My Little Pony LXXXI: All Of These Ponies Are Crazy!

[DigoDragon]

Nah, man, there's just a pony out there with a talent for miniature furniture who has nothing better to do.

There are a lot of documented cases of urban-dwelling birds that mimic car alarms. Animals can be pretty good at mimicking people, so I figure why not ponies. Especially since Equestrian animals appear a bit more intelligent.

Then again, a really bored pony with a talent for miniature furniture is totally within the realm of possibility. :3

[Thanqol]

There are a lot of documented cases of urban-dwelling birds that mimic car alarms. Animals can be pretty good at mimicking people, so I figure why not ponies. Especially since Equestrian animals appear a bit more intelligent.

Then again, a really bored pony with a talent for miniature furniture is totally within the realm of possibility. :3

Magpies can REMEMBER HUMAN FACES. And they HOLD GRUDGES. And they pass their BLOOD FEUDS down to their CHILDREN.

They marked me for death when I was eight.

Magpies are TERRIFYING.

[otakuryoga]

Magpies can REMEMBER HUMAN FACES. And they HOLD GRUDGES. And they pass their BLOOD FEUDS down to their CHILDREN.

They marked me for death when I was eight.

Magpies are TERRIFYING.

well it is your fault for doing whatever it is you did

[Thanqol]

well it is your fault for doing whatever it is you did

One time I got swooped so badly that I was bleeding from my head. Another time they came after my dog. A third time, like two weeks ago, like 20 of them chased me for half an hour, screeching and cawing, hunting in packs. I can't even count the number of near misses.

Like, I'll joke about lethal Australian wildlife and whatever, but those birds want me dead. I don't know what I did to cross them, maybe threw some sticks at one when I was in primary school? Whatever it was, they do not forget and they do not forgive

[TheAmishPirate]

One time I got swooped so badly that I was bleeding from my head. Another time they came after my dog. A third time, like two weeks ago, like 20 of them chased me for half an hour, screeching and cawing, hunting in packs. I can't even count the number of near misses.

Like, I'll joke about lethal Australian wildlife and whatever, but those birds want me dead. I don't know what I did to cross them, maybe threw some sticks at one when I was in primary school? Whatever it was, they do not forget and they do not forgive

In which it is discovered that Magpies are the secret final boss of every tabletop game Thanqol's in. And not just the ones he's running.

[DigoDragon]

well it is your fault for doing whatever it is you did

Not to lessen the fact that Magpies are indeed terrifying with their blood feuds, but... what did Thanqol do to earn a Magpie blood feud?

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In which it is discovered that Magpies are the secret final boss of every tabletop game Thanqol's in. And not just the ones he's running.

That explains the weird ending to the Star Trek game I was in...

[b_jonas]

Thanqol, have you tried to restore peace with the magpies by bribing them with tribute/presents such as food and shinies?

[Thanqol]

In which it is discovered that Magpies are the secret final boss of every tabletop game Thanqol's in. And not just the ones he's running.

Not to lessen the fact that Magpies are indeed terrifying with their blood feuds, but... what did Thanqol do to earn a Magpie blood feud?

What did I do?

What did...

Dear magpie I am so sorry
can you forgive me for this?

Queen Magpie:
NOT THE DEAD AUTHOR
WITH THE DYING BATTERY!
HERE'S MY ONE QUESTION:
WILL HE LIVE?

Magpies:
DOUBTFUL!

Crow:
YOU'RE THE ANGRY CHILD
THROWING STONES AT US

Raven:
UNDER OUR TREES YOU SAT
WE DIDN'T LIKE THAT

Queen:
BETTER START PRAYING WHEN YOU SEE US COMING

Raven:
'CAUSE WE'RE BIRDS OF CARRION

All:
WE'RE A CROW'S MURDER!

Chorus:
REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE

Thanqol:
I REMEMBER!

Chorus:
REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE

Thanqol:
I REMEMBER!

Chorus:
REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE

Thanqol:
I REMEMBER!

