Goblins X: Orcs fall, everybody dies (horribly)

[willpell]

Been crawling through the archives during the NYE/D-week wait, and today got up to the fight between Complains-of-Names and Sergeant Bremick in the Brassmoon Elites' barracks. And I noticed something interesting in this strip - Bremick mentions getting a circumstance bonus from watching Complains fight and "seeing all his moves". (A bonus to what, he doesn't specify; I'm guessing Armor Class since he doesn't swiftly kill Complains, as he would with a bonus to damage or even attack, but rather the fight is about even until Complains rages and then it swiftly turns in his favor, partly due to the rage but it also seems as though he's having a *much* easier time doing damage.)

I wonder if there's a houserule in Thunt's hypothetical campaign which formalizes such bonuses, and whether such a rule homebrewed for use in actual play would be a good way of making fighters suck less. (Perhaps this is not a new idea on my part; I haven't read the old threads from back then, on account of OMFGNO.)

Also, the Axe of Prissan is exactly the sort of thing I would put in one of my campaigns - a Rule of Cool item that arrives after milking an underpowered character's completely unwinnable encounter for drama, and turns it into an epic victory which raises the awesome factor for the entire campaign. Game balance is overrated, IMO; it's a good guideline for making sure that the campaign's default basis is not arbitrary, but the moment you have an opportunity to do something this great, you shouldn't hesitate just because it's "unfair"...you just need to make sure that the other players will also get their turn. (Which, to date, has happened for pretty much everybody except maybe Vorpal, depending on whether you could "getting taken seriously enough for someone to torture you" as a Crowning Moment of Awesome for a character historically defined by their incompetence.)

[John Campbell]

Been crawling through the archives during the NYE/D-week wait, and today got up to the fight between Complains-of-Names and Sergeant Bremick in the Brassmoon Elites' barracks. And I noticed something interesting in this strip - Bremick mentions getting a circumstance bonus from watching Complains fight and "seeing all his moves". (A bonus to what, he doesn't specify; I'm guessing Armor Class since he doesn't swiftly kill Complains, as he would with a bonus to damage or even attack, but rather the fight is about even until Complains rages and then it swiftly turns in his favor, partly due to the rage but it also seems as though he's having a *much* easier time doing damage.)

I wonder if there's a houserule in Thunt's hypothetical campaign which formalizes such bonuses, and whether such a rule homebrewed for use in actual play would be a good way of making fighters suck less. (Perhaps this is not a new idea on my part; I haven't read the old threads from back then, on account of OMFGNO.)

Yeah, an insignificant bonus that's only applicable against other fighter-types that kicks in a few rounds after the casters have won the fight if you've spent the entire encounter just standing around watching is exactly what fighters need to suck less.

[Yuki Akuma]

In addition to being a legitimate Chinese invention.

Kore's crossbow is nothing like a real repeating crossbow - it's more like a shotgun in that it fires all of its bolts at once, whereas a repeating crossbow just lets you fire one bolt after another without having to reload manually each time.

[Marnath]

Kore's crossbow is nothing like a real repeating crossbow - it's more like a shotgun in that it fires all of its bolts at once, whereas a repeating crossbow just lets you fire one bolt after another without having to reload manually each time.

He can do that too. He had some left there, because he never reloaded after wasting Chief. He shot him, and then tortured him.

New strip is up.

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Minmax, stop. Just stop. You're doing it wrong, and it hurts to watch you.

[Giggling Ghast]

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Methinks this was an alternate MinMax that ran afoul of the undead versions of the party. Undead MinMax was definitely far more rotted and this fellow still has fresh blood on him. Plus, he appears to be sporting a head wound that would be consistent with a brain-eating zombie's bite.

Those poor undead creatures. MinMax's brain would make for meager nourishment.

[t209]

Oh crud!

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Walker Minmax!

[Marnath]

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Methinks this was an alternate MinMax that ran afoul of the undead versions of the party. Undead MinMax was definitely far more rotted and this fellow still has fresh blood on him. Plus, he appears to be sporting a head wound that would be consistent with a brain-eating zombie's bite.

Those poor undead creatures. MinMax's brain would make for meager nourishment.

