What if Real Life worked by RAW?

[hamishspence]

Most people are actually neutral, whatever they may think. You know that phenomenon (I forget what they call it) where people will stand by and watch someone getting beat up but won't step in (either to help the victim or the assailant)? That's a neutral trait (on the good-evil axis). (I could give other examples, but that would take a long time.) Likewise, most people aren't strongly chaotic or lawful, but somewhere in between. Sure, plenty of people do community service or the like, but most of those people aren't devoted enough to actually qualify as good. Maybe neutral good at best.

"Good" means "makes personal sacrifices to help strangers" but a good person might not be especially physically brave.

Similarly "hurting and oppressing others" is common enough, that I would say evil alignment is not significantly less common than Neutral alignment.

So while I'd agree with "neutral is the most typical alignment" I am a bit more dubious about "most people are Neutral".

[NNescio]

Every goverment position is filled with Rouges and Bards.

misspelling! thog rage!

I've heard that it can be a very overpowdered class.

[Eldan]

I would put on a blindfold and throw myself at the ground repeatedly until I failed my 50% miss chance for blindness and gained the ability of Dentian flight.

I'm not sure you can throw yourself. Use Fling Ally instead and teach your children to fly.

[Username_too_lo]

Mr Smith, I have some news.

Oh, God, is it my son?

I'm afraid that the wounds he sustained took him below 0 Hit Points, and he failed his Fortitude Save.

No! My Boy!

There was, however, a Druid on hand, who had fortuitously memorised an appropriate spell this morning.

You mean, he was raised from the dead?

Ehh, not exactly.

[Kobold enters] DADDYY!!

Agh! Kill it! I don't care if it's below my CR and I don't get any xp; kill it with fire!

[Soranar]

History would be really complicated.

-Caesar would never have conquered Gaul. (You really think a bunch of fighters could handle barbarians led by druids?).

-Egyptian pharaoh/demigods might still be around...

-Neanderthals might still be around...

-The crusades would have been EPIC (dimension door, teleport, World War 1 happened before the first millenium).

-most men, and some women, would plug their ears and kill every last bard on earth (death to diplomancers would be a rallying call)

-AMF would be mandatory in any government building

[Necroticplague]

History would be really complicated.

-Egyptian pharaoh/demigods might still be around...

-AMF would be mandatory in any government building

-They are, and they can give you the ability to turn into a scorpion.

-To counteract this, terrorist organization would be a large cooperation of archivists, wizards, and StP erudites working to get every spell as a power from all lists.

[Eldan]

-They are, and they can give you the ability to turn into a scorpion.

-To counteract this, terrorist organizations would be a large cooperation of archivists, wizards, and StP erudites working to get every spell as a power from all lists.

We prefer the term science activist, Sir!

[shadmere]

Can't seem to find online. . . what does RHD mean?

[noparlpf]

Can't seem to find online. . . what does RHD mean?

I assumed it was racial hit dice. (I could be wrong. I guessed.)

[Socratov]

wishes would be fulfilled, universities and schools would just be granting you ranks in knowledge skills, books would be read more efficiently, and by permanenciïng tongues on everyone everyone would understand all languages. Also factotums and chameleons would be insanely overpowered (as would indeed diplomacy and the glibness spell)

[OracleofWuffing]

-most men, and some women, would plug their ears and kill every last bard on earth (death to diplomancers would be a rallying call)

Don't forget that Diplomancers can also snag that prestige class that lets you switch a different skill check for a perform check (it is the basis of the Jumplomancer, one of the most beholden of Diplomancers), so plugging your ears effectively does nothing to protect you.

HE IS MOVING SILENTLY, LET US PROCLAIM HIM OUR NEW GOD!

[Necroticplague]

Interesting fact: space in dnd is non-euclidean. The rules support this in 3.x, and it's explicitly stated in 4e. If you go by dnd's "square=circle" logic, then pi=4, and the square root of 2=1 (since the distance corner to corner of a circle is the same as its side.

[noparlpf]

Interesting fact: space in dnd is non-euclidean. The rules support this in 3.x, and it's explicitly stated in 4e. If you go by dnd's "square=circle" logic, then pi=4, and the square root of 2=1 (since the distance corner to corner of a circle is the same as its side.

@_@

Oh dear.

While simpler, that definitely messes up a lot of things.

[Flame of Anor]

-Caesar would never have conquered Gaul. (You really think a bunch of fighters could handle barbarians led by druids?).

Nah, man, the legionaries were totally Crusaders.

[Honest Tiefling]

75% of historians and archaeologists are researching what classes people were in the past. 95% of papers published are regarding who could have kicked whose butt and who was very badly optimized.

[Hiro Protagonest]

Nah, man, the legionaries were totally Crusaders.

Only the centurions. The other legionaries were fighters, which has been lowered to NPC status and the warrior class is gone entirely.

The Gauls were warblades, or fighters who put at least one feat into martial study. And at level 1, Stone Bones is better than Steely Resolve. Plus Steel Wind helped take down multiple enemies. Sadly, the Gauls had a habit of using Steely Strike, leaving them vulnerable to the enemy.

Edit: @^: Guess I'm a historian than.

[NikitaDarkstar]

Considering my heritage I'd definitely be a barbarian. (What? Viking descendant for the win. XD) Obviously I'd also invested in becoming literate.

As for the house cats, of course they wouldn't be killed on sight, they'd be trained to deal with those plagues of rats and other vermin. Since by raw rats travel in groups of 10-100, which is far worse for a commoner than a cat.

No one would ever make fun of badgers with the badger song again.

Cat ladies would quickly be countered by dog breeders. (By raw the cat might actually be better to hit yes, but it does 1d2-4 claw dmg and 1d3-4 bite damage. The dog while not being as good at hitting can actually do damage (1d4+1 bite dmg.))

