Naruto VIII: Longest. Day. EVER!

[Traab]

Yes.

Yes, there is...!

Leaving aside the masses of barely literate material and the people who refuse to write in normal literary standards, I am 100% sure at one point, I saw a summary for a Naruto fanfiction that stared with something like "Naruto is a blind pianist..."

And I was like... "is this not entirely missing the point of fanfiction when the only thing it has in common in the names of the characters?"

I also remember seeing at least one author who believed if what you wrote was not nearly completely different to the original, it wasn't worth doing...

The sheer volume of Naruto fanfiction (which is, on fanfic, only exceeded by Harry Potter, and I think by now by MLP:FiM on its own Fimfiction website) means there is an AWFUL lot of utter crap, in between the few shining gems...!

Dont forget that like 75% of all fanfiction stories on the site are sub 20k word complete stories or single chapters that never go anywhere and linger like a bad stink forever. Nothing more fun than finding there are say, 2 dozen naruto/thundercats crossovers, only to discover 20 of them are 300 words each, and 2 of the ones left are yaoi smut fics with no story other than "Naruto and Lion-o meet and have sex. Alot."

Heh, but on the subject of AU versus Canon, there is plenty of room for personal taste on this. Some people want to see how the canon storyline would play out if naruto was trained by ranma and magically all events take place exactly the same despite him doing different thing to handle them. Others want to actually explore how that would change the overall storyline if naruto had the personality of Virgil from devil may cry. As for the "Im using the name but thats it, everything about everything will be different" Yeah, I never understood that.

[Starwulf]

Heh, I'm reading a fanfic right now that I still can't decide if I like, or absolutely despise. There is a lot that it does good, the relationships Naruto makes are interesting(Shisui is alive!), and the the premise is very interesting(Naruto decides "Screw the villagers, I ain't protecting them, I'm protecting myself" and doesn't become a ninja, but gets training from Kakashi/Anko/Shisui/scrolls from the Hokage), but the grammar isn't the greatest at times, and the greatest sin that can be committed with Naruto is thrown at you over and over again: Naruto is an emo little b**** who whines over and over about how hard his life is, how people have betrayed him at every turn, even though quite often the things that he views as a betrayal are absolutely nothing to be upset about(The Hokage asks him to do something Ninja related! IT'S A BETRAYAL! MY LIFE IS ENDING!. Shisui asks him to go on a mission with him because his skills compliment his so well "IT'S A BETRAYAL...wait, no, maybe it's not, but I'm going to go cry for a night before I say yes!!!!"

Yeah, I'll read the whole thing, but I'm absolutely torn between whether or not it's a decent fic, or a crime against naruto fanfiction. LOL(For those interested it's: Konoha: Naruto's Playground".). It's apparently a well liked fic, has like 5k reviews(which normally means it's something fairly worthwhile) and is nearly 300k words, but I can't stand an Emo-Naruto. Ticks me off. Make him dark and evil, make him super cheerful/hyper, but do NOT make Naruto an emo-baby.

[Traab]

Bad grammar is probably one of the biggest interest killers for me ever. There is this one author. He has at least three fics of his that I greatly enjoy. The problem is, especially early on, the grammar is terrible. It gets better as he gains experience writing, so there is that much for him. In one he joins anbu and dates kurenai, in another he is a hunter nin and dates hana, and a third he becomes a regular (if skilled) jounin and dates anko. Each has its own unique path, none just hand naruto mastery of all skills and super powers, but they all involve naruto finally taking his training serious and learning a lot.

For example, in the hunter nin story, kurenai blames naruto for asuma's death. Its a grief thing, she doesnt feel that way for long, but people get irrational when their baby daddy dies, ya know? Anyways, naruto takes it hard and decides the thing he needs most is combat experience, so he joins the hunter nins with a goal to clear the entire bingo book, one rank of missing nin at a time. It has a helpful kyuubi who gives him tips and an interesting extra skill that isnt overpowered. And the power progression is smooth and makes sense. He doesnt just train for a month and become S rank. He trains constantly, works his way through c rank shinobi, (like the demon brothers on the wave mission, or mizuki for that matter) continually training, then moves on to B rank, and masters new skill sets to make himself flexible and strong enough to handle them, then moves to A ranks, etc. It even covers things like his mental state. Hunting and killing ninja after ninja being in constant danger is going to effect your personality, and that gets included as a important part of the story, as well as peoples reaction like tsunade.

