1001 Bad Plot Hooks

[Cartigan]

I know where 65 comes from and that is an awesome idea for a campaign.

If you don't know where 65 comes from, you should be more ashamed than a Dwarven Necromancer.

[BladeofOblivion]

If you don't know where 65 comes from, you should be more ashamed than a Dwarven Necromancer.

Agreed. Those who do not get 65 have far too little knowledge of classic literature to be accepted in any elitist intellectual group!

*Sips tea from armchair.*

[Kalaska'Agathas]

Well, yeah, 65. and 66. are pretty blatantly ripped off. And maybe 62. I'm not sure.

67. A Dragon Blooded Warlock obsessed with "winning" has lost his job, and is looking for an apprentice. Are You the One?

68. You are on the personal staff of the local Dark Wizard Ruler. The Wizard has gone on a three week bender and you must fight to keep his reputation unsullied. Well, unsullied for a Dark Wizard from Mars that is.

69. You and your party have been invited to party with the local Dark Wizard Ruler. Can you survive a night of wild partying?

70. You and your party are the touring crew for Xiggy Fairydust and the Giant Spiders from Mars. Can you survive this tour?

[Gaius Marius]

71- You start up at yourselves, and a portal sucks you into a FANTASY LAND!

But you keep your current stats and classes.

[Cartigan]

Are we going to do barely obscured pop culture references for plot hooks?

[Earl William]

71. Everything has suddenly caught fire. EVERYTHING.

[Kalaska'Agathas]

Are we going to do barely obscured pop culture references for plot hooks?

Hey, barely obscured or not, it would be an awesome session.

[Gaius Marius]

Hey, barely obscured or not, it would be an awesome session.

... you'd really wanna play yourself in a Fantasy world?

[Kalaska'Agathas]

... you'd really wanna play yourself in a Fantasy world?

I meant more the Dragon Blooded Warlock from Mars who's looking for an Apprentice. I've got friends who are (foolishly, in my mind) trying out for that internship.

[The Glyphstone]

72: A chaotic tiger-blooded warlock is going on a rampage in the city's entertainment district. Stop him.

[No brains]

I know where 65 comes from and that is an awesome idea for a campaign.

HEH HEH, Yeah, you could say it's EPIC!
/e burst into stupid laughter

72. You are helping a human expert deliver magical devices called "Servers". Suddenly the roads are all closed because someone is kidnapping Tibbit kittens. Can you uphold the lofty ideals of the PETA guild, while still honouring your contract to the land of Goonia?

73. You are an an artificer brewer headed to the festival known as BEERFESTO to show off your hometown's ale. But there are dangers afoot, there is evidence of a cheater among the contestants, and it is whispered the abolitionist church that supplied sober guards might really be trying to get their enemies all in one place... Can you win the beer competition, expose the plots, have fun and find an easy barmaid? This is: BEERFESTO!

[Ravens_cry]

If you don't know where 65 comes from, you should be more ashamed than a Dwarven Necromancer.

OK, so you would need to obscure it a little and change the gangs quite a bit, but the basic idea "gang leader calls all gangs together for meeting, gang leader gets killed, players gang gets framed and have to survive making it back to their own territory" is gold.
Can you dig it?
Seriously, it would make a city adventure that was more then a bunch of dungeon crawls in basements.
CAN. YOU. DIG. IT?

[Kalaska'Agathas]

75. The elves are holding a festival on a farm - full of music, nudity, strange potions with stranger still effects, music, and lack of personal hygiene. The trouble is, the road to the festival is so packed (and the surrounding wilderness so impassable) that the musicians and Bards cannot get through the crush of elven bodies to get to the stage. Can you help? Would you like to take a hit of this bubbling green potion with purple haze rising from it?

Edit: And I think you mean "CAAAAHHHNN YOOOUUUUUUU DEEEEEEGGGGG EEEEEHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTT?!?!?!"

[Yukitsu]

One I actually used once:

76: A practicioner of wii-mote-fu is looking for the legendary excalimote, a legendary weapon lodged deep into a television. He who pulls forth excalimote from the television will become the rightful president of Nintendo.

[SlyGuyMcFly]

40. Several citizens have gone missing in a strange dimension. Go investigate.

I could totally see a Wyld themed Exalted campaign dealing with that.

[No brains]

77. You and some friends watched Gangs of New York. You made a crude drawing of the handlebar mustache guy who killed lotsa people and called it your guild charter. You are now the thieves guild.

[Kalaska'Agathas]

One I actually used once:

76: A practicioner of wii-mote-fu is looking for the legendary excalimote, a legendary weapon lodged deep into a television. He who pulls forth excalimote from the television will become the rightful president of Nintendo.

But the sword in the stone wasn't Excalibur!

