Kneenibble's Knack for Knightly Knickers: a Knell for Random Banter #184

[LaZodiac]

Of course! I'd never survive without the forum! <huggles forever>

Yay hugs forever! *hugs forever!*

[Asta Kask]

Huh?

Well, listen to him! That's not english. I don't know what it is, but it's not english.

[Socratov]

well, one could argue that he speaks a very local dialect where proper pronuciation has made place for grunts, wails, profanity, moans and other indiscriminte sounds not showing any glint of pronuciation. that said, it still has English as it's linguistic parent.

[Feytalist]

He speaks Parkin Syndrome.

With a side order of Not Giving A ****.

[Asta Kask]

well, one could argue that he speaks a very local dialect where proper pronuciation has made place for grunts, wails, profanity, moans and other indiscriminte sounds not showing any glint of pronuciation. that said, it still has English as it's linguistic parent.

He's from Birmingham. Apparently the people of Birmingham speak some kind of linguistic isolate unrelied to any other language. Possibly a relict of a pre-Indo European Europe.

[Socratov]

could absolutely be. I still think it has enough of an anglo-saxon influence to be called English (or at the very least English related)

[Mercenary Pen]

He's from Birmingham. Apparently the people of Birmingham speak some kind of linguistic isolate unrelied to any other language. Possibly a relict of a pre-Indo European Europe.

I really hope you weren't planning to visit anywhere near Birmingham in the near future- last thing we need is someone putting their foot in their mouth...

[Mutant Sheep]

Obviously he speaks American. A certain dialect, but the obvious FREEDOM and WEIRDNESS of him is pure Americinium. Which, I found out, is an actual element.

[Mercenary Pen]

Obviously he speaks American. A certain dialect, but the obvious FREEDOM and WEIRDNESS of him is pure Americinium. Which, I found out, is an actual element.

Nope, doesn't wash cause he is a Brit

[Elemental]

Obviously he speaks American. A certain dialect, but the obvious FREEDOM and WEIRDNESS of him is pure Americinium. Which, I found out, is an actual element.

Americium.
Isn't it highly radioactive and found in spent nuclear fuel?

[Devmaar]

**** no! I hate work!

Like, despise it beyond all reasonable extents. I just do it anway, and even then, only after as much procrastination as possible. (Like, I started my weekend's worth of homework about forty minutes ago.)

Frankly, I have no idea how I'm doing well in school at all. By certain definitions of well. I dropped to a B in History becuase my History teacher lost two assignments I did. OH, AND she lost that massive essay I spent three hours on after grading it, and I'm not even sure what I got on it.

Anyway, the Whovian Intellectual is the least *******y of them. He actually compliments me sometimes! And stuff.

<grumbles about my RL friends being as ardent shippers as y'all and immediately assuming Not-As-*******y-Intellectual-Whovian-******* and I were destined together.>

People always assume I'm a hard worker just because I get good grades. My A-level maths teacher always used to say there was a strong correlation between homeworks completed and grades achieved, I was an outlier.

Americium.
Isn't it highly radioactive and found in spent nuclear fuel?

And smoke alarms

[Amidus Drexel]

People always assume I'm a hard worker just because I get good grades. My A-level maths teacher always used to say there was a strong correlation between homeworks completed and grades achieved, I was an outlier.



And smoke alarms

True fact: It is not practical to collect smoke alarms for the radioactive metals found inside.

[Devmaar]

True fact: It is not practical to collect smoke alarms for the radioactive metals found inside.

...
I may have to re-evaluate some life choices

[Dimonite]

True fact: It is not practical to collect smoke alarms for the radioactive metals found inside.

Well, yeah. Of course! I collect them so I can combine all their speakers into the loudest, most annoying sound ever! Then, with my complete control over the world's supply of earplugs, I will TAKE OVER THE TRI-STATE AREA!

[Elemental]

Well, yeah. Of course! I collect them so I can combine all their speakers into the loudest, most annoying sound ever! Then, with my complete control over the world's supply of earplugs, I will TAKE OVER THE TRI-STATE AREA!