Thanqol:
I REMEMBER CLAWS IN MY HAIR
BLOOD I LOST THERE
I REMEMBER EVERY TIME I PASS YOU
I FLINCH AND SHUDDER
I REMEMBER
I SURRENDER

TODAY'S AVINES HAVE NO TIME FOR EQUINES
TRY TO MAKE FRIENDS AND THEY'LL EAT YOUR INSIDES
THEY'RE THE BLACK CORVIDS
WITH UNBLINKING EYELIDS
MAKE YOUR MOMMA MOURN YOU

All:
THEY'RE A CROW'S MURDER

Thanqol:
... I remember...

Thanqol, have you tried to restore peace with the magpies by bribing them with tribute/presents such as food and shinies?

No.

[DigoDragon]

Thanqol:
... I remember...

That was epic!!
*Standing Ovation* +300 Exp, +2 Roses thrown on stage

(Incidentally, searching for 'Pony Standing Ovation' yields an awful lot of NSFW artwork... O.o`)

[Rater202]

Magpies can REMEMBER HUMAN FACES. And they HOLD GRUDGES. And they pass their BLOOD FEUDS down to their CHILDREN.

They marked me for death when I was eight.

Magpies are TERRIFYING.

I remember reading about a town where crows would come in and damamge the towns crops every year.

Being a town in rural america, one year the townspeople decided to save their crops by loading their guns and getting loaded themselves.

Exactly one crow was killed in the hunt that can be confirmed.

Statistically, more of the drunkenm hunters were killed than that.

But, even though only one crow died, they have altered their migratory paterns to avoid that town ever since.

Even though all the crows in that flock would have died years ago.

The lesson: Corvids are terrifying

[Balmas]

So this

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trumps

this?

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Darn straight it does.

In which it is discovered that Magpies are the secret final boss of every tabletop game Thanqol's in. And not just the ones he's running.

Should I be frightened?

I remember reading about a town where crows would come in and damamge the towns crops every year.

Being a town in rural america, one year the townspeople decided to save their crops by loading their guns and getting loaded themselves.

Exactly one crow was killed in the hunt that can be confirmed.

Statistically, more of the drunkenm hunters were killed than that.

But, even though only one crow died, they have altered their migratory paterns to avoid that town ever since.

Even though all the crows in that flock would have died years ago.

The lesson: Corvids are terrifying

Really, if I found a town where, at any point in time, more than half the town got stinking stink and went out with shotguns, I'd leave and never come back too.

[DigoDragon]

The lesson: Corvids are terrifying

Ooh, I see Twilight got you that same dictionary for your birthday she did for mine. :3

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Really, if I found a town where, at any point in time, more than half the town got stinking stink and went out with shotguns, I'd leave and never come back too.

Yeah, I can't fault this logic. Ever.

[Aotrs Commander]

Well, they do call it a "murder" of crows for a reason, don't they...?

[DigoDragon]

Well, they do call it a "murder" of crows for a reason, don't they...?

What did they call it before they learned crows were vengeful fowl?

Well, looks like we'll have to break out the purple ninjas.

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On the other hoof, we might need a pony who can tank.

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And we know Tanks can dish it out too!

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[Tiki Snakes]

Thanqol, have you tried to restore peace with the magpies by bribing them with tribute/presents such as food and shinies?

No.

Maybe you should?

The lesson: Corvids are terrifying

No, see it's worse. Corvids are really freakin smart. And magpies in particular are quite astonishingly swashbuckling about life. They will frequently mess with predator species, essentially for fun.
My Dad used to Birdwatch a fair bit back in the day. He told me this story about one time when he was watching a hawk of some kind, dozing in a tree. He had a real good view of it, as it was completely sound asleep on this branch in broad daylight.

He spots a single magpie. It slowly, carefully hops up into the tree, short bursts of flight. It makes it's way, slow and steady all the way up to the same branch as the Hawk. Then it starts sidling along the branch, real slow, real quiet. It gets all the way right up next to the sleeping hawk, right near the delicate end of the branch.

Then it grabs the branch firmly in both feet and shakes it up and down as hard as it possibly could. The hawk falls straight out of the tree, waking up in mid-air and just about managing to not hit the ground. It completely freaked out and flew away, the single most obviously embarrassed and confused looking bird he'd ever seen. True story.

