LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen

[KenderWizard]

Part of their usefulness is also in forcing you to use your hips a lot while walking (or it'll start hurting), giving you that bouncy, feminine walk.

I was counting that as a bad thing, actually! Being "forced" to walk a different way than what's comfortable, whether it's the hip swinging, the butt sticking out or just the constant tip-toes, is generally pretty bad for you and your posture. Anyway, it's totally possible to learn to comfortably swing your hips while walking without heels.

Also, I'm single again. He got asked out by a girl he likes today, who he can actually see whenever he wants, unlike me of course, so I suppose I can't blame him. He said he didn't want to hurt either of us, I said that I would be fine, that I could handle it. I was lying, but I didn't want him to feel bad, and I wanted him to do what he wanted, not what I wanted.

So yeah... I'm quitting long-distance relationships.

And you are much too kind.

But yeah... It kinda sucks, but he deserves happiness much more than I do. I suppose that is why I write poetry though. It's a delightfully constructive way to get my feelings out.

Sorry to hear it, Shiro. Don't put yourself down.

Not sure. That could be taken as implying that a loving, stable gay home is still not as good as a loving, stable straight home. We want "Gay people are just as suitable to adopt as straight people," not "Some gay people are more suitable to adopt than the bad straight people."

I was reading it as more "If the choice is between restricting to the straight people but there aren't enough people adopting, or not restricting, surely it's better for a kid to get a gay adopting couple rather than no adoption?" Being "bounced around foster homes" is really unsettling for a child. Short-term foster placements are for kids who need short-term support. For a kid who's never going to go back to their birth family, adoption is the best solution, so the kid can have a stable life.

[Coidzor]

I was counting that as a bad thing, actually! Being "forced" to walk a different way than what's comfortable, whether it's the hip swinging, the butt sticking out or just the constant tip-toes, is generally pretty bad for you and your posture. Anyway, it's totally possible to learn to comfortably swing your hips while walking without heels.

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Eh? The hip swing while in heels is uncomfortable and bad for you but doing it without heels is just fine and dandy? That's the first time I've ever heard of someone complain about anything other than the pure knifey-stabby sadistic pain of the pinching and wrenching of the feet themselves.

[Glass Mouse]

I was counting that as a bad thing, actually! Being "forced" to walk a different way than what's comfortable, whether it's the hip swinging, the butt sticking out or just the constant tip-toes, is generally pretty bad for you and your posture. Anyway, it's totally possible to learn to comfortably swing your hips while walking without heels.

True, it does say something bad about what heels do to you, but a lot of people still count it as a win.

I knew a girl in high school who walked in high heels so much (pretty much 24/7) that at some time when she was 18, it actually hurt to walk without them. Yikes.

[Reltzik]

Hello all.

I think I'm in the process of moving from (straight) ally to questioning/confuzzled. But I'm not sure. I think that's part of being confuzzled.

This is the first I've said anything about it to anyone.

In the past, most of my attraction, fantasizing, etc, has regarded women. Recently, I've been thinking, occasionally, about men. Women still predominate. Thinking back, I'm not certain this hasn't been true in the past as well. I have a hard time deciding whether it's attraction/desire, or just curiosity/exploration. Am I registering something that's there -- desire -- or something that isn't there -- experience?

This is also complicated by the fact that I'm pretty asexual in practice. It's not that I don't feel desire (I do, a lot), but that I'm not strongly motivated by it. I'm 31, and I can count my sexual relationships on one hand, none of which lasted more than a year. Those have always grown out of deep, long-established friendships, and that means they've been few and far between (but very meaningful). Even then, I was always more concerned about my partner's pleasure (and my own egotistical pride in providing it) than my own. I think I enjoy the literal sleeping together more than the "sleeping" together. And that's as explicit as I'm getting. I've been particularly annoyed in the past by the societal standard that men should be virile and promiscuous, but I don't think I'd trade that for the double (triple? quadruple?) standard that women face.

