LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

[Mutant Sheep]

And you are much too kind.

But yeah... It kinda sucks, but he deserves happiness much more than I do. I suppose that is why I write poetry though. It's a delightfully constructive way to get my feelings out.

*hug* You are amazingly nice Shiro. If I were you, I'd be swearing revenge on the girl by now. (Another reason why the people in this thread amaze me with their patience and tolerance. I suck at forgiving.)
*second hug* (You deserve happiness too Shiro. Though that you want him to be happier than you is just so painfully sweet...;)

[Mina Kobold]

I want powers too Asta!



Also, I'm single again. He got asked out by a girl he likes today, who he can actually see whenever he wants, unlike me of course, so I suppose I can't blame him. He said he didn't want to hurt either of us, I said that I would be fine, that I could handle it. I was lying, but I didn't want him to feel bad, and I wanted him to do what he wanted, not what I wanted.

So yeah... I'm quitting long-distance relationships.

*Hugs*

That is very sad, will you be all right? ;_;

I am not very good at cheering people up, but I really hope you will get better and have much more fun to look forward to. Single or not Single.

[golentan]

Something will come along, lil' shiro. I'm sorry it hurts for now.

[Astrella]

Aww, noo. ;.;

*hugs Shiro*

[Jokasti]

So yeah... I'm quitting long-distance relationships.

Dang. Get on aim sometime, fool.

[Viera Champion]

Dang. Get on aim sometime, fool.

Of course I always have my lovely Jo to talk to. <3

Thank you all so much for your words of support. It was a good four months. That's all I could ever ask for.

[Lix Lorn]

But yeah... It kinda sucks, but he deserves happiness much more than I do.

(whaps head gently)
bad shiro! Everyone deserves happiness. Everyone. No matter who, no matter when, no matter what. A king deserves happiness, a pauper too. A lover, a fighter, a killer, a healer. EVERYONE deserves happiness.

[Reluctance]

And you are much too kind.

But yeah... It kinda sucks, but he deserves happiness much more than I do. I suppose that is why I write poetry though. It's a delightfully constructive way to get my feelings out.

He may have been luckier than you, but don't for a second think that your happiness should take a back seat to anyone else's. You deserve awesome things.

I will say this about LDRs, though. They're good practice. This helped you get some of the basics down in a safer, more controlled environment. That means you can bypass some of the newbie mistakes with the next Mr. Amazing you come across.

[golentan]

(whaps head gently)
bad shiro! Everyone deserves happiness. Everyone. No matter who, no matter when, no matter what. A king deserves happiness, a pauper too. A lover, a fighter, a killer, a healer. EVERYONE deserves happiness.

*jaw drops*
*stunned face*

...marry me...

[Viera Champion]

*jaw drops*
*stunned face*

...marry me...

No she's mine...


@ Lix: I know... I know... I'm sorry. It's a really bad habit of mine...

[Glass Mouse]

But yeah... It kinda sucks, but he deserves happiness much more than I do. I suppose that is why I write poetry though. It's a delightfully constructive way to get my feelings out.

Wait, what? NO! You both deserve it in equal amounts. It's big of you to wish him happiness, just... don't forget that you deserve it just as much, alright?

[Lix Lorn]

*jaw drops*
*stunned face*

...marry me...

No she's mine...

@ Lix: I know... I know... I'm sorry. It's a really bad habit of mine...

Please, there's enough of me for both of you.

And yeah, it is a problem that lots of people have... Probably myself included.

[golentan]

Please, there's enough of me for both of you.

And yeah, it is a problem that lots of people have... Probably myself included.

I'm okay with sharing! I'm totally down with sharing! Sharing is caring!

[H Birchgrove]

Al'izh'dheg: Very happy to read about your future shopping adventures!

Lil Shiro: Very sorry to read that... I hope you'll find love again.

That was a ... clever move, actually. If still wildly paranoid. Superheroes are all about being seen, Keveak!

The Invisible Man (the TV-series version) and The Shadow would like word with you.

[Coidzor]

he deserves happiness much more than I do.

That's just unhealthy. Also, false. Get rid of it.

So yeah... I'm quitting long-distance relationships.

Generally a good decision, that.

Yeah, but I'm already 6'3", so I'm a bit on the edge about heels.

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Yeah, I dated a girl who was about 5'10", I'm 6'2", she couldn't find heels that were both flattering and didn't make her 6'3" or 6'4", and she got a lot of flak for being a tall woman even when she wasn't in heels and got even more hostility when she was in heels. Actually practically refused to dance because of how others treated her for the longest time.

So even a 2 inch heel is going to run the risk of making someone who is naturally 6'3" look like a freak (not a whole lot of 6'5" women running around and not getting abused for it in one way or another) and have a fair chance of misogynistic heightism even if one could pass perfectly.

[SiuiS]

And you are much too kind.

But yeah... It kinda sucks, but he deserves happiness much more than I do. I suppose that is why I write poetry though. It's a delightfully constructive way to get my feelings out.

What? No! Yo--

(whaps head gently)
bad shiro! Everyone deserves happiness. Everyone. No matter who, no matter when, no matter what. A king deserves happiness, a pauper too. A lover, a fighter, a killer, a healer. EVERYONE deserves happiness.

