[Twi]Vampyr Assassin!!!: A Lynching Spin-off

[The Shoveler]

Johnny sighs as he points his gun at the Vampyre, firing straight at the arm that the Hemoglobin Laser is attached to. Make them useless and you shall win!
Also UV light with those holy bullets, Johnny's favorite 1-2 combo punch!

[darkblade]

((Physical point spend))

James runs in against the dog welded vampire and slashes at his cybernetic arm. Take that out and he won't be able to do much but run at them with undead dogs which while crrepy isn't all that effective in combat.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

The bullets dent the Hemolaser gun arm, causing sparks to fly out of it.

The UV light seems to nauseate him, but otherwise doesn't seem to cause any real damage.

Dracula ran around in sunlight. Right. Although he had no powers during the day....

James Connor

{Physical Point Spent}

With raw strength, you cleave through his Hemolaser arm, slicing through metal to seperate it from his body. Richie the Dragon snarls, and backhands you with his intact arm, sending you flying across the room, crashing into a bookshelf.

Then he turns and jumps with unnatural strength, leaping out of the spotlight that is Johnny Python's UV lamp, vanishing into a shadowy portion of the room.

[industrious]

The Captain

"HEY!"

Now he's angry.

"MY ARCH-NEMESIS DOESN'T FORGET MY NAME!"

He lunges at where the vampire vanished, hoping to beat his name (Captain, comma, The) into the undead's face.

[Colesign]

The Dummy Captain

You charge into the shadows boldly...and find nothing. As you spin around, looking for the assailant, you suddenly see a pair of Glowing Red Eyes.

"Rhor Rhods Rhake, Rhou Rhumb Rhass!!! Rhime Rhot Rhor Rhemisis! Rhog. Rhelder. RHIS!!!!!!"

An Evil Looking Red Eyed Dog walks out of the shadows. If one can call it a Dog: imagine a red-eyed creature made entirely out of tightly packed shadow, and you'll get an idea of what this was like.

The Dog barks. Then suddenly, an entire litter of Evil Shadow Dogs burst out of the shadows, and dogpile the Captain, licking and biting and trying to stick their noses into his privates.

Some Vampyrs can turn into Mist. Others can turn into bats. Richie the Dragon can turn into a swarm of Junkyard dogs, apparently.

[The Shoveler]

Noise, good!
His senses turn him towards the barking as he shines a light on the situation. He also shoots the shadow dogs. They looked ugly. He hated ugly.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

You shoot some of the dogs off, and wind up shooting the Captain in the process.

But he can take it. You think.

[darkblade]

James attempts to slice the dogs off of the Captain.

[Colesign]

James Connor

Your sword slices and dices at the dogs. With a bit of sweat and toil, you manage to hack them off the Captain's body. Suddenly, the Shadow Dogs melt down and withdraw into the shadow.

Even more suddenly, Richie the Dragon flings himself out of the shadows, soaring through the air, his four mouths seeking to take a bit out of Crime...Fighters.

Dog Welder, specifically.

[The Shoveler]

Johnny is being ignored, so he has the freedom to go to the crate and pick up some supplies. He then finds Miguel and hears the Catholic Hip-Hop. He finds it amusing.
"What is this garbage? Oh well, at least it is keeping the Vampyres at bay," he says, going to the crate. He takes some C4 with him to the next room and sets it up on a pillar. He then sets up some rope and attaches some C4(split the stick in half for this) to this. He then pours holy oil on the explosives, puts some garlic shavings on the pillar next to the C4, and sets them up for remote detonation. His Boa takes the rope and sets it up for a swinging arc. His plan was set. If it didn't destroy the Vampyre, it would at least disorient him.
This was going to be fun.
He shines the light on the Vampyre and attempts to attract him to this trap. This happens approximately 5 minutes after the lunge towards Dog Welder.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

{+1 Mental Plot Point to you for coming up with an...interesting plan. That also leaves you with only one C4 block left}

For a man who welds Dogs to people's face, Dog Welder is really good at dodging. As you shine your UV light into Richie's eyes, he curses, then turns and raises his Laser arm.

Which has been utterly destroyed. He lowers it with a curse and springs out of the light, and into the shadows.

From the other shadowy corner of the room, a horde of Shadow Dogs springs out at you. Unlike before, these ones have wings. Flapping madly, the horde swarms toward you, ready to bite and nibble and nuzzle you to death.

[The Shoveler]

The Boa releases the rope, sending the C4 swinging down towards the flying monstrosities. He then detonates the block attached to the rope, leaving the one on the pillar unused. He shines his light on the dogs as the carnage ensues.

