Birth of a God.

[LanSlyde]

Story Time!

So, long story short, our current DM has a preference for torturing his PCs and eldritch horrors. So when a player in our group decides he wants to play a binder our DM decided to implement a random table on the off chance he wanted to summon things blindly. So, the player (lvl8) decides at the beginning of meet he's going to try to summon blindly.

He rolls in the high 30s on his binder score twice for two separate vestiges.

The dm rolls on his random tables. I've got the seat directly to his right. I see the rolls. 100 and 99.

Now, this is a player that normally has consistently bad rolls. Absolutely terrible rolls. Rolls that make me shiver just thinking about them.

I'll reiterate, rolled stupid high on his binder check, then got a 100 and 99 respectively.

This man brings Azathoth and Great Cthulhu himself into the Prime material.

The great arcane tower that we have been exploring was ripped asunder as roiling pink nuclear fire pierces the heavens and forms a great tree in the sky as Azathoth manifests.

The seas around the island this once-magnificent tower rests upon rushes away and the tower itself is pushed upwards as R'lyeh itself rushes to the surface. Somehow, we all make our will saves to avoid insanity in the presence of these great and terrible entities.

The power of these two are enough to drive our little binder to madness as his mind is assaulted by the very embodiments of primordial insanity itself. The combined might of these two beings inhabiting his body elevate him to the power of other primordial beings such as Asmodeus and the Queen of Blades herself.

He could only contain their power for a short minute. But during that time he remade reality... Ripping the planes of the Gray Wastes of Hades, four levels of the Abyss, and four levels of Bator right out of the inter-planar network and reforms them into his image as single plane of existence. Now, the denizens around the tower, and the inhabitants of those planes, were reshaped into his image. Creating a whole new race, which he scattered across the planes and gave them the ability to infect others with his taint and thus spread the Word of Chaos. Basically in the blink of an eye, he tore reality asunder while the other divines could do nothing but watch helplessly. Then created a whole new race and enough followers to officially elevate him to Divine Rank 10.

Oh, his final act before losing the might of the Elder Gods was to recreate the tower as a living draconic sentient construct, which can no longer be touched by the presence of Primordial Beings such as himself. Now, me and the surviving PCs are hauling ass north to avoid the backlash of this void in reality that was his Ascension. Also, the dragon-city is following us. So far it seems pretty chill.

Finally, he's officially pissed off all the other gods. Even Ao was like "wtf mate?".

The end. Discuss!

[legomaster00156]

I laughed so hard, and was at the same time thoroughly impressed.

[Laserlight]

Not quite so epic, but....

From a game I deny having any involvement in:

Tony: The first thing I want to do is call up Honest Abdul: "I have money to burn!"
DM: Hearing the word "money", Honest Abdul appears at your elbow with a happy smile. "What items of most excellent quality can I offer you, for a price just barely enough to keep my pitiful children from starving?"
Tony: "I want to buy a copy of the Necronomicon. I'll offer everything I have, plus a guitar string."
DM: Ooooookay. Honest Abdul has a copy, certainly, and if you're offering everything you have....plus a guitar string...he'll certainly make the trade. What do you do next?
Tony: I read it. Aloud.
DM: Tony...I know you know better. You really want to do this?
Tony: Oh yes. Definitely.
DM shrugs, reaches under table, pulls out a giant Cthulhoid figure and puts it on the map.
DM: You know, I spent two months trying to figure out a way to trick you guys into doing that, and you do it voluntarily in the first three minutes.
Tony: When you run a game, it just brings out my urge to destroy the entire world.

[Slipperychicken]

So.. there's at least a 1/1000 chance of calling in Cthulhu, every time you Bind? By probability, if you're binding one vestige each day, the whole Mythos should be tearing up the Prime Material every few years or so.

[LanSlyde]

So.. there's at least a 1/1000 chance of calling in Cthulhu, every time you Bind? By probability, if you're binding one vestige each day, the whole Mythos should be tearing up the Prime Material every few years or so.

So silly, you can bind "known" vestiges. Or you can attempt to contact something randomly. He just happened to roll the two highest numbers on the table.

[Blueiji]

The Demented One actually made Vestiges based off the Cthulhu mythos.

They're located in these four threads. One, two, three, and four.

[Terumitsu]

Hey! I don't torture... Just.. Give you guys enough rope is all. I can't help it that there is always one person who apparently took Craft: Noose.

[Psyren]

Finally, he's officially pissed off all the other gods. Even Ao was like "wtf mate?".

The end. Discuss!

Not sure what there really is to discuss about a scenario like that. You did the right thing (i.e. haul ass), so... yay?

[LanSlyde]

Hey! I don't torture... Just.. Give you guys enough rope is all. I can't help it that there is always one person who apparently took Craft: Noose.

As I said earlier, your a terrible person and you should feel bad.

[Laserlight]

Hey! I don't torture... Just.. Give you guys enough rope is all. I can't help it that there is always one person who apparently took Craft: Noose.

That is Truth.

[Arcanist]

Finally, he's officially pissed off all the other gods. Even Ao was like "wtf mate?".

...

Hey! I don't torture... Just.. Give you guys enough rope is all. I can't help it that there is always one person who apparently took Craft: Noose.

... If you ever do a PbP, can you add me to it? ALSO! If you live in an adjacent state to Colorado, I will gladly make the commute to come and play in your games

[Aharon]

So, long story short, our current DM has a preference for torturing his PCs and eldritch horrors.

At least he's an equal opportunity torturer

[ThiagoMartell]

Not sure what there really is to discuss about a scenario like that. You did the right thing (i.e. haul ass), so... yay?