Anyways, the other stories are equally good. The problem is getting through the early bad grammar and suspending your disbelief a bit about the relationships. He comes up with decent reasons for them to work out, but the age gap is a sticking point for some readers, i know.

Lone Wolf (the anbu story)
The Path of the HunterNin (duh)
Tired (the jounin story)

[Sith_Happens]

I am 100% sure at one point, I saw a summary for a Naruto fanfiction that stared with something like "Naruto is a blind pianist..."

And I was like... "is this not entirely missing the point of fanfiction when the only thing it has in common in the names of the characters?"

Define "thing it has in common." Because a fic where all of the characters have their canon personalities but the context of their existence is entirely different could easily be quite an interesting read. Heck, Gurren Lagann has an official High School AU manga that I've heard is pretty good.

[Aotrs Commander]

Dont forget that like 75% of all fanfiction stories on the site are sub 20k word complete stories or single chapters that never go anywhere and linger like a bad stink forever. Nothing more fun than finding there are say, 2 dozen naruto/thundercats crossovers, only to discover 20 of them are 300 words each, and 2 of the ones left are yaoi smut fics with no story other than "Naruto and Lion-o meet and have sex. Alot."

During the period I read most Naruto fanfiction, I generally confined myself to stories of 10k plus words, which at least got rid of a lot of the chaff.

Heh, but on the subject of AU versus Canon, there is plenty of room for personal taste on this. Some people want to see how the canon storyline would play out if naruto was trained by ranma and magically all events take place exactly the same despite him doing different thing to handle them. Others want to actually explore how that would change the overall storyline if naruto had the personality of Virgil from devil may cry. As for the "Im using the name but thats it, everything about everything will be different" Yeah, I never understood that.

Yes, I agree, different strokes for different folks. (I, for one, am personally turned off VERY quickly when "Naruto" (or Harry Potter, that's another favourite) turns out be be nothing like the character, as I'm not reading Naruto to see someone's idea of an unflappable badass going around telling everyone how much they suck and he's so much better than they are (a the worst offenders tend to be), or an OC who does the same. Other people are annoyed when Naruto/Harry ISN'T some kind of generically-would-be-grizzled-of-older badass who is an asshat to everyone the author percieves has done him "wrong.")

But this particular gentleman was of the opinion that if you didn't make Naruto nothing like Naruto, you were Doing It Wrong, were a bad writer and that everyone should write like he did or not at all. It was his assertion that I disagreed with, not AU in particular.

Define "thing it has in common." Because a fic where all of the characters have their canon personalities but the context of their existence is entirely different could easily be quite an interesting read. Heck, Gurren Lagann has an official High School AU manga that I've heard is pretty good.

Yes, but there are a large number of stories where it is clear that it ISN'T the cast displaced in genera, their personalities are vastly altered as well. (I didn't bother to see about that one because, just wow...) It's basically just using the names (and maybe physical appearance) on entirely different characters.

[Rater202]

I'm not particularly fond of bashing fics that make up things to bash about or otherwise make the basher look bad.

For example, I was reading an HP fic the otherday, one that was pretty good, up until Ron, for no apparent reason, called Hermione a "Mudblood Slut" and I had to abandon it, simply becuase that has no basis in canon.

Relatedly, I was reading a Naruto fic a few years ago that made up a BS weakness for the Sharingan-that it gave tunnel vision. This is despite the fact that "see and memorize everything in field of vision" is the most basic sharingan power and the reason Chidori doesn't give tunnel vision. Even still, I don't think "tunnel vision" is a valid reason to not do the thing that lets you copy bloodlines with the bloodline that is the brokenest.

