Serious Plots 5: No lulz.

[Gullara]

[The Gilded Green]

Sakura rolls her eyes and shakes her head. He can be so unobservant. He should pay less attention to the food and more to the people he's talking to! "We'll talk later." She whispers back.

[Snowbound Tundra]

Kitty sets Annie down on her feet. She looks nervously at the other children before turning back to give Kitty and Obriane wide eyed looks. "Come on, Annie. These are new friends. You just play with them until mommy and Obriane come back, okay?" Annie turns to Obriane and pouts. Obriane is her last hope!

[Murkus]

[The Gilded Green]

"Well... ok," Adir says, not trying very much to whisper at all. He looks from Sakura to Geas and his mother, his eyebrows furrowing. His mouth flattens into a line. This time, more quietly, "It's about them, isn't it?"

"I like to think Adir takes more after myself than his father," explains Viviana, glancing briefly at her son as he consorts quietly with his wife. The stag flashes a grin back, even as he whispers to Sakura. "Alas, there are quite a few who do as Sarcadian does. I wish... do sometimes wish I had more peaceful sons. Many of them are with him at this very moment. Our warriors and hunters."

[Shadowcaller]

[Snowbound Tundra]

Obriane just smiles and gestures towards the kids. "Annie, go play with them. We got stuff to do." She practically begs the little girl. Who would have thought taking care of a child could be so hard? Annie was even more difficult to take care of than other children it seemed...

[The Gilded Green]

"I know what you mean." Cessie admits. "Personally I'm not at home with either hunters or warriors. That sort of lifestyle is simply not for me. I never even left the city until I was fourteen years old."

[Gullara]

[Snowbound Tundra]

Annie frowns pitifully, and then the children are upon her! They natter at the newcomer in their ranks. A new kid, and she has a weird tail! Well... Annie should be fine now, if reluctantly. They'll stay a bit longer to make sure she's getting on fine, but then they'll be able to leave.

[The Gilded Green]

Sakura nods subtly before turning her attention to her mother in law again. "I think you're right. Adir is such a good husband, always looking after his family." Sakura loops her arm in his and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

[Reinholdt]

On the Road to Purgatory

Out of the other end of the portal comes Anny, followed shortly by Butler. Looking around, there's not much but desolation and fog, but they at least seem to be at the base of some sort of mountain. The portal is still open for a little while should caution or dread get the better of Anny and she decide she'd prefer the land of the living after all.

Butler steps forward, going ahead a little bit, then taking one big step. Squinting a little to cut through the fog, one can see a tiny stream cutting across the path forward. It used to be a ginormous river with a really creepy boatman who always demanded a better wage, the greedy bastard. Needless to say, when budget cuts came down from above, Charon was the first to go and most of the river Styx went after. Crossing this little stream is more symbolic now than it is a method of keeping intruders out.

The catboy turns around and holds out his hand in order to help her across the stream, should she still be there.

[HaltTheSlayer]

(Sorry power is out over in my area. I am currently at my local gamestore which still has wifi.)

Anny had stayed she was way tougher than she appeared. She takes Butler's hand lifting the skirt of her dress a little so the stream doesn't get it wet.
"Is this place...the after life?" Anny asked

[UncleWolf]

Crossroads

Spako looks up with a smile at the man.
"Oh, hello Captain. Yes, I'm doing fine. As soon as they bring the lizard I was promised I'll have everything set up nice and tidy. Not that much of this coin will stay in my hands for long. The masons will be getting a rather large sum in the next month. I'm sure Livret will order the tower built with at least two more stories than we can afford." he says, waving a hand still clutching a book.

Crossroads

The Captain gives a bark of laughter at that and a smile. "That sounds like most people when given a large sum of money. Perhaps some day I can find a way to stop by and see the tower when it is completed." He says. Behind him, a stableboy is leading a giant lizard closer for Spako to inspect should he wish.

[Deathkeeper]

Crossroads

Spako nods. "Well, I don't know how His Majesty handles vacations for your units, but if you ever get some time off you're welcome to come. Oh, my lizard!" he says excitedly, setting the book down to scurry over to the oversized reptile. He needs to see if it's temperamental. Hopefully it isn't. Spako's only ever had to deal with animals that acted like dogs, mostly, since he never had his own horse the few times they were used.
"Is it a male or a female? Does it have a name?" he asks the stablehand.

