/"not trans enough" stage is quite terrible (though it sometimes rears its ugly head from time to time) but glad you are out of that as well. As for romantic partnerships you'd be surprised, you don't even have to limit yourself to queer spaces really. People can be fairly open minded given the chance. I have similar romantic tastes to you and have been in a stable relationship with a cisfemale for like five years (so I came out while in the relationship). Don't agonize over it, the types of people who would have a problem with your identity are probably not the people you want to date. I don't have much exp with open relationships, I know a few people who have been in them but thats all. It can be tricky from what I have seen but it can definitely work if done from the start. Introducing it later usually has mixed results. Also aside from open relationships I have seen some committed threesome arrangements that seem happy. But yeah don't fret too much, honestly you probably think it is a bigger deal then most others will, at least thats how it has been for me.

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Heh yeah I started with a kind of Utilitarian bent, ran headlong into Marxism for a while (people like Lukács, Gramsci and Luxembourg being highly influential) then through the various post-Marxists (such as Althusser etc.), feminist and queer theory mixed in, got into existentialism (how could I not?) then into post-structuralism and on to the post-modern. Oh so many influences, all still with me to some extent. Foucault, Derrida, Said etc. is pretty much where it is at for me now.

Are you still in school for philosophy?

[Faulty]

@Faulty:
Ahh yes, Judith Butler, like the gateway drug of gender theory! Yeah the self-loathing/"not trans enough" stage is quite terrible (though it sometimes rears its ugly head from time to time) but glad you are out of that as well. As for romantic partnerships you'd be surprised, you don't even have to limit yourself to queer spaces really. People can be fairly open minded given the chance. I have similar romantic tastes to you and have been in a stable relationship with a cisfemale for like five years (so I came out while in the relationship). Don't agonize over it, the types of people who would have a problem with your identity are probably not the people you want to date. I don't have much exp with open relationships, I know a few people who have been in them but thats all. It can be tricky from what I have seen but it can definitely work if done from the start. Introducing it later usually has mixed results. Also aside from open relationships I have seen some committed threesome arrangements that seem happy. But yeah don't fret too much, honestly you probably think it is a bigger deal then most others will, at least thats how it has been for me.

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Heh yeah I started with a kind of Utilitarian bent, ran headlong into Marxism for a while (people like Lukács, Gramsci and Luxembourg being highly influential) then through the various post-Marxists (such as Althusser etc.), feminist and queer theory mixed in, got into existentialism (how could I not?) then into post-structuralism and on to the post-modern. Oh so many influences, all still with me to some extent. Foucault, Derrida, Said etc. is pretty much where it is at for me now.

Are you still in school for philosophy?

Judith Butler is the gateway drug if you can freaking understand her. I read her in Topics in Feminist Theory, this amazing 25 person philosophy class. I had to read her part of the course packet like five times, comb my notes and read an interview with her. Thank you for the advice and information on findings partners by the way. I had enough trouble romantically and sexually as it were before (by "trouble" I mean I'm a virgin and have never been on a date) and it was one of the things I worried about most as I was coming to grips with all this. One of the worst parts was this ultimately unhelpful psychologist who was supposed to know a lot about trans people who said that "crossdressers" are never accepted by women and rarely find partners in an upsettingly nonchalant way. I didn't go back after that session. :\

I'm in Women's Studies at the moment, double minor in Sexual Diversity Studies and Cultural Studies (a stream of English). I need to read more philosophy argh. :( I have Foucault I've barely penetrated. I just get stressed about what to read. I need to work on my ability to focus. And play less League of Legends.

[Jacklu]

Blar... Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis close to outing to my mom about my girlfriend being transsexual tonight. =/ Was about to speak up when her phone rang and I lost my chance. -_-

[Lycan 01]

Hm. Well, are you sure that's something you want to do? Maybe you can use this chance to put more thought into it. I don't mean to cast a shadow of doubt or anything. Its just, I thought you didn't want to tell your parents yet. So why are you trying now? What made you decide?

[Jacklu]

What made me decide was that I have a girlfriend and my mom, at least, is going to want to meet/talk to her at some point. Kinda forces the issue.

[Quincunx]

It doesn't.

However, some of us (you, and myself too) prefer to be 'forced by circumstances' instead of moving our mouths of our own volition.

Just be sure you're not using this revelation as a test run for outing whatever you care to out about yourself. That would be disrespectful to your woman.

[Danne]

Blar... Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis close to outing to my mom about my girlfriend being transsexual tonight. =/ Was about to speak up when her phone rang and I lost my chance. -_-

That sucks. Hopefully you'll get another chance soon. Good luck!

[CoffeeIncluded]

The gay marriage ban in California has just been overturned by the state supreme court.

[Asta Kask]

I think that's politics Coffee. Better remove it.

[Ishmael]

I think it's slightly relevant, in the context of this thread....

In any case, I'm disgustingly happy right now. As my facebook status says right now: "today is a day to celebrate the victory of equal rights over oppression. Of basic human dignity over those who would seek to invalidate the lives of others. Proposition 8 was overturned! It's time to keep this trend continuing! :)"

[Porthos]

The gay marriage ban in California has just been overturned by the state supreme court.

Federal District Court, but close enuf.

And congrats to all who are affected by this!

[Danne]

I hadn't heard yet. Thanks for letting us know!

[JonestheSpy]

You can read the entire ruling here, it's awesome:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/35374462/Prop-8-Ruling-FINAL

[Kara Kuro]

I was going to pop in here for congratulations/exclaimations of awesomeness as well <3 Just found out myself.

Wonderful news really.