Several Silly Sealions Stuffed Seaweed Southward Swiftly (Or, Random Banter #143)

[Coidzor]

As someone who has been naked before in his life... I have to say, stepping on a cockroach with your bare feet is not fun.

[Cobalt]

I once went totally ninja on a horde of wasps. Took me a good half-hour to find and pick up all the bodies.

Disposing of them was another matter.

Spoiler

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A word of explanation: There is a wasp nest growing in my chimney. Every year they come out to terrorize the country side and a few times I've been actually driven from my house by them. It gave me a huge phobia of bugs in general, but wasps (and bees) in particular. Then, one night, when all was silent and I was left to fend for myself, I slaughtered the whole lot of them in an epic battle where I cursed their names and mothers, families and homes. I somehow cut a gash in my hand on a flat wall when dodging back to avoid getting stung, which I'm still a bit confused about, but I conquered my fear of wasps and purged the unholy from my living quarters. So all is well.

[Rawhide]

I thought it was a bardiche.

No, a bardiche connects to the shaft at two points.

[Teddy]

I once went totally ninja on a horde of wasps. Took me a good half-hour to find and pick up all the bodies.

Disposing of them was another matter.

Spoiler

Show

A word of explanation: There is a wasp nest growing in my chimney. Every year they come out to terrorize the country side and a few times I've been actually driven from my house by them. It gave me a huge phobia of bugs in general, but wasps (and bees) in particular. Then, one night, when all was silent and I was left to fend for myself, I slaughtered the whole lot of them in an epic battle where I cursed their names and mothers, families and homes. I somehow cut a gash in my hand on a flat wall when dodging back to avoid getting stung, which I'm still a bit confused about, but I conquered my fear of wasps and purged the unholy from my living quarters. So all is well.

Sounds too me that you're using your fireplace far too seldom. The obvious sollutions should be to smoke, no, burn them out of your house.

[Cobalt]

Sounds too me that you're using your fireplace far too seldom. The obvious sollutions should be to smoke, no, burn them out of your house.

You're not the first to suggest this. Unfortunately, I'm afraid that if I touch the blasted thing it'll explode into a pillar of flame and my wooden home will be no more.

Stone chimney, wood everything else. And there's not too much brick between the fireplace and the wood floor boards...

Yes. My house is very poorly designed.

[Player_Zero]

Oh dear. It appears my mother has decided I am depressed and made an appointment with my GP for me.

I do not intend to go. Going to the doctor is always quite amazingly awkward and I have no intention of telling him, or anyone, about my psychological health.

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[Dallas-Dakota]

Well maybe that's what you get for shunning humans.

[Phaedra]

Oh dear. It appears my mother has decided I am depressed and made an appointment with my GP for me.

I do not intend to go. Going to the doctor is always quite amazingly awkward and I have no intention of telling him, or anyone, about my psychological health.

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Ah, go along. It'll make your mum happy and you don't have to do anything when you're there. I've been to the GP for depression, it's not that bad. Maybe it'll even help.

[Alarra]

Agreed. If nothing else, it isn't likely to cause you any harm. And it just shows that your mother is worried about you. Refusing to go will likely lead to a fight, which will only make her more convinced that you actually need the help.

[Player_Zero]

I don't want to sit in a room with someone I don't know in silence as he pesters me with questions I don't want to answer.

There is Zero chance of this being a worthwhile use of my time and will only serve to bother and annoy me. Regardless of whether my mental health is in question, I have nothing to say to my doctor and will say nothing.

[Zeb The Troll]

The way I see it, there are two possible outcomes of actually cooperating. 1) You convince the doc that you're not actually depressed, just experiencing normal teenage angst. 2) Your doctor discovers that it's not just normal angst and you get the help you actually need.

Whichever case is actually the truth, being difficult about it won't do anything but prolong the aggravation you get from your parental unit until a professional either confirms or allays her concerns.

[Player_Zero]

You have to be a teen for teenage angst. Nice condescension.

Do I get to insult your intelligence now or would you get overly offended?

[Zeb The Troll]

I wasn't intending to be condescending. I have no idea how old you are. Parents just usually don't make doctor's appointments for their adult children. (I wasn't even aware that it was possible.) It was a reasonable conclusion to draw.

