LGBTAI+ #52: Aces High

[Ilorin Lorati]

However,
1) A lot of clinical research is done by practicing doctors, so they are the same people.
2) Knowledge and power depend on each other. cf. Foucault's work.

Fair enough on the first one, no idea who you're talking about with the second. Personally, I would rather give a good faith effort that anyone who cares enough to do research is doing it to help people, and go from there. People make mistakes and draw faulty conclusions when they're missing data; the more responsibly gleaned and used information we have, the better understanding we'll have of what's going on. Winston Churchill once said something about Russia, and I believe it applies equally here regarding the human mind: "It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma, but perhaps there is a key."

To me, the key is understanding, which is brought about from knowledge. Some people are hurt by doctors in their effort to help, yes, but that can not and will not change if no one trusts them to try.

[golentan]

When I first realized I'm attracted to women, I was engaged to a man. So ("naturally") I came out as bi. A year later - after breaking up with my fiance - I realized I'm not into men and came out as a lesbian. A friend good-naturally teased me that I "rode the Bi-Train to Gays-ville."

I always found that phrase funny (though true, in my case).

But then you came out as a man, so... You kind of transitioned from straight to bi to straight all along a single continuum without ever backtracking, huh?

[SiuiS]

Neo, I understand. I hope your turbulence ends with you at peace.

I have to wonder how often gender fluidity is actually a long-term thing, rather than just a phase people move through on their way to coming out as trans.

Yeah. I've avoided saying anything because I can see it being taken as dismissive, but seems accurate for a large enough subset.

[KyooTrap]

So uhm, I've had a lot go on recently that I kinda just wanna vent about, feel free to ignore me:

Spoiler: adult content warning

Show

So uhm, my dad kicked me out on sunday. I'm staying with my girlfriend, but it's very tenuous because she wants to progress the relationship further (we've been dating a month maybe) and maybe collar me (for the bdsm peeps) but I've been wanting to go monogamous with my boyfriend. When I brought that up with my boyfriend he said the reason he broke up with his first boyfriend was because he was asked to be monogamous for him. So I feel like a huge idiot. And my girlfriend said I was the only thing keeping her alive (which I told her was a super unhealthy way to look at it but she said better unhealthy than dead). So I feel like super awful in every direction, like a sociopath who is only using people for what they can give me, and that I can only ever hurt people who care about me. Also this girl I've been talking to for a week asked if we were girlfriends and I told her no and I feel awful cause I was the first person she's really opened up to.
And I had sex with a chaser last Friday. I felt worthless and I wanted to be used. I really regret it now but it's in the past. It partially helped thinking I'm heteroflexible when previously I have identified as pansexual. It's a very confusing time for me.
With my dad kicking me out I also will not be able to visit my boyfriend (he lives 1000 miles away) and it will be much harder to move to the West Coast. Ugh. Sorry all.

Uhm, but I bought my first bra in a store! Well, my sister bought it... but I was right next to her. The cashier kept asking if my sister had tried it on. I was getting a 38B and my sister is a 36DDD so... yeah. Very awkward. Kinda funny in hindsight but I was so anxious I almost passed out.
And, uh, how do I look? I really need to find something to do with my mouth for photos, I dunno. I hate showing my teeth :x http://imgur.com/a/DRm0T if you had to pick something masculine for me to work on, what would you suggest? I know I need to work on my skin already...

[golentan]

So uhm, I've had a lot go on recently that I kinda just wanna vent about, feel free to ignore me:

Spoiler: adult content warning

Show

So uhm, my dad kicked me out on sunday. I'm staying with my girlfriend, but it's very tenuous because she wants to progress the relationship further (we've been dating a month maybe) and maybe collar me (for the bdsm peeps) but I've been wanting to go monogamous with my boyfriend. When I brought that up with my boyfriend he said the reason he broke up with his first boyfriend was because he was asked to be monogamous for him. So I feel like a huge idiot. And my girlfriend said I was the only thing keeping her alive (which I told her was a super unhealthy way to look at it but she said better unhealthy than dead). So I feel like super awful in every direction, like a sociopath who is only using people for what they can give me, and that I can only ever hurt people who care about me. Also this girl I've been talking to for a week asked if we were girlfriends and I told her no and I feel awful cause I was the first person she's really opened up to.
And I had sex with a chaser last Friday. I felt worthless and I wanted to be used. I really regret it now but it's in the past. It partially helped thinking I'm heteroflexible when previously I have identified as pansexual. It's a very confusing time for me.
With my dad kicking me out I also will not be able to visit my boyfriend (he lives 1000 miles away) and it will be much harder to move to the West Coast. Ugh. Sorry all.

