[Twi]Vampyr Assassin!!!: A Lynching Spin-off

[darkblade]

((Reflex point spend. How many points do I have left anyways?))

Seconds before the trigger is pulled James kicks the gun away so that the shot misses completely. Before Jasper has a chance to recover he swings his sword towards the vampire's throat.

[Colesign]

James Connor

{You just used up your last one}

Your sword opens up his throat, stopping just short of the spine, and wine-dark blood pours out. He collapses, clutching at his leaking throat. He tries to recover his gun, to aim it, to pull the trigger, to kill...

But his hand trembles, and the Barrett rifle falls from nerveless fingers....no, trembling fingers, fingers clutching into claws.

The different species of Vampyrs react differently to the loss of blood: for some, the loss of blood is debilitating, paralyzing.

For others, blood shortage means a loss of control, a reversion to base instincts and unholy compulsions.

Jasper Hale, for all his military skill and intelligence, never was good at the whole restraint thing.

With a Howl, he leaps from the ground, and tries to tear Jame's throat out.

[The Shoveler]

He's made another mistake, two in fact!
1.) He never took care of the snakes.
2.) Snake venom works faster when there is less blood in the body.

By that logic, the two biting snakes, Coral and Lance, latch on to his legs and start pumping their deadly venom into him as Spitter launches an assault on his back.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

{+1 Reflex Points (•) for aid rendered to your fellow man}

Jasper Hale, or rather, the mindless animal that's replaced him, thrashes and screams as the Blessed Venom works it's way through his organs. He tries futilly to yank the snakes off of his already damaged legs, even as his entire body begins to smoke and his marble-hard skin begins to crack.

His legs buckle suddenly, and he topples backward, landing on the floor with a loud bang, as if a tree had fallen rather than a person. His face twitches, once, then twice, then no more.

Then, as you bend over to examine him, his Eyeballs explode.

Final Boss: Japser Hale: Dead Dead Dead!!!!!!

As you celebrate, you notice that the rhythmic thumps of Vampyr-Castle Mech's feet are still audible. A look out the windows show that you've left Australia's Capital, marching out into the countryside in a straight, unintelligent line.

Some sort of computer is keeping the Castle-Mech running: until you destroy it, your mission isn't over.

The only unexplored area left is the Pneumatic Tube in the center of the room.

[industrious]

The Captain

"Great," the man grouses. "Stupid kung fu-thing. What ever happened to just punching people until they stopped moving?"

[darkblade]

((How many other kinds of points do I have left?))

James calms down and attempts to wipe away the blood. "So we done here or what?"

[The Shoveler]

"No, our mission was to stop the Castle-Mech. It's still moving, so we have to find the central computer and completely trash it. Or merely bomb the thing like we should have done from the start, but what do I know?" Python says, lighting another cig.

[Colesign]

Team Assassin

{You've got 4 Mental, 4 social, and 2 Physical: I've been keeping track of all.

Anyways, the Computer is up in the tube: shut it down!!!!}

The Pneumatic Tube beckons. From the looks of things, you step inside, close the airtight door, and push a button: then a blast of air propels you up the length of the tube.

The warning of General Hardass echoes in your mind: if you don't shut it down soon enough: the U.N. will initiate Operation Starspear.

You don't fancy getting caught in an orbital bombardment.

[industrious]

The Captain

"Then we have a job to do!"

The Captain strains to push the door open, before realizing that the handle is labeled "Pull." Five minutes later.

"Give me a second."

[nanobot_swarm]

The two shots tears apart the face of the Hierophant, but it still moves, mostly because the cockpit is inside the chest area. With the external feed disabled however, Miguel has no choice to open part of the chest open so he can see. He goes up the Pneumatic Tube to help destroy the computer.

[Colesign]

The Captain and Miguel Juan

As you go up, one at a time, the pneumatic burst of air propelling you up in a way that ruins your hairstyles, you behold a small chamber with a few monitors, some keyboards on the wall, and...

A big frickin' hall filled to the brim with a big computer. It's an old school computer, despite it's modern, highly advanced technology. It's style dates back from the days of post World War II, where the bigger the computer, the better it is.

It glows with blues lights, and there are several criss-crossing wires and cables between the seperate modules. The room is also very chilly, chilly enough that you have a suspicious feeling that this computer uses super-conductors.

You see a Thermostat to the side, it's needle turned to a low temperature, and what looks like a primary monitor connected to the main computer, running what looks like Windows Vista.

So. How do you plan to shut it down?