[Draxx]

Dogwelder
Sacrifice one point or another.
He had made a tremendous mistake. He'd armed Dog Welder, in the most extreme way possible. He'd given him an unending supply of ammunition.
The crime fighter leaps aside, gathering one of the shadowy dogs, dousing it in lighter fluid as well as superglue, then tossing it at the previous victim.
He repeats this until he is struggling under a mass of dogs, then takes his blowtorch. This will be his masterpiece.
Eyes narrowed behind his mask, he begins to sculpt.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

The trap goes kablooey!!!, and several of the shadow dogs get blown to shreds: the others go flying, and land at the feet of Dog Welder, blowtorch flaring.

Dog Welder

{Reflex Plot Point spent. Thanks for posting Draxx: I owe you one. To clarify, though, Richie the Dragon didn't 'summon' the shadow dogs: he polymorphed into the shadow dogs. Soooo....}

You begin throwing all the shadow dogs into one another, welding and superglueing and lighter-fluiding. When you're finished, you've created a huge ball of writhing and squirming shadow dogs, unable to move or even roll around.

If he could just make it into shadow, he'd be able to shift back to human...ish form. As it is, he can only twitch and rock back and forth.

One of the Dog mouths speaks. "Rhog...Rham Rhou, Rhog Rhelder!!!!!!!!!!!"

[darkblade]

James rushes over to the quivering mess of puppies and attempts to cleave it in two.

[Colesign]

James

The mass of shadow dogs gets cleaved in half. Unfortunately, this partially restores their mobility. The intact dogs within the two piles begins crawling their way toward the shadowy corners of the room.

[The Shoveler]

Johnny Python walks up to the quivering masses of dogs and pours the remainder of the Oil he used for his gun and the C4 on those pour things. He then drops a cigarette on the things. He smiles at the flames as he lights another cig for himself.
"Nice day for a ***, you know?"

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

The cigarette falls, and the two halves of the shadow dog ball go up in bright, blessed flames. It screams for a long time as the flames burn it to a crisp. Then it stops.

Level 4 Boss Richie the Dragon: Dead, Dead, Dead!!!!!

There nothing much left in this library, except for the large amounts of books. The book on the table had been blown across the room by your 'trap'. It has Gold Lettering on it's cover: if you look close, you can make out the words:

Spoiler

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The Encyclopedia of Easy Deity Summonings: A-G

[industrious]

The Captain

"Books. I hate books. Everybody keeps giving me books, like 'Controlling your Emotions for Dummies' or 'How to Expand your mind in Five Easy Steps.' I hate books. People always assume I'm an idiot!"

Scowling all the while, he kicks one of the nearest bookshelves down.

[The Shoveler]

(Wait, f*g is censored? It means cigarette in Britain! Stupid system...)

Johnny goes over and looks at the book, flipping through the pages for the G section...

[Colesign]

The Captain

The books fall before you like wheat before the blade of a combine harvester.

Then a bookshelf falls on you.

Johnny Python

Some page turning bringing you to the entry for your favorite Mullet-headed Roman Snake Deity of Fertility, Glycon!!!!!

The entry reads: "On Evoking the Champion of Glycon in Three Easy Steps!!! Below the entry, there is a complex diagram:

Spoiler

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Below that, there lies this concise explanation:

To Summon the Supreme Champion of the Fertile Snake God Glycon, so that thou mayest employ his services to smite your enemies, perform the following actions with great humility, diligence, and care:

1. Create the above Magickal circle upon a level surface: the greater circle is for the protection and focusing of the will of the practitioner, whilst the lesser triangle is the point of emergence for the Champion to be summoned.
2. Within a Chalice, prepare an offering to appease the great Champion of the Long and Slithery One, consisting of: the venom of a snake, the Blood of the enemies you wish the Champion to smite, a potent hallucinogen, the ashes of one of those ****ty Dark Age comic books from the 80s, and something Tasty.
3. Pour the Offering within the lesser triangle, whilst chanting:

Hail, Glycon, the most fertile of snakes
Hail, Glycon, whoest gives me virile strength
Hail, Glycon, whose aid I greatly desire.
Hail, Glycon, whose Champion shall descend
Hail, Glycon, whose aspect upon this earth shall come forth!

4. Thus the Champion shall be summoned, and his powers shall be yours during your conflict with one of your foes.

Near the bottom, there are some frantically scribbled notations, crude, cursive notes:

Wrong Reference!

Not the Pure Demon Olvikan!

Check out O Section!

Become Invincible! Ascension Draws Near!

