Where do you keep your philactory?

[KnotKnormal]

Avoiding getting repeat killed by the dragon is mainly a matter of making sure you are on good terms with him before you tell them about your plan to hide your phylactery in his treasure hoard.

yeah... but that won't fly with any smart dragon. a wyrm would instantly recognize that as a threat to his hoard, cause that means that some day, some one will come looking for that phylactory and chance are they will eventually be very powerful and likely make off with the dragon's treasure and head.

[Aeson]

a wyrm would instantly recognize that as a threat to his hoard, cause that means that some day, some one will come looking for that phylactory and chance are they will eventually be very powerful and likely make off with the dragon's treasure and head.

A smart wyrm will recognize that some day somebody's going to come and try to deprive him or her of the hoard regardless of whether or not the dragon has the phylactory, and realize that having a powerful immortal spellcaster who has a vested interest in seeing to it that the wyrm remains alive and in possession of the hoard is not a bad thing.

Also, if the lich actually befriends the wyrm as suggested, well, the things friends will do for one another are not limited only to those things which carry no risks.

[KnotKnormal]

ture, but there is a difference between adventurers seeking honor, glory and loot, and those that are determined to save their world from a lich. as a dragon I would be very afraid of the second kind of adventurer. I'd hold onto my hoard and lay low, if things want to come to my den to try to gain fame or money they are welcome to take me on. but it would be the desperate ones I'd worry about.

[Segev]

Make it a sentient item. A sword, perhaps. Something with a good and noble purpose, like slaying evil dragons or protecting paladins. Create it with a sweet and kind personality, and a lust for life and an endearing curiosity. Don't let it know it's your phylactery.

Then see to it that it falls into the hands of some heroes. Maybe give it to them when they're just slightly weaker than one might expect to find wielding so magnificent a weapon. Give them time to become friends with it.

Should they ever discover its dark secret, the poor thing's metaphorical heart will break, but it won't want to die. Its purpose is not to destroy you, after all, and it has so much to live for. And it's their friend.

[Icewraith]

If this is 5th edition: I use the Demiplane spell to create a storage depot for it. I can access it or leave it at any time with a spell slot, it's nigh-impossible to find with magic, I can ward it beyond measure, and I can have literally hundreds of decoy rooms floating out there when the adventurers try to look for it.

If this is 3.5e: I willingly give my phylactery to a genie capable of granting wishes, and promise it three favors each time I respawn from it. Adventurers are going to have a hell of a time convincing someone with unlimited wishes, their own small nation of resources, and greed that outstrips a dragon's to part with one of their most unique treasures.

You're also giving the genie a reason to start gunning for you every time it needs (or wants) more favors. And by "gunning for" I mean "manipulating other beings into killing you". Or just, y'know, killing you. If he can make your agreement magically binding, you've sold yourself as a slave to the genie for your immortal life. Not really a good trade.

What you really want is a series of demiplanes with various inhospitible environments connected by one-way gates and otherwise inaccesible to teleportation/plane shifting. The demiplane with the phylactery on it should be fast time so you can regenerate quickly. One of the demiplanes in the chain should be extremely slow time. I believe the catch-up mechanism for slow time planes is what causes mortals to suddenly crumble to dust after shifting out, right? In the slow-time plane there will be a supply of materials and instructions suitable for completing the transformation to lichdom. The ritual will have a backdoor that will cause the new lich to be loyal to the original lich and compel them to use the prime material portal when they leave the demiplane. There will also be a notice that anyone who isn't immortal will crumble to dust when they leave the plane. Most of the plane will be under the effect of spells that prevent combat. There will be a magnificent mansion style effect that generates an endless supply of food, water, and servants for visitors. There will be one spawn-creating undead (maybe a vampire?). There will be a one-way portal to the next demiplane and a one-way portal to the prime material.

The vampire will only create thralls of people who specifically request it. The vampire will order his thralls under the strictest possible terms to walk through the prime material portal and to obey the original lich as if it were the vampire.

Anyone traveling through the dungeon can either head on if they are immortal or go back to the prime. Any mortal adventurers can hang out and party until they die of old age, become servants of the original lich and return to the prime (and enjoy immortality as a sentient undead capable of doing so), or attempt to pass through either portal and crumble to dust.

[Belac93]

I cast demiplane, and fill the room with sand. Then, I make my phylactery one of them.

I fill thousands of rooms with copies of myself using the clone spell, and make it one of the Jars that contains a clone.

I make it a diamond grain, and drop it into a lava flow.