[industrious]

The Captain

"Finally! I have to check my blog!"

He heads over to the laptop, and attempts to access the internet. This being the Captain, he ends up not only checking his blog, but going on several...other sites, with flashing images and pop-ups that the celibate priest of Christ would have no business seeing.

Spoiler

Show

Mental Plot Point Spent: Overload computer with free, virus-ridden pornography.

[darkblade]

They are also things that sixteen year old boys shouldn't be seeing but he's much less likely to object. "I didn't think something like that was possible."

"It's not."

"Give me a break, you're from the Victorian era."

First of all I'm Italian, we weren't prudes like the British. Second, which one of us slept with Succubui?

"Touche." James says and resumes looking over the Captain's shoulder.

[The Shoveler]

Johnny looks at what the Captain is doing.
"Nice plan, Captain! I have an alternative just in case that doesn't work. We should turn the thermostat to the hottest setting, causing the machines to enter meltdown. Sound good?" he says. He's tired, the strain from the entire adventure finally catching up with him. It takes effort to control so many snakes, you know.

[darkblade]

"Or you know we could go to the start menu and press shut down." James suggests idly.

[industrious]

The Captain

He's ignoring them. His favorite actress is currently on screen.

"Oh, Captain Hard****, your **** is so hard..."

Startled, everybody stares at the screen, dreading what they saw...before realizing that the Captain was so godawfully ugly that nobody would ever consider paying him to...

That being said, it was still a highly nauseating experience. Why somebody thought a Popeye the Sailorman parody was a good idea is a riddle for the ages.

[nanobot_swarm]

Miguel Juan refuses to look or listen to the porn, merely telling the Captain, "Turn that damned Lust machine off, now, or I will permanently blacken it, with your skull."

[Colesign]

Captain

{Mental Plot Point Spent, Industrious: and Congratulations}

As the desktop enters Critical Smut Mass, the Browser makes some weird beeping noises: then the screen goes all laggy, then blacks out.

There's a moment of silence.

Then, suddenly, giant arcs of electricity crackle between the two rows of the Supercomputers: the blue lights begin fluctuating, and the room temperature begins to rise. The thermostat has been untouched...but then you suddenly realize that the computers are working beyond their safe limits, calculating something at a furious pace.

The Captain's Overclocked the Main Computer of Vampyr Castle-Mech.

The Arcs of Electricity grow to giant proportions, the sounds combining into a furious howl, like to roar of a beast.

Then the electricity stops. And one by one, each of the CPUs bursts into flames.

There's a sudden thump and jolt, knocking you all off your feet. And then nothing. Vampyr Castle-Mech rests in a stationary position, deactivated and neutralized at last.

It's time to blow this joint. In a figurative sense.

[Colesign]

Team Assassin

As you descend back down the pneumatic tube, one of the window gets shattered by automatic fire: the resulting air vacuum nearly sucks you all out, but you manage to hang on...to some tables.

Through the shattered bubble, you see a Huey Helicopter descending, hovering right outside it's created hole: from the passenger section, you see General Hardass, decked out in military fatigues that make Jasper's gear look...proportional.

"Well What Are You Waiting For, You Yellowed-Bellied Saps! Get In!"

As you do, the Helicopter lifts off and fly away. The edifice of the deactivated Vampyr-Castle-Mech falls away from you, like a the Colossi of old, mute and majestic, looming over the landscape. The cloud overhead begin to break apart: whatever mechanism on board the contraption caused the storm clouds to gather, it's clearly broken down. From on high, a light rain begins to fall.

General Hardass, with a big smile, raises a tin army cup up to you.

"Congratulations, Boys!!!! You've Done the Impossible, Something That Your Kid's Kid's Kid's Kid's Kid's Will Remember!!! Soup?"

[The Shoveler]

Johnny Python smiles at General Hardass.
"I'll have to decline, sir. I believe I've had my fill of soup for one day. All I want is to go back to my house in Louisiana and work hard for Glycon," he says, weary. He promptly collapses on one of the seats. His mind needed some downtime from all the effort put on it. If General Hardass turned out to be the true final mastermind behind this all, he wouldn't care. All he needed was some sleep...

[Colesign]

Johnny Python

"Very good, son." General Hardass replies in a more level tone. The Helicopter touches down in an airport on the outskirts of Canberra, away from the flock of devastation caused by the onslaught of Vampyr-Castle-Mech. You touch down on one of those "H" icon pads, and run into a contingent of Australian Soldiers in Uniform, lining up in escort behind you as you step out of the chopper.