[Phaedra]

I don't want to sit in a room with someone I don't know in silence as he pesters me with questions I don't want to answer.

There is Zero chance of this being a worthwhile use of my time and will only serve to bother and annoy me. Regardless of whether my mental health is in question, I have nothing to say to my doctor and will say nothing.

Then say nothing, the GP won't torture words out of you if you don't want to talk. If it's anything like my appointment it will take 15 minutes. I'm sure you can endure someone talking to you for 15 minutes.

[Quincunx]

Oh dear. It appears my mother has decided I am depressed and made an appointment with my GP for me.

I do not intend to go. Going to the doctor is always quite amazingly awkward and I have no intention of telling him, or anyone, about my psychological health.

Spoiler

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Put on your big girl panties and deal with it. At the very least, have the gumption to call your own GP and cancel your own appointment--and deal with the fallout from that.

[Player_Zero]

Then say nothing, the GP won't torture words out of you if you don't want to talk. If it's anything like my appointment it will take 15 minutes. I'm sure you can endure someone talking to you for 15 minutes.

Why would I bother to sit through 15 minutes of awkward silence for no reason?

Put on your big girl panties and deal with it. At the very least, have the gumption to call your own GP and cancel your own appointment--and deal with the fallout from that.

That's an awfully aggressive reaction to something entirely unrelated to yourself. I do hope that isn't projection bias.

[Exachix]

I once went totally ninja on a horde of wasps. Took me a good half-hour to find and pick up all the bodies.

Disposing of them was another matter.

Spoiler

Show

A word of explanation: There is a wasp nest growing in my chimney. Every year they come out to terrorize the country side and a few times I've been actually driven from my house by them. It gave me a huge phobia of bugs in general, but wasps (and bees) in particular. Then, one night, when all was silent and I was left to fend for myself, I slaughtered the whole lot of them in an epic battle where I cursed their names and mothers, families and homes. I somehow cut a gash in my hand on a flat wall when dodging back to avoid getting stung, which I'm still a bit confused about, but I conquered my fear of wasps and purged the unholy from my living quarters. So all is well.

Can I just say, that sounds like it would make an epic movie.

A house terrorized by the living dead... A chimney in dire need of a fire... This is one Man's quest to eliminate the presence of the foul creatures.

This is...

Wasps in a Chimney

[Archonic Energy]

Eh, I'm a wee bit of a Trekkie, I like to watch TOS, TNG, and I've seen all the movies.

What is this TOS you speak of?

[Cobalt]

Can I just say, that sounds like it would make an epic movie.

A house terrorized by the living dead... A chimney in dire need of a fire... This is one Man's quest to eliminate the presence of the foul creatures.

This is...

Wasps in a Chimney

You should have been there to see it happening. If I had set up a camcorder, it already would be.

Let me set the scene:

I stepped out of my quarters, the only wasp-free corner in the land... Knees trembling, hands shaking, fearing for my life because God knows: the swarm is waiting for me. I draw my weapon- the mighty Excaliswatter, passed down for generations- and turn the corner, readying myself for whatever awaited me. To my shock- it was waiting for me! and I stagger back, tripping on the second step and catching myself on the wall, but not at the expense of my blood. Clutching a cloth to quell the bleeding, I charge my foe in a bloody rage, striking at the beast as it dances on the winds of Valhalla to avoid my strikes, flying with a hellish grace as I swipe at the air below it.

At last! a lucky blow, and its writhing body lay on the ground, crawling desperately as it regrets its very existence. I approach, but before I can deliver the finishing blow, its allies- from the room over! They fly as one, a cloud of demons thirsting for the blood of he who struck their brother.

And so it began- the epic struggle of one man and his trusty blade in his working arm, defending his homeland against the invaders that have pillaged his tranquility for a year too many!



If I don’t make this a screenplay before I die, I declare my life to be a failure.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Mosquitopocalypse

[Phaedra]

Why would I bother to sit through 15 minutes of awkward silence for no reason?

Because it will make your mum feel better? Is that not reason enough?

[CurlyKitGirl]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
My results have been published, but I'm too nervous to log in and find them out.
*widespread panic*
Halp.