Which is to say, crows are smarter than some people and have a complex enough social structure to basically have a form of society and have a policy of taking it to things that might mess with them. I wouldn't be surprised at all if they'd shared Thanqol's description for whatever reason, but likewise, I'd say it's entirely conceivable that if that's true, he might just be able to initiate some kind of shiny-bauble based diplomatic effort to improve relations between them. I mean, maybe wear protective headgear if you try it and don't try bribing them in your own garden/neighborhood, but it might just work.

[Aotrs Commander]

This is making me think I'd not really begun to realise just how utterly TERRIFYING Dreemaenhyll's Gagana would actually be.

Imagine a 5-6' tall crow with falcon wings and metal bones which is SMARTER THAN YOU.

Some of them breath lasers.

[Rater202]

This is making me think I'd not really begun to realise just how utterly TERRIFYING Dreemaenhyll's Gagana would actually be.

Imagine a 5-6' tall crow with falcon wings and metal bones which is SMARTER THAN YOU.

Some of them breath lasers.

Breaking Character for a minute, those are going on my "to eat" list.

[DigoDragon]

Edit: I was browsing a Skyrim wiki for glitches and I found this:

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Pony has so ingrained itself in our brain. XD

Which is to say, crows are smarter than some people

This is making me think I'd not really begun to realise just how utterly TERRIFYING Dreemaenhyll's Gagana would actually be.

I think I just figured out a really efficient planetary defense... from itself anyway.
(Obviously outside invaders would just nuke it from orbit)

[Forum Explorer]

One time I got swooped so badly that I was bleeding from my head. Another time they came after my dog. A third time, like two weeks ago, like 20 of them chased me for half an hour, screeching and cawing, hunting in packs. I can't even count the number of near misses.

Like, I'll joke about lethal Australian wildlife and whatever, but those birds want me dead. I don't know what I did to cross them, maybe threw some sticks at one when I was in primary school? Whatever it was, they do not forget and they do not forgive

Ouch. I've never had any problems with birds, they'll even get pretty close when I'm reading outside.

[otakuryoga]

Magpies are TERRIFYING.

remember...stealth dinosaurs

[Kd7sov]

Ouch. I've never had any problems with birds, they'll even get pretty close when I'm reading outside.

For a while this spring/summer there was a set that I guess had a nest right by my church. So they harassed me every time I went in or out. Never actually got attacked, but I felt like I was about to more than once.

I'll take birds over arthropods any day, though. Feathers don't freak me out to look at.

[Fable Wright]

I'll take birds over arthropods any day, though. Feathers don't freak me out to look at.

Really? You'd take mostly harmless insects over unforgiving aerial beasts that will remember you and follow you home?

Seriously. Magpies are known to camp on power lines outside marks' houses for weeks to wait for a chance to attack. You'd rather deal with them than adorable little millipedes or spiders?

[SiuiS]

Really, if I found a town where, at any point in time, more than half the town got stinking stink and went out with shotguns, I'd leave and never come back too.

Being outside while the drunks with shotguns are outside with shotguns while drunk is not the smartest way to deal with drunk shotgunners being a thing. Just sayin'.


*


Gotta say, if you've had a lifelong feud with a species and haven't bothered to defuse or win the situation, it's hard to empathize. You'd be better off finding a different bunch of forbids and making them love you and propagating a corvid war wherein the lovable and good-natured defenders fight off the ancient feuding demon birds.

[Pokonic]

Well for one it does mean that I've been underestimating the animals' level of intelligence.


Also it does raise the question of who gave them the stove in the first place? Also why and what do they use it for?

(Though admittedly, my brain jumped to the answer that Fluttershy gave it to them, and they've set it up as sort of an extra home for her.)

In a world where a rabbit can write and goats can set up stage equipment, a bear having a stove isn't the thing that raises the most questions.

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of what I assume will be the final boss for Thanqol's fallout game, until proven otherwise.

[Thanqol]

Gotta say, if you've had a lifelong feud with a species and haven't bothered to defuse or win the situation, it's hard to empathize. You'd be better off finding a different bunch of forbids and making them love you and propagating a corvid war wherein the lovable and good-natured defenders fight off the ancient feuding demon birds.

Birds do not negotiate. Do I have to sing the song again?