[Flickerdart]

Considering my heritage I'd definitely be a barbarian. (What? Viking descendant for the win. XD) Obviously I'd also invested in becoming literate.

As for the house cats, of course they wouldn't be killed on sight, they'd be trained to deal with those plagues of rats and other vermin. Since by raw rats travel in groups of 10-100, which is far worse for a commoner than a cat.

No one would ever make fun of badgers with the badger song again.

Cat ladies would quickly be countered by dog breeders. (By raw the cat might actually be better to hit yes, but it does 1d2-4 claw dmg and 1d3-4 bite damage. The dog while not being as good at hitting can actually do damage (1d4+1 bite dmg.))

Dogs have twice a cat's CR, so two cats are equal to one dog. The dog does an average of 3.5 damage with its bite - a cat does 3 damage, and there's two of them, and they're more likely to land hits.

[OracleofWuffing]

75% of historians and archaeologists are researching what classes people were in the past. 95% of papers published are regarding who could have kicked whose butt and who was very badly optimized.

You know, there's also going to be a significant percentage of Diamond Barons who have nothing better to do than True Resurrect the parties involved to test these publications.

There's also an implied quest hook in Manual of the Planes regarding flying around the Temporal Energy Plane fast enough to reverse the flow of time, and while the text says it's unproven, that doesn't exactly mean no.

[NikitaDarkstar]

Dogs have twice a cat's CR, so two cats are equal to one dog. The dog does an average of 3.5 damage with its bite - a cat does 3 damage, and there's two of them, and they're more likely to land hits.

Yet cats, by RAW are either solitary (or domesticated), dogs are solitary or packs (5-12). It's more likely that you have multiple dogs than cats, unless you have some sort of handler for them, and then the crazy cat lady still needs to have twice as many cats than the dog breeder dogs. And two cats needs to hit a dog with all three of their attacks to take one dog down. One dog can kill a cat in one attack. (A cat has an average of 2 hp, a dog does an average of 3 dmg.)

Mans best friend continues to be mans best friend. ;) (And we might want to stop here, or move to another thread or we'll end up derailing this one... really, the only reasons cats are so feared by commoners is because they would attack a commoner.. a dog is loyal! :P)

[NNescio]

You know, there's also going to be a significant percentage of Diamond Barons who have nothing better to do than True Resurrect the parties involved to test these publications.

There's also an implied quest hook in Manual of the Planes regarding flying around the Temporal Energy Plane fast enough to reverse the flow of time, and while the text says it's unproven, that doesn't exactly mean no.

True Resurrection can't bring back people who have died of old age.

Of course, this is less clear on people who have died of other causes in the far past, but it should be kosher since they don't technically age while dead.

[Frozen_Feet]

If you're sufficiently knowledgeable and intelligent, you can recall whole lifestory of a priorly unknown person from the top of your hat. Due to the aforementioned way old people become wiser as they age, this means not only will your parents and teachers be absurdly good at recalling all the embarrassing things you did, they become better at it.

... wait... this doesn't sound too unlike the norm after all.

Oh, and via application of magic, we can get correct answer to the question "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound?".

[Necroticplague]

Murders will never be mystery as long as any of the following are true, thanks to divination:
1:People never knew/suspected it took place.
2. Their isn't an urban legend about it.
3:The head is still intact ( it can come seperate from body).
4.Their are any rocks, plants, or anything natural.
5:A diety could have seen it.

[Honest Tiefling]

If you're sufficiently knowledgeable and intelligent, you can recall whole lifestory of a priorly unknown person from the top of your hat. Due to the aforementioned way old people become wiser as they age, this means not only will your parents and teachers be absurdly good at recalling all the embarrassing things you did, they become better at it.

That, or they'll just use their charisma increases to make stuff up and pretend its true and get others to believe it.

[noparlpf]

True Resurrection can't bring back people who have died of old age.

Of course, this is less clear on people who have died of other causes in the far past, but it should be kosher since they don't technically age while dead.

No, but you can use Reincarnate or Last Breath (druid spells). They give you a "young adult" body. If you want to live forever, just commit suicide with a druid standing by and have them use Last Breath. If you want to be human again, go find someone to cast Miracle on you to get you back to normal (that shouldn't be out of line with the power level of Miracle).

[NNescio]

No, but you can use Reincarnate or Last Breath (druid spells). They give you a "young adult" body. If you want to live forever, just commit suicide with a druid standing by and have them use Last Breath. If you want to be human again, go find someone to cast Miracle on you to get you back to normal (that shouldn't be out of line with the power level of Miracle).

Still won't work on people who have already died of old age.

Now, I do agree that this is probably the most cost-effective way to extend your lifespan, but that's not the original issue (resurrecting dead people from the past.)

[Vacant]

Oh man would I ever take levels of druid so hard I can't even punctuate how hard I would do it

[noparlpf]

Still won't work on people who have already died of old age.

Now, I do agree that this is probably the most cost-effective way to extend your lifespan, but that's not the original issue (resurrecting dead people from the past.)

True.

What are the limits on Revenance (Spell Compendium)? I think it might only be rounds per level after death...

Wish or Miracle. It only costs a bunch of XP.

[Hiro Protagonest]

Still won't work on people who have already died of old age.

Now, I do agree that this is probably the most cost-effective way to extend your lifespan, but that's not the original issue (resurrecting dead people from the past.)

Did you read Reincarnation's description? It says it can brung back even people who died of old age.

[NNescio]

Did you read Reincarnation's description? It says it can brung back even people who died of old age.

You mean this part?

A creature that has been turned into an undead creature or killed by a death effect can’t be returned to life by this spell. Constructs, elementals, outsiders, and undead creatures can’t be reincarnated. The spell cannot bring back a creature who has died of old age.