[UncleWolf]

Crossroads

"I'm getting ready to retire, actually. Soon it will be time to settle down and make a family, but I think I'll travel for a while before I do." He explains before nodding when Spako runs off to the lizard. "F-Female, sir. Most of the Pack Lizards are. The males get too aggressive near breeding season. Especially the Bull-Lizards." He explains. It seems they're rather like horses in that way. "Name is Date-Blossom, Sir. They're her favorite snack." The lizard itself seems to be rather docile and even turns her head slightly towards him to nudge him playfully.

[Deathkeeper]

Crossroads

Spako practically giggles, and puts an arm around the lizard's neck before trying to guide her back to the Captain and his pile.
"You're going to help me with this pile of money and then maybe with my house and then I'll probably have to take you on walks so you don't get too fat." he coos to her.
"Sorry about that, Captain. I'll just have to make sure everything's properly loaded onto the cart, and then after some final business is taken care of I'll probably be off."

[Reinholdt]

(Sorry power is out over in my area. I am currently at my local gamestore which still has wifi.)

Anny had stayed she was way tougher than she appeared. She takes Butler's hand lifting the skirt of her dress a little so the stream doesn't get it wet.
"Is this place...the after life?" Anny asked

On the Road to Purgatory

"A part of it ma'am. Sort of like the entrance hall ma'am." Not very appealing greeting if you ask me.

"Do you know which part of it you're headed to ma'am?" If she did, then Butler could skip the whole judging at the crossroads part and go straight to their destination! A lot of people seemed to know where they were supposed to go. If it weren't always foggy in this part, they probably wouldn't even need Butler to do this at all.

[HaltTheSlayer]

"...I don't know. I died a long time ago and rose as some zombie, however i have no idea how i died or why i didn't pass on. I can't help but get the feeling that i wouldn't be welcome in any place anyway." Anny sighed. She really did want to pass on, but since nothing could kill her it was seemed like that would be an impossibility.
"What are you anyway? Your obviously not a normal cat man."

[Reinholdt]

On the Road to Purgatory

"Well you're welcome here," Butler assures Anny with a smile. He can't think of anyone that would get turned away. "Most people who don't know where they're going end up at the Merry-Go-Round ma'am! It looks really fun ma'am." "But they never let me on it ma'am." Butler pouts a bit, never really understanding why they wouldn't let him on. He's pretty sure he's tall enough.

Butler tilts his head in confusion at her question. "Well... I'm also a butler ma'am. And a husband ma'am. That's about it ma'am."

Continuing on, the fog recedes a little bit when they approach a crossroads. At the center of the intersection are three signs. The one pointing left says 'Bad' and has a highway leading down into a cave. The one pointing right says 'Good' and has a staircase heading up a mountain. The one that stays the course says 'Filthy Neutral' and is a rocky path that leads to what appears to be the entrance of an amusement park.

"Just approach the signs and one will light up and tell you which way to go ma'am," Butler explains.

[HaltTheSlayer]

Anny goes to the sign and looks at each one. The neutral was the one that lit up for her and she made her way to the amusement park. However when she tried to walk in the gate closed in her face and she was sent back to start.
"...what the?" She tried the other paths but a similar thing happened at each one that sent her right back to the start. A fourth sign appeared that said "Deathnote" that point straight back from where they came.

(If you haven't watched the anime, basically what's going on is Anny when she was alive had wrote someone's name in deathnote which is a tool used to kill people. Those who use it can't go to heaven, hell and I assume nowhere in between.)

[Murkus]

[The Gilded Green]

"I know what you mean." Cessie admits. "Personally I'm not at home with either hunters or warriors. That sort of lifestyle is simply not for me. I never even left the city until I was fourteen years old."

[The Gilded Green]

Sakura nods subtly before turning her attention to her mother in law again. "I think you're right. Adir is such a good husband, always looking after his family." Sakura loops her arm in his and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

"That sounds like it must have been very strange for you, Cessie," starts the matron of the Frescots. Her eyes flicker. "And that sounds like my son."

"Supermom here gives me too much credit," Adir says, one eye winking and his grin taking shape as she kisses him on the cheek.