Uhm, but I bought my first bra in a store! Well, my sister bought it... but I was right next to her. The cashier kept asking if my sister had tried it on. I was getting a 38B and my sister is a 36DDD so... yeah. Very awkward. Kinda funny in hindsight but I was so anxious I almost passed out.
And, uh, how do I look? I really need to find something to do with my mouth for photos, I dunno. I hate showing my teeth :x http://imgur.com/a/DRm0T if you had to pick something masculine for me to work on, what would you suggest? I know I need to work on my skin already...

You should make sure you're taking care of your own emotional health. Sex and relationships are really good for you if you handle them right, and really bad otherwise. It sounds to me like the issues with you girlfriend and boyfriend may be basic incompatibility issues, and if you want to go monogamous maybe acting poly isn't the right course for you. You're not doing yourself or your girlfriend any favors if you're leading her on while considering a breakup. I'd suggest trying to secure stable housing, and then tackling relationship issues.

Oh, and in case it wasn't obvious you get hugs.

[Ifni]

And, uh, how do I look? I really need to find something to do with my mouth for photos, I dunno. I hate showing my teeth :x http://imgur.com/a/DRm0T if you had to pick something masculine for me to work on, what would you suggest? I know I need to work on my skin already...

You look lovely In all of them, but especially that last one, imo, even though it's blurry: you have a gorgeous smile.

I'm not sure what I would suggest working on, as you look like a cis woman to me.

[SiuiS]

Yes to the things Golentan said.

That's... I don't know. That's a pretty shorty unhealthy place to be. I've been there. But I don't know how I got out, honestly.bi hope things get better for you. :x

[Heliomance]

And, uh, how do I look? I really need to find something to do with my mouth for photos, I dunno. I hate showing my teeth :x http://imgur.com/a/DRm0T if you had to pick something masculine for me to work on, what would you suggest? I know I need to work on my skin already...

Um, possibly your eyebrows? Seriously, there isn't much that needs working on. You look like a pretty cute girl, no questions asked. Yeah, your skin isn't the clearest, but plenty of girls don't have clear skin. Are you on hormones already? Because if you look that good without them I am majorly jealous.

ION, who's seen the latest Rain strip? :3

Also El Goonish Shive. Tedd's reaction there - yep, that's familiar!

[KyooTrap]

You should make sure you're taking care of your own emotional health. Sex and relationships are really good for you if you handle them right, and really bad otherwise. It sounds to me like the issues with you girlfriend and boyfriend may be basic incompatibility issues, and if you want to go monogamous maybe acting poly isn't the right course for you. You're not doing yourself or your girlfriend any favors if you're leading her on while considering a breakup. I'd suggest trying to secure stable housing, and then tackling relationship issues.

Oh, and in case it wasn't obvious you get hugs.

I have a really hard time taking care of myself, tbh. I can be very self-destructive. I don't think I'm in a good mental space for any intimate relationships like that right now but I still really would like to be mono with my bf. I'm trying really really hard not to lead my girlfriend on because I have had a few people tell me that's how I came across to them. I was gonna ask a couple of my friends to stay with them for a bit but I don't really have a reason to tell my girlfriend why I don't wanna stay here...
*hugs*

You look lovely In all of them, but especially that last one, imo, even though it's blurry: you have a gorgeous smile.

I'm not sure what I would suggest working on, as you look like a cis woman to me.

Ahn~ Thankie... always been self-conscious of my smile since my mother always made fun of how gross mine are >.<
oh gosh wow

Yes to the things Golentan said.