As for "make the character an unflappable Badass" well, that really depends on how it comes about, now don't it? If it's a Peggy Sue fic with 7th year Harry Potter, or 7th Hokage Naruto, back into their younger bodies at the time they started their adventures, then they'd better damn well be an unflappable badass-they're years ahead of everybody else skill wise an they know everything that's about to happen.

Or maybe if it's an AU Naruto fic where he... Maybe he get's beat up when he's like six, subconsciously draws on Asura's chakra to defend himself, Kurama senses that Naruto is Asura reincarnated and Naruto ends up befriending Kurama years early, meaning he's got his Kurama mode and Tail Beast mode from the start. in such a story,then by all means nobody should be a threat until the Chunin Exams with Gaara.

[Aotrs Commander]

As for "make the character an unflappable Badass" well, that really depends on how it comes about, now don't it?

Not really: I personally find "unflappable badasses" that don't react to anything are just bad, period; nevermind what medium or genera. (It is why Amoron in Korra is so utterly risiblely done.) Characters that don't react to anything are not really characters in the first place (or even interesting), and making them always win is just an author ego-trip. Not what I partake in entertainment media for. (If there's going to be ego-salving, I'll salve the one ego that actually matters - my own. I'm quite capable of supplying my own power fantasies, thank you, I don't need anybody else's.)

If Naruto wasn't a bit of an idiot and had started with the ludicrous levels of power he ended at, I would have found the show unwatchable from the start.

[Traab]

Not really: I personally find "unflappable badasses" that don't react to anything are just bad, period; nevermind what medium or genera. (It is why Amoron in Korra is so utterly risiblely done.) Characters that don't react to anything are not really characters in the first place (or even interesting), and making them always win is just an author ego-trip. Not what I partake in entertainment media for. (If there's going to be ego-salving, I'll salve the one ego that actually matters - my own. I'm quite capable of supplying my own power fantasies, thank you, I don't need anybody else's.)

If Naruto wasn't a bit of an idiot and had started with the ludicrous levels of power he ended at, I would have found the show unwatchable from the start.

Speaking of unflappable badass (or in this case, more unstoppable), did you ever read the work done by robst? He has a fairly significant list of work, but the one thing his early stuff has in common is this generic theme. "Harry and hermione soul bond at some point, then proceed to roflstomp all over a manipulative/evil dumbledoore and snape and the ministry for magic, despite not gaining over a century's worth of knowledge and experience. By the end of the story they are the darlings of magical britain, voldemort is destroyed, and dumbledoore is exposed as a fraud/monster" He has gotten a lot better over the years, and has created a ton of interesting stuff. Really, the only remaining constant theme is harry/hermione pairings. He has one story though that fits the genre you hate. In This World or the Next. It has a time traveling harry and hermione. The weasleys get bashed big time. Like, HUGE. They are evil sacks of crap in the future they came from. Iirc, harry and hermione arrange for them to lose everything, and kill off one kid while giving ron a sex change via repeated "accidental" nut shots, culminating in taking a troll club to the groin. They arent exactly unflappable, hermione feels guilty that they fed percy to fluffy, and setup ron to be all alone in the bathroom the day the troll shows up. But thats about the limit. Other than a bit of guilt, they are prepared for everything, even the stuff that pops up because they are changing things (so it isnt foreknowledge) and proceed to overwhelm all opposition because they are awesome and soul bonded and yeah.

Once again, let me say his newer work is awesome. Harry Crow is a very unique story where he gets raised by goblins. He isnt unflappable badass, but he IS badass, and he is also working with a plan setup by the goblin government with their support, so he isnt just magically going it alone. There are twists and turns, not everything always goes his way. Bad stuff happens, good stuff happens, there is humor, drama, violence, romance, and its a nice long story that goes very very different from canon.

[Aotrs Commander]

And, started in on the next DVD volume...

First episode was pretty dull, Naruto beats his dark half with the power of friendship or something yadda yadda (when Twilight Sparkle does that, it's way cooler), more reiteration of things that have been repeated ad finitum since, like, the first episode... blah blah blah yawn...

The second and third though, wherein we got (the first parts of) Kushina's backstory, were actually really interesting, and not least because we get to see her and Minato in action. And Naruto getting some closure.