So in a sense, the question's moot. I'm not due for another relationship for a few more years anyway, and since my preferences still seem strongly slanted towards women, it probably won't come up. A thought that keeps cropping up is "if I experiment, I won't be allowed to donate blood any more." Which has the air of a silly excuse, but speaks to which I value more.

Further complicating this is my confusion regarding gender. Not MY gender, but gender as a larger concept. I fully acknowledge differences in biology, body type, etc, but beyond that I tend to reject the idea that men are this-or-that way and women should fill such-and-such role. When I identify as straight, that's entirely about the body type I find attractive. I have trouble thinking that there's much to gender BEYOND the physical (and hormonal), save arbitrary norms imposed by society, which is why transsexualism as a concept has me a bit confused. (Not that I'm anything other than supportive. I don't have to fully comprehend to accept. It DOES mean I struggle, a lot, to remember pronouns. My MtF trans friend is a saint about being called "he" when she is a she.)

I'm not in a particularly dangerous situation. I don't come from a hateful background. My parents would be slightly confused and worried about the prospects for grandkiddies (which they are anyway), but otherwise fine and supportive. So would my friends, at least, those who gave a damn one way or another. (I can just hear one saying, "Okay, fine, so what, let's get back to the game.") My religious community would be very supportive. (If I stood up in the middle of the service and came out as bi to all and sundry, I'd probably be applauded for courage and hitting the milestone. Not that I know I'm bi.) The university I attend/work at has good policies, albeit with more it needs to do. The larger region has its anti-queer bigotry, like anywhere, but it's a small and rightfully persecuted minority. I think that if there was more opposition, I'd be more determined to experiment. I'm stubborn that way.

Just felt like sharing, and hearing any feedback/opinions that might help me figure things out.

PS: My university's pride week is coming up in a few months, and I'm hoping to get my congregation plus some other accepting religious groups in town to send delegations in a show of support. Mostly it would be to send the message that religion DOESN'T have to imply hatred, but another purpose would be a presence on-hand to counter the more hateful religious groups that seem drawn to pride week like sharks to blood. I do plan to get permission from the organizing groups and the campus pride center and coordinate with them. Beyond that, does anyone have suggestions of things to do or pitfalls to avoid?

[Astrella]

Hello all.

I think I'm in the process of moving from (straight) ally to questioning/confuzzled. But I'm not sure. I think that's part of being confuzzled.

This is the first I've said anything about it to anyone.

In the past, most of my attraction, fantasizing, etc, has regarded women. Recently, I've been thinking, occasionally, about men. Women still predominate. Thinking back, I'm not certain this hasn't been true in the past as well. I have a hard time deciding whether it's attraction/desire, or just curiosity/exploration. Am I registering something that's there -- desire -- or something that isn't there -- experience?

This is also complicated by the fact that I'm pretty asexual in practice. It's not that I don't feel desire (I do, a lot), but that I'm not strongly motivated by it. I'm 31, and I can count my sexual relationships on one hand, none of which lasted more than a year. Those have always grown out of deep, long-established friendships, and that means they've been few and far between (but very meaningful). Even then, I was always more concerned about my partner's pleasure (and my own egotistical pride in providing it) than my own. I think I enjoy the literal sleeping together more than the "sleeping" together. And that's as explicit as I'm getting. I've been particularly annoyed in the past by the societal standard that men should be virile and promiscuous, but I don't think I'd trade that for the double (triple? quadruple?) standard that women face.

So in a sense, the question's moot. I'm not due for another relationship for a few more years anyway, and since my preferences still seem strongly slanted towards women, it probably won't come up. A thought that keeps cropping up is "if I experiment, I won't be allowed to donate blood any more." Which has the air of a silly excuse, but speaks to which I value more.

Hmm, I wasn't aware that still applied for blood donations. Hmm, I think jut give it a bit more time? I've never attached too much importance to it, it just jumped to "oh, guess that makes me bi/pan then" when I felt attracted to a genderqueer friend on mine. (Though I guess it complicates it a bit in that I'm trans, so I went from lesbian to bi I guess?) Hmm, I wouldn't fuss about it too much until there's an actual situation where you feel attracted to a guy? Something like reading a romantic story with a bi character point of view might help though I can't really think of any right now.