Why not just build a system of speakers to do the job? After all, if a smoke alarm has been thrown out, its speaker may be damaged...

[MoonCat]

Well, listen to him! That's not english. I don't know what it is, but it's not english.

Must've been French, because I understood him.

People always assume I'm a hard worker just because I get good grades. My A-level maths teacher always used to say there was a strong correlation between homeworks completed and grades achieved, I was an outlier.

Hey, my math teacher too! It's sort of gotten irritating how he spends so much time lecturing about it when I know his isn't the only way.

[Kneenibble]

Well, yeah. Of course! I collect them so I can combine all their speakers into the loudest, most annoying sound ever! Then, with my complete control over the world's supply of earplugs, I will TAKE OVER THE TRI-STATE AREA!

The borders of your kingdom in this way, with its foundation of aggressive stridence, shall butt up against mine uncomfortably; ours is a nation of serenity whose peace your kakophony threatens to disrupt; this aggression will not stand, and my people imprecate your scheming.

In this tea-washed chamber of my thoughts, two modes of recourse arise. Either I must now make good on certain promises, made to you through a certain video you stumbled upon [which now seems to me more by the clockwork of fate than by the unseen machine of chance]; or I must take an unsubtle stand; take it to the street, as they say. Hmm. I do not feel subtle this day.

BRING HIM DOWN

Spoiler

Show

[Dimonite]

The borders of your kingdom in this way, with its foundation of aggressive stridence, shall butt up against mine uncomfortably; ours is a nation of serenity whose peace your kakophony threatens to disrupt; this aggression will not stand, and my people imprecate your scheming.

In this tea-washed chamber of my thoughts, two modes of recourse arise in my mind. Either I must now make good on certain promises, made to you through a certain video you stumbled upon [which now seems to me more by the clockwork of fate than by the unseen machine of chance]; or I must take an unsubtle stand; take it to the street, as they say. Hmm. I do not feel subtle this day.

BRING HIM DOWN

Spoiler

Show

What, are you planning on taking most of Minnesota? I'm just gonna grab the area where Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Iowa border each other. This will give me large control over the American electoral primaries, but I shouldn't be treading on your toes (or talons, as the case may be) too much.

Also: MOST. ADORABLE. THREAT. EVER.

[Kneenibble]

What, are you planning on taking most of Minnesota? I'm just gonna grab the area where Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Iowa border each other. This will give me large control over the American electoral primaries, but I shouldn't be treading on your toes (or talons, as the case may be) too much.

Also: MOST. ADORABLE. THREAT. EVER.

A modest conquest: but no smoke-alarm tyrant can be satisfied with his first plunder. You shall crave again the exhileration of shrill victory which no frantic waving of your enemies' teatowels might disperse.

Alas, my people face a great barrier to being taken seriously in these matters... *sneezes and jingles a little shiny bell toy*

[Teddy]

Hmm, I wonder how many smoke alarms you'd need to get to build a working nuke...

[LaZodiac]

Hmm, I wonder how many smoke alarms you'd need to get to build a working nuke...

Going to assume infinity plus one, since I don't think you CAN build a nuke from smoke detectors.

[Amidus Drexel]

Hmm, I wonder how many smoke alarms you'd need to get to build a working nuke...

Well, the average smoke alarm has .29 micrograms of the stuff Americuim (could've sworn you mentioned it). I wonder how much you need to get a chain reaction?

Critical mass of Americuim 241 (the kind they use in smoke detectors) is 66kg.
TIME FOR DIMENSIONAL ANALYSIS!!!

2.27586*(10^11), or 227,586,000,000 smoke detectors.

All credit for my work goes to Wolfram Alpha.

[Teddy]

Going to assume infinity plus one, since I don't think you CAN build a nuke from smoke detectors.

Well, I think differently.

Well, the average smoke alarm has .29 micrograms of the stuff. I wonder how much you need to get a chain reaction?

Please hold for more research/math.

According to Wikipedia, the critical mass for ²⁴²Am is 57,6-75,6 kg, so with 0,28 µg per smoke detector, you'd only need...
*counts in head*
...roughly 250'000'000 smoke detectors to build a working nuke.