In a world where a rabbit can write and goats can set up stage equipment, a bear having a stove isn't the thing that rises the most questions.

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of what I assume will be the final boss for Thanqol's fallout game, until proven otherwise.

Curses, foiled again!

[SiuiS]

Birds do not negotiate. Do I have to sing the song again?

They told me cats couldn't be trained and didn't respect their people, too. I've made a cat heel away from a cheeseburger. His price was cuddles.

By which I mean, yes.

So let the logic die. And let the vocals ri~se!

[Pendulous]

So, something I haven't mentioned here yet. Got a Pathfinder game going on. My character is a Vanara Scout. Vanara are humanoids with monkey qualities, including the hair, the ability to climb, and a prehensile tail (great for holding a torch). Scout is a rogue variant that basically gets its sneak attack for free every turn, and gets different talents. The reason this is relevant, is that the description of Vanara is that they are very mischievous. Mine is male, and I named him Alby. Let me show you the vague steps here. Alby is short for Albert. Albert as in Al, Weird Al. My character's personality is as best I can get to Pinkie Pie. Alby is a male version of Pinkie Pie. Not quite Cheese Sandwich, since we don't really see his quirks being similar to hers. And the DM said he really enjoys my character's playing. I'm too hesitant to tell him where it comes from.

Edit: I was browsing a Skyrim wiki for glitches and I found this:

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Pony has so ingrained itself in our brain. XD

Isn't there some kind of mod for browsers that changes all wordings to pony puns?

[Aotrs Commander]

Gotta say, if you've had a lifelong feud with a species and haven't bothered to defuse or win the situation, it's hard to empathize. You'd be better off finding a different bunch of forbids and making them love you and propagating a corvid war wherein the lovable and good-natured defenders fight off the ancient feuding demon birds.

SiuS, SiuiS, SiuiS...

Again, you make the assumption that that they WANT to negotiate.

If Thanqol never did anything to set them off, they might have just decided they like bullying him, or are Evil and don't give a frack...

They told me cats couldn't be trained and didn't respect their people, too. I've made a cat heel away from a cheeseburger. His price was cuddles.

Moreover, on a serious note: birds are not mammals. They do not think like mammals, they do not interact like mammals (critically, they do not socialise or play in a way like mammals do) - and you cannot train them like mammals. "Cats can't be trained" as said by the masses is a bollocks statement anyway; I mean really, how do people think the people that do animals for telly manage if "cats couldn't be trained?" How many zookeepers have been tragically killed because the tiger wanted to play and were just too strong?

But not birds. Ask any falconer, for example, and they'll tell you that if people think Cats Are Bastards, they have never dealt with a bird of prey. They really REALLY don't care about you and barely tolerate you, to the point that every time you release them, there is a chance that they will just fly off and never come back. Every time. Same with any bird, pretty much. (Nevermind the fact the little frackers will cheerfully stick their talons into you hands and lock tight until you relax your muscle long enough to make them think your hand is dead...) That's how much of a dropping birds think you are worth, mammal. You are even considered worthy enough to be a permenant source of food shelter or medical care.

[DigoDragon]

Really? You'd take mostly harmless insects over unforgiving aerial beasts that will remember you and follow you home?

Whoa there. Let's not throw around the word 'harmless' too freely. My roommate and I had to seal a hole an ant colony made through concrete. I dunno what drove them to do that, considering they were going in the wrong direction looking for food, but dang, those things can wreck a house. :/

Though the 'WTF' award goes to the ants that took over the kitchen trashcan. You know how you can follow an ant trail back to it's nest? These ants managed to create a loop. There was no way to trace them back to home base.

I'm too hesitant to tell him where it comes from.

That sounds like an awesome character. :D

Isn't there some kind of mod for browsers that changes all wordings to pony puns?

Probably, but I think this one is genuine because the word 'somepony' only appears that one time on the site.

[Gamerlord]

I think the Hub has been reading too much grimdark Spike fanfiction.....

Edit: I was browsing a Skyrim wiki for glitches and I found this:

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Pony has so ingrained itself in our brain. XD

I confused a whole bunch of people on another forum a few days ago when I typed "Saddle Arabia" while discussing a video game without realizing it.