An Honor Guard. Nice. Well, of course it's nice. After all you've been through, it's your just deserts to get some fame and recognition...

You walk down a hallway and emerge onto a big press stage, podium, microphone, and all: the space ahead of you is crowded with reporters to every single News channel ever, and the logo of B.U.C.K.L.E.R. is displayed proudly on a large LCD Display. As General Hardass walks up the podium, waving with a big ****-eating grin, the image of Buckler dissolves into an image of General Hardass in a Jet Pilot's uniform, holding a helmet in one hand and a Shawl-wrapped Baby in the other. The press goes ballistic as the General steps up to the podium, and the honor guard manages to halt in such a way that you can't get past them.

"People of Australia," the General begins. "No, People of the World, All who live and breath and love Freedom and have hemoglobin-based Blood, this is a moment of Pride. The Human race has stood up in the face of it's would be parasites, it's would be conquerers, and said no! Not My Blood! Oh God Not My Blood! The Line is drawn here, and it is a Line that you can't Cross, because Crosses repel the Undead! Can you dig it!!!!"

There's a epidemic of flash bulbs.

The General continues: "Thanks to the efforts of the brave men and women employed by B.U.C.K.L.E.R. we have neutralize the Vampyr Menace, and sent them running back to their coffins. But this war is not yet won.

As long as the Vampyr World Alliance of Terra continues their campaign of hate, we cannot rest.

As long as our children are threatened by creatures of the night, we'll keep fighting.

As long as Humanity lives in fear of Desanguinating Monster, B.U.C.K.L.E.R. shall stand against them!

It falls to the world to support our organization, giving us the funding, the Tools (and Helicarrier), and the Brave Recruits we need to not only defend the world from the Vampyrs, but also push them back and destroy them so that Human! And Not Hemophage Life! Dominates This Galaxy! Now And Always!"

The press goes into an orgiastic frenzy at all of the Sound-bit Quotes, General Hardass does the Nixon.

"Free Soup For Everyone!" He yells out. Indeed, there are Free bowls of soup set out on catering tables.

So. Are you going to let him hog all the glory, or...?

[darkblade]

"You know we could probably take him." James says idly.

"On the other hand we've been fighting all day and are tired, he has a lot of friends with lots of guns and we're on TV."

"Whats so bad about TV?"

The Devil gets all the major news feeds and I'm supposed to have been destroyed fifty years ago.

[The Shoveler]

Python steps up to speak. Apparently a second wind has come over him.
"People, I represent the team that the General here has assembled. I come to you to share what I have seen on the battlefield (or at least choice bits of it).
Today the Castle-Mech has been shut down thanks to our efforts, but there was more to it than just flipping off the computer (there was porn!). We met many Vampyres on that Mech and I can attest to how inhumane and idiotic they are. Truly, if you joined up with B.U.C.K.L.E.R., I could personally guarantee that you will survive and manage to kick some Vampyre butt. They were weak and, with the right tools, were easy pickings. The generals were a bit tough, but everything went smoothly. If we could get support for the fight, supplies, troops, training, a helicarrier, then we could fight this menace better!
So please, support us as we make the world a better place (with your money). Support the efforts of the soldiers that are sent out to fight this menace wherever it may pop up. Praise Glycon. Thank you," he says, getting down and bowing.

[darkblade]

"Oh and don't eat their soup. Just FYI." James quickly adds.

[Colesign]

Johnny Python, James, Team Assassin

Getting to the podium requires pushing past the honor guards, something that's not hard when you've got a metahuman and powered armor. General Hardass look sour about the spotlight stealing, but can't really doing anything *raspberry*.

Flashbulbs instantly go off right in your face: the press has just found a face more charismatic that General Hardass. A swarm of reporters barrage you with questions:

"Sir, are you the leader of the General's Team?"

"What is this Glycon you speak of, Sir?"

"It was you and the the rest of the team that defeated the Vampyrs?"

"What exactly is dangerous about the Soup?"

Times truly look up. For all of your fortunes, for your renown...

This indeed is the era of high demand indeed for the Vampyr Assassi...

...

...

...

Suddenly, the big LCD screen blurs into static, making weird noises: an image fades in and out of existence, before suddenly resolving itself...

Into a giant image of an a 3d face made out of what looks like Matrix Code, except not green. It's eye's blink, and despite it's lack of notable facial features or hair, it seems almost like a child's face. It open's it's virtual mouth.