Further complicating this is my confusion regarding gender. Not MY gender, but gender as a larger concept. I fully acknowledge differences in biology, body type, etc, but beyond that I tend to reject the idea that men are this-or-that way and women should fill such-and-such role. When I identify as straight, that's entirely about the body type I find attractive. I have trouble thinking that there's much to gender BEYOND the physical (and hormonal), save arbitrary norms imposed by society, which is why transsexualism as a concept has me a bit confused. (Not that I'm anything other than supportive. I don't have to fully comprehend to accept. It DOES mean I struggle, a lot, to remember pronouns. My MtF trans friend is a saint about being called "he" when she is a she.)

Hmm, I think it has to do with the fact that you are cis gendered maybe? I think it's harder to understand what gender identity is and why it's so important when you're gender identity is already well aligned with your social role and body. Like how you don't seem to notice background noise / music as long as it's not disturbing or disruptive? Or better maybe, how you aren't constantly super-aware of the fact that you are wearing clothes, unless they're itchy, or don't fit well.

PS: My university's pride week is coming up in a few months, and I'm hoping to get my congregation plus some other accepting religious groups in town to send delegations in a show of support. Mostly it would be to send the message that religion DOESN'T have to imply hatred, but another purpose would be a presence on-hand to counter the more hateful religious groups that seem drawn to pride week like sharks to blood. I do plan to get permission from the organizing groups and the campus pride center and coordinate with them. Beyond that, does anyone have suggestions of things to do or pitfalls to avoid?

Beyond just being supportive, I can't really think of anything right now.

(Also, welcome to the thread. *hugs (if you're into that)*)

[KenderWizard]

High heels:

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Eh? The hip swing while in heels is uncomfortable and bad for you but doing it without heels is just fine and dandy? That's the first time I've ever heard of someone complain about anything other than the pure knifey-stabby sadistic pain of the pinching and wrenching of the feet themselves.

There's a difference between learning to comfortably adjust your posture and wearing something that forces your body to strain itself keeping you upright and moving. What's good for you is a relaxed, comfortable posture, hip swing or no hip swing. Like getting used to keeping your shoulders back by practicing and doing it gently and comfortably is way different than wearing a neck brace that forces your shoulders back. Also, generally the worst part, even in heels that fit right, is the pressure on the ball of the foot. That's usually why you see women standing on one leg and then the other in heels.

True, it does say something bad about what heels do to you, but a lot of people still count it as a win.

I knew a girl in high school who walked in high heels so much (pretty much 24/7) that at some time when she was 18, it actually hurt to walk without them. Yikes.

Oh my god, that's awful! If you wear heels too much and then run, apparently you can snap the tendons in your ankles because they've been under pressure to be tight and now you're stretching them. I don't know anyone that happened to, though, only heard about it.

*snip*

Hi Reltzik! I was also questioning once. It's confusing and annoying. I think the best thing to do it try to relax about it and just keep an open mind and an eye on your feelings. Also, your church sounds awesome!

[Reluctance]

Reltzik:
Gender

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Gender is rooted in biology, and certain traits are more likely to show up in males while others are more likely to show up in females. We can acknowledge as much in many animal species, and humans have a decent level of sexual dimorphism. I wouldn't take the people who say that gender is an entirely social construct seriously any more than I did when they insisted homosexuality was a choice.

Having said that, gender becomes much easier if you treat it as a purely social matter. There are a few obvious exceptions (E.G: drag queens), but otherwise, treat people as they present. It's simple, and it's basic courtesy.

Orientation

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This isn't a popular view, but I'm a fan of utilitarianism in terms of labels. Identify as straight, gay or bi depending on who you could reasonably see yourself dating. Once again, view them as advertising terms and 90% of the confusion evaporates.

If you're interested in experimenting, there are things you can do with little or no risk of disease. Making out and toys come immediately to mind. I don't know just what would cross you off the blood donor list, but there's probably some light stuff that won't that you can use to test yourself.