That's... I don't know. That's a pretty shorty unhealthy place to be. I've been there. But I don't know how I got out, honestly.bi hope things get better for you. :x

thankie

Um, possibly your eyebrows? Seriously, there isn't much that needs working on. You look like a pretty cute girl, no questions asked. Yeah, your skin isn't the clearest, but plenty of girls don't have clear skin. Are you on hormones already? Because if you look that good without them I am majorly jealous.

yar, I just got them threaded a week ago ish... but there was a lot there already. So there is still a lot :P I'm, uhm, 136 days on hormones! About 4.5 months~ I haven't changed much on hormones yet though to be honest...

[Heliomance]

So this is amazing.

[Jaycemonde]

So this is amazing.

And someone's already made a trashy comment that screws with the otherwise positive impact.

[Miriel]

Fair enough on the first one, no idea who you're talking about with the second. Personally, I would rather give a good faith effort that anyone who cares enough to do research is doing it to help people, and go from there. People make mistakes and draw faulty conclusions when they're missing data; the more responsibly gleaned and used information we have, the better understanding we'll have of what's going on. Winston Churchill once said something about Russia, and I believe it applies equally here regarding the human mind: "It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma, but perhaps there is a key."

To me, the key is understanding, which is brought about from knowledge. Some people are hurt by doctors in their effort to help, yes, but that can not and will not change if no one trusts them to try.

Oh, sure.

The thing is, too many researchers do their research projects, get funded from research grants, present their to fellow researchers, and The End. With a some exceptions, the people they do research on (trans people n this case) are not involved at any point in the process, except as questionnaire-filling guinea pigs. There is little effort to answer the questions trans people want to see answered, because projects are decided according to internal dynamics of the research fields. There is little effort to present the results to trans people, only to other researchers.

On point 2, I'm not good enough to summarize Foucault. But basically, amongst many other things, he would argue that by creating new truths, science creates the condition for power. Or something similar, I'm still assimilating Foucault. Anyway, the point is, scientific research is not neutral.

[Astrella]

So this is amazing.

Oh, this is neat though and relevant: One of Pathfinder's Iconics is a dwarf trans woman.

[Kittenwolf]

Oh, this is neat though and relevant: One of Pathfinder's Iconics is a dwarf trans woman.

I'm actually really impressed with how Pathfinder has been handling gender & sexuality stuff in its latest iteration. Makes me hopeful :)

So uhm, I've had a lot go on recently that I kinda just wanna vent about, feel free to ignore me:

Spoiler: adult content warning

Show

So uhm, my dad kicked me out on sunday. I'm staying with my girlfriend, but it's very tenuous because she wants to progress the relationship further (we've been dating a month maybe) and maybe collar me (for the bdsm peeps) but I've been wanting to go monogamous with my boyfriend. When I brought that up with my boyfriend he said the reason he broke up with his first boyfriend was because he was asked to be monogamous for him. So I feel like a huge idiot. And my girlfriend said I was the only thing keeping her alive (which I told her was a super unhealthy way to look at it but she said better unhealthy than dead). So I feel like super awful in every direction, like a sociopath who is only using people for what they can give me, and that I can only ever hurt people who care about me. Also this girl I've been talking to for a week asked if we were girlfriends and I told her no and I feel awful cause I was the first person she's really opened up to.
And I had sex with a chaser last Friday. I felt worthless and I wanted to be used. I really regret it now but it's in the past. It partially helped thinking I'm heteroflexible when previously I have identified as pansexual. It's a very confusing time for me.
With my dad kicking me out I also will not be able to visit my boyfriend (he lives 1000 miles away) and it will be much harder to move to the West Coast. Ugh. Sorry all.

Uhm, but I bought my first bra in a store! Well, my sister bought it... but I was right next to her. The cashier kept asking if my sister had tried it on. I was getting a 38B and my sister is a 36DDD so... yeah. Very awkward. Kinda funny in hindsight but I was so anxious I almost passed out.
And, uh, how do I look? I really need to find something to do with my mouth for photos, I dunno. I hate showing my teeth :x http://imgur.com/a/DRm0T if you had to pick something masculine for me to work on, what would you suggest? I know I need to work on my skin already...

