Customer Service: Rants, Raves, Back Pats, and Appreciation

[Peelee]

Me: "What kind of insurance do you have?"
Customer: "I have a few choice words to say about it, but I'm not going to go into politics." [spends the next 20 minutes talking about nothing but politics]

The joys of dealing with medical insurance, I tell ya...

[WarKitty]

I get it. When something goes wrong and you're upset, you want it fixed. But calling up to demand someone "do something" with no idea of what can actually be done (presuming the company does not have a high-level wizard on staff) doesn't do anything except annoy the staff.

Case in point: The car we sent smells a bit like smoke. That's an actual problem! But you don't want money back. You don't want to wait. You don't want to find alternate transportation. We've already had it marked for investigation. You appear to want me to instantly materialize a new vehicle at your location. That is not going to happen, because if I could do that I wouldn't be answering the phone.

[GloatingSwine]

You appear to want me to instantly materialize a new vehicle at your location. That is not going to happen, because if I could do that I wouldn't be answering the phone.

It is vitally important when answering the phone in any customer service role to not introduce yourself as Harry Potter. So as to set the customer's expectations some way below actual magic.



(That said, most of the time when they are complaining they are not actually looking for a solution, they are looking for an outlet to vent their frustration. Just let them get on with it. Do not give in to the need to justify why things went wrong, because that sounds like making excuses and nobody is interested in excuses. Let them vent, sound surprised that it went wrong even if it's the tenth time this hour, and always offer what you can do rather than trying to explain why you can't do something else. Pro tip, whenever you are acknowledging that something has gone wrong say "we", whenever you are offering solutions say "I". That means that the customer's frustrations remain directed at the company in general and are therefore diffuse and nonspecific but you are on their side.)

[WarKitty]

It is vitally important when answering the phone in any customer service role to not introduce yourself as Harry Potter. So as to set the customer's expectations some way below actual magic.



(That said, most of the time when they are complaining they are not actually looking for a solution, they are looking for an outlet to vent their frustration. Just let them get on with it. Do not give in to the need to justify why things went wrong, because that sounds like making excuses and nobody is interested in excuses. Let them vent, sound surprised that it went wrong even if it's the tenth time this hour, and always offer what you can do rather than trying to explain why you can't do something else. Pro tip, whenever you are acknowledging that something has gone wrong say "we", whenever you are offering solutions say "I". That means that the customer's frustrations remain directed at the company in general and are therefore diffuse and nonspecific but you are on their side.)

Except in most cases they are on the phone demanding that we "do something", but then rejecting every single possible option that I could offer. But they'll get angrier and angrier at you because you specifically are refusing to do anything for them.

A lot of times it's not even the passenger, it's a secretary or travel agent or someone too. So they don't even have the venting excuse.

[AMFV]

Except in most cases they are on the phone demanding that we "do something", but then rejecting every single possible option that I could offer. But they'll get angrier and angrier at you because you specifically are refusing to do anything for them.

A lot of times it's not even the passenger, it's a secretary or travel agent or someone too. So they don't even have the venting excuse.

Actually the secretary or travel agent probably has even more reason to be panicky and venty. Since they got the initial call from the person who was mad, who could fire them or replace them. So they have a lot of reason to be agitated, which is also why **** rolls downhill.

[WarKitty]

Actually the secretary or travel agent probably has even more reason to be panicky and venty. Since they got the initial call from the person who was mad, who could fire them or replace them. So they have a lot of reason to be agitated, which is also why **** rolls downhill.

True. Still, the main annoyance is that I am being blamed for not doing anything, while simultaneously being offered no solution and having any that I offer rejected.

[AMFV]

True. Still, the main annoyance is that I am being blamed for not doing anything, while simultaneously being offered no solution and having any that I offer rejected.

Fair enough, the problem with stuff rolling downhill is that it stops being able to discriminate well as it goes down the hill.

[GloatingSwine]

Except in most cases they are on the phone demanding that we "do something", but then rejecting every single possible option that I could offer. But they'll get angrier and angrier at you because you specifically are refusing to do anything for them.

Keep repeating the options you can offer. "What I can do for you is X, Y or Z which of those would you like?". Over and over again in response to basically anything they say that isn't choosing one of the options. They will break and choose one eventually and you avoid going off into the weeds explaining the laws of physics and/or bureaucracy that they don't care about.

[WarKitty]

Keep repeating the options you can offer. "What I can do for you is X, Y or Z which of those would you like?". Over and over again in response to basically anything they say that isn't choosing one of the options. They will break and choose one eventually and you avoid going off into the weeds explaining the laws of physics and/or bureaucracy that they don't care about.

In my experience, a lot of times that just makes them even angrier because you, personally, are refusing to do anything actually helpful and just repeating that stupid crap over and over again and not listening to them at all.

[Keltest]

In my experience, a lot of times that just makes them even angrier because you, personally, are refusing to do anything actually helpful and just repeating that stupid crap over and over again and not listening to them at all.