I am quite impressed that the Leaf villagers of the time were even MORE stupid and intolerant than even in Naruto's day. That level of petty bigotry defies explanation. I mean. Seriously. Iknow hair colour is often used as an example of how silly human skin-colour discrimination is, but here we have it, used with a straight face. I really hope the nine-tails rampage killed all those frackwits, because wow.

I presume it must have done, though, since the fact that Sakura - who is possessed of what might be considered to be an even sillier colour¹ - was picked on because of her facial features, rather than her pink hair, says something about the children of her age. (I mean, not necessarily a good thing, but at least better than a pants-on-head fricking-idiot thing.)

Next up tomorrow, we get to Minato fighting Madarobitobiheynonoyno and the actual sealing-y gubbins, which should be equally interesting.



¹For the record, I like Sakura's hair colour, personally - you can at the very least not accuse it of being banal or boring.



Edit: Another day, another three episodes...

The second couple of parts with the flashback were really good... Until the very last. Minato and Kushina's death scene was completely tonal destroyed by the ridiculous "foot-wide-spike-through-the-chest" thing (clearly, this is where Naruto gets it from.) It was so utterly biologically impossile. Seriously, they wouldn't be spending five minutes taking about how Naruto should be sensible with money and whatnot, because they don't have any lungs. Or Spine. You can't put a foot-wide whole in a human nad have them carry on as if they wre only slightly hurt, they are fraking dead. So, sadly, that piece of immersion-breaking silliness quite killed the mood.

The third one ended with Guy going super-saiyanon Kisame, so you really can't complain, can you?

Apparenty the next one is Kisame's backstory. Welp, he's a dead man, then, ain't he?

(Y'know, maybe, I dunno, just for the sake of dramatic tension, you could maybe NOT waiit until just before you kill the bad guy before giving their background spiel, guys? So it isn't bloody obvious or something?)

[Ramza00]

How did they survive for five minutes after the nine tails penetrated them?

Chakra (nods)

Minato is a specialist of sealing jitsu same with Kushina.

One or both of them applied seals off screen to keep the bloods in their bodies, to prevent shock, and to keep the heart pumping.

Is such a type of magic really surprising? We seen chakra bring back the living dead with Edo Tensai, the dead to life with Nagato/Pain, Sasori only possessing a core (his brain or heart or both?) with no way to injest sustenance to support the core, and the storing of people or at least their memories via chakra and seals with minato and kushina.

Magic did it. Tsuande the fifth hokage suffered similar wounds and she got better, they only need five minutes of life. Neji also survived a similar injury and he did not have a claw to slow down the leaking of blood.

[Ramza00]

Question would the manga be any different if Itachi never had a mangeokyu sharingan? No obsene power ups such as susanoo or unstoppable fire?

Just a talented ninja of the highest caliber who specializes in genjutsu and had tremendous skills with ninjutsu and taijutsu.

[Rater202]

Well, for one, he'd have been defeated by Kakashi and if not captured by Jiraiya for sure, which would have ompletly derailed that whole thing. He wouldn't have been able to re-mindrape Sasuke, which would have removed one of the factoors that influenced Sasuke to defect to Orochimaru.

If Miraculously the entire manga continued on schedule despite Itachi's lack of Mangekyo, without Susanoo he would have been killed by Orochimaru, who'd have then jacked Sasuke's body and gained Indra's Demigod Chakra. If by some miracle that didn't happen, without Mangekyo Sasuke could't transplant Itachi's eyes into his head, meaning No eternal Mangekyo, meaning Sasuke would have been blind from the Hokage Summit on, and, um, without Eternal Mangekyo Sasuke's left eye wouldn't have become a Rinnegan when he recived the Sage's chakra, so he and Naruto would't have been able to undo the Infinite Moonthingy, assuming Sasuke's tusanoo would have been stong enough without Eternal Mangekyo of Rinnegan to stop them from bein trapped in it or that they could have defeated Kaguya without the major power boost that Eternal Mangekyo and Rinnegan give to Sasuke.