There's something not quite right about the handwriting. It take you a while to piece it together...

The handwriting...is just too...

Sparkly.

[The Shoveler]

He puts his finger in the page detailing Glycon's summoning. He'd need to find some blood and some Dark Age comic books. Maybe a bit of Young Blood...

He looks for Olvikan.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

This part of the Encyclopedia only goes from the letters A to G: pursuing the shelves of the Library doesn't help, as the appropriate Encyclopedia section doesn't seem to be anywhere.

You do find an issue of New Mutants with a prominent image of a be-muscled Cable, though.

[The Shoveler]

He shrugs, takes the comic, and has three of his snakes start making the proper signs on the ground from the ashes of Richie the Dragon.
He, however, looks around for some type of chalice.

[industrious]

The Captain

"...Ow."

He's currently buried under the bookshelves. And because he doesn't quite get the expression "lost in a good book," decides to take this time to philosophize.

"You know, I don't think that guy was my archnemesis. Archnemisises are supposed to slink away at the last moment so you can fight them on a weekly basis, and you get to try all sorts of wacky schemes to defeat them. I mean, you can't face an archnemesis only once; that defeats the purpose of it."

[Colesign]

The Captain

Wow. That was so insightful. You know I think we've learned something today: just because people don't have an arch-nemesis, doesn't specifically not mean that they can't be super awesome and cool. And smart.

Johnny Python

You can't find a Chalice. Or the blood of your enemies. You do find some incredibly moldy bread: it might do just the trick for inducing a hallucination!

Still, you don't have all the ritual components: the only place to go to look...

Is up. To the final level.

The Fifth Level of Vampyr-Castle-Mech.

[industrious]

The Captain

"...and that, is my definitive proof for why the prequels are better than the original trilogy. Next, I'll examine All-Star Batman and Robin, which is the greatest comic of all time..."

You've all learned something today. Never let the Captain get put in a situation where he thinks he should be saying insightful things. You don't know if your ears have begun to bleed yet. You're afraid to check.

[The Shoveler]

Well, there is no way he's going to taint his hands with this filth (the comic book) for much longer, so he takes the vial that had the Holy Oil and opens it. He burns the comic on a table or some form of raised platform until it turns to ash, pushes it to his hands, and puts some in the vial. He then takes some of the spitting cobra's venom, which wouldn't destroy the ashes due to its very nature, and puts it in with the comic. He then crushes the bread and puts that in the vial too. Now he's got one half of the mixture. Just something Tasty and the blood of his enemies to go.
He smirks.
"My ritual isn't complete yet, but oh well. Let's move onwards and forwards! The last boss awaits us now, team!" he yells, walking towards Level Five.

[Colesign]

Team Assassin

You open the double doors and step through, leaving the gothic section behind. In front of you lies an elevator: unlike the industrial nature of the previous elevators, this one is...sleek. Silver and black metal, glowing blue buttons, and a strange Aesthetic that just screams "Alien tech". You get in, (although Miguel has to fold his mech up just to get in), and press the one button.

The Elevator ascends. Time...to end this.

Level 4: Castle-Mechvania: Cleared!!!!!!!

The elevator ascends silently and smoothly. Finally it opens.

Final Level: Command Deck

You walk out of the Elevator...into a scene right out of a scene from Star Trek. Groups of pale, handsome, men and women are seated at command consoles, fingers dancing over holographic displays showing images of the Ruined capital of Australia...and target reticles. One of the viewboards shows a schematic of the Vampyr Castle-Mech right out of 'Mech-warrior'. Levels 1 and 2, in particular, are lit up with yellow and red damage indicators. It tickles all of your hearts to know you managed to do some damage.

In the center of the room, a group of 'generals' huddle over a computerized tactical map aglow with markers and waypoints, quietly debating over the next course of action: which units to destroy, which civillian sectors to 'Harvest'.

All the chatter fades to silence, as they turn around, and look at you, eyes and mouths gaping.

[The Shoveler]

Python sees this and smiles. He can almost taste the shock coming from these people.
"I take it that you generals have never seen combat before? Or maybe you're just shocked that we so easily defeated Richie the Dragon? Oh well, either way, I'm going to have to show you the errors of your plans," he says, waving his hands around in a hammy way, not worried about consequences. "Human aren't cattle to be destroyed and fed upon whenever you please. You see, we're actually," he takes off his glasses, "cold-hearted Snakes. *Hiss*"
One of the tiniest snakes known to man is sneaking along the floor, planning on taking a blood sample from one of these men. It would wait until ordered.