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Alternatively, it's juicier and more tender because it doesn't get used. The best steaks come from animals that don't exercise much ,after all.

[snoopy13a]

I think it is time to retire the "Minmax gets big words mixed up" jokes.

[willpell]

I think it is time to retire the "Minmax gets big words mixed up" jokes.

Yeah, you would think by now Kin would have given up on trying to get through to him, at least while they're busy adventuring. Instead of explaining, in her place I would just go "Nevermind...."

[Traab]

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How dangerous is a zombie to a group at their level anyways? Also, they heard what sounded like Kin, so they may have either a small group of zombies to fight, or as much as an apocalypse.

[The Linker]

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Though there's obvious zombie-like behavior going on here, I remember Thunt specifically saying that we wouldn't see the zombies again; so I don't think they'd be any sort of influence to the plot. i.e. I don't think this is an alt who met said Zombie Minmax.

I think this is just an alt!Minmax who got a chunk of his brain knocked out and he's now reduced to stumbling around.

But, time will tell, right? Certainly seems to be something going on with his eyes.

[Susano-wo]

I wouldnt say retire the misunderstanding big words joke...but at least give it some rest, yaknow? That and this one just wants funny. Ah Well. "The jokes can't all be good. You've gotta expect that once in a while."

[willpell]

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But, time will tell, right? Certainly seems to be something going on with his eyes.

Alien Aberration brain slug, perhaps? There are several versions of this - Tsochari, Mockery Bugs, something in the Fiend Folio I think - or it could be yet another Thuntastic homebrew, like Mr. Fingers or Klik's race or the Yellow Musk Not-So-Much-Creeper-As-Stomper. (I love that Thunt never lets the rules stop him from being awesome.)

[Marnath]

Yeah, you would think by now Kin would have given up on trying to get through to him, at least while they're busy adventuring. Instead of explaining, in her place I would just go "Nevermind...."

Kin strikes me as the opposite sort, the ones who simply can't let it go until they've successfully explained it.

I don't see how anyone could expect the jokes to stop, when one character doesn't understand anything and the other understands almost everything and also has a compulsion to use large words. You should probably get used to Minmax doing that, because if I had to guess it's going to be the majority of their interactions with each other, pretty much out of necessity.

[Thomar_of_Uointer]

Kin strikes me as the opposite sort, the ones who simply can't let it go until they've successfully explained it.

And this is why Kin and MinMax are perfect for each other.

[Draconi Redfir]

ten gold says it's just a very wounded and sore minmax doing it's best to escape some horrible fate and is seaking help.

[headwarpage]

I was guessing slain Minmax animated by the group that's coming. Not sure whether it's that group's Minmax or another group's that they've killed, though.

[Traab]

ten gold says it's just a very wounded and sore minmax doing it's best to escape some horrible fate and is seaking help.

He is missing a chunk of his skull, his wounds appear to have stopped bleeding, and his eyes are white. Its pretty certain he is an undead of some sort. But I want to reask my question, for a party of their level and size, how dangerous is a standard zombie to them? If I had to guess I would say not very though. First of all, forgath is a cleric, they get some good undead fighting spells right? Also, that sword of minmaxes nearly decapitated a damn high end demon with one swing. I dont think it will have much trouble cutting undead-max in half.

[Starbuck_II]

He is missing a chunk of his skull, his wounds appear to have stopped bleeding, and his eyes are white. Its pretty certain he is an undead of some sort. But I want to reask my question, for a party of their level and size, how dangerous is a standard zombie to them? If I had to guess I would say not very though. First of all, forgath is a cleric, they get some good undead fighting spells right? Also, that sword of minmaxes nearly decapitated a damn high end demon with one swing. I dont think it will have much trouble cutting undead-max in half.

What if the sword has a flaw like Brillant Energy weapons: Can't hurt constructs or undead?
I mean, we don't know for sure the weapons limitations.

If it is a standard zombie, then it is nothing to them: likely won't even get much exp.
Clerics don't few undead fighting spells actually (at low levels there is just cure spells and searing light; high level they have multiple): they just can turn undead a class feature.