Basically, dropping Mangekyo from Itachi fracks up the entire storyline.

[Starwulf]

Ya know, I'm starting to think/realize that a lot of the fanfics you all recommend aren't actually listed in the Naruto section of fanfiction.net That Naruto Genkyouien one is nearly 700k words!!! I'd have never passed up a fic that long, especially with that many reviews attached to it, and yet I've never heard of it. Same with a few other fics that have been recommended here before, they don't show up in my normal searches(Naruto, 150k+ words, English for the search parameters).

[Traab]

Ya know, I'm starting to think/realize that a lot of the fanfics you all recommend aren't actually listed in the Naruto section of fanfiction.net That Naruto Genkyouien one is nearly 700k words!!! I'd have never passed up a fic that long, especially with that many reviews attached to it, and yet I've never heard of it. Same with a few other fics that have been recommended here before, they don't show up in my normal searches(Naruto, 150k+ words, English for the search parameters).

Yeah its one of my pet peeves. I dont know how many stories I miss that are mislabeled in the search tags. The biggest example for me are the crossovers. So many stories I stumble across that are a crossover, that dont show up on the list under that particular crossover subject. When I first started out, I used to do my searches methodically. For example, I would put in a specific pairing and read anything 100k+ under that listing that sounded interesting, then when i ran out or got tired of them i switched to a new pairing. Then when that got boring, I started doing crossover checks. "Hey, I wonder how many naruto/xmen stories there are? How about avengers? Lotr?" But it seems that a large number of stories dont get that tag for some reason.

I havent done extensive reading on that site, but hpfanfictionarchive seems to have a LOT of tags that can be slapped onto the same story, so it seems like it would be more likely to find what I am looking for there. If I want raunchy, there is a tag for that, if I want drama, grimdark, romance, humor, there is a tag for that. I admit that what i would like to see would probably be insanely hard to setup, but I also wish i could do searches for specific story types. For example, if I want to read btvs fics and call up a list of the halloween costume stories (thats the easiest excuse for a crossover in the series) Or in naruto, I want to call up "naruto with a bloodline" stories. Or, "Whats in the forbidden scroll?" type fics. Or time travel, naruto is betrayed, super naruto, etc etc etc.

[Aotrs Commander]

Next three episodes of Naruto...

Kisame's partial backstory. Yep. he's dead.

And really. There are like, five jonin and Naruto and NO-ONE thinks, "hey, wait a minute, maybe Kisame might have y'know, done a ninja-y thing and booby-trapped his scroll?"

You guys are fracking idiots.



The next two were... mixed.

On the downside, flashbacks to the worst episodes of Naruto, i.e Pain's backstory. And at the very end, an utterly worthless waste of five minutes showing some tedius backstory to four dead characters for the sole purpose of some ham-handed symbolism. Yeah, thanks for that. And, Konan, duck? You did not make six hundred billion paper bombs. You really didn't. Because to do that in a year of constant work, you would have to create every second for a year. Yes, you did make quite a lot of paper bombs. But don't exaggerate. It impresses no-one.



Plus side: Madara Uchiha is a fragging brilliant bad guy at this point. Dear FRAG did they so waste him with the later reveal because dear frag, otherwise, he would be the poster boy for villains done right. He's so fracking well done here it physically hurts to know the waste; this is one point I REALLY wish I hadn't been spoiled on, because I'd have enjoyed him so much more. (But been so much more furious when it was revealed, so there's that.) Damn, he was EASILY the most fun bad guy to watch in action in the entire series. I was cheering for him the whole way through. (Actually, the second Sharigarn caught me quite by surprise.)

[Rater202]

And, Konan, duck? You did not make six hundred billion paper bombs. You really didn't. Because to do that in a year of constant work, you would have to create every second for a year. Yes, you did make quite a lot of paper bombs. But don't exaggerate. It impresses no-one.

Bleackbane-Konana is an expert in paper Ninjutsu. She could probably make a few dozen exploding tags in a few seconds.

Really my issue wasn't how much time it took her but the fact that that's more paper than there has been in existence at any one point in time on earth.

