My Little Pony XIX: I Emptied Your Thread

[Aotrs Commander]

Hm. I'm sorry, Commodore Bleakbane, but given the evidence...

I don't think you qualify as the most sane of us any more. I'm going to have to start the motion remove your Sanity of Ponythread status.

What do you mean, I'm still compartively san-

Hello Miss Lix.

Waaaargh!

*snerk*

*punches out LT Cmdr Hopereaver*

Oh, fine.

It's not like my Sanitator worked anyhow...

You could make a killing at nursing homes.

... That was bad. I'm bad and I should feel bad.

Pfffttt-Bwahahahahaha!

Aww, anything we can do to help?

The first person suggesting anything involving delivering a gift-wrapped Commadore to Lixie gets a faceful of hazardously cute pony! I'll do it, I swear I will!

[tonberrian]

The first person suggesting anything involving delivering a gift-wrapped Commadore to Lixie gets a faceful of hazardously cute pony! I'll do it, I swear I will!

We should gift-wrap the Commadore and send him to Lixie!

[Titanium Fox]

We should gift-wrap the Commadore and send him to Lixie!

I second this notion! Think of the possibilities!

I'm gonna die, aren't I?

[TheAmishPirate]

For RD, I saw her as a girl the second she opened her mouth because, well, I had an old friend who sounded just like her. Seriously, it's kinda creepy.

That, and I was still begrudgingly watching the ponies at that point, and was assuming everything was girly and frou frou forever.

(Heh, "frou frou forever" is fun to say )


What's this? Who are we gift wrapping? The Pink One likes gift-givings! We should totally do it you guys! Let's have a gift-wrapping party! Yay!

[tonberrian]

(Heh, "frou frou forever" is fun to say )

What would happen in a "Frou Frou Forever" fic?

[Titanium Fox]

Nah, don't worry about it. I'm sure any computer I could have had would have suffered similarly. My computers tend to be rode hard and left broken.

Besides, I'm old enough to have just myself to blame. And I'd have a computer if I didn't do that six month stretch of LARPing. Making those weapons costs a bundle.

Yeah. But I mean, I have 16 different options on how to post pony related materials, and you and Brazen only have one between both of you. I've been tempted to start a charity organization to give computers to families who's people outnumbers computers for about a year now.

I'm not kidding. I'm that technologically addicted. I see it as cruel and unusual if everyone in a household doesn't have an individual computer.

A little bit, yeah.
Where your priorities need to lie is in branching out your knowledge. Sure, a plague zombie comes along and you're ace, but what happens when a juju zombie comes along? Head shots don't work, and bites don't turn you. Are churches safe havens? Do you need to do some sort of movie plot thing to put the dead to rest?

I've found most nerds are dangerously underknowledgeable when it comesto supernatural zombies.

I... Um... Have some revisions to my ZRP (Zombie Response Plan) to make...

[Aotrs Commander]

We should gift-wrap the Commadore and send him to Lixie!

I second this notion! Think of the possibilities!

I'm gonna die, aren't I?

What's this? Who are we gift wrapping? The Pink One likes gift-givings! We should totally do it you guys! Let's have a gift-wrapping party! Yay!

Right!

Right!

Don't say I didn't warn you!

Eat cavity-exploding cuteness, ponythread!

Mwahahahahahaha!

Spoiler

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*retreats to meditation chamber to avoid cutenitude fallout*

[Brazen Shield]

I am so going to do something unpleasent to you. I don't know what, or when, but at some unspecified point in the future, and it'll be really unpleasent, and you'll be like, "damn, that was unpleasent, now I really wish I hadn't brought this upon myself by arousing the ire of the mighty Commadore Bleakbane, who's rocket launcher I am not fit to clean" (I'm paraphrasing obviously).

So there.

Oh! I'm so sorry Mr. Bleaklorn! I didn't mean to-- Wait. "Bleaklorn".... Bleak... What was your name again? It is Bleaklorn right?

[Lix Lorn]

Aww, anything we can do to help? nagging feeling that I'm responsible...