... Well shucks. Should have known I wouldn't be the only one to catch that.

Shiro, you have value. And never equate boosting someone else with debasing yourself. They will go higher if you stand taller, y'know? Thinking you don't deserve it leads to passing up what you should have.

[tangent]

Please, there's enough of me for both of you.

And yeah, it is a problem that lots of people have... Probably myself included.

I'm okay with sharing! I'm totally down with sharing! Sharing is caring!

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Ya gotta shaaaaare, ya gotta caaaare~

[The Succubus]

(whaps head gently)
bad shiro! Everyone deserves happiness. Everyone. No matter who, no matter when, no matter what. A king deserves happiness, a pauper too. A lover, a fighter, a killer, a healer. EVERYONE deserves happiness.

Wow. That was incredibly deep Lix. You're not just a pretty face are you....

[turkishproverb]

...This thread got oddly adorable fast.

[Lanaya]

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Ya gotta shaaaaare, ya gotta caaaare~

That song is going to be stuck in my head for a long time now. I hope you're happy.

[SiuiS]

That song is going to be stuck in my head for a long time now. I hope you're happy.

I am~
Unless your closer to upset than mildly temporarily annoyed, then I'm going to feel bad >>;

[Serpentine]

My cousin's housemate thinks gay people shouldn't be allowed to adopt because "all kids should have a chance to live normal lives with a mum and a dad", and also "all gay men are super promiscuous".

:/

And also the topic of Thai transexuals came up, which made me pretty uncomfortable...

[turkishproverb]

I'm going to suggest the Springer solution: hit 'm with a chair!

[Reluctance]

My cousin's housemate thinks gay people shouldn't be allowed to adopt because "all kids should have a chance to live normal lives with a mum and a dad", and also "all gay men are super promiscuous".

:/

It's high time to cut the civil rights angle out of this, and play the perennial favorite "but what about the children?" Specifically, which is better out of a loving, stable gay home, or being bounced around a series of straight foster homes.

[Thufir]

Generally a good decision, that.

Blanket statement is bad.

It's high time to cut the civil rights angle out of this, and play the perennial favorite "but what about the children?" Specifically, which is better out of a loving, stable gay home, or being bounced around a series of straight foster homes.

Not sure. That could be taken as implying that a loving, stable gay home is still not as good as a loving, stable straight home. We want "Gay people are just as suitable to adopt as straight people," not "Some gay people are more suitable to adopt than the bad straight people."

[Reluctance]

Not sure. That could be taken as implying that a loving, stable gay home is still not as good as a loving, stable straight home. We want "Gay people are just as suitable to adopt as straight people," not "Some gay people are more suitable to adopt than the bad straight people."

The single best weapon against homophobia is comfortably out, utterly mundane gay people. It's hard to hold the image if cavorting sodomites in your head when Fred from accounting is a concrete counterexample.

The best weapon in favor of gay adoption is perfectly mundane people raising happy, healthy children, and the children themselves. If getting to that point means not going full-force at someone who's already disinclined to believe you, sometimes your long-term plans are more important than broadcasting your activist status to everyone within earshot.

[Serpentine]

Maybe I should show him that video of that speech by that guy with lesbian parents

Actually, I handled it really badly. Went straight into Argument Mode, rather than holding onto Calm Reasonable Discussion Mode as long as possible :/

[Glass Mouse]

Not sure. That could be taken as implying that a loving, stable gay home is still not as good as a loving, stable straight home. We want "Gay people are just as suitable to adopt as straight people," not "Some gay people are more suitable to adopt than the bad straight people."

That's a big part of it.

Another thing is how much it sounds like "the pure, loving gays are so much better than the horrible breeders who always leave their poor children!" which kinda leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I can see what the statement is trying to say, but that implication is too easy to interpret, and it makes it really, really difficult to make judgmental people listen, since it just exchanges one extreme with another - and that other extreme implicitly puts down and insults the person you're trying to convince.

I just think it's a good idea to be careful about "better than" statements, because as Reluctance says, mundane everyday-ness is the best argument ever

Maybe I should show him that video of that speech by that guy with lesbian parents

Perfect! He was so cool

[Al'izh'dheg]

Don't think of it as handling it poorly, hon. Think of it as a lesson on why that approach may not be the best so you can do better next time. :)

[Reluctance]

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Sometimes argument mode happens. We can't always be our best 100% of the time.

The trick, and this is a level up from how most people are in these arguments, is to avoid appeals to authority when you're cheesed. (Which, since you're probably not watching yourself when you're hotheaded, means cutting out appeals to authority or otherwise invoking group identities in general.) If Serp is frustrated because someone else is a poopnoggin, own the snippiness as all Serp's. It's only when you're at your best that you should draw attention to yourself as a LGBT+ spokesperson.

[Serpentine]

I think you're making some assumptions there I'm not at all comfortable with

It's simply that it's been so long since I had a meatspace discussion on that topic, I sorta forgot that, you know, people can have ordinary conversations on it. It's not like I went all "GRAGH RAGE YOU HOMOPHOBE ME DEFENDER OF LGBT REALM", I just got slightly too argumentative somewhat prematurely.

And no, I didn't make any appeals to authority. It didn't go for long enough, even if I would've.