(The biggest problem with experimenting is that you're experimenting. With relationships, that requires another person who may or may not get cut for no real reason. While it's not hard to find an Adult Encounters site if you're only after a quick fling, it's hard to explain that you want to get close to them, while at the same time acknowledging that you offer no guarantees. Of course, if you don't say any of this and it happens anyways, you risk becoming another example of Why Bis Are Flaky. It'd be nice if I had a solution. Still, being aware puts you ahead of most people who fumble through experimental partners.)

But to get back to the original point, stop stressing over how to label yourself on any spectrum. Do what - and who - you want to do. View labels purely as a way to communicate who you want to attract. Then you can realize that "likes ****" has as much moral weight, and deserves as much agonizing over, as "likes redheads".

Religion

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Don't have any solid advice, because your university should explain all the requirements they have. More supportive voices are always a good thing. And extra good on you for deciding that reasonable religious people need to take the message straight to the nutjobs hiding behind religion that they're neither welcome nor appreciated.

[Astrella]

I always like digging this up with respects to gender:

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[golentan]

I always like digging this up with respects to gender:

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Plus, it gives an excuse to make jokes about eating people!

[noparlpf]

Extra gun-arms. :P

Oh, kender! I dunno if you read SMBC, but as the expert on periods, you might find it funny today! Or you might be offended, ymmv I guess.

I don't usually read SMBC unless somebody links me to a specific page, but that one was funny. I like grammar jokes. (Punctuation is a part of grammar, right?)

True, it does say something bad about what heels do to you, but a lot of people still count it as a win.

I knew a girl in high school who walked in high heels so much (pretty much 24/7) that at some time when she was 18, it actually hurt to walk without them. Yikes.

My little sister, who is ten, walks on her toes all the time and has for some years. (She doesn't wear heels. My mom wouldn't let her.) She can now barely even stand flat on the floor, let alone walk heel-toe. It's pretty bad.

[Coidzor]

My little sister, who is ten, walks on her toes all the time and has for some years. (She doesn't wear heels. My mom wouldn't let her.) She can now barely even stand flat on the floor, let alone walk heel-toe. It's pretty bad.

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That's... horrifying. My housemate doesn't do it all the time, but he does it enough that he tears the everliving fluff out of the soles of his shoes. We've only recently gotten him to stop wearing boots because those especially are not made to be walked in all wrong, and there's nothing so painful as watching a good pair of boots that can stand up to all kinds of hiking abuse getting torn apart from the inside out.

Then again, I've got to watch myself sometimes or I'll start to toe-walk when I'm using stairs in an informal setting and can afford to go at the sort of bounding pace that I prefer for stairs. Kind of wonder where I even picked that up... And if it's from a similar source as that filly.

But yeah, isn't 10 like the point where they're still too young for heels, and it's more something that they're supposed to be trained in when they're 12-13ish?

[Castaras]

My little sister, who is ten, walks on her toes all the time and has for some years. (She doesn't wear heels. My mom wouldn't let her.) She can now barely even stand flat on the floor, let alone walk heel-toe. It's pretty bad.

*raises hand* I walked/walk on my tiptoes a lot. Done it ever since I could walk. Happens randomly, and I hardly notice it (until other people say "Why you walk on tiptoes" and I'm like "I'm walking on tiptoes? Oh. So I am.").

however, I hardly ever wear heels, and prefer trainers. Which I still manage to tiptoe in a lot of the time.

[Callista]

Hey, what do you guys think of my investigating my school's LGBT organization? I'm asexual, and they've never given any sign that they include asexuality as any sort of "rainbow" category. On the other hand, I feel pretty strongly about acceptance of human diversity. I'm just kind of worried they might say, "yeah, but you don't know what it's like to be gay or bi or trans"--which is true; I don't; asexuals don't get nearly that amount of bigotry--or, worse, that I'd just be seen as an intruder or a lesbian in denial instead of who I am. It's a puzzle to me and it's intimidating to consider; on the other hand, I keep on catching myself slowing down whenever I walk by their little resource room, wanting to go in and ask questions.