I have to agree with what everyone has said, if I saw you in the street, or you'd posted that pic without a trans comment, I wouldn't have thought twice other than "Cute girl".

I wish you luck with your situation, I can't even imagine what being kicked out is like :(
Re: the whole girlfriend thing and collaring and new partners and all that, all I can suggest is if you're honestly curious about trying something one way or the other, and it's healthy for you to do so, then do it. Regret suck :)

Neo, I understand. I hope your turbulence ends with you at peace.

Thanks, me too.

That doesn't change the fact that I identified as gender fluid on the way through to trans, Neo is apparently doing the same

I'm not surprised that I'm not the only one. I may be wrong at the moment and will swing back the other way but.. yeah, starting to feel like "Gender fluid" was a 'safe' way to look at what I'm feeling/exploring without fully committing, if that makes sense?
*Sigh*. I just wish I knew what to do, the major things holding me back are family related, pretty much a 'do I put my own health ahead of my Dad's, who I love', and I don't think I could live with myself if I did.

[Kesnit]

But then you came out as a man, so... You kind of transitioned from straight to bi to straight all along a single continuum without ever backtracking, huh?

*chuckle* I've been a straight woman, bi woman, lesbian, and straight man (who used to have sex with men).

Spoiler

Show

Testosterone does amazing things to sex drive. I gained a real sympathy for 15 year old boys... )

Spoiler: adult content warning

Show

So uhm, my dad kicked me out on sunday. I'm staying with my girlfriend, but it's very tenuous because she wants to progress the relationship further (we've been dating a month maybe) and maybe collar me (for the bdsm peeps)

Spoiler: adult content warning

Show

Your pics look like you are already collared..?

but I've been wanting to go monogamous with my boyfriend. When I brought that up with my boyfriend he said the reason he broke up with his first boyfriend was because he was asked to be monogamous for him. So I feel like a huge idiot.

Don't feel like an idiot. You didn't know, and were only telling him how you feel. Communication is a big part of relationships, after all.

And my girlfriend said I was the only thing keeping her alive (which I told her was a super unhealthy way to look at it but she said better unhealthy than dead).

Yes, that is majorly unhealthy. There is a huge difference between someone (in this case, your gf) needing some help and support when she is having a rough time, and saying "I'd kill myself if not for you." That's a lot of pressure on you, which is the last thing you need! Recommend your gf find a therapist that she can talk to. Someone outside the situation can help without the emotional baggage.

like a sociopath who is only using people for what they can give me, and that I can only ever hurt people who care about me.

Right now, it sounds like your gf is using you, not the other way around.

Also this girl I've been talking to for a week asked if we were girlfriends and I told her no and I feel awful cause I was the first person she's really opened up to.

Don't feel bad. (I know, easier said than done.) It's easy to send and receive mixed signals when going through an emotional time. You clarified the situation and didn't lead her on.

And I had sex with a chaser last Friday. I felt worthless and I wanted to be used. I really regret it now but it's in the past.

What is in the past, is in the past. Regret is good when we learn from our mistakes. The important thing is that you remember how bad you feel, and remember in the future.

Uhm, but I bought my first bra in a store! Well, my sister bought it... but I was right next to her. The cashier kept asking if my sister had tried it on. I was getting a 38B and my sister is a 36DDD so...

*snicker* I feel sorry for that poor clerk!

And, uh, how do I look?

Amazing!

[Irish Musician]

And someone's already made a trashy comment that screws with the otherwise positive impact.

You know better to read the comments!

It's ok, I do it too.


I just wanted to stop in, after lurking a bit, to say hi and give hugs & love. Been reading and just didn't have much to say other than showing support, like normal. Doesn't seem very useful or helpful , but I am still here if y'all need me.

