Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry

[byaku rai]

1657: When I cast Otto's Irresistible Dance on the BBEG, I may not make him do the Caramelldansen dance.

1658: Similarly frowned upon is the Pony Pokie.

1659: And shufflin'.

1660: ... You know what, no more music-based spells for me.

[Morithias]

1661: I am not allowed to make a paladin with a speech problem who can only say "Name. Job. Bye"

[Pyromancer999]

1662: My characters are required to wear clothes.
1663: Pranking important NPCs is no longer allowed(ex. Important male Elven ambassador woke up wearing ladies' lingerie on the table for an international ambassador meeting he was supposed to be attending for insulting my character........he deserved it. Anyways...)
1664: I cannot automatically attack Elves "just because they're prettier than me".
1665: Razing towns to the ground because someone insulted my character is a no-no.
1666: Secretly arranging for people(PCs and all) to be secretly shipped to some campaign equivalent to Siberia is no longer a hobby of my character.

[Sith_Happens]

1667. My Psion must inform his/her partner before "experimenting" with Mind Switch.

[Morithias]

1667. My Psion must inform his/her partner before "experimenting" with Mind Switch.

1667a. Using mind control for sexual experimentation is wrong, wrong, and more wrong. Even if I have real world SCIENCE to back up how being under dominate person would make it hotter and sexier for the body.

1668. Not allowed to abuse summon monster spells when I have the vow of peace.

[Chookster]

1668: Using three bluff checks and a hug to defeat the DM's planned boss fight while not illegal, is heavily frowned upon.

1669: Critting an insight check on a plot relevant evil npc will make the DM cry

1670: Sexually dominating that npc and convincing him to provide the party with a fully crewed yacht after that WILL result in the complet and utter desruction of the yacht.

[Antonok]

1668: Using three bluff checks and a hug to defeat the DM's planned boss fight while not illegal, is heavily frowned upon.

1668A: Same goes with using Diplomacy and Profession (Psychiatrist).

1671: I cannot use Profession (Psychiatrist) to uncover the BBEG's hidden emotional problems just to make him cry.

1672: I am no longer allowed to make a character named Sigheil Fraud. I will get smacked by my group.

1672A: Doubly so if one of them happens to be German.

[byaku rai]

1673: I may not take advantage of Invisibility to infiltrate locker rooms.

1673A: Groping counts as an attack action, and makes me visible immediately.

[Chookster]

1674: playing a character who's controlled by a new dominant personality every time i roll a one while interesting can cause a great deal of annoyance if two of those personalities are overwhelming coward and complete and total pacifist

[Necroticplague]

1673: I may not take advantage of Invisibility to infiltrate locker rooms.

1673A: Groping counts as an attack action, and makes me visible immediately.

That's why you use Greater Invisibility or HiPS.

[byaku rai]

That's why you use Greater Invisibility or HiPS.

If you're high enough level for that, you can just use Divination magic to do all that stuff.

[boomwolf]

1674: playing a character who's controlled by a new dominant personality every time i roll a one while interesting can cause a great deal of annoyance if two of those personalities are overwhelming coward and complete and total pacifist

1674a: Split personality is not allowed if any of them wants to destroy the world.
1674b: Its even worse if one of the split personalities has a split personality.

[Sgt. Cookie]

1674a1: Destroying half of Australia, however, is perfectly acceptable.

1675: "Blame it on the endorphin rush" is not a get out clause.

1675a: "The endorphin rush is wearing off" is also not a valid way to end a rage.

[BlackestOfMages]

1676: mass invisibility was not designed for use in pranks, and I may not make part of a town invisible for a laugh.
1676a: Nor in nightmare terrain.
1676b: I may not use sculpt spell and mass invisibility a few times over to make everyone in a sleeping city invisible.
1676c: Especially not allowed to pick up a few followers and some epic to make everyone in the world who's not me Permenantly Invisible
1677: Being able to make the cliff I'm stood on invisible does not mean I can deny the laws of physics.
1678: Flight/wall of force on an invisibily-obbsessed character cannot be used to convince other PCs to run off cliffs...