I make it some bone marrow, and inject it into an ancient red dragon, in exchange for it getting a fake phylactery as a reward.

[The Glyphstone]

Actually, I'm going to consult the Evil Overlord list on this one.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

[Cluedrew]

Actually, I'm going to consult the Evil Overlord list on this one.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

... Would now be a bad time to point out I have an account with the band on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire run by the Dragons of Eternity?

[The Glyphstone]

Do they play good music?

[Cluedrew]

Let's try this again: "... Would now be a bad time to point out I have an account with the bank on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire run by the Dragons of Eternity?"

I considered making a crack about that, but no, it is just a typo. There is nothing but the bank and the law firm up there, not a lot of music.

[The Glyphstone]

Yeah, but was a funny typo, hence the joke.

[Reboot]

Actually, I'm going to consult the Evil Overlord list on this one.

That's pretty much entirely relying on "security through obscurity" though. All it takes is one successful divination or other means of tracing it, and your phylactery is dust. As much as "Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity" is kind of an obvious place, it's a DAMN HARD place to get to - pretty much the only way that's getting breached is either (a) Protagonist Luck or (b) Your equal and opposite. And that's always possible, even in the "safe deposit box" scenario, just that "lower level" guys can get it with less luck otherwise. [Even Batman had his super-secret safe-deposit box stolen recently, in Batman (New 52 series) #52. And if BATMAN can have it happen, anyone can ;) ]

If you're going to go for "relying on obscurity", bury it a few miles underground at random co-ordinates by teleportation in some inhospitable place - a giant desert, under permafrost, bottom of the ocean, etc.

[Cluedrew]

I don't know, maybe I could of run with it and gone about how the dragons of eternity are so multi-talented having lived so long... learning music and banking. But I wasn't sure how to spin that.

Although if I was a Lich and a sufficiently LE (particularly the lawful part) Dragons of Eternity did run a bank on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire in that setting, I would totally get a safety deposit box from them and put my phylactery in it. I would also probably pick up Lair Insurance from the Evil Genii next door and pay the Beholders at the base of the mountain for information on any adventures who are hunting me down, because if you have in bank of evil, why not an big-E Evil insurance company and other services for the modern evil mastermind?

[Fable Wright]

You're also giving the genie a reason to start gunning for you every time it needs (or wants) more favors. And by "gunning for" I mean "manipulating other beings into killing you". Or just, y'know, killing you. If he can make your agreement magically binding, you've sold yourself as a slave to the genie for your immortal life. Not really a good trade.

He has infinite wishes, and he doesn't need to start killing you the next time he needs a favor. He can just get a Sending and work out a normal barter, rather than going through the trouble of hiring people.

That said, as Xykon has pointed out, when you're a powerful lich it's rare to come across anything that can challenge you. You're saying that contracting out my defense to a genie comes with a Rocky training montage anytime I start wearing myself into a rut? Score!

[DigoDragon]

Problem: Player character's going to think you're trying to steal his hoard each time you start respawning. This will end in the creation of a mechanism to kill you again each time you respawn, meaning a hellish loop of eternal death. Or getting press-ganged into working for the people who killed you. Or both. Dragon is the better call here; it can at least be reasoned with.

Not a problem at all. Disguise yourself as the intelligent spirit of the magic item and grant the PC some minor boon for taking care of the item.
PC is happy and you're on your way. Done.

[iceman10058]

Another one a friend of mine did was make it into a cursed Holy Avenger, so that whenever a paladin picks it up and makes a connection to it, the lich now also has control of the paladin as he instantly falls to evil cause of the cursed sword. as far as rules go im not 100% if thats how it works, but as far as story and flavor it was awesome.

[KillingAScarab]

Another one a friend of mine did was make it into a cursed Holy Avenger, so that whenever a paladin picks it up and makes a connection to it, the lich now also has control of the paladin as he instantly falls to evil cause of the cursed sword. as far as rules go im not 100% if thats how it works, but as far as story and flavor it was awesome.

Would this friend have played Warcraft III, by any chance? Cursed swords taking people over might not be new, but I feel like that was a very specific intersection with liches.

[goto124]

Would this friend have played Warcraft III, by any chance? Cursed swords taking people over might not be new, but I feel like that was a very specific intersection with liches.

Maybe this comic is slightly related.

[Lord Torath]

I make it a diamond grain, and drop it into a lava flow.

Are you ever going to be in for a surprise when you need your phylactery!