M

[Athedia]

Spoiler: adult content warning

Show

So uhm, my dad kicked me out on sunday. I'm staying with my girlfriend, but it's very tenuous because she wants to progress the relationship further (we've been dating a month maybe) and maybe collar me (for the bdsm peeps) but I've been wanting to go monogamous with my boyfriend.
When I brought that up with my boyfriend he said the reason he broke up with his first boyfriend was because he was asked to be monogamous for him. So I feel like a huge idiot.

Don't feel like an idiot, but as other people said you need to make that clear from the beginning. Also you could be monogamous and not expect him to be (a situation I have considered to take care of the whole lack of desire for sexual intimacy). Also I would suggest not proceeding with allowing your girlfriend to collar you until she is in a place of emotional stability. BDSM needs the people involved to have complete trust in each other, and the short bit you have said shows that she is already being manipulative.

Also very sorry that you were kicked out.

And my girlfriend said I was the only thing keeping her alive (which I told her was a super unhealthy way to look at it but she said better unhealthy than dead).

That is textbook manipulation and emotionally abusive.

So I feel like super awful in every direction, like a sociopath who is only using people for what they can give me, and that I can only ever hurt people who care about me. Also this girl I've been talking to for a week asked if we were girlfriends and I told her no and I feel awful cause I was the first person she's really opened up to.

Honey, the "feel super awful" part shows me you aren't a sociopath. You still have empathy for others which is a BIG DEAL. What you are feeling is something I felt in a bad relationship once, and other friends of mine have felt in bad relationships. You are being guilted into staying, you don't feel heard and that is why you should feel awful.

Also the girl you talked too, keep talking to her, but make it clear you are just friends. A good friend is 100x more important than trying to find a bf or gf since you ALWAYS need someone to open up to that will not bring it home.

And, uh, how do I look? I really need to find something to do with my mouth for photos, I dunno. I hate showing my teeth :x http://imgur.com/a/DRm0T if you had to pick something masculine for me to work on, what would you suggest? I know I need to work on my skin already...

You look cute, very cute.

[Irish Musician]

Uhm, but I bought my first bra in a store! Well, my sister bought it... but I was right next to her. The cashier kept asking if my sister had tried it on. I was getting a 38B and my sister is a 36DDD so... yeah. Very awkward. Kinda funny in hindsight but I was so anxious I almost passed out.

"so.....you are SURE you want this bra? And you tried it on.....right?"

That poor confused cashier lol Congrats, though, on the new bra!

And, uh, how do I look? I really need to find something to do with my mouth for photos, I dunno. I hate showing my teeth :x http://imgur.com/a/DRm0T if you had to pick something masculine for me to work on, what would you suggest? I know I need to work on my skin already...

Honestly the only contender I see for critique is maybe, maybe eyebrows being thinned a little bit. But if you do, for the love of everything good and holy, don't overdo it. Eyebrow shaping tends to be a hard thing to do in if you have never done it, and do it right. Yours are, really, very nice. But I am at the bottom of the barrel scraping to find little, tiny things to critique, and I still can't find much You look beautiful either way, though!

And I feel your pain about the skin things. I used to have HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE acne when I was a teenager. I mean, it was BAD. I was super self-conscious about it and it was hard for me to keep my head up or have much confidence. Eventually with help, I got it all gone (except for the occasional pimple here and there) and I gained a lot of confidence after that. I try to use that experience to help others get their confidence up and let them know they are definitely not alone! So, cheer up dear, don't let it define you, and hold that pretty head up high!

Matthew

[SiuiS]

Goddess.

Thanks, intelligent articulate people for trying over in the creeper GM section. I appreciate y'all being there. I my own self just don't have the energy to engage with a lot of that stupidity. >_<

[Graustein]

So I just started a new job! Yay! They say I am not allowed to wear nail polish (because food service, not because I'm AMAB), but they didn't comment on the eyeliner I was wearing at the interview so I'm assuming that's fine? Anything to be a little bit girly out there.

And also the other night I wore a skirt out to a friend-gathering for the first time ever! Always before I've worn pants to the thing and then changed at the place, so this is a huge step for me. And nobody even looked at me twice! I feel slightly annoyed, I was CERTAIN people would be staring. Then again, it is Berlin? But yeah, I feel nicely genderous at the moment :)

Are there any other AMAB Genderqueer/NB folks around these parts? :)

[Jormengand]

Are there any other AMAB Genderqueer/NB folks around these parts? :)

*Raises half a hand*

I'm genderfluid, so I guess I count sometimes.