[boomwolf]

1674a1a: Conditioning that you set up a plan so the kangaroos will be saved.

[white rider]

1679: My lich cannot split his phylactery in seven
1679b: Said pieces cannot be enchanted to be invulnerable to all attack except for basilisk venom
1679c: I may not play DM within one month of reading harry potter

[byaku rai]

1674a1b: As long as it's the half with the spiders.

[Doorhandle]

1673: I may not take advantage of Invisibility to infiltrate locker rooms.

1673A: Groping counts as an attack action, and makes me visible immediately.

1673B: While obviously distracting, if I grope the nubile female caster to trigger a concentration check, it will result in me being the main target of the spell.

[Ksheep]

1680: Not allowed to use PaO to make hundreds of cubic feet of lead into gold permanently.
1680b: Not allowed to use PaO to make hundreds of cubic feet of copper into gold or platinum.
1680c: Not allowed to use PaO in the City of Brass to turn sections of it into the City of Mercury, the City of Lead, the City of Uranium, or any other such thing.

[Aidan305]

1680: Not allowed to use PaO to make hundreds of cubic feet of lead into gold permanently.
1680b: Not allowed to use PaO to make hundreds of cubic feet of copper into gold or platinum.
1680c: Not allowed to use PaO in the City of Brass to turn sections of it into the City of Mercury, the City of Lead, the City of Uranium, or any other such thing.

By the RAW, you can't do that anyway.

This spell cannot create material of great intrinsic value, such as copper, silver, gems, silk, gold, platinum, mithral, or adamantine.

[Traab]

By the RAW, you can't do that anyway.

Ah, but what if you pick a metal without great intrinsic value in the economy of that world? Transforming it into francium or uranium technically wouldnt be breaking that rule.

[Ksheep]

By the RAW, you can't do that anyway.

Details…

However, that WOULD still leave 1680c available… unless you count mercury or lead as more valuable than brass…

EDIT: Also, how would you define "Intrinsic value"? Would you still be allowed to turn waste lead from a mining operation into useful iron? Turn rusty items into non-rusty ones? Would it be ANY increase in value, or just anything that is above a certain value is a no-no… even if the original material is worth more?

[Alabenson]

1681: The party motto is not "fireball first, speak with dead later".
1681b: Even if that would be appropriate for our characters.
1682: I may not create a warblade named Maxwell who wields a silvered greathammer.
1683: Nor may I create a character whose primary mode of transportation is a gnomish submersible that has been painted yellow.
1683b: Doubly so for a non-aquatic campaign.

[Randomguy]

1683c. On the other hand, a high level wizard crafting an airship is both acceptable and awesome.
1683d. Using the airship to take out a dungeon revokes my airship privileges.

1684. My default solution for getting rid of an enemy is not teleporting them to Australia. Even if I use that spell that redirects a teleport spell into a desert.

[Feddlefew]

1685. I am limited to 12 oz of mountain dew per session.

[Aidan305]

1686: I am no longer allowed to roast marshmallows over Cthugha.

[byaku rai]

1682: I may not create a warblade named Maxwell who wields a silvered greathammer.
1683: Nor may I create a character whose primary mode of transportation is a gnomish submersible that has been painted yellow.

... You win the thread.

[noparlpf]

1685. I am limited to 12 oz of mountain dew per session.

1685b: I am limited to 8 oz of any liquid per session. Constantly getting up to use the toilet interrupts play.

[Chookster]

1687: wild shape is not my solution to every problem, even if it does solve all of them

[boomwolf]

1682: I may not create a warblade named Maxwell who wields a silvered greathammer.

beat you to it.

1605: Said bard will neither be named "Maxwell Edison"

1605a: Especially if he focuses on debuffing bardic music...