D&D Demotivators Episode VIII: [Demotivating Intensifies]

[Hiro Protagonest]

...I made this a while back, but don't think I ever posted it. I think I was going to make some others and post it with them.

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[Leviting]

Here's a poster I've been meaning to make for a while.

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what barbarian? all I see is a pirate.

[Time Blossom]

And now, an ode to the most spiteful piece of equipment you will ever own:

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Yes, really.

Double secret bonus points if you use it on the Tarrasque.
I know it doesn't work, but it would be hilarious if it did.

[Erik Vale]

Extra bonus points for being a really useless material. Chance to contract yourself, low save, and the damage does basically nothing [apply 1 per week, minimum heal 1/day... Fatigued however is more annoying.]

[Ralanr]

Here's a poster I've been meaning to make for a while.

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Best. Disguise. Ever.

Love that show.

[Time Blossom]

Extra bonus points for being a really useless material. Chance to contract yourself, low save, and the damage does basically nothing [apply 1 per week, minimum heal 1/day... Fatigued however is more annoying.]

I operate under the assumption that it's supposed to be Cha drain rather than Cha damage, given the description of "wounds that do not heal" and "permanently disfigured[d]." Otherwise even a Level 1 Commoner could deal with it.

"Oh, can't go out today, Gerald, my leprosy's flaring up. I'll hit you up tomorrow."

It's leprosy. Leprosy does not work that way.

(On the other hand, Viridium is cheaper than masterwork and brittle to boot, so... ja.)

Anyway, more Pathfinder love:

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[endoperez]

I operate under the assumption that it's supposed to be Cha drain rather than Cha damage, given the description of "wounds that do not heal" and "permanently disfigured[d]." Otherwise even a Level 1 Commoner could deal with it.

"Oh, can't go out today, Gerald, my leprosy's flaring up. I'll hit you up tomorrow."

It's leprosy. Leprosy does not work that way.

(On the other hand, Viridium is cheaper than masterwork and brittle to boot, so... ja.)

Anyway, more Pathfinder love:

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So... Two World Magic lets you take a weak spell/power that your class doesn't already have, and Sheer Cold is a chance-of-instakill ability that a Magicarp can get in some way?

[Necroticplague]

So... Two World Magic lets you take a weak spell/power that your class doesn't already have, and Sheer Cold is a chance-of-instakill ability that a Magicarp can get in some way?

That "in some way" is blatant hacking. It's not possible for a magicarp to have it normally. No amount of breeding will do the trick.

[Slipperychicken]

Just a little bit of tax:

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[the pic looked familiar to me, so someone let me know if the poster was made before]

[toapat]

That "in some way" is blatant hacking. It's not possible for a magicarp to have it normally. No amount of breeding will do the trick.

actually thats a specific pokemon distributed in Japan, its technically a magicarp but it has a more liberal move list, which natively includes Hydropump.

[Ralanr]

Just a little bit of tax:

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[the pic looked familiar to me, so someone let me know if the poster was made before]

Where is that from?

[Fable Wright]

Where is that from?

The rather dark manga Terrafor MARS.

[endoperez]

That "in some way" is blatant hacking. It's not possible for a magicarp to have it normally. No amount of breeding will do the trick.

Oookay?

The demotivator doesn't make any sense then. Two obscure bits of information, one in the "core phrase", the other in the details of the image, that must be understood the connection that's tenuous to begin with.

It could be made into two perfectly good demotivators, but this one doesn't work.

A Magicarp poster about godfish, giving a goldfish godlike powers, or a reference to a power boost that's easy to understand would work. I'll leave that to the OP, but the Two World Magic idea is too good to pass on, so I'll do that myself. Hope he doesn't mind...

*time passes*

I had a bit of trouble finding any good images for it. The best/simplest/most recognizable things I could come up with (a wizard in crusader garb, a real-world priest photoshopped to cast a fireball etc.) don't seem to have any easily-uncovered imagery for that. Any way:

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[Spore]

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[Time Blossom]

actually thats a specific pokemon distributed in Japan, its technically a magicarp but it has a more liberal move list, which natively includes Hydropump.

o.O
ow, I guess some people really do take Skill Focus: Knowledge(Nature)!

The demotivator doesn't make any sense then. Two obscure bits of information, one in the "core phrase", the other in the details of the image, that must be understood the connection that's tenuous to begin with.