[The Glyphstone]

What if the sword has a flaw like Brillant Energy weapons: Can't hurt constructs or undead?
I mean, we don't know for sure the weapons limitations.

If it is a standard zombie, then it is nothing to them: likely won't even get much exp.
Clerics don't few undead fighting spells actually (at low levels there is just cure spells and searing light; high level they have multiple): they just can turn undead a class feature.

They're only level 3, though. CR 1/2 is still enough to award XP.

[willpell]

But I want to reask my question, for a party of their level and size, how dangerous is a standard zombie to them?

A standard zombie? Prolly not much. One of Herbert's homebrew creations, particularly if he's seen "28 days later" or something? No telling. Undead are one of the classic "as nasty as the DM wants them to be" things. You can't randomly just make a bear shoot flames out of its eyes without it ceasing to be a bear, but staying within "zombie" territory allows you to do all sorts of nastiness - disease, negative levels, conversion, flesh-eating, ability damage, the sky's the limit.

Also, that sword of minmaxes nearly decapitated a damn high end demon with one swing. I dont think it will have much trouble cutting undead-max in half.

That would just mean there would be two half-zombies, both still trying to eat Minmax's brain (assuming they have sharp enough vision to Spot something so tiny and hidden among so many cobwebs).

What if the sword has a flaw like Brillant Energy weapons: Can't hurt constructs or undead?
I mean, we don't know for sure the weapons limitations.

I see absolutely no reason to think that an oblivion-blade would have such restrictions.

[GloatingSwine]

If it is a standard zombie, then it is nothing to them: likely won't even get much exp.

It's a minmaxed zombie though....

[Yuki Akuma]

A zombified Minmax would increase his Strength by 2 and decrease his Dexterity by 2, so he'd still be pretty powerful compared to an average 12 Str/8 Dex zombie.

He loses all of his class features and bonus feats, though, so he shouldn't be much of a threat.

On the other hand, this is Thunt, so for all we know zombies in his games retain all of their class features for no good reason.

[willpell]

On the other hand, this is Thunt, so for all we know zombies in his games retain all of their class features because they totally should and that'd be awesome.

Fixed that for you.

[Yuki Akuma]

Fixed that for you.

Never do that again.

This is not a joke. I hate that.

[willpell]

Never do that again.

This is not a joke. I hate that.

Understood. I apologize. (I will apologize again if I forget later, as I've a lousy memory. If it's really important to you, I'd suggest putting a disclaimer in your sig so that nobody can claim ignorance of your preferences; that's what I did after all.)

[Draconi Redfir]

He is missing a chunk of his skull, his wounds appear to have stopped bleeding, and his eyes are white. Its pretty certain he is an undead of some sort. But I want to reask my question, for a party of their level and size, how dangerous is a standard zombie to them? If I had to guess I would say not very though. First of all, forgath is a cleric, they get some good undead fighting spells right? Also, that sword of minmaxes nearly decapitated a damn high end demon with one swing. I dont think it will have much trouble cutting undead-max in half.

he has a visible CUT in his head wich for all we know could just be skin, and the one eye we can see properly is the same one Minmax has as all white, for all we know the other could habe been swiped out in a similer way.

IDK. Just looks like a "help me!" moment rather then a "braaaiins" moment to me.

[Miklus]

I still don't get the blood splatter pattern on the walls. It looks like the roof will come down and crush everyone, then move back up and draw blood up along the walls. But why is there no blood on the floor then?

I just noticed... the blood is only near the strange lamps. That does no help my confusion... Maybe it's just part of the décor after all?

Also notice that zombie-minmax is all gray, a sure sign of undead status. And there is a second shadow behind him. It appears to be shorter... undead Forgath?

[dextercorvia]

Understood. I apologize. (I will apologize again if I forget later, as I've a lousy memory. If it's really important to you, I'd suggest putting a disclaimer in your sig so that nobody can claim ignorance of your preferences; that's what I did after all.)

Fortunately there is a reminder for all of us, which I found the hard way.

[The Linker]

Fortunately there is a reminder for all of us, which I found the hard way.

...I have no idea what you're trying to say.

Are... are 'fixed that for you's infractable?