Depends; how do you feel about assassination? You're not at all, why would you be?

The first person suggesting anything involving delivering a gift-wrapped Commadore to Lixie gets a faceful of hazardously cute pony! I'll do it, I swear I will!

...really now, that's silly. If you ACTUALLY didn't want them to do it, you wouldn't use a threat you knew they'd enjoy. Basic psychology tells me you WANT to be gift wrapped and sent to me.

Oh! I'm so sorry Mr. Bleaklorn! I didn't mean to-- Wait. "Bleaklorn".... Bleak... What was your name again? It is Bleaklorn right?

Well played.

[TheAmishPirate]

Right!

Right!

Don't say I didn't warn you!

Eat cavity-exploding cuteness, ponythread!

Mwahahahahahaha!

Spoiler

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-snip-

*retreats to meditation chamber to avoid cutenitude fallout*

Oh, is this what we're doing now? That little weak mess is your opening shot?

OH IT'S ON.

Spoiler

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Your move.

[tonberrian]

Oh, is this what we're doing now? That little weak mess is your opening shot?

OH IT'S ON.

Spoiler

Show

-snip-

Sir, I'm going to have to cite you for excessive cuteness in an unmarked zone.

[Brazen Shield]

Yeah. But I mean, I have 16 different options on how to post pony related materials, and you and Brazen only have one between both of you. I've been tempted to start a charity organization to give computers to families who's people outnumbers computers for about a year now.

Hey, don't let him fool you. We have four laptops (one is broken, one is half broken but still works, one is half broken but doesn't connect to the internet and one is brand spanking new. (I <3 you tablet PC))

I tried to give him a log-in and he said no. T_T

He just wants to to buy him a new one >>

[Aotrs Commander]

Oh! I'm so sorry Mr. Bleaklorn! I didn't mean to-- Wait. "Bleaklorn".... Bleak... What was your name again? It is Bleaklorn right?

*twitch*

*twitch*

Leave it sir, it's not worth it.

Depends; how do you feel about assassination?

Huh...Maybe the Aotrs can help after all...

...really now, that's silly. If you ACTUALLY didn't want them to do it, you wouldn't use a threat you knew they'd enjoy. Basic psychology tells me you WANT to be gift wrapped and sent to me.

What! No! That- But I- And they- They-

Aaaaaarrrgh!

Damn you, everything! Nothing makes sense anymore!!!!

Sir, getting paranoid. It's not helping. Now, go on, you need to meditate, you tenuous grip on sanity is fading.

But I can't leave! The purple alien space-wombat in the corner won't let m-

...

Okay, fair point. Really going to meditate now.

[Zevox]

It's because internet was flooded with Fluttermale quote clips making it first contac/impression of FiM to many.

Ah, that makes a little more sense.

Feminine?

I have to disagree here, the delivery (and especially lines) of the text tend to be even worse than RD's at times. And her visual cues that have nothing feminine in the don't help.

Not necessarily feminine per se, but distinctly female in sound nonetheless. It's.... actually, I'm not sure what the word would be - I'm pretty bad at describing sounds. Suffice to say I couldn't see a male character with Applejack's voice. I could see one with Rainbow's.

I wasn't sure at first, myself. The first episode really established her girliness. In fact, rainbow dash is the second girliest of the Mane Six, it's just over-shadowed by her athleticism!

"Girliness?" Rainbow Dash is the biggest tomboy in the show. I'd put her as the least feminine in the group, followed very closely by Applejack, then much further back by Twilight, who can be somewhat girly, but not as much so as the other three. Not sure I could decide between Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinky for the most feminine - maybe Fluttershy > Rarity > Pinky? Eh, no, still hesitant.

Really can't see how the first episode showed her as girly at all either - her scene there showed her as laid-back and cocky about her abilities ("Ten. Seconds. Flat."), not attributes I'd describe as "girly."

Zevox

[TheAmishPirate]

Sir, I'm going to have to cite you for excessive cuteness in an unmarked zone.

Mannn, now I need to go through the trouble of not paying legal fines again. Botheration!