Discussion Topic: Are Paper Ninjutsu technically wood release?

[Aotrs Commander]

Bleackbane-Konana is an expert in paper Ninjutsu. She could probably make a few dozen exploding tags in a few seconds.

Sorry, I dropped a bit from my prior post:

Because to do that in a year of constant work, you would have to create 19025 paper bombs every second.

Bear in mind that is working 24 hours per day with no stop for anything, otherwise that number skyrockets.

Really my issue wasn't how much time it took her but the fact that that's more paper than there has been in existence at any one point in time on earth.

Actually it isn't, interestingly. Not even the amount used per year.

Fagpacket calculation says a ream of 500 sheets of (standard 80g/cm²) A4 paper (considerably bigger than a paper bomb) weights about 0.0025 tons. About 140 million metric tons of writing and newspaper (according to Internet Sources) is used per year, which then equates to 56 000 000 000 reams of paper, which the equivilent of 28 trillion sheets of A4 per year.

So Konan's proposed 600 billion paper bombs is - very approximately - not more than 1/46th of 21st century Earth's entire annual supply of writing and newsprint paper.

(This is making quite a few assumptions, of course, but is likely close-ish to the right ballpark.)

But let's be clear - that is still a fracking RIDICULOUS number.

It's just in comparison to the fact that 21st century Earth use and EVEN MORE ridiculous amount of paper per year...!

[Rater202]

Okay, it's been away. Did it specifically say she made them since she and Nagato turned to Naruto's way of thinking?

[Traab]

You also have to take into account the multiple replication techniques out there. She may have also been using an origami equivalent of the shuriken shadow clone jutsu. There is also the potential for something similar to tsunades heal seal. She stores a certain amount of chakra invested in this technique for years on end, then unleashes it when its time to go for your trumps and pull out all the stops. Suddenly boom, ten years worth of putting 10% of her daily energy into this supercharged technique is unleashed all at once. Or, on another angle, look at her usual techniques. In that fight, just her paper travel technique seems to create hundreds, maybe thousands of bits of paper, and thats for a low level casual technique of hers. As an S rank shinobi, she has a LOT of chakra to burn. Its not entirely absurd to think she is able to create enough paper using what amounts to all her chakra to make that much. Assuming she wasnt exaggerating the total number.

[Starwulf]

Okay, it's been away. Did it specifically say she made them since she and Nagato turned to Naruto's way of thinking?

I've always been under the impression that Konan was making the Paper Bombs virtually from the moment Tobi stepped onto the scene and took over the leadership. Konan never trusted him and the paperbombs were her way of taking him out once she believed that he would inevitably betray her and Nagato. The premise behind it being "Yeah he can Kamui, but he can't stay there indefinitely and 600billion paper bombs is going to to last significantly longer then he can stay in his Kamui universe.

That might be the fanfiction knowledge in me talking though, I'm not 100% on this.

[Rater202]

No, the kamui limits thing was explicitly her logic, and technically she would have killed him if he hadn't used izanami to replace himself with an illusion.

We're trying to figure out when she started making them.

[Starwulf]

No, the kamui limits thing was explicitly her logic, and technically she would have killed him if he hadn't used izanami to replace himself with an illusion.

We're trying to figure out when she started making them.

Yes, and that's what I answered. Forget everything else I posted past the first sentence, that was just me explaining why she did it.

I've always been under the impression that Konan was making the Paper Bombs virtually from the moment Tobi stepped onto the scene and took over the leadership.

From what I remember, she started making them back Tobi joined Akatsuki and she became suspicious that he would betray them. Which would make it about 6 years give or take? They(the Akatsuki) were around at least a few years before the start of the original Naruto, as Orochimaru had been a part of their organization and had left after he attacked Itachi in an effort to get the Sharingan. Itachi left the village when Sasuke was about 6ish? and joined Akatsuki not to long thereafter. Thing is, I have no idea when exactly Tobi joined. Assuming shortly after all the others joined up, she could have possibly been making those things for nearly a Decade.

[Aotrs Commander]

If she'd been making them continuously for ten years and done nothing else at all, she'd still have to be making 1902.5 every SECOND.