Clearly, with these numbers on the table we should ban all smoke detectors ASAP, lest terrorists could use such an easily accessible household appliance for the creation of weapons of mass destructions.

EDIT:
Ninja'd (but with credits to Wikipedia, and some concideration paid to uncertainities in what the critical mass actually is for ²⁴²Am)...

[Amidus Drexel]

Well, I think differently.



According to Wikipedia, the critical mass for ²⁴²Am is 57,6-75,6 kg, so with 0,28 µg per smoke detector, you'd only need...
*counts in head*
...roughly 250'000'000 smoke detectors to build a working nuke.

Clearly, with these numbers on the table we should ban all smoke detectors ASAP, lest terrorists could use such an easily accessible household appliance for the creation of weapons of mass destructions.

EDIT:
Ninja'd (but with credits to Wikipedia, and some concideration paid to uncertainities in what the critical mass actually is for ²⁴²Am)...

Heh, we're using two different isotopes anyways.

[Dimonite]

A modest conquest: but no smoke-alarm tyrant can be satisfied with his first plunder. You shall crave again the exhileration of shrill victory which no frantic waving of your enemies' teatowels might disperse.

Alas, my people face a great barrier to being taken seriously in these matters... *sneezes and jingles a little shiny bell toy*

How about this: I'll promise to spread my conquest mostly to the south, and you let me ride a moose every now and then. Sound like a fair deal?

SQEEEEEEE!
*ahem*
I mean, yeah, that's kinda cute. I guess.

[Coidzor]

That way you can do the work and I can go punch intellectual Whovians in the face. With a tiny tiny fist.

Ah, that's taking me back to Dwarf Fortress... One of my friends decided to make his dwarves have litters of about 70 or so in order to get his population up on an isolation game after a freak accident hamstrung his working population.

One thing lead to another and trolls with goblinite got into his fortress only to run into the mass of infants who were tantrumming because their mother died. Tiny, tiny fists of rage...




How to win friends and influence people, Moonie. Read it. Master it. Make all bow down before your unstoppable power.

[Amidus Drexel]

How to win friends and influence people, Moonie. Read it. Master it. Make all bow down before your unstoppable power.

How to lose friends and alienate people always seemed like an easier subject matter to grasp.

[Teddy]

Heh, we're using two different isotopes anyways.

Whoops, I totally intended to write ²⁴¹Am, but must have mixed up my thoughts at the time of writing (happens to me all the time). Studying your numbers, however, I think you're off by a factor of 1000. 0,29 µg = 2,9 * 10^-7 g. Multiplying that with roughly two hundred billions will give several tons of Americium, which would yield you quite a magnificient show should you ever manage to gather such an amount in the same spot.

[Amidus Drexel]

Whoops, I totally intended to write ²⁴¹Am, but must have mixed up my thoughts at the time of writing (happens to me all the time). Studying your numbers, however, I think you're off by a factor of 1000. 0,29 µg = 2,9 * 10^-7 g. Multiplying that with roughly two hundred billions will give several tons of Americium, which would yield you quite a magnificient show should you ever manage to gather such an amount in the same spot.

Hrm, that number did look a little big. I'll trust you on this one, because I'm a little too lazy to go back and check my math.

Eh, whatever. It's only three orders of magnitude. That couldn't possibly be important.

[Kneenibble]

I wish I could math ;___;

I was so good at it as a teenager, and then I made all the wrong choices...

How about this: I'll promise to spread my conquest mostly to the south, and you let me ride a moose every now and then. Sound like a fair deal?

SQEEEEEEE!
*ahem*
I mean, yeah, that's kinda cute. I guess.

This deal is, to us, but provisionally fair; although you might have bartered for polar bear rides, since your territories are possessed of their own meese. However, we should like to know if -- given that we have entered a treaty -- our prior habits of sitting on your shoulder and nibbling your ear would reduce our dignity in your eyes and thus encourage liberties upon the treaty's terms. This, too, has become a consistent difficulty for our people in such matters.