The theme for this week's Writer's Training Ground is "Write a cliche story". The examples they have are:

1) RD loses her wings, permanent or otherwise.
2) Twilight casts a spell, it goes wrong.
3) Sad Luna is sad.
(Not bashing any of the ideas, cliches are not inherently bad)

Any other that the thread can think of? Apart from "Characters meet, instantly fall in love", I'm stumped. Probably because I don't read a lot of fanfics, and the ones I do read are carefully chosen.

[SiuiS]

Huh, now that's strange. Applejack's voice definitely sounds female to me, and was one big reason I was never mistook her for a guy in spite of being the other tomboyish character of the group. For Rainbow though her voice strikes me as being about as masculine as a female voice can get, to the point where, as I said, it made me think she was male for a few episodes.


I don't follow.

Zevox

I agree. And for those confused; I'm related to southerners. So for me, picking out gender in the voice is akin to how people in brittain can determine regional accents, when Scottish, English and Irish all sound like brittish accents to most Americans. It's a matter of familiarity.

Curious.
What were you trying to ask?

I actually can't remember. Something about ... I think I was asking who's posting, as Braz read something aloud. I tried to ask "was that the lich" and got tongue tied. This was immediately after debating how to pronounce "Lichxie" too.

She doesn't quite remember what I was asking either; we only recall me stumbling for a couple minutes.

I saw this. and i dawwloled.
I think i just going to keep posting even though im sure not many people read or even SEE what i post. Oh well!

Hey, don't be like that. If we didn't pay attention to you, why would I have tries to point out the guy from the Trixie Selling Ponification image stole your cutie mark but didn't do as good of a job?

Yay! I'm the token male! I'm also apparently the token human!
*is feeling more and more appropriate with the Element of Not Being Significant Enough to be an Element*

Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step back and stop being so significant to the thread fanbase. You are in violation of Elements code 4-13-aught-3.

What do you mean, I'm still compartively san-

Hello Miss Lix.

Waaaargh!

*snerk*

*punches out LT Cmdr Hopereaver*

Oh, fine.

It's not like my Sanitator worked anyhow...

I mean anybody who actively avoids Lix Lorn has a tenuous grasp on sanity at best.

Although I liked the sanitator idea. It should just be more... Produced that way on purpose, as opposed to using 100 mph tape for 1000 mph rockets.

Pfffttt-Bwahahahahaha!

Thank you, thank you. Here til Armageddon. Try the drinks!

The first person suggesting anything involving delivering a gift-wrapped Commadore to Lixie gets a faceful of hazardously cute pony! I'll do it, I swear I will!

That is the single worst threat to make, mate. Remember the verren, or whatever the evil humans from BoVD are? You've fallen into their trap. You forget; half the stuff that's murder to you, we enjoy.

Oh, is this what we're doing now? That little weak mess is your opening shot?

OH IT'S ON.

Spoiler

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Your move.

That is the cutest filly picture in forever.
Oddly enough though, it doesn't look much like trixie...

Huh. Trixie is no longer auto-capitalized. This thing is terrible with names.

-

Lix; the trouble is by the time I get the equipment and then get to the target country, I'd probably consider thetargt a person and feel bad about doing it. I slide up and down the sociopathy scale though, so ya never know.

And extrapolation; I missed answering you several times due to 502 errors, and also based on some of your responses. But I'm paranoid/insecure; I worry quite often about how I'm affecting the ponyfolk.

Oh! And you seemed so torn up over the "and Lix was a gryphon" joke. I told you guys I take the sad pony faces seriously...

[Titanium Fox]

Right!

Right!

Don't say I didn't warn you!

Eat cavity-exploding cuteness, ponythread!

Mwahahahahahaha!

Spoiler

Show

*retreats to meditation chamber to avoid cutenitude fallout*

Oh, is this what we're doing now? That little weak mess is your opening shot?

OH IT'S ON.

Spoiler

Show

Your move.

These were both cute enough that I legitimately stared and my mind stop doing anything except for sending endorphins about my body. For over a minute. Each. Jesus Christ. You literally whited me out with pleasure response. Through cute. WHAT THE HELL?!