If she can make them one per second, but only works eight hours a day every day, she can "only" make 28800 paper bombs per day, and it would take her fifty-seven thousand years to make 600 billion.



Given that actually creating matter is also a bit dodgy (since in that very episode Madara was on about how the shadow technique allows you to make something out of nothing, which sort of implies it's not something Konan could have been doing, the logistics of actually creating one paper bomb per second (or equivilent) is getting quite difficult.

Heck, just getting the paper is a logistical challenge! Being generous as saying a tag is about quarter the size of an A4 sheet (a fair approximation), she'd need about twelve million tons of paper. Which in turn, given the general yield of 50% of wood requires 24 million tons of wood. As VERY rough approximataions, then: 1 ton of wood is approximately a cubic metre. A forest is capable of producing about four to eight cubic metres of wood per hectare. so that's three million hectacres of woodland (30 000 square kilimetres or 11584 square miles - a square 107 miles to a side) required for that amount of paper.

(Again, these are only fagpacket calculations taken from values I googled, so there is a fair margin of error, but even so.)

Given that no-one had noticed a sudden mass deforestation, I think it's safe to say the 600 billion figure was pulled out of someone's arse without actually any thought put into it, because it just sounded good. (Either by Kishi or the translators.) And whomever it was simply Did Not Do The Research.



(And if Konan could have done all that, then it makes her Darwinawardianly stupid, since the Akatsuki wanted money and she could have cornered the paper production market personally, probably with enough money that the people of Rain could afford to buy off all of the ninja villages with their pocket change every time a war started.)



Edit: More fun with numbers. Let's say a paper bomb releases the equivilent of a steriotypical WW2 pineapple hand grenade. (I think that's a fair bottom end, estimate, yes?) That is the equivilent of 57 grams of TNT or 0.000000000057 megatons of TNT. So her total yield of 600 billion is 34.2 megatons of TNT of explosives over preportedly ten minutes. That is, for comparsion, eleven times the total estimated megatons of TNT of explosives used in the entire of World War II (including the nukes). It is 50% more than the theorhetical amount of energy liberated by converting 1kg of matter entirely into energy. It is 36% higher than the largest nuclear bomb the US has ever produced (and only exceed by the 50-megaton Tsar Bomba test). When I saw the episode, I jokingly said "she's gonna nuke him then," and it turns out if we take those numbers at face value - I was right. [Expletive] the tailed beasts, you'd basically got nukes there Akatsuki, if I believed you.

But, while impressive, the paper bombs going off did not seem to be of a nuclear-equivilent force. Bearing in mind that the lake wasn't vapourised... (That wasn't the explosion Madara Kamui'd away.)

[Sith_Happens]

Ain't no kill like overkill.

Fixed that for you.

[Traab]

The problem with the nuke comparison is, as you pointed out, its strung out over the course of 10 minutes of comparatively weak explosions. And of course, there is the difference between tnt and nukes in that tnt releases its energy as blast force, nukes release it as blast force, HEAT and of course, radiation. A nuke on this level would indeed likely evaporate the lake/river/whatever they were fighting on. But thats because of the combination of heat and blast force. Im quoting from a site I looked up the difference on here,

Small or large, all nuclear blasts create fireballs with temperatures exceeding 300,000 degrees celsius. These fireballs act as shock waves that blow down everything in their path for many kilometres around. The explosion also results in hurricane winds and firestorms over large areas.

A standard explosive like tnt doesnt do that no matter how much you use. If my understanding of it is correct, it creates a pressure wave that smashes into everything around it. The water isnt instantly evaporated, its shoved out of the way. So when the explosive force is broken up into billions of small explosions over ten minutes, it isnt enough to say, remove the water from existence, no matter how many grenades you blow up one after another.

[Aotrs Commander]

Next four episodes (last on this DVD set).

Loving the Rock Lee's Ninja Pals segments, pleae for the love of all that's putrid will someone please dub that series!

Okay, Naruto is easily distacted and watching him frack about with the animals was amusing... While everyone else got ont with the job...

