Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

[Ksheep]

* When an Inevitable shows up with an army of Formians to arrest you for a crime, it's best if you comply
** When they escort you to the plane of Mechanus for trial, you know you must've done something REALLY wrong
*** When the High Arbitar for the trial is a construct, it just might be a hint that you won't be able to talk your way out of this.
**** When they finally tell you what you're accused of, and it turns out to be breaking a law placed to stop a warmongering civilization that collapsed over a thousand years ago, you better hope they believe you when you tell them that you aren't part of that civilization
***** Especially when one of your party members is a Warforged made by said civilization (albeit with a different mind (long story, just suffice it to say that Gnomes were involved))

[Milo v3]

* When the inevitables decided to create a new model just to kill you, you shouldn't continue breaking the laws of existance.

[Dimers]

* When an Inevitable shows up with an army of Formians to arrest you for a crime, it's best if you comply
***** (long story, just suffice it to say that Gnomes were involved))

* If gnomes are involved, it's best if you just comply go along with it.

[Arbane]

* When an Inevitable shows up with an army of Formians to arrest you for a crime, it's best if you comply
** When they escort you to the plane of Mechanus for trial, you know you must've done something REALLY wrong
*** When the High Arbitar for the trial is a construct, it just might be a hint that you won't be able to talk your way out of this.

When the crime you're accused of turns out to involve stealing the tags from mattresses, you ARE allowed to beat the GM with their own books.

[Tetraplex]

*My bard cannot bluff the head of the local Merchants' Guild into giving him his post in exchange for that puppy I picked up earlier.
**No, playing "Cult of Personality" on my mandolin does NOT give a bonus to my suggestion spell.
***Puppies make terrible helmets. Angry men will, in fact, attack a gnome with a puppy on his head.

[DigoDragon]

Shadowrun--

• Not allowed to create a Magnetic Anomaly Dectector that picks up plastic.
• Not allowed to let the party Rigger have access to a snow plow ever again.
• Not allowed to recreate the Winchester Mansion while the party still has access to grenades.
• The Rigger is banned from having his drone hitch a ride on the changeling's tail.
• Not allowed to make self defense rolls for the shaman's summond plant spirit and then assume such actions uses up favors. It doesn't.
• Never bring a gun to a mage fight.

[Hyena]

* My wizard is not Tim. Also, not Dean the Expellcaster.

[saxavarius]

*There is no elf with a magic rune on its body
**May not capture and strip search every elf I come across just in case
*** Ditto for dwarves, gnomes, orcs, or halflings
**** No strip searching NPCs!!!

[Proud Tortoise]

I may not play a purple worm.

I may not play a remorhaz.

I may not play a were-purple worm.

[Adoendithas]

* The subrace "high elf" does NOT mean "elf on drugs."

[Wookieetank]

* The subrace "high elf" does NOT mean "elf on drugs."

** It also doesn't mean an elf who carts around a pot with him and stands on it frequently.

[nedz]

* The subrace "high elf" does NOT mean "elf on drugs."
** It also doesn't mean an elf who carts around a pot with him and stands on it frequently.

*** It may however mean an elf who lives in a tall white tower
**** Or an elf who's head is always in the clouds

[Guizonde]

*** It may however mean an elf who lives in a tall white tower
**** Or an elf who's head is always in the clouds

*****no, "high elf" is not the dwarf way of saying "target"

[TimeWizard]

*There is no elf with a magic rune on its body
**May not capture and strip search every elf I come across just in case
*** Ditto for dwarves, gnomes, orcs, or halflings
**** No strip searching NPCs!!!

A ha!

[nedz]

*****no, "high elf" is not the dwarf way of saying "target"

****** Or someone who gets drunk on half a pint of beer, well Dwarf beer anyhow.

[Doorhandle]

*Cannot play a barbarian that is somehow a samurai.
** A single-stroke battle does not result whenever I use howling strike.
* Thunderfoot rage does not mean "Stand back citizen! I take LARGE STEPS!"
**Nor does it mean I'm dancing the charleston, with my sword as the cane.
* Desperate fury is not the definition of insanity.
* Goring charge involves a large cow-man rushing his opponent and heabutting him. It does NOT mean your minotaur launches himself bodily at the target like a human cannonball without the cannon.
*Wreckless charge does mean I have to say sorry.
*My character is not Yoshimitsu.