---

Also, I really want to thank everypony for the congratulations on the college degree. I worked my flank off to pull that off, and all because someone specifically told me it couldn't be done. Heh. I guess I have a little Trixie in me after all.

But seriously, thank you everypony. It means something that anypony cared enough to say anything back to that, since it was off topic.

*Hums the "Don't you know you're all my very best friends" line from the intro*

[Thanqol]

Oh god, it's submitted! Please stop staring at me!

I will admit. This and your next response had me rolling.

So yeah, hey. How much is actual creeped-outness, and how much is for the gag?
That is kinda how I see it going though, except I'm surprised at __________'s mental strength.

It's very high on the actual creeped outness scale, BUT that's not a bad thing. The thought fascinates me as much as it repels me, like reading a good horror novel. Don't stop on my account, I want to see where those respective thoughts go!

No, the creepiest thing is inducing Stockholm syndrome by applying heated metal to your bone structure.

+1

[tonberrian]

Mannn, now I need to go through the trouble of not paying legal fines again. Botheration!

I'll expect to not see you in court on the 32^nd, then.

[SiuiS]

Hey, don't let him fool you. We have four laptops (one is broken, one is half broken but still works, one is half broken but doesn't connect to the internet and one is brand spanking new. (I <3 you tablet PC))

*I tried to give him a log-in and he said no. T_T*

He just wants to to buy him a new one >>

I want a desktop. Better all around, and if I can't take it with me, it should last longer than six months.

Huh...Maybe the Aotrs can help after all...

Yay! Everybody is happy!

"Girliness?" Rainbow Dash is the biggest tomboy in the show. I'd put her as the least feminine in the group, followed very closely by Applejack, then much further back by Twilight, who can be somewhat girly, but not as much so as the other three. Not sure I could decide between Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinky for the most feminine - maybe Fluttershy > Rarity > Pinky? Eh, no, still hesitant.*

Really can't see how the first episode showed her as girly at all either - her scene there showed her as laid-back and cocky about her abilities ("Ten. Seconds. Flat."), not attributes I'd describe as "girly."

Zevox

Well, let's see.
Rainbow Dash enjoys fashion shows.
Her third line is a flirty giggle.
Her first meeting with Twilight Sparkle just smacks of "I'm trying to find out if you like girls because I like girls too" to me. Granted, that's not necessarily a point in favor of girly.
When pressured, her response is to cower and near-cry, rather than get angry (typically "feminine" trait).
Has no qualms about cleaning up right purdy despite being disheveled (sign of laziness rather than masculinity)

Where our only indications of "masculine" are
Gruff voice (actually neutral)
Competetive (actually neutral)
No patience for antics (actually neutral)
Gets bitchy at fluttershy for not being willing to fly (neutral, but I personally see it more often with women)

I see Rainbow Dash as a purposeful subversion of standard butch tropes; she seems to me, if anything, as either a straight gal or a "lipstick" lesbian.

Mannn, now I need to go through the trouble of not paying legal fines again. Botheration!

The theme for this week's Writer's Training Ground is "Write a cliche story". The examples they have are:

1) RD loses her wings, permanent or otherwise.
2) Twilight casts a spell, it goes wrong.
3) Sad Luna is sad.
(Not bashing any of the ideas, cliches are not inherently bad)

Any other that the thread can think of? Apart from "Characters meet, instantly fall in love", I'm stumped. Probably because I don't read a lot of fanfics, and the ones I do read are carefully chosen.

Ooh! Ooh!

Do a story involving trixie, twilight, and one of the princesses magically having a foal!

It will be like Allanis morisette being god; it's only ironic because it's ironic. Your story would only be a cliche because it's a cliche; a closed loop!

[Thanqol]

Mannn, now I need to go through the trouble of not paying legal fines again. Botheration!