[Thufir]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
My results have been published, but I'm too nervous to log in and find them out.
*widespread panic*
Halp.

Why does this sort of crippling results nervousness always afflict those who have assuredly done really well?

I don't see how we can help, unless you're proposing to give your login details to one of us to find out for you. Which is a potentially dubious idea.

[Phaedra]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
My results have been published, but I'm too nervous to log in and find them out.
*widespread panic*
Halp.

Invest in some Dutch courage?

[Exachix]

Curly! Worry not! For without knowing how you did you cannot continue.

Your results cannot be changed now - but do not fear! Panicking about it won't change anything, so why do it? Nevertheless, your results will be good, and you will get what you want.

On the other paw, if you don't get your results and you fail miserably, you'll be late for going through clearing and then you may not get a place and everything will go wrong!

So get your results to get a feeling of elation early on! Or to go through Clearing faster.

Uh.. this post didn't go as well as I'd hoped.

[Thufir]

Curly! Worry not! For without knowing how you did you cannot continue.

Your results cannot be changed now - but do not fear! Panicking about it won't change anything, so why do it? Nevertheless, your results will be good, and you will get what you want.

On the other paw, if you don't get your results and you fail miserably, you'll be late for going through clearing and then you may not get a place and everything will go wrong!

So get your results to get a feeling of elation early on! Or to go through Clearing faster.

Uh.. this post didn't go as well as I'd hoped.

Psst. Curly's just finished her first year of uni. Getting a place and going through clearing are not really issues for her at this point.

[CurlyKitGirl]

What is this TOS you speak of?

It's fun, sometimes cheesy, sometimes very cheesy and sometimes awesome.
Then again, you refuse to believe the series that started Star Trek exists, so there's no point in telling you.
Because you'll assume I invented it all, just for you.
I did by the way.

Why does this sort of crippling results nervousness always afflict those who have assuredly done really well?

I don't see how we can help, unless you're proposing to give your login details to one of us to find out for you. Which is a potentially dubious idea.

Invest in some Dutch courage?

Ohmysweetbabyjeebus.
I did it. No Dutch courage (or any other courage), just pure unadulterated panic.

Results:
I passed.
Not as well as I could have done, didn't get a First or anything, but I passed.
No retakes for me! No scholarship either, but hey. I passed.
And as these results don't affect my degree I don't have to worry about them not being 100% super-duper-amazing.
Note to self: I should actually revise properly next time. And thoroughly.

EDIT:
@Exy: EXY!! *glomp hugs*
Haven't seen you around in ages.

[Exachix]

Psst. Curly's just finished her first year of uni. Getting a place and going through clearing are not really issues for her at this point.

Ooh. Well.. Then replace "clearing" with "Applying to re-do Yr1" or such simmilar.

...

Congratz Curly! As you said it doesn't go towards you overall mark, but it's nice to see how well you're coping.

And how much you may need to revise.

@ Curly; EEP! Ohhai =P.

[Quincunx]

Can I borrow that swatter now that you're done with it? Some sort of gnat-type insect is trying to turn my herb pots into a gnat house of ill repute.

Why does this sort of crippling results nervousness always afflict those who have assuredly done really well?

By the gods, if that isn't one of life's unanswered questions. . . .I can't even effectively pin it on inability to draw a conclusion from prior evidence, since the feelings of inadequacy forked the scientists just as strongly as it did those in less evidence-based professions. Maybe it's another facet of the (equally incomprehensible) lowering of the self as a social signal for wanting reassurance. If I dwell on that thought I'll get. . .poetic. Already spent three times as long as typing out the initial thought on inserting clarifying phrases and leaching out the metaphors. Poetry and its shorthand devices would be far easier and far quicker.

[Castaras]

Why does this sort of crippling results nervousness always afflict those who have assuredly done really well?

Because they know that if they've done badly then it'll look really awful compared to their normal standard of results?

I've given up on exam nervousness, simply because I know I'll have done one thing not as well as I liked, possibly more. So no point in worrying before, I'll do the worrying and crying after I get the results.


I WANT MY AS RESULTS ALREADY GRAGAHGASGALSFHASKLGASGHGASLKIGASKFJ!