While this is true, you aren't a therapist, counselor or hug dispenser. Youre there to provide a specific service within a specific range. If they want you to do something outside of that, well, they should prepare for disappointment.


If you react to them, you could conceivably say something foolish that could lead to consequences. If you just outline what youre capable of doing and they just don't care, youre somewhat more protected from them trying to cause trouble for you later.

[GloatingSwine]

In my experience, a lot of times that just makes them even angrier because you, personally, are refusing to do anything actually helpful and just repeating that stupid crap over and over again and not listening to them at all.

There'll be some you can't win, but if you get into the weeds explaining why you can't do {thing} you always lose because it helps nobody and takes far longer.

The other thing is to not rise to meet their tone and behaviour, because that will cause them to escalate it in response.

By repeating the same options over and over again you can avoid rising to meet their tone. Ignore how they're speaking, calmly repeat the same options over and over again until they give in and pick one or go away.

Also, if they're the type that won't let you speak and keep butting in let them. Go silent. Mute your mic or even just take your headset off and let them talk to dead air.

When they stop and ask if you're still there, then carry on. If they barge in again do it again. They'll get the hint eventually, again without escalating your tone to meet theirs and driving them to higher states of annoyance/aggression.

[Wraith]

While this is true, you aren't a therapist, counselor or hug dispenser. Youre there to provide a specific service within a specific range. If they want you to do something outside of that, well, they should prepare for disappointment.

There is a particular point of British Law called the Sales of Goods Act, which is essentially the embodiment of this ; problem is, 90% of people only bother to read the first half of it, and that always ends in tears.

Specifically; the SoGA is consumer protection. It says that if you buy something from a shop and it is defective or otherwise unfit, you can return it to the shop for a refund, repair or replacement. This is the part that customers adore and will crow long and loudly about at every opportunity.
What they always - ALWAYS - fail to remember is that this sentence in question does not end with a period but with a semi-colon - it continues to say that which one you get is at the discretion of the shop according to what is financially viable, and NOT the customer's choice. We'd accommodate that if we could, but we were expressly relieved in law from being FORCED to do so.

It very quickly, when i was in electrical sales, reached the point where we printed off the legislation and kept a laminated copy of it at the till. Sometimes we didn't even bother to explain it; some guy would start up jabbing his finger, red in the face, demanding a brand new £700 TV "because I know the law!", and we'd just hand it to them and point at the two lines; one highlighted in green and the other in yellow, and let him read it. A surprising amount would realise that they had been beaten at that point - claiming to know the law backs you into a very specific corner, because then you're trying to bypass me as a human being and my employer as a retailer and appeal to a higher authority who, despite 'common knowledge', is there to see that BOTH sides are treated fairly. Customers are not sacrosanct merely for the fact of being customers.

Yet there were always some who doubled down. Angry, scowling, rude, accusing us (sometimes me, personally) of being liars and cheats, even threatening us with the law and a civil suit and then insistent that we should give them a full refund "as a sign of good faith" after we proved that we knew the law better.
We were very fortunate to have a strong manager; when this started to happen, we very deliberately lost all sympathy and we would only offer exactly what suited *us* best, and he was great for not even bothering to attend demands of "I want to see the manager" and instead told them over the 'phone that he wasn't interested in what they wanted - either deal with me and take what was offered, or leave.

[GloatingSwine]

There is a particular point of British Law called the Sales of Goods Act, which is essentially the embodiment of this ; problem is, 90% of people only bother to read the first half of it, and that always ends in tears.

Actually superceded now. Under the new CRA the customer has a 30 day right to reject goods that are unfit or faulty for a refund, after that the retailer gets one go to repair or replace the item if it's under six months old and the customer can ask for a refund if the repair or replacement was unsuccessful.

After six months the customer has to prove that the product was defective as sold and any refund if a repair or replacement is unsuccessful is likely to be partial to account for the time the product was owned.

[Wraith]

Actually superceded now. Under the new CRA the customer has a 30 day right to reject goods that are unfit or faulty for a refund, after that the retailer gets one go to repair or replace the item if it's under six months old and the customer can ask for a refund if the repair or replacement was unsuccessful.

After six months the customer has to prove that the product was defective as sold and any refund if a repair or replacement is unsuccessful is likely to be partial to account for the time the product was owned.

That all sounds the the same as the old Act, then.
What hasn't changed is that the retailer still gets to choose whether it's a refund, repair or replacement at the first point of complaint. As far as I recall (I've been out of direct sales for about 5 years so correct me if I'm wrong) the only relevant part updated is that it used to be that if the retailer chose to repair then they had to do it "within a reasonable amount of time" which was not properly codified, but more or less accepted to be within 28 days, though they allowed more for specialist or custom goods.