"I'm so proud of you, Adir," says Viviana, glancing toward him. "So proud of this beautiful woman you chose, of your life... Please, do Sakura and I a favor, stay away from such nonsense as hunting." She smiles disarmingly.

"I ammm... making no promises," Adir says, turning out his hands in a 'what can I do' gesture.

[Reinholdt]

Off the Road to Purgatory

Probably the most reasonable lore answer I've seen. I'd avoid apples if I were her. And it's probably to everyone's benefit that I don't actually have to write up the creepy purgatory based amusement park post I was planning.

Butler escorted her to the gate of the amusement park, but stopped outside explaining that, "I'm not allowed in anymore ma'am."

His sadness is quickly replaced with confusion as Anny seems not to be allowed in either. Backtracking and trying another path seems reasonable, but only results in greater confusion. Ah, but all confusion is cleared up as the fourth sign appears and lights up! Butler didn't even know they had a fourth sign. Seems like the type of thing the diets should remember to go over.

Oh well, problem solved. Better yet, Butler gets to go to a new place! "I don't think I've ever seen anyone described like that before ma'am." What does deathnote even mean? Ah well, it's not like Butler agrees with the cosmic forces on their assessment of people anyways. "Maybe it leads to that Valhalla place I hear so much about ma'am."

Butler turns to follow the sign with Anny back in the direction it dictates.

[HaltTheSlayer]

"...no, I remember now, I really can't pass on." Anny said as she knew where the sign was pointing, right back to the mortal realm
"I wrote one person's name in a shinigami's deathnote...and because of that no place will accept me. I am forced to wonder the earth for all eternity, quite ironic since I have spent my whole life helping people pass on." Anny stepped back through the stream, not even noticing it was there.

[Reinholdt]

Off the Road to Purgatory

"Can't pass on ma'am?" Butler tilts his head. "If you need a message delivered somewhere ma'am, I'll be happy to pass it on for you ma'am."

Butler hadn't a clue what a shinigami was or how ironing was involved. Maybe the former was some term for a diary cause she mentioned writing, but usually you don't iron books. Maybe it got wet and she couldn't think of any other way to dry it off? Or no wait, she mentioned helping people pass it on, so it was probably letters and she was a mailman and dropped the mailbag in a puddle and needed to dry them off before delivering them, so she ironed them. Butler could totally see that happening. He makes mistakes like that sometimes too.

One of the things Butler knows is just silly though. "Don't worry ma'am. I accept you ma'am. And I'm sure the other people where we're going will accept you too ma'am." Butler tries to reassure her with another warm smile.

Upon reaching the portal, Butler blinks a bit, and moves around the portal to the other side as if trying to figure out where the road was supposed to be.

[HaltTheSlayer]

"...Butler you have been a great help, but there is still something in the mortal realm I need to do before I can find any kind of peace." Anny said as she pulled out one of her pistols. She was looking at a name that was etched into the handle of the gun, the name "James R. Baron".
"Butler, is there anyway you help me track someone in the mortal realm? His name is James R. Baron, a man who has been corrupted by an artifact of great power."

[Reinholdt]

The mortal realm. A common term devils and diets liked to use to say the Nexus. Butler isn't sure why they can't just say Nexus, but at least he understands the phrase. "Something you need to do ma'am? Why didn't you say so ma'am? We could have done that first ma'am." Dying can wait.

Butler scratches the back of his head as he contemplates how to track down this person Anny is interested in. Possibly to pass on her message. Shouldn't mail people already know where to go to deliver letters? "I could help you with that if you'd like ma'am. Can't say I've ever heard of him though ma'am. I'll have to ask around ma'am." Fortunately Butler's mortal and immortal friends are far more knowledgeable than he. Perhaps a denizen of hell has heard of James R. Baron and can point them in the right direction.

"How does knowing something about art corrupt someone ma'am?"

[Shadowcaller]

[Snowbound Tundra]

Annie frowns pitifully, and then the children are upon her! They natter at the newcomer in their ranks. A new kid, and she has a weird tail! Well... Annie should be fine now, if reluctantly. They'll stay a bit longer to make sure she's getting on fine, but then they'll be able to leave.