What's your experience of the relationship between asexual and gay/lesbian/bi people? Is there enough common ground, or is it just too different to see eye to eye? I know we do pretty well here, but online is different. It's harder to get mad when you have to think before you type.

[Coidzor]

I'm just kind of worried they might say, "yeah, but you don't know what it's like to be gay or bi or trans"

Seems like a rather low offchance. And if they do, what have you lost? You've given it a shot and they've proven themselves to not be worth anyone's time.

I'd just be seen as an intruder

Then they're fools and if they embrace that kind of set-up they're showing signs of leaning towards being bad people? Because, really, you'd be rather hard-pressed to find a school-based group that didn't have room for allies, even.

or a lesbian in denial instead of who I am.

Then they're ignorant and bigoted to boot?

[Tyriont]

I'd certainly say go ahead and check it out and ask the questions. While it's true that some groups might not be welcoming, that's true of any sexuality and says more about the individual group than anything else. I'd expect that if the group was founded with the "right" intentions - to foster understanding and acceptance of non-standard sexual orientations, of which asexuality is one - then I can't imagine them being anything other than welcoming to you.

To be anything else would, in my opinion, be "doing it wrong".

Either way, I think approaching the group in your case certainly falls into the category of "you'll never know unless you try". For what it's worth, I have a friend who is asexual and she's been met with nothing but support from other LGBT-friendly people.

[Lix Lorn]

[tangent]

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Ya gotta shaaaaare, ya gotta caaaare~

Exactly what I thought of too.

Wow. That was incredibly deep Lix. You're not just a pretty face are you....

Ha, I try. I think. Sorta. Depending on your viewpoint.

I don't usually read SMBC unless somebody links me to a specific page, but that one was funny. I like grammar jokes. (Punctuation is a part of grammar, right?)

Yes? XD

[noparlpf]

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That's... horrifying. My housemate doesn't do it all the time, but he does it enough that he tears the everliving fluff out of the soles of his shoes. We've only recently gotten him to stop wearing boots because those especially are not made to be walked in all wrong, and there's nothing so painful as watching a good pair of boots that can stand up to all kinds of hiking abuse getting torn apart from the inside out.

Then again, I've got to watch myself sometimes or I'll start to toe-walk when I'm using stairs in an informal setting and can afford to go at the sort of bounding pace that I prefer for stairs. Kind of wonder where I even picked that up... And if it's from a similar source as that filly.

But yeah, isn't 10 like the point where they're still too young for heels, and it's more something that they're supposed to be trained in when they're 12-13ish?

My shoes are torn all to heck, but that's because they're nearly three years old. I always walk heel-toe, though I suppose I tend to run up stairs and often just land on my toes going up stairs.
My sister doesn't wear heels, but that's mostly because my mother disapproves of heels. She's just been walking on her toes for years for some unknown reason. Maybe she wants to seem taller; she does have two older brothers.

Hey, what do you guys think of my investigating my school's LGBT organization? I'm asexual, and they've never given any sign that they include asexuality as any sort of "rainbow" category. On the other hand, I feel pretty strongly about acceptance of human diversity. I'm just kind of worried they might say, "yeah, but you don't know what it's like to be gay or bi or trans"--which is true; I don't; asexuals don't get nearly that amount of bigotry--or, worse, that I'd just be seen as an intruder or a lesbian in denial instead of who I am. It's a puzzle to me and it's intimidating to consider; on the other hand, I keep on catching myself slowing down whenever I walk by their little resource room, wanting to go in and ask questions.

What's your experience of the relationship between asexual and gay/lesbian/bi people? Is there enough common ground, or is it just too different to see eye to eye? I know we do pretty well here, but online is different. It's harder to get mad when you have to think before you type.

I'd say, "Just go for it." If it doesn't work out, then don't go again.
I've never faced much prejudice when I tell people I'm asexual, though some people simply don't believe me. LGBT kids don't tend to associate me with them, and I'm one of the few people on campus who says "LGBTA+". Plenty of LGBT kids I've met accept asexuality because it would be hypocritical not to (though that doesn't stop some people). It's just not really in the same category of "oppressed group" in the same kind of way, you know?