Two World Magic is all about having spells you're not supposed to have. Magikarp is pretty famous for using Splash and not really doing anything else. It seemed a pretty straight connection to me!
(Admittedly, it would've worked better with some silly-powerful Pokemon using Splash instead, but I couldn't find a picture of one of those and couldn't be bothered to make one.)

Anyway, I'm not sure how wizards using lightsabers makes any more sense, but I'll take the derivation as a compliment anyway! ^.^
Also it gave me an idea for a poster, so double-thanks!

Spoiler: The Resulting Poster

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Yes, I know he's canonically not an elf. But he hides his ears under all that hair, so can you ever really be sure?

[Slipperychicken]

Yes, I know he's canonically not an elf. But he hides his ears under all that hair, so can you ever really be sure?

Wikipedia tells me that Gandalfr (from which his name is derived) basically means "Magic Elf". So it's kind of like if an Old Norse person played D&D and was really uncreative about naming his elf wizard.

[Mrc.]

Wikipedia tells me that Gandalfr (from which his name is derived) basically means "Magic Elf". So it's kind of like if an Old Norse person played D&D and was really uncreative about naming his elf wizard.

I believe that in one of Wagner's operas there was a wise old figure named Gandalf that may have influenced Tolkein. Might be mis-remembering though

[Eldan]

I believe that in one of Wagner's operas there was a wise old figure named Gandalf that may have influenced Tolkein. Might be mis-remembering though

This one, probably. Note that despite the name "Magic Elf", he's a dwarf. Because the borders between elves and dwarves really aren't all that clear in Norse mythology. If Wagner has Gandalf as a character, he probably based it on those sagas.

[Ksheep]

This one, probably. Note that despite the name "Magic Elf", he's a dwarf. Because the borders between elves and dwarves really aren't all that clear in Norse mythology. If Wagner has Gandalf as a character, he probably based it on those sagas.

IIRC, it's not so much that the distinction between Elf and Dwarf was unclear in Norse and Germanic mythology, but rather that Elf was a classification for all supernatural human-like creatures, including Dwarves (and potentially Fairies, depending on your source). Then again, some sources say that Fairies were the higher-tier grouping, and that both Elf and Dwarf fall under the Fairy category. Not sure if there's any people that say "a Dwarf is a type of Elf which is a type of Fairy", however.

Then again, I may be mixing my mythologies again… and possibly adding a dash of modern media interpretations, further muddying the whole situation.

[Ralanr]

Pretty sure that wizards in Tolkien's universe are pretty much a separate species. Since they were angels given mortal form...or something, I don't know.

[Spore]

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[Arbane]

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Don't be silly. There's also alignment, female armor, and how a female character is holding her bow.

[Slipperychicken]

Don't be silly. There's also alignment, female armor, and how a female character is holding her bow.

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[toapat]

o.O
ow, I guess some people really do take Skill Focus: Knowledge(Nature)!

incorrect, i have max cross class ranks in Know: Everything

[endoperez]

Anyway, I'm not sure how wizards using lightsabers makes any more sense, but I'll take the derivation as a compliment anyway! ^.^
Also it gave me an idea for a poster, so double-thanks![/spoiler]

There aren't many other types of "magic users who are not wizards" in non-D&D settings. I couldn't find anything similar to divine/arcane connection, so I had to get by with a Jedi/Wizard mix.

In hindsight, Bard would've worked as well.

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[Sith_Happens]

and how a female character is holding her bow.

I've never heard of this one being a thing, actually.

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As far as I can tell, the bow is the only thing not noteworthy about that pose.

[Arbane]

I've never heard of this one being a thing, actually.

Not on this forum, I guess. On another one I frequent, any pic of a woman with a bow results in three pages of nitpicking.

[Eldan]

Allow me to demonstrate:

Women do not have the upper body strength necessary to be good at archery. They can't fire proper English longbows.
Amazons cut off their breasts so they could fire bows. Clearly, busty women could never hold a bow right.
Women should fire ranged weapons instead of getting into close combat, where they couldn't keep up with men.


And so on.

[Spore]

Allow me to demonstrate:

Women do not have the upper body strength necessary to be good at archery. They can't fire proper English longbows.
Amazons cut off their breasts so they could fire bows. Clearly, busty women could never hold a bow right.
Women should fire ranged weapons instead of getting into close combat, where they couldn't keep up with men.


And so on.

You forgot:

"Her armor is so unpractical. It shows her weakspots."
"Her armor is so unpractical. How would you pull a bow with that sturdy armor?"

[NikitaDarkstar]

Considering where this is going this seems oddly fitting.

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