[The Gilded Green]

Sakura nods subtly before turning her attention to her mother in law again. "I think you're right. Adir is such a good husband, always looking after his family." Sakura loops her arm in his and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

"That sounds like it must have been very strange for you, Cessie," starts the matron of the Frescots. Her eyes flicker. "And that sounds like my son."

"Supermom here gives me too much credit," Adir says, one eye winking and his grin taking shape as she kisses him on the cheek.

"I'm so proud of you, Adir," says Viviana, glancing toward him. "So proud of this beautiful woman you chose, of your life... Please, do Sakura and I a favor, stay away from such nonsense as hunting." She smiles disarmingly as her own smile comes on.

[Snowbound Tundra]

The babies are clearly conspiring against the newcomer. They must be planning to pull her tail!
"Okay... you sure Annie will be okay? We might be gone for days you know?" Obriane asks as they start walking away.

[The Gilded Green]

"It really is. Probably why I don't go outside much anymore." Cessie says. Besides her daily nature walks of course. "The wilderness and I just don't get along."

[Gullara]

[Snowbound Tundra]

Kitty sighs. "I know, but she was never going to be happy about this. I tried to prepare her as much as I could and this was the result. She just doesn't like new people, but we didn't have any better options. She won't be happy about it, but she'll be fine."

[The Gilded Green]

"We're kept so busy by the kids that he hardly gets a chance to go out anyway. I can't say I'm not happy about having my handsome husband at home so often." Sakura gives Adir's arm a squeeze. She doesn't have to worry about him or be bothered by him bringing his kills home this way, so it works out nicely for her!

[HaltTheSlayer]

"...I keep forgetting I'm talking to a cat man." Anny thought for a moment as she realized she had to dumb this down for him.
"So this kind of "art" is a mask. Whoever puts on this mask is given powers close to that of a god, but they are not in control. You see the mask is a alive and loves nothing more than death and destruction. I would suggest not going near him either, he might decide to kill you."

[Shadowcaller]

[Snowbound Tundra]

"She likes me." Obriane says in a encouraging tone. "I'm sure it won't get so bad once she gets used to it. She probably just needs time. Maybe we can let her meet my little brother when all this is over?" She suggests.

[Gullara]

[Snowbound Tundra]

"Well of course she likes you. Who couldn't like you?" Kitty laughs and gives Obriane a kiss on the cheek. "Besides, you're basically family. It's good for her to meet more kids around her age, though. I hope she'll get along with your brother. How old is he again?"

[Reinholdt]

"...I keep forgetting I'm talking to a cat man." Anny thought for a moment as she realized she had to dumb this down for him.
"So this kind of "art" is a mask. Whoever puts on this mask is given powers close to that of a god, but they are not in control. You see the mask is a alive and loves nothing more than death and destruction. I would suggest not going near him either, he might decide to kill you."

Purgatory Rd.

Hey now Anny. No need to start getting racist. Not all catmen are this dense. Admittedly Butler sets the bar exceptionally low. You could say his talent is making others look better.

"That wouldn't be very nice ma'am." Butler frowns, not sure how that'd even work, considering he's already dead. He definitely doesn't want to find out though. "This mask sounds very mean ma'am. I think I prefer onions ma'am." Onions were nice.

[HaltTheSlayer]

Purgatory Rd.

"Well than you don't have to come with...but I need to finish what I started. It has been a pleasure talking to you, maybe we will meet again?" Anny said and was about to walk through the portal.

[Reinholdt]

Purgatory Rd.

"Why of course ma'am. After I ask around about James R. Baron, I'll come see you ma'am." But that'll take a little time.

"It was a pleasure meeting you too ma'am. Have a great day ma'am."

The portal will close behind her after she exits back to Trog's.

[HaltTheSlayer]

That exact thing happened as she stepped through back into the tavern.

(Just pm me if you want me to tell where James is.)

[Morty]

[The Warrior-Queen's Tomb]

Dipsnig's directions will lead Krayger and Grace to the slope of a mountain. They'll have to trek through wilderness until they come across a tall, sheer cliff. The journey is made all the more difficult by the fact that the forest surrounding the cliff seems to have been torn through by an avalanche - there are rock shards everywhere and many of the trees are felled.

There's an opening in the cliff face. It appears to have been uncovered by the avalanche, and leads deep into the mountainside. There's what appears to be a bronze-covered door on the other side of a long corridor.