Assuming by "Around these parts" you mean "Of the internet" not "Of the world," in which case I can't help you.

[Irish Musician]

So I just started a new job! Yay! They say I am not allowed to wear nail polish (because food service, not because I'm AMAB), but they didn't comment on the eyeliner I was wearing at the interview so I'm assuming that's fine? Anything to be a little bit girly out there.

And also the other night I wore a skirt out to a friend-gathering for the first time ever! Always before I've worn pants to the thing and then changed at the place, so this is a huge step for me. And nobody even looked at me twice! I feel slightly annoyed, I was CERTAIN people would be staring. Then again, it is Berlin? But yeah, I feel nicely genderous at the moment :)

Are there any other AMAB Genderqueer/NB folks around these parts? :)

Greutzi und Glückwünsche, little grey stone!

I am neither of those things, just your run of the mill straight dude. But glad things are going well in Berlin!

Matthew

[turkishproverb]

Ugh. Forgot how annoying signing up for new emails was.

[Lycunadari]

Congratulations on the engagement, Kender!

Congratulations!

Thanks!

OMG that's awesome! Do you have any further details that you'd like to share?
*Hugs if you would like them*
So happy for you ^^

Short version: someone I like very much did something bad when I was a child, when I realised what it was I felt pretty horrible for quite some time but couldn't talk about it, now I sent them a letter confronting them with what they did and they replied and wrote that they deeply regret what they did and hope I can accept their apology. I've written more in the PWA thread, starting around last December.
*hugs*

I have to wonder how often gender fluidity is actually a long-term thing, rather than just a phase people move through on their way to coming out as trans.

Yeah, I've noticed that as well and everytime I wonder if someday I'll be the only genderfluid person left... or if I'll also "settle" on something. (I'm nearing 2 years IDing as genderfluid, though most of the time I'm at agender.)

So uhm, I've had a lot go on recently that I kinda just wanna vent about, feel free to ignore me:

Spoiler: adult content warning

Show

So uhm, my dad kicked me out on sunday. I'm staying with my girlfriend, but it's very tenuous because she wants to progress the relationship further (we've been dating a month maybe) and maybe collar me (for the bdsm peeps) but I've been wanting to go monogamous with my boyfriend. When I brought that up with my boyfriend he said the reason he broke up with his first boyfriend was because he was asked to be monogamous for him. So I feel like a huge idiot. And my girlfriend said I was the only thing keeping her alive (which I told her was a super unhealthy way to look at it but she said better unhealthy than dead). So I feel like super awful in every direction, like a sociopath who is only using people for what they can give me, and that I can only ever hurt people who care about me. Also this girl I've been talking to for a week asked if we were girlfriends and I told her no and I feel awful cause I was the first person she's really opened up to.
And I had sex with a chaser last Friday. I felt worthless and I wanted to be used. I really regret it now but it's in the past. It partially helped thinking I'm heteroflexible when previously I have identified as pansexual. It's a very confusing time for me.
With my dad kicking me out I also will not be able to visit my boyfriend (he lives 1000 miles away) and it will be much harder to move to the West Coast. Ugh. Sorry all.

Uhm, but I bought my first bra in a store! Well, my sister bought it... but I was right next to her. The cashier kept asking if my sister had tried it on. I was getting a 38B and my sister is a 36DDD so... yeah. Very awkward. Kinda funny in hindsight but I was so anxious I almost passed out.
And, uh, how do I look? I really need to find something to do with my mouth for photos, I dunno. I hate showing my teeth :x http://imgur.com/a/DRm0T if you had to pick something masculine for me to work on, what would you suggest? I know I need to work on my skin already...

Everyone else already commented at the relationship situation, so I'll just add a "You're really cute!"

You know better to read the comments!

It's ok, I do it too.