The theme for this week's Writer's Training Ground is "Write a cliche story". The examples they have are:

1) RD loses her wings, permanent or otherwise.
2) Twilight casts a spell, it goes wrong.
3) Sad Luna is sad.
(Not bashing any of the ideas, cliches are not inherently bad)

Any other that the thread can think of? Apart from "Characters meet, instantly fall in love", I'm stumped. Probably because I don't read a lot of fanfics, and the ones I do read are carefully chosen.

I was writing stories about Rainbow Dash losing her wings before it was cool!

[EsperDerek]

Excerpt #3:

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She was wrong, you know.

W-What?

That day, in the library. I can exist in a heart filled with love. Do you know why?

Be...because...all you've ever wanted...was love...

That's right, my dear little foal...you're so much like me, you know...

N-No! I'm not, I'm not!

Oh? Then what is your greatest fear, then? What makes your blood run cold just thinking about?

A tortured pause.

To...to be alone...

A quiet admission.

To be alone. The loss of your friends through your own actions, who you were, or the actions of others. The loss of your family, through sickness and death. Perhaps it is because you have been surrounded by so many ponies, perhaps because of who your parents are, but your greatest, deepest fear...is to be alone. Just like me.

A triumphant response.

The younger one fell silent, full of doubt and turmoil. The ancient one pressed on.

Did you never suspect? You're a smart pony, as smart as your mother. Did you never realize?

Realize...realize what...

She lied, played dumb, but it was a weak denial, sounding hollow, even to herself.

Your figure, your grace, your darkness around cutie mark. Those could never have come from any normal pony. You surely must have noticed.

I just...I just thought...maybe...Momma...

In a way, she did, without her realizing. And through her, I am here, with you. I will keep you from being alone, keep them from hurting you, keep them from leaving you. Just like they did to me.

I just...I just...

Shh...be calm. For now, you can sleep. I will protect you. I will love you. Through you, now, I never will be alone...

Her world faded into night.

[Bayonet Priest]

Excerpt #3:

Spoiler

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She was wrong, you know.

W-What?

That day, in the library. I can exist in a heart filled with love. Do you know why?

Be...because...all you've ever wanted...was love...

That's right, my dear little foal...you're so much like me, you know...

N-No! I'm not, I'm not!

Oh? Then what is your greatest fear, then? What makes your blood run cold just thinking about?

A tortured pause.

To...to be alone...

A quiet admission.

To be alone. The loss of your friends through your own actions, who you were, or the actions of others. The loss of your family, through sickness and death. Perhaps it is because you have been surrounded by so many ponies, perhaps because of who your parents are, but your greatest, deepest fear...is to be alone. Just like me.

A triumphant response.

The younger one fell silent, full of doubt and turmoil. The ancient one pressed on.

Did you never suspect? You're a smart pony, as smart as your mother. Did you never realize?

Realize...realize what...

She lied, played dumb, but it was a weak denial, sounding hollow, even to herself.

Your figure, your grace, your darkness around cutie mark. Those could never have come from any normal pony. You surely must have noticed.

I just...I just thought...maybe...Momma...

In a way, she did, without her realizing. And through her, I am here, with you. I will keep you from being alone, keep them from hurting you, keep them from leaving you. Just like they did to me.

I just...I just...

Shh...be calm. For now, you can sleep. I will protect you. I will love you. Through you, now, I never will be alone...

Her world faded into night.

I'm not entirely sure what to say about this other than I want more...

Edit: Actually I do have something to say, at first I was just sort of absent mindedly reading this until I saw you make reference to what was probably the most touching moment in any of your stories that I read. That certainly got my attention. What is this exactly? Is this just some thread ponysanity or is something more going on here?

[InkwellPony]

Excerpt #3:

Spoiler

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She was wrong, you know.

W-What?

That day, in the library. I can exist in a heart filled with love. Do you know why?

Be...because...all you've ever wanted...was love...

That's right, my dear little foal...you're so much like me, you know...

N-No! I'm not, I'm not!

Oh? Then what is your greatest fear, then? What makes your blood run cold just thinking about?

A tortured pause.

To...to be alone...

A quiet admission.