Omg, you linked. There goes the rest of my shift.

[Psyren]

Omg, you linked. There goes the rest of my shift.

You're welcome

[LanSlyde]

In all seriousness tho, what would you guys have done in that situation?

[Psyren]

In all seriousness tho, what would you guys have done in that situation?

What you described, though visually cool, was essentially a cutscene. There's nothing to really do in that instance but run, and wait for the plot hook that will eventually (potentially) lead to you fixing everything - possibly gaining a lot of levels in the interim.


Well, I suppose you could have stuck around instead, but I can't imagine what a level 8 party could do to impact events of that magnitude.

[Aharon]

Well, depends on the character. I played a chaos-worshipper once, she probably would have stayed, in awe, and died.

[ExemplarofAvg]

He's Divine Rank 10,
You worship him.
You get your spells, you now can never go against your deity's code.
You can ask him for favours directly.
And you tell me what the race he made was, I want to know.

[LanSlyde]

He's Divine Rank 10,
You worship him.
You get your spells, you now can never go against your deity's code.
You can ask him for favours directly.
And you tell me what the race he made was, I want to know.

While it's interesting, I don't like the idea of worshipping such a being. As soon as one of us comes up with racial stats and what-not I'll post it.

[Black Cross]

Hey! I don't torture... Just.. Give you guys enough rope is all. I can't help it that there is always one person who apparently took Craft: Noose.

With our group it's usually less "Craft (Noose)" and more "in trying to perform amazing rope tricks, little Timmy failed to notice the nearby cliff and tumbled over the edge. As he fell the rope found its way around his neck and the rest is told by the headless body at the bottom of the gorge alongside the smashing new paint job."

Your less than healthy obsession with ancient and terrible eldritch abominations from beyond the stars often leads to the eventual strangulation of any normalcy to be had in what might have otherwise been just a regular f**k up. On the other hand, that sort of thing just happens to cling to you like a bad rash. If you knew how many times I had to re-roll when you used The Hat because it rolled 10,000: The Stars Are Right...

That said, it makes for an exciting tale of one poor bastard (who likely just wanted to bind the vestige of an ancient and powerful chef so he could use his abilities to craft himself a sandwich) summoning the very essence of everything WRONG with the universe and then proceeding to somehow turn it around and achieve some manner of munificently benevolent benefit. Also, it provides a picture perfect example of "the best laid schemes of mice and men" going awry. Kind of sorry I had to miss it. However, knowing my luck, if I HAD been there he would likely have failed miserably to maintain control of his mind. He would likely then have gone bats**t insane and killed everyone. It all worked out for the best. Here's to next week's session and a swift end to things with tentacles on their face asking the party if they'd like a moustache ride!

[LanSlyde]

Spoiler

Show

With our group it's usually less "Craft (Noose)" and more "in trying to perform amazing rope tricks, little Timmy failed to notice the nearby cliff and tumbled over the edge. As he fell the rope found its way around his neck and the rest is told by the headless body at the bottom of the gorge alongside the smashing new paint job."

Your less than healthy obsession with ancient and terrible eldritch abominations from beyond the stars often leads to the eventual strangulation of any normalcy to be had in what might have otherwise been just a regular f**k up. On the other hand, that sort of thing just happens to cling to you like a bad rash. If you knew how many times I had to re-roll when you used The Hat because it rolled 10,000: The Stars Are Right...

That said, it makes for an exciting tale of one poor bastard (who likely just wanted to bind the vestige of an ancient and powerful chef so he could use his abilities to craft himself a sandwich) summoning the very essence of everything WRONG with the universe and then proceeding to somehow turn it around and achieve some manner of munificently benevolent benefit. Also, it provides a picture perfect example of "the best laid schemes of mice and men" going awry. Kind of sorry I had to miss it. However, knowing my luck, if I HAD been there he would likely have failed miserably to maintain control of his mind. He would likely then have gone bats**t insane and killed everyone. It all worked out for the best. Here's to next week's session and a swift end to things with tentacles on their face asking the party if they'd like a moustache ride!

That was probably the most beautiful thing I have read in a while. Remind me to give you shiny bits ingame.

[ShneekeyTheLost]

"Nice trick"

"What, you can do better?"

"Yep"

"Then do it."

Quoth the Kobold: "Pazzu, Pazzu, Pazzu"

[Slipperychicken]

Quoth the Kobold: "Pazzu, Pazzu, Pazzu"

"What's Pazzu? Is that some kind of weird Kobold dish?"

[Madara]

"Nice trick"

"What, you can do better?"

"Yep"

"Then do it."

Quoth the Kobold: "Pazzu, Pazzu, Pazzu"

That's beautiful sir, absolutely beautiful

[LanSlyde]

"What's Pazzu? Is that some kind of weird Kobold dish?"

Pazuzu is one of the Lords of the Abyss, who is surprisingly reliable about granting the wishes of those who summon him by speaking his name 3 times.

[karkus]

"Nice trick"

"What, you can do better?"

"Yep"

"Then do it."

Quoth the Kobold: "Pazzu, Pazzu, Pazzu"

I though that his name was "Pazzuzu..."

Edit: Now I remember; he had around 3 different names, and those were 2 of them.

[AuraTwilight]

I wanna see the stats for this race, plane, and the domain of this deity if and when they become available!

[LanSlyde]

I wanna see the stats for this race, plane, and the domain of this deity if and when they become available!

Information will be posted as it becomes available.

[Duboris]

From the sounds of it, I hope you guys like killing multiple eldritch abominations at the same time.

[TuggyNE]

From the sounds of it, I hope you guys like killing multiple eldritch abominations at the same time.

Who doesn't?