I just wanted to stop in, after lurking a bit, to say hi and give hugs & love. Been reading and just didn't have much to say other than showing support, like normal. Doesn't seem very useful or helpful , but I am still here if y'all need me.

M

Don't think your support isn't useful! I for one appreciate every *hug* and nice comment when I'm feeling down (and also when I'm not feeling down ).

So I just started a new job! Yay! They say I am not allowed to wear nail polish (because food service, not because I'm AMAB), but they didn't comment on the eyeliner I was wearing at the interview so I'm assuming that's fine? Anything to be a little bit girly out there.

And also the other night I wore a skirt out to a friend-gathering for the first time ever! Always before I've worn pants to the thing and then changed at the place, so this is a huge step for me. And nobody even looked at me twice! I feel slightly annoyed, I was CERTAIN people would be staring. Then again, it is Berlin? But yeah, I feel nicely genderous at the moment :)

Are there any other AMAB Genderqueer/NB folks around these parts? :)

I'm FAAB, but I have a question for you: how do you explain people in German that you're genderqueer? I'm always lacking fitting words... And, if I might ask, what pronouns do you prefer?


– Juniper

[Ilorin Lorati]

Anyway, the point is, scientific research is not neutral.

Fair enough.

Are there any other AMAB Genderqueer/NB folks around these parts? :)

*raises hand and wiggles fingers*

[Lentrax]

Okay. Trans girls, and whomever else this may apply:

I need some help finding good products for me to be able to use.

Specifically, I need pore reducer/concleaer, foundation, rogue, eyeshadow, mascar, and basically everything when it comes to makeup. And on top of all that I need aid in applying it to not look like a complete idiot.

[Heliomance]

Okay. Trans girls, and whomever else this may apply:

I need some help finding good products for me to be able to use.

Specifically, I need pore reducer/concleaer, foundation, rogue, eyeshadow, mascar, and basically everything when it comes to makeup. And on top of all that I need aid in applying it to not look like a complete idiot.

Hee. Normally that typo goes the other way

[Kesnit]

Goddess.

Thanks, intelligent articulate people for trying over in the creeper GM section. I appreciate y'all being there. I my own self just don't have the energy to engage with a lot of that stupidity. >_<

I was reading that thread, but just can't do it any more. My brain hurts!

[Lentrax]

Hee. Normally that typo goes the other way

Oh man. I am way to used to writing bad Star Wars fan fics, I suppose...

[Graustein]

*Raises half a hand*

I'm genderfluid, so I guess I count sometimes.

Assuming by "Around these parts" you mean "Of the internet" not "Of the world," in which case I can't help you.

mm come to think of it genderfluid is probably the better term for me, I find myself swapping around a lot. Most of the time my presentation is definitely femme male but I fluctuate based on circumstance and context. I gotta be basically a guy for my new job, so..

And yeah, I meant this forum specifically :P although I am ALWAYS eager to meet nerdy queer Berliners in case there are any?

Greutzi und Glückwünsche, little grey stone!

I am neither of those things, just your run of the mill straight dude. But glad things are going well in Berlin!

Matthew

Danke schön :)

I'm FAAB, but I have a question for you: how do you explain people in German that you're genderqueer? I'm always lacking fitting words... And, if I might ask, what pronouns do you prefer?


– Juniper

In German... I don't. I will either be with people who are already clued-in, and they always speak English anyway, or I will be among people who aren't clued-in, and I can get away with being "guy who wears nail polish who thinks gender is way too restrictive anyway" and leave it at that. I'm still a bit closeted, you see. I DID manage to explain the concept of being "neder männlich noch weiblich" to someone, but that was in reference to Conchita Wurst (all the various gods bless and praise her) rather than myself.

I do use he/er pronouns most of the time, except sometimes I go all-out with a dress and makeup and everything, then I ask people to use she/sie pronouns.

Also sidenote even though I don't use them personally I am really annoyed by how it's impossible to use gender-neutral personal pronouns in German. It just doesn't work. It makes me sad and no German has been able to explain to me what they do to compromise :(

*raises hand and wiggles fingers*

*jazz hands* hallo!