[Callista]

It's just not really in the same category of "oppressed group" in the same kind of way, you know?

Exactly. While some asexuals have experienced sexual harassment, I don't think it's much more intense than what straight women routinely experience just for being women. Maybe women are pulling ahead, now with gender equality becoming more important and asexuality still relatively unknown; but really--it's nowhere near the horror stories you hear about gay kids getting beaten up and thrown out on the street, and here and there a murder. It's a completely different level of bigotry.

It would mean that I'd be there mostly because I'm sick of seeing people getting mistreated; and maybe because I'm a bit genderqueer--which is nowhere near the same thing as being trans; I've never gotten any worse than funny looks for getting a buzz cut and wearing non-feminine clothing. It's like, I've got just enough in common to realize how much needs to be done; but not enough to actually empathize in the "I've been there too" way. I guess it's kind of like the way you could empathize with someone whose spouse died by remembering how you felt when your hamster died--they both have a bit of the same quality of badness; only one is much worse and more intense than the other, and you couldn't say, "I know how you're feeling"; but losing your hamster makes you understand how sad it is to lose someone, and that knowledge makes you want to help the person who has just lost their spouse.

[Coidzor]

Being queer ain't some kind of queer-off contest 24/7.

In fact, those sorts of things when they do show up are jokes that attempt to mock the ignorant and bigoted or are nothing but excuses to be completely and utterly silly.

Nor is there some kind of "minimum level of queerness to apply" that's been standardized. And, well, anyone who'd actually come up with something like that.... probably best avoided in general, and better to know if they're on campus than to be ignorant of such dangerous sentiments at risk of spreading.

And, well, if we all had to have our parents die in order to have empathy for someone whose parents died, well, empathy would be in even shorter supply than it actually is.

ION: Of all things, it seems like Archie comics have had the first gay wedding in comic book history. Or at least that's what my feeds have just coughed up on my slippers.

[Tyriont]

Exactly. While some asexuals have experienced sexual harassment, I don't think it's much more intense than what straight women routinely experience just for being women. Maybe women are pulling ahead, now with gender equality becoming more important and asexuality still relatively unknown; but really--it's nowhere near the horror stories you hear about gay kids getting beaten up and thrown out on the street, and here and there a murder. It's a completely different level of bigotry.

It would mean that I'd be there mostly because I'm sick of seeing people getting mistreated; and maybe because I'm a bit genderqueer--which is nowhere near the same thing as being trans; I've never gotten any worse than funny looks for getting a buzz cut and wearing non-feminine clothing. It's like, I've got just enough in common to realize how much needs to be done; but not enough to actually empathize in the "I've been there too" way. I guess it's kind of like the way you could empathize with someone whose spouse died by remembering how you felt when your hamster died--they both have a bit of the same quality of badness; only one is much worse and more intense than the other, and you couldn't say, "I know how you're feeling"; but losing your hamster makes you understand how sad it is to lose someone, and that knowledge makes you want to help the person who has just lost their spouse.

The fact that this is your attitude is in part why I doubt you'd have any issues with the group. If you were to go in with the attitude of "I know exactly how it feels to go through what you do" then you might be met with more resistance, it's true. Discrimination against asexuals happens in a very different way than the violence others experience - but that doesn't make it any less wrong. From what I've seen, the bigotry against asexuals is more of the casual type - the assumption that "you'll grow out of it" is one I've seen thrown around before which is just plain wrong.

To use your own example - losing a spouse and a hamster are obviously very different, but the person who lost the hamster can still be there for the other without knowing exactly how the feel. On the flip side, just because the person who lost their spouse went through a more "significant" loss doesn't mean they can't show empathy and understanding to the person who lost their hamster.

Just present yourself and ask your questions with the level of respect and understanding you're showing here and you'll do just fine.

[Qaera]

My school's GSA is going to exist after a school year of not being in that state, so, cool.

~ ♅

[Coidzor]

My school's GSA is going to exist after a school year of not being in that state, so, cool.