[Guizonde]

*Cannot play a barbarian that is somehow a samurai.
** A single-stroke battle does not result whenever I use howling strike.
* Thunderfoot rage does not mean "Stand back citizen! I take LARGE STEPS!"
**Nor does it mean I'm dancing the charleston, with my sword as the cane.
* Desperate fury is not the definition of insanity.
* Goring charge involves a large cow-man rushing his opponent and heabutting him. It does NOT mean your minotaur launches himself bodily at the target like a human cannonball without the cannon.
*Wreckless charge does mean I have to say sorry.
*My character is not Yoshimitsu.

this reminds me:

-my dm's brother is not allowed to model his halfling barbarian on altair.
-my dm's brother is not allowed to model his halfling barbarian on ezio.
-my dm's brother is not allowed to model his halfling barbarian on that third assassin.
-my dm's brother is not allowed to model his halfling barbarian on desmond
-my dm's brother is not allowed to model his halfling barbarian on ANY character from the assassin's creed franchise!

my dm ruled that jumping did not work that way, i said "go for it, at your own risk". he didn't. shame, really

[Scow2]

this reminds me:
my dm ruled that jumping did not work that way, i said "go for it, at your own risk". he didn't. shame, really

Jumping doesn't work what way?

[Ksheep]

Jumping doesn't work what way?

If I had to guess, it would be something along the lines of "Jumping into a pile of hay does not negate all fall damage, especially when you're jumping off a 100' tall spire."

[Scow2]

*I may no longer abuse Dominate Person's description to subvert any order given to me by designating it Nap- or Dinnertime, even if it has precedent in Dwarf Fortress. Not even if it's night, or close to any designated meal/snacktime.
** No, I may not attend parties instead of carrying out orders under the effect of Dominate person either.

[Guizonde]

If I had to guess, it would be something along the lines of "Jumping into a pile of hay does not negate all fall damage, especially when you're jumping off a 100' tall spire."

it didn't go that far, but his entire concept revolved around: goomba-stomp mook (for damage), then double stab with his short swords... the thing is he weighs like... 40 pounds, and he's level 1, so not enough attacks. so yeah. doesn't really work that way since he was hoping he could legitimately make a mook stumble. he did pull off an incredible AoO jumping off a rooftop onto a fleeing mook though, so that was cool!

[Kane0]

* I may not jump over an opponent to give myself a flanking bonus until his turn
** If I do happen to do so, I'd best hope to have the sudden leap maneuver or something similar

* I may not use my Eldritch cone as a means of extra propulsion for a jump
** Nor can I use eldritch cone for extra speed while flying
***If I am heard muttering any of the following words in any order I am to expect books to be launched at my face: "Kah" "Meh" or "Hah"
****I may not 'overcharge' my eldritch blast any more. Not even if I use a homebrew feat to be able to do so as a kind of metamagic.

[rockdeworld]

* My wizard is not Tim. Also, not Dean the Expellcaster.

** He may, however, be Timmy. But preferably not Johnny or Spike.
*** He may not claim immunity from enemies on their first turn by stating that they have "summoning sickness."

[nedz]

* My Wizard may not have max ranks in Perform(Pinball)
** Especially if he is Deaf, Dumb and Blind

[Thump]

*I may no longer use the Black Flame Daggers as a Vrolikai

**Even if their use warrants certain death for the enemy

***I may not designate insane teammates as enemies

****May no longer ask the hooded obyrith lord what her name is*

*****This will result in insanity in the party.

******May no longer play a Vrolikai

*******May no longer touch negative levels

[Kymme]

Here's some:
*in a time-traveling game, I cannot play as a punk teenage kid
**when our time machine malfunctions and sends us back to the biblical era, i cannot try to become the messiah
***sunglasses and a pat on the back do not cure the sick and lame.

[dps]

A ha!

I thought is was really funny, but I didn't even realize that it was a reference to something.

I still have no idea what it's a reference to.

[Chilingsworth]

I thought is was really funny, but I didn't even realize that it was a reference to something.

I still have no idea what it's a reference to.

Those Who Hunt Elves, I'd guess.

[Doorhandle]

*I may no longer use the Black Flame Daggers as a Vrolikai

**Even if their use warrants certain death for the enemy

***I may not designate insane teammates as enemies

****May no longer ask the hooded obyrith lord what her name is*

*****This will result in insanity in the party.

******May no longer play a Vrolikai

*******May no longer touch negative levels

Note to self: Play as a Vrolikai. Basically constantly.

[Guizonde]

Here's some:
***sunglasses and a pat on the back do not cure the sick and lame.

this is the best pun i've seen in quite a while. i must try it out on a cleric!

*no, dwarves do not have racial proficiency: skateboard, snowboard
**elves do not have racial proficiency: surfboard, windsurf, windkite

*once again, halflings are not considered projectiles, even with their consent
**said halfling cannot use "hang-time", especially if it's to sneak attack
***what's with me and throwing live projectiles?!

*rule of cool applies in case of natural 20's only
**aaaaaaaand rule of cool is banned