To be alone. The loss of your friends through your own actions, who you were, or the actions of others. The loss of your family, through sickness and death. Perhaps it is because you have been surrounded by so many ponies, perhaps because of who your parents are, but your greatest, deepest fear...is to be alone. Just like me.

A triumphant response.

The younger one fell silent, full of doubt and turmoil. The ancient one pressed on.

Did you never suspect? You're a smart pony, as smart as your mother. Did you never realize?

Realize...realize what...

She lied, played dumb, but it was a weak denial, sounding hollow, even to herself.

Your figure, your grace, your darkness around cutie mark. Those could never have come from any normal pony. You surely must have noticed.

I just...I just thought...maybe...Momma...

In a way, she did, without her realizing. And through her, I am here, with you. I will keep you from being alone, keep them from hurting you, keep them from leaving you. Just like they did to me.

I just...I just...

Shh...be calm. For now, you can sleep. I will protect you. I will love you. Through you, now, I never will be alone...

Her world faded into night.

And of course, the ending of the story! ^^ Don't open it unless you want spoiling spoilers!

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* Nightmare Moon cackles triumphantly! "Hah! Now I shall make the night last for... ev... urrrrr..." She pauses, looking up at Celestia and Luna. "Huh... Maybe I shoulda waited until Midnight was a little older before doing this. No matter! I shall make the night last-"

* Luna baps Nightmare Moon on the nose. "Bad girl!"

* Nightmare Moon rubs her nose. "Hey! You can't do that to me! I'm-"

* Luna humphs. "I know exactly who you are. And you're going to sit in the corner until you learn to share your body!"

* Nightmare Moon glares back. "But-"

* Luna returns the glare. "No buts! Or do you want me to get Aunt Fluttershy?"

* Nightmare Moon pauses, and then sulks off into the corner. "I never get to have any fun..."

I know this is how it ends, because Pinkie Pie told me so! -(Cackles as he's carted away in a straight jacket)-

[darthbobcat]

Oh? Interesting. I was never planning on spamming anything, just making talk and responding to comments. Then again, it's good to know so that we don't intentionally try to do it a second time.

Still, how long did the previous thread last? I'm reading 7/31/15:54 to 8/4/12:31, for just shy of four days total. I think that broke our last record by... only one day?


I do believe others thought the same way, although I don't think I ever made the mistake myself. She always seemed like a girl to me. Ah well.

Note that some people started the series with Bridle Gossip, and so first thought that Fluttershy was the token guy in the cast.

Yo. That's me. Fortunately, I started from the pilot, so I had that impression from the Pinkie Pie Collection that she was a SEVERELY bishounen dude.

Also yay, I'm back. I have this bad habit of missing the dawn of threads.

@ SiuiS: Wow, I guess it's good we failed.

RE Rainbow Dash: If the cast was elementary school age, she'd totally have a guy's voice. I never thought she was anything but a boy, though.

Also, I've been here since Thread 1, I think. So I gots me seniority.

I know, I'm just putting my hipster cents in. That's really all I'm good for.

Are your hipster cents tingling?

@ Zevox: I know you don't like the crusaders, but my traditional greeting is TRADITIONAL.

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[MCerberus]

Are your hipster cents jingling?

So random edit

[Lix Lorn]

Huh...Maybe the Aotrs can help after all...

I need you to kill someone's girlfriend. :33

What! No! That- But I- And they- They-

Aaaaaarrrgh!

Damn you, everything! Nothing makes sense anymore!!!!
Sir, getting paranoid. It's not helping. Now, go on, you need to meditate, you tenuous grip on sanity is fading.

But I can't leave! The purple alien space-wombat in the corner won't let m-

...

Okay, fair point. Really going to meditate now.

I'd call your lack of coherent answer an admittance of their not being a reply: By which I mean to say, I'm right. Neener neener.

Lix; the trouble is by the time I get the equipment and then get to the target country, I'd probably consider thetargt a person and feel bad about doing it. I slide up and down the sociopathy scale though, so ya never know.

And extrapolation; I missed answering you several times due to 502 errors, and also based on some of your responses. But I'm paranoid/insecure; I worry quite often about how I'm affecting the ponyfolk.

