If Games Workshop wrote Harry Potter

[gooddragon1]

...set in the 40k universe.

Maybe a school for the inquisitors? Voldemort would be a chaos sorcerer trying to corrupt members of the Ordo Hereticus. Dumbledore could be somewhat like Inquisitor Lord Fyodor Karamazov. Snape could be an inquisitor who delves a bit more deeply into heretical material than normal.

[Anderlith]

Commissar Fudge shoots Psyker Potter, for secretly harboring a part of a chaos sorcerer's soul. Exterminatus on Planet Hogwarts. Everything gets worse.

[gooddragon1]

Commissar Fudge shoots Psyker Potter, for secretly harboring a part of a chaos sorcerer's soul. Exterminatus on Planet Hogwarts. Everything gets worse.

But then Harry wouldn't be able to do this:

Spoiler: To be fair, you knew this was coming

Show

[Pilum]

Trelawny as a Harlequin Shadowseer
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Hmm actually, wait a second...

[Flickerdart]

It would cost $1000 to buy every sentence in the books. Once you got them all, you would have to put them in the right order yourself, and color in the letters with expensive paint. Then at the book club, the guy that spent twice as much on the audiobook version destroys you.

[Aedilred]

Books 1-6 would be published at annual intervals. Every year they'd revise and re-issue at least one of these, and it would cost more than the previous one. With every revision, the series would make less sense. They would insist "It's a setting, not a story", while continuing to post unresolved narrative additions to the series. They'd add a number of spinoffs and sequels, all of them costing more than the novels themselves, taking up an increasing amount of space on the bookshelves and riddled with typos and inconsistencies. Ebook versions would be published in GW's proprietary format, only viewable on a GW ereader, which would be more expensive than any other ereader on the market, and could only read GW's own format.

Eventually, after about thirty years, Book 7 would be released to great fanfare. Each chapter would be its own limited edition costing as much as the previous books had. Taken together, the book would amount to "Rocks fall, everyone dies, and also the world blows up". They would then publish a new series of novels set in the Star Wars universe but still called "Harry Potter" and with a few of the Potter names re-used for setting elements.

Some people would buy it all and insist every change was for the better. A smaller number of people would endlessly complain about how the series has been going downhill since Book 1.

[pendell]

Merlin would be alive but comatose, sustained by the sacrifice of thousands of wizards, unicorns, and other magic creatures daily.

Which wizards, you ask? Two hints: 1) It's a bad idea to be expelled from Hogwarts in this universe. A bad bad idea. 2) There is no Azkaban in this universe.

The Ministry of Magic are staffed by Inquisitors, of which Dolores Umbridge is the chief.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

[An Enemy Spy]

The Muggles would be severely underpowered because they haven't gotten an update in over a decade. Meanwhile, the goblins have been written out of the story entirely. The Order of the Pheonix of course is on all the Harry Potter merchandising and and the Ultrawizards get all the attention.

[Eldan]

It would cost $1000 to buy every sentence in the books. Once you got them all, you would have to put them in the right order yourself, and color in the letters with expensive paint. Then at the book club, the guy that spent twice as much on the audiobook version destroys you.

Nah. GW hasn't been about spending the most money for a while, now. It's about playing Marines or Eldar.

So, you can only read one book in the series, and if you choose the wrong one, people who read the good book in the series come to your house and trample around on your book.

[Scowling Dragon]

Every book is the same book over and over, about the billion different ways that Harry Potter got to be what it is today. If somebody likes or dislikes a book it is in series retconned by being declared an illusion caused by wizards. Or not. Who knows.

And when it actually comes down to things happening, prepare for it coming never. And if it ever does come, you wished it didn't.

[Grim Portent]

All the important characters would be 9 feet tall and able to slay thousands of lesser wizards.

Voldemort would have been the best fiend of Harry's father who was turned to the side of villainy by pride and confusion.

Harry would have been magically enhanced as a baby and before he could join Hogwarts he would have been forced to kill a griffon with a sharpened broom handle to demonstrate his might.

Even the 'good' guys would use tyrannical magical powers to maintain their society. Anyone suspected of Deatheater sympathies would be summarily executed.

In the games monetizing the franchise everyone would be inferior to the house elves, who have magic and mobility far beyond everyone else.

Outside the silliness above, I don't think the setting or plotline would fit well into the 40k setting. A psyker child born of two psyker parents who were then murdered by a chaos psyker and who was left with a magical scar from the conflict would be terminated pretty quickly. Though the idea of a psyker equivalent of Harry having to deal with chaos corruption leaking into his mind from a splinter of chaos sorcery lodged to his soul could be pretty cool, at least for a while.

Also, I think the curriculum at Hogwarts would be considered irresponsible even by the Imperium.

[Wardog]

Forge World would sell special, resin versions of the books, at twice the normal price.

[NovenFromTheSun]

Instead of being sorted by a hat, Harry and friends would be tested to see if they'd be more useful alive than as Emperor burgers!

[khadgar567]

If games workshop wrote harry pother we have officaly found the worst of the worstsest version of harry pother harry would be cadian merc and voldy would be head of particular inquition bent to put harry deadliest of deadly sitiations with less than his worts load out

[GloatingSwine]

The school uniform would have pauldrons. They would get bigger for each year, requiring a full new uniform to be purchased. (Left and right would be sold seperately, obviously).

Percy Weasley would want to be a prefect because prefects have the biggest pauldrons.

[Beleriphon]

Also, I think the curriculum at Hogwarts would be considered irresponsible even by the Imperium.

That's saying something for sure. I mean maybe a Space Marine curriculum could work, I mean they are the only groups that actively try to kill their recruits before they even see battle as a noviate.

[hamishspence]

If GW writer Sandy Mitchell had written Harry Potter, it would have been first person, Harry would have been incredibly snarky (especially in inner monologue), and it would have been annotated by Ginny Weasley.

And now I really want to read something like this....

[thorgrim29]

If GW writer Sandy Mitchell had written Harry Potter, it would have been first person, Harry would have been incredibly snarky (especially in inner monologue), and it would have been annotated by Ginny Weasley.

And now I really want to read something like this....

The Boy Who Lived they call me, what they don't teach in schools is that I survived however many of the ridiculously lethal situations the Universe keeps putting me in by doing everything in my not-inconsiderable power to get the hell away from them ASAP.

[khadgar567]

The Boy Who Lived they call me, what they don't teach in schools is that I survived however many of the ridiculously lethal situations the Universe keeps putting me in by doing everything in my not-inconsiderable power to get the hell away from them ASAP.

Looks like cipias cain and hary would be best friends cuz its the same phsycology both of them have