~ ♅

Sorry to hear that it went away, but good to know it's coming back. Hopefully it can stay that way.

[Viera Champion]

ION: Of all things, it seems like Archie comics have had the first gay wedding in comic book history. Or at least that's what my feeds have just coughed up on my slippers.

GIVE ME A LINK NOW!

OMG, only my FAVORITE comic as a kid, and I am only 15.

[Coidzor]

GIVE ME A LINK NOW!

OMG, only my FAVORITE comic as a kid, and I am only 15.

Ah. Well, I lost the first link, but this one provided by google seems to touch a fair number of bases and also provide links to other related things.

I originally found it through the Museum of Sex's facebook feed, so, you know, hunt that one down at your own risk.

[Viera Champion]

Ah. Well, I lost the first link, but this one provided by google seems to touch a fair number of bases and also provide links to other related things.

I originally found it through the Museum of Sex's facebook feed, so, you know, hunt that one down at your own risk.

My life is now complete. I wish I still read Archie Comics. Now I'm sad.

[Anethiel]

ION: Of all things, it seems like Archie comics have had the first gay wedding in comic book history. Or at least that's what my feeds have just coughed up on my slippers.

Oh, that was what that article was about!
During my morning random browsing I stumbled upon an article with the cover of said comic and no commentary text. I was trying hard to understand what was notable of that cover, with no success. My mind didn't register the fact that it depicted two persons of the same sex getting married... That's pretty cool

[turkishproverb]

ION: Of all things, it seems like Archie comics have had the first gay wedding in comic book history. Or at least that's what my feeds have just coughed up on my slippers.

I'm pretty sure the Authority had one long before. And there were more "indy comics" that did the thing before that.

[KenderWizard]

Heels and walking:

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My little sister, who is ten, walks on her toes all the time and has for some years. (She doesn't wear heels. My mom wouldn't let her.) She can now barely even stand flat on the floor, let alone walk heel-toe. It's pretty bad.

That's unusual, but not unheard of. My younger brother is exactly the same, and I don't think he's doing it to be taller because he is tall. It's just more comfortable for him, and always has been. Is she dyspraxic? I don't walk heel-toe but more kind of bouncy, and I run on my toes, and I never wore heels very often and not at all these days.

Callista, you've nothing to lose by trying, except if they're mean to you, but that's an outside chance and you could report them for being unwelcoming. If you want to get to know them before you tell them everything about yourself, go as an ally!

[Astrella]

Hey, what do you guys think of my investigating my school's LGBT organization? I'm asexual, and they've never given any sign that they include asexuality as any sort of "rainbow" category. On the other hand, I feel pretty strongly about acceptance of human diversity. I'm just kind of worried they might say, "yeah, but you don't know what it's like to be gay or bi or trans"--which is true; I don't; asexuals don't get nearly that amount of bigotry--or, worse, that I'd just be seen as an intruder or a lesbian in denial instead of who I am. It's a puzzle to me and it's intimidating to consider; on the other hand, I keep on catching myself slowing down whenever I walk by their little resource room, wanting to go in and ask questions.

What's your experience of the relationship between asexual and gay/lesbian/bi people? Is there enough common ground, or is it just too different to see eye to eye? I know we do pretty well here, but online is different. It's harder to get mad when you have to think before you type.

You should do it! I don't think you'll really receive any flak; the only thing that might happen is that there'll be some ignorance about asexuality, so you might have to do some explaining. You'll probably do fine though, since you're a very respectful and kind-hearted person.


Ugh, so besides arguing with people in comment sections about misgendering last night, I think I've also broken with one of my good online friends. (It was over religion in relation to LGBT so I won't elaborate.) I feel really crappy right now. I dunno, for some reason it's easier to phase it out when it comes from an over the top bigot then from someone that is / was your friend. ._.

[Delusion]

Being queer ain't some kind of queer-off contest 24/7.

Must be this queer to enter?

Speaking of which, I have been switching from wearing male androgyneos clothing to more femine, almost full famel clothing and no one seems bat an eyelas. Its frigging awesome *squee*

Not that that made any sense.