Diamonds are far from immune to fire. Heat a diamond up to 3500 C, and it turns into random carbon molecules. Heat it up to 800 C in the presence of oxygen, and it'll burn. Plus, are liches immune to fire? You're not going to be wearing any of your magic items when you regenerate, are you? A lava bath just does not sound comfortable, even for a skeleton. Also, what happens when that lave flow solidifies, with your phylactery 20 to 30 feet in now-solid rock when you need to regenerate?

[Reboot]

That makes me think though - if a lich makes a hollow, man-sized sphere their phylactery, does the lich regenerate inside or outside it? (I suppose it might be simpler just to have a Tiny phylactery inside such a sphere).

Another thought - rather than buggering about with dragons/etc, why not make a gold coin your phylactery... then just spend it in some crowded marketplace (using some illusion or similar spells to disguise yourself when doing so) with lots of people/etc transiting through? Good luck on anyone ever finding it again!

[Belac93]

Are you ever going to be in for a surprise when you need your phylactery!

Diamonds are far from immune to fire. Heat a diamond up to 3500 C, and it turns into random carbon molecules. Heat it up to 800 C in the presence of oxygen, and it'll burn. Plus, are liches immune to fire? You're not going to be wearing any of your magic items when you regenerate, are you? A lava bath just does not sound comfortable, even for a skeleton. Also, what happens when that lave flow solidifies, with your phylactery 20 to 30 feet in now-solid rock when you need to regenerate?

Well, lava can be as low as 700°C, so it is technically possible. I imagine you could always lock it in a barely larger fireproof thing, as fire resistance is one of the easiest things to bestow in dnd. Also, coming back to life? I have a lot of hit points, I imagine I could get fire resistance or immunity before dying. For the solidifying, that is what disintegrate and teleportation is for. Even misty step has a range of 30 feet.


What if you cast the Burial imprisonment spell on a zombie, with the release clause being: 'when I die,' and gave it your phylactery? When you die, you end up safely a few thousand feet below the earth, with plenty of time to plot and regenerate.

[bulbaquil]

My phylactery? I'd just toss it randomly out on the street.

[Traab]

I would keep it in an empty room with a sign labeling it as a phylactery. The players would take so long trying to figure out the trap I would regenerate before they were through.

[DigoDragon]

Build the phylactery as part of a magic fridge that makes food. Donate fridge to an orphanage.

[Traab]

Build the phylactery as part of a magic fridge that makes food. Donate fridge to an orphanage.

"I made my phylactery into a nice old ladies artificial hip. You wouldnt cripple an old lady would you?"

"I made my phylactery into the central support strut of the only orphanage in the kingdom. Would you really deny those poor children a home when they are already suffering without parents?"

[goto124]

Another thought - rather than buggering about with dragons/etc, why not make a gold coin your phylactery... then just spend it in some crowded marketplace (using some illusion or similar spells to disguise yourself when doing so) with lots of people/etc transiting through? Good luck on anyone ever finding it again!

Including you. You have no idea where you'll regenerate, let alone know if it's a safe place.

[Reboot]

Including you. You have no idea where you'll regenerate, let alone know if it's a safe place.

True, you're playing the odds. But provided you've set the coin up with lots of anti-detection spells, pretty good odds on being basically safe and sound in some random purse or chest. Or, worst case, in a muddy ditch or pond.

[DigoDragon]

"I made my phylactery into the central support strut of the only orphanage in the kingdom. Would you really deny those poor children a home when they are already suffering without parents?"

And think of the fun you'd have when you pop back after your defeat.

"Hey kids, wanna see a dead body?!" :D

[Segev]

Ever since reading how dracoliches do it, I've thought that was a cooler idea for how all liches should. Therefore, my theory on lich regeneration isn't that they spontaneously pop out of nowhere, but that their souls return to their phylacteries upon their physical bodies' destruction, and then they have to search in a slowly-expanding radius of awareness for a suitable corpse. When they find it, they take possession of it. The process of finding and taking possession of a suitable corpse (which must be of their species, or at least close to it) is what takes 1d10 days. The sooner they revive, the closer to their phylactery the corpse they took over is likely to be.

[Nizaris]

For all of its faults, Pathfinder's Vigilante has the best hiding location, inside its Safe House. The location and everything and everyone inside is immune to Divination and the effect is non-dispel-able. It's also a great place for storing the remains of your vanquished foes, no one can find the remains and if placed correctly, no one will find it through mundane means.

Failing that, the before mentioned moon base is a useful option.