Oh! And you seemed so torn up over the "and Lix was a gryphon" joke. I told you guys I take the sad pony faces seriously...

Now that's a shame.

Don't worry about it. If something you say actually genuinely upsets me, I'll tell you.

[Zevox]

Well, let's see.
Rainbow Dash enjoys fashion shows.

She does? I don't recall her being exactly enthusiastic for Rarity's. Granted she wasn't hesitant to have Rarity design something for her like Applejack was, but I'd attribute that to Applejack being unaccustomed to wearing anything not designed strictly for practicality.

Her third line is a flirty giggle.

*looks this up* "Flirty" is not the impression I get from that - rather just amusement at the whole situation, and Twilight's reaction to it. Which would seem more stereotypically masculine to me - she doesn't care about getting dirty or haphazardly cleaning mud off, and is amused by the reaction of someone who does, and willing to laugh about it to her face. You could even say she was being rather insensitive due the whole "outright laughs at Twilight's appearance" thing.

Her first meeting with Twilight Sparkle just smacks of "I'm trying to find out if you like girls because I like girls too" to me. Granted, that's not necessarily a point in favor of girly.

Uh, I'll take your word for that.

When pressured, her response is to cower and near-cry, rather than get angry (typically "feminine" trait).

If by "pressured" you mean when she's petrified of failing in front of a massive crowd, sure; but personally I can't see anyone getting angry as a result of that. That's just fear.

Has no qualms about cleaning up right purdy despite being disheveled (sign of laziness rather than masculinity)

Strikes me as neutral.

On a related note though, to such a degree as she cares about appearances, it's mainly because she always wants to look "cool." Which I'd call stereotypically masculine.

Where our only indications of "masculine" are
Gruff voice (actually neutral)

Yes, the voice doesn't make her masculine in personality (since it has nothing to do with her personality), it was just what caused me to actually mistake her for being male.

Competetive (actually neutral)

To the degree that she shows? Miss "I hate losing?" The one who has to be the very best, and was less willing than Applejack to take their competitions as all in good fun? No, I'd definitely call that a stereotypically masculine trait.

No patience for antics (actually neutral)

Not entirely sure what you're referring to there.

Gets bitchy at fluttershy for not being willing to fly (neutral, but I personally see it more often with women)

That seems to me more a product of general impatience, since Fluttershy was slowing them down. In any event, as you say, neutral.

Also, you forgot her general arrogance about her athletic prowess, tendency to show off, or tomboyish manner of speaking ("I'd never leave Ponyville hangin'."Somepony's gotta record my awesomeness for the history books.")

I see Rainbow Dash as a purposeful subversion of standard butch tropes; she seems to me, if anything, as either a straight gal or a "lipstick" lesbian.

Uh, right, my observations were about her personality, not sexuality. I've not spared a moment wondering about any Pony's sexuality, and I can pretty much guarantee you I never will.

Zevox

[Lix Lorn]

Ooh! Ooh!

Do a story involving trixie, twilight, and one of the princesses magically having a foal!

It will be like Allanis morisette being god; it's only ironic because it's ironic. Your story would only be a cliche because it's a cliche; a closed loop!

Oh, also
Alanis Morrissette is /best/ god.*

*Disclaimer: No offence meant to any non-fictional deities, I was referring to the film not any real religion

[darthbobcat]

Uh, right, my observations were about her personality, not sexuality. I've not spared a moment wondering about any Pony's sexuality, and I can pretty much guarantee you I never will.

I thought that. Then I realized that shipping characters who I wouldn't ever think about in X-Rated ways was interesting.

What would happen in a "Frou Frou Forever" fic?

Purple Pie, free to be herself instead of an Ice Queen, goes full girly, threatening to destroy Canterlot in a pile of ribbons, bows and doilies?

Oh, is this what we're doing now? That little weak mess is your opening shot?

OH IT'S ON.

Spoiler

Show

Your move.

That is probably the only Great and Powerful Trixie picture I have ever found cute before. Nice find!