Gotta hand it to the Tsuchikage - the little guy's pretty freakin' awesome!

Grabbed Yamato, though, that's really bad. (Will be more so when Naruto finds out and flips out...)

And the set-up for the Forth Ninja War and unholy fracking crap of a crapstick, that is a frag-load of shinobi!

And the Kabuto and co and wow, that is a frag-load of dead shinobi and I really didn't see a good chunk of those coming, either, yikes!

Dammit, Madara, you deserved so much better than the silly reveal you got because freaking heck, you would otherwise be right up at the top with good badguys for once.

Fracking hell, this is going to be awesome!

This is actually going to be so cool!

The main plot is actually gonna be really good for a change before it goes off the rails, and everyone is going to get to kick so much butt!

This is going to be-

A... flashback episode?

A... flashback episode?

NOW?!

NOW?!

Noooooooooooooooooo!

Fiiiiiiiiller!

Why have you betrayed me!

...

Wait...

Wait...

Wait...

No.

No.

Nononono.

No!

This isn't even a NEW flashback story?!

This is just a quick rehash of, like, the entire of the main plot?!?!

This isn't even proper filler?

This is just a glorified clip show that only actually barely has the decency to be new footage?

And there's more than one episode of this?!

WHAT.


THE.


F-

This is Aotrs public service announcement. Due to the extreme levels of profanity and the risk of significant permenent phyicological damage, the remaining content of this transmission is not appropriate to viewers of any age, living or undead, and has been censored for the safety and mental well-being of all viewers.

We apologise for any inconveniance caused.

[Douglas]

Is this before or after the "Naruto's on a boat" filler segment? Because that one's really long and gets very silly, to the point where I stopped watching until the main plot finally returned many episodes later.

[Aotrs Commander]

No, you see, because the boat arc was actually good. It was entetaining. It had a lot of Guy in it, Naruto Being An Idiot and occasional bits of Interaction With Guest Characters, Especially the Major Characters. All of which is good. It was certainly better than the at-that-point maudlin Saskue-obsessed-main plot, which for ages has been worse than the filler.

This isn't even filler, this isn't even a clip show, which you put in for an episode when you run out of money - which here, they haven't even got THAT excuse!

This is just padding!

Ye gods, not even Pain's backstory (which was, granted, was worse and so risible it was nearly unwatchable) was so utterly superfluous that you could have never watched the episodes and not even realised they had BEEN episodes you'd missed.

They've not even justifiying it with the flimseist excuse of it being framed by a character's memories!

It's just suddenly "brakes on, two more more episodes repeating the story for no reason whatsoever!"

This is low even by Naruto's bottom-level standard.

[Sith_Happens]

Ye gods, not even Pain's backstory (which was, granted, was worse and so risible it was nearly unwatchable) was so utterly superfluous that you could have never watched the episodes and not even realised they had BEEN episodes you'd missed.

FYI, Pain's backstory will be getting a few much better episodes of filler expansion not too far down the line from where you are now, which will then inexplicably segue into a much longer and extremely good filler arc showing Kakashi's stint in the ANBU and expanding Yamato's backstory (with special guest star Preteen-Yet-Hilariously-Professional Itachi).

[Aotrs Commander]

FYI, Pain's backstory will be getting a few much better episodes of filler expansion not too far down the line from where you are now,

Oh Lichemaster.

*skulldesk*

Fragging hell.

I thought, just fracking MAYBE, after the absolutely and utterly pointless five-ten minute waste of my time after Konan died, we might finally be spared more of than excremental rubbish that even Jiraiya in a frog-suit couldn't save.

Are these framed through the plot or just totally stand-alone like the current tripe, because seriously, now, I will skip them quite happily if they are; really I will.

which will then inexplicably segue into a much longer and extremely good filler arc showing Kakashi's stint in the ANBU and expanding Yamato's backstory (with special guest star Preteen-Yet-Hilariously-Professional Itachi).

Oh, now, that sounds actually interesting, since y'know, the backstory to characters who are a) protagonists and b) hasn't been repeated ad finitum, Naruto and Sasuke are actually INTERESTING.