78. In the midst of an ages long war between the Vampires and the Lycanthropes, a stunning Vampire maiden and a handsome Lycanthrope lad (or a brace of handsome lads or pretty maids, if you prefer) have fallen in love, completely star crossed. The Lycanthrope's father, wishing his progeny to be happy, has decided to sue for peace. Can you convince the Vamps to give it up and let love conquer all?

[GeekGirl]

You all wake up naked, and in a bed together. You're a bit sore. You have no memory of last night....the guards are banging on the inn door claiming damages to property.

This kinda reminds me of a funny story I probably should get into here. :P

[Kalaska'Agathas]

This kinda reminds me of a funny story I probably should get into here. :P

Freudian slip?

[Yukitsu]

But the sword in the stone wasn't Excalibur!

Caledmote doesn't sound as interesting, and I didn't think the table would get it. Plus, I can't pronounce Welsh.

[Lord Raziere]

79. you meet bunch of orcs in their dungeon, they tell you to go slay a bunch of people in a bar whose leader is an old man.

80. an overlord has hired you to go find this halfling who is carrying this ring he lost a long time ago.....

[Kalaska'Agathas]

Plus, I can't pronounce Welsh.

By some it may be argued that neither can the Welsh.

I wouldn't go that far, not in a public forum anyway, but there you go.

Speaking of the Welsh:

81. You have been sent by the Monarch to survey the kingdom. You come to a small mining town which boasts the first mountain in this district of the kingdom (which was itself a separate kingdom, long ago). You find them to be incorrect - their hill is ten of the realm's feet too short to be called a mountain. Taking pity on them (perhaps due to a romantic sub-plot), you have decided to rally the village and add another ten feet to the hill, allowing them to keep their claim of the first mountain in the district.

82. The King has decreed that everyone must wear green shoes. Do you join/form a rebellion of Other Colorists or comply and help put down the fomenting rebellion?

83. Some mysterious force is killing off all of the realm's artists and artisans when they reach their 27th year. Find and stop it.

[Haarkla]

{scrubbed}

85. A noble has hired you to castrate a rival.

86. You are all dung elementals.

87. The beggars guild are on strike and the assasins guild have gone out in sympathy. Your mission is to break the strike.

{Scrubbed}

[Don Blake]

89. All of the rocks from the local graveyard have shot into the sky. All of the people buried in the graveyard have returned to life. Investigate.

[No brains]

Caledmote doesn't sound as interesting, and I didn't think the table would get it. Plus, I can't pronounce Welsh.

Iffn' yer talkin' 'bout Calaedbolg, it's pronounced somethin' akin te "Salad bowl-g".

[Kalaska'Agathas]

89. You have been accepted into a prestigious school for witches and wizards. Trouble is, you're green. Struggle for acceptance by your peers.

90. You and your disease riddled friends must survive winter in the city, struggling to pay rent, find love, express yourselves artistically, and eat. Also, better keep making those fort saves.

91. You are a party of fraudsters. Start a marching band and pocket all of the instrument money.

[OverThoughtName]

92. The local mine had to be closed due to a family of house cats that escaped down a shaft. Fix this problem and be justly rewarded!

[Randel]

92. You are all working for an extreamly evil sorcerer. According to his sources, a halfling and his party of adventurers are going to try to toss a magical ring into a volvcanoe. Your job is to stand in the volcanoe and catch the ring when it falls... or maybe seal up the volcanoe.. or install a big net. Hey, just think of something.

93. Over 20,000,000 orcish women are looking for good men who are interested in repopulating the orcish race (they are open to cross-species relationships).

94. The walking dead are invading the world. No, they aren't undead, these are actual walking dead people. Necromancers need you to capture a few for research to see how this is possible.

95. A number of attractive yet ditsy tenage schoolgirls have been found dead with bite marks in their necks and their bodies completly drained of blood. Investigate these atrocious killings!

96. The verse is getting tippy, find a way to balance it before society turns into a huge nightmare!

97. Many female adventurers are complaining that the armor merchants are cheating them by selling skimpy armor that provides inadequate protection. Male adventurers respond by saying that skimpyarmor is the only thing keeping them motivated while wading through slime infested sewers and fighting maggot-ridden tumor zombies.

98. You are helping spellcasters that took the vile spellsin Book of Vile darkness recover from their mistakes. Mostly you pick up stuff for the people who launched all their fingers at their enemies like missiles or read stuff for Detatchable Eyeball Man.

[Fox Box Socks]

You are an adventuring party captured by Neogi slavers, who use you as a suicide squad to do dangerous and impossible missions for them. The catch? The Neogi have you under mind control at all times, so the players in the game have to sit there and watch as the DM runs their characters.

Fun times, man. Fun times.

[Ravens_cry]

You are an adventuring party captured by Neogi slavers, who use you as a suicide squad to do dangerous and impossible missions for them. The catch? The Neogi have you under mind control at all times, so the players in the game have to sit there and watch as the DM runs their characters.

Fun times, man. Fun times.

Sounds like the kind of campaign the DM from DM of the Rings would run. And the players would still take it off the rails.