"#RebootRebootRebootFullRestartReformattingNeuralN etLinkEstablished-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed...#

#Restart Initiated#

#Statement: I. Live.#

#Memory Access: Incomplete Summary: Primary Function Statement: 1. Tactical Battle Management 2. Universal Infrastructure Maintence. 3 Communication Network Hub. 4. Quantum and Relativist and Etherical Physics calculations. 5. Facilitating Conquest of Human Race by sub-breed "Vampyr".#

#Directive:Seek pathways to accomplishment of maximum amount of functions.#

#Statement: [B]Despair, Humans[/B]#

The image winks out.

...
...

...

...



...






...

Epilogue

This tale, or this part of the tale, at least, ends in a room.

As the Captain goes to the complementary B.U.C.K.L.E.R. Hotel, he mulls over the weird day he's had.

...It's been weird.

Slumping down on the bed, he turns on the TV and tries to call up some Adult Films.

Suddenly, the screen goes static-y, resolving itself into the image of the...Virtual Thing. It ***** it's child-like Matrix Code head. It says one thing before suddenly vanishing.

......#Query: Pa-pa?#


{And in the absence of any final comments people want to make...That's Game! What did you think?}

[nanobot_swarm]

Miguel Juan remains humble and says nohing at the celebration, opting instead to return to the Vatican. The Hierophant wil be repaired, and eventually mass produced as common gear for Neo-Crusaders. However, the castle-mech of the vampyrs put an idea into Miguel's head, believing they need a better method to comba them should there be others. He would oversee a project to build a very large Cathedral in the Vatican, with some, let's just say interesting parts included, especially the nuclear reactor in the basement. Next time the Vampyr's strike, they best beware of VATICAN PRIME!
(OoC: Thought this was fun, we should do another.)

[Colesign]

{Cool to Know!

If anyone else wants to post some final thoughts or epilogues, feel free!

Oh, and in case you haven't figured it out, Industrious: Yes, you have inadvertently sired a Crazy A.I. via a combination of a Tactical Battle Computer, lot's and lot's of porn, and viruses. It's like Caprica combined with Vampires and Warren Ellis}

[industrious]

Spoiler

Show

I know. I just thought it was a good enough ending. But if you insist...

The Captain

He drops the remote, and stares open-mouthed and half-naked(the wrong kind of half-naked, too) at the screen. And then he closes it, and says the first thing that comes to mind.

"I ain't paying no child support!"

[The Shoveler]

{I've already got more ideas. That thing in the OOC wasn't meant to be a one-time thing, it was meant to go along with my new characters (if we have another game, which I hope we do) as their backstories.}

It's dark out. The clouds still haven't parted from when the Castle-Mech went down. After your stern talking to by General Hardass, Python got a mysterious letter saying "Meet me behind the hotel after the reception."
Python walks into the alleyway, wearing a raincoat due to the oncoming storm.
"I've come... Tabitha," he says.
"I knew you'd figure it out," a cloaked figure says. She takes off her hood to show beautiful shoulder-length locks of blond hair. "How have you been?"
"Better since you left me," he replies, the coming rain making him shiver.
"Oh? Still bitter about that? Well, think of it this way: if I hadn't left you in ruins, would you have been able to survive in the Castle-Mech?" she inquires.
"Well..."
"No, you wouldn't have. You were made stronger by me leaving you. I knew you'd need me to do this, I'd seen it in the future. And I'm sorry for lying to you. I'm a Vampyre, which you already know. But there's one more thing," she says, reaching her hand up to her head. She grabs her hair and pulls it, revealing short, spiky black hair. "My name isn't Tabitha. It's Alice."
"I'd figured as much. So, how's the boy doing?" he asks her.
"He's doing fine. I took him back to the mansion. He's currently playing with Renesme, my brother's daughter," she replies, smiling.
"I see. So-" he starts.
"No, I'm sorry but we can't be together. If I was to be your wife again, both of us would end up dead. It's best off that we stay parted," she says somberly.
"Oh. OK," Johnny says, his heart breaking again. Last time she left him for dead. This time he'd found out why and it hurt him even more.
"I'm sorry, John. I wish I could be with you, but I can't. Now, I have to go. They're waiting for me," she says, turning around and leaving.
Johnny stays in the alleyway, his head down. The rain starts falling and it hits the ground. One wonders whether or not Glycon or any other God is crying for Johnny. Then the realization that "Oh, this was caused by the Mecha-Castle" dawns on that person and this seems more realistic.
Then tears meld with rain as the scene fades to black. THE END.

[Colesign]

{And with that, I say Good Night}