The stories that I had in mind almost never happened more than a couple of weeks after sales, in which case our customer always - ALWAYS - cited the European Law that allows for returns and partial refunds up to 3 years after sale (even though in England that is superceded by British Law which says 5 years )

It's not griping about the policy as such, more about the fact that my store took £1million turnover per week (and we weren't even the biggest in the area) as part of a business that owns 400 other similar sized stores. We *know* what the law is and how to run a shop, probably more so than Mr.Part-Time Bus Driver whose education predates the mandatory civics classes introduced in Britain in 2002.

[GloatingSwine]

That all sounds the the same as the old Act, then.
What hasn't changed is that the retailer still gets to choose whether it's a refund, repair or replacement at the first point of complaint. As far as I recall (I've been out of direct sales for about 5 years so correct me if I'm wrong) the only relevant part updated is that it used to be that if the retailer chose to repair then they had to do it "within a reasonable amount of time" which was not properly codified, but more or less accepted to be within 28 days, though they allowed more for specialist or custom goods.

Also if the repair or replacement doesn't work at the first attempt, then the customer can ask for a refund no matter how long it's been going on.

The stories that I had in mind almost never happened more than a couple of weeks after sales, in which case our customer always - ALWAYS - cited the European Law that allows for returns and partial refunds up to 3 years after sale (even though in England that is superceded by British Law which says 5 years )

Six years (5 in Scotland) :P

[Wraith]

Six years (5 in Scotland) :P

Slip of the tongue - "Another 5", is how I used to remember it.
1 year as standard, "another 5" for evaluation and partial refund, because if you tell people "6 years" it's technically not true as there's two separate parts to it.

Also, tell people "6 years" and they automatically assume that means a guaranteed replacement after half a decade. Voice of experience on that one, thanks to my dumbass supervisor not clarifying for some guy and leaving me to sort it out.

[Khedrac]

Be careful that we don't cross into legal advice beyond "a new version of this law exists - look it up if you want to know about it, don't ask here".

For me the law seems slightly unfair as it puts responsibility on the vendor not the manufacturer and I don't believe that the vendors have similar rights to then claim off the manufacturer when it's a flaw in the actual product (though one tyre place did ask my father to make a Sales of Goods Act claim on them as they wanted the evidence to go back to the manufacturer to say "your tyres are junk" - an example of excellent customer service by the tyre place imo).

Dad also once got a refund when the second replacement washing machine failed in exactly the same way as the first two - spraying water onto its control board which then shorted out after a couple of weeks of use - Dad claimed "not of merchandisable quality" and got his money back for a badly designed product.

Oddly enough this makes me think of a couple of big organisations - one with bad mandated customer service (i.e. it's the company to blame not the staff) and a bigger one with good customer policies (never tried their actual individual service).

Start with a national chain of catalogue shops - who take cash or credit/debit card payments only. One day I visited a branch with a friend (I was providing transport) to find that their card-reading machines were having a bad day and only accepting about 1 in 5 cards. The response? "There's a cashpoint round the corner." No matter that people were buying items costing hundreds of pounds nor that carbon counterfoils for cards have been around for years (and about that time a filling station I called at produced a brand new counterfoil sheet when their reader wasn't working) if their readers failed to read your card you had to use cash - in this instance it failed on my friend's cards but worked on the 3rd one I tried so I said I'd take a cheque.
Next the same chain of shops found some people with "chip and sign" cards not "chip and pin" cards - shouldn't be a problem, right? They are modern cards issued by the card companies (VISA I think in this case) for people who have a problem with chip & pin. No, the catalogue shop in its corporate wisdom said "chip and PIN only" and refused to accept them. The card complany (probably VISA) said "your contract requires you to accept all the cards we issue - would you like us to withdraw all our services from you?" and the catalogue shop realised the error of their ways.
I think I feel sorry for the staff who work in that chain - corporate policy is obviously to be as unfriendly as possible.

(*I was most impressed with the filling station's counterfoil sheet - it had rows for each different fuel type including LPG - which was how I knew they were not old stock but modern stock in case of system failure.)

[Keltest]

Be careful that we don't cross into legal advice beyond "a new version of this law exists - look it up if you want to know about it, don't ask here".

For me the law seems slightly unfair as it puts responsibility on the vendor not the manufacturer and I don't believe that the vendors have similar rights to then claim off the manufacturer when it's a flaw in the actual product (though one tyre place did ask my father to make a Sales of Goods Act claim on them as they wanted the evidence to go back to the manufacturer to say "your tyres are junk" - an example of excellent customer service by the tyre place imo).

Speaking from experience, vendors can and often will have something set up with the manufacturer to get partial or complete refunds for damaged products. Theres an understanding that sometimes things happen, and as long as we actually have proof that the product existed in the first place (usually a barcode or something) its pretty easy to just get a refund or replacement. That's part of why our inventory checks are important: they help prove that were being honest when we say something wasn't able to be sold.

[Wraith]

For me the law seems slightly unfair as it puts responsibility on the vendor not the manufacturer and I don't believe that the vendors have similar rights to then claim off the manufacturer when it's a flaw in the actual product (though one tyre place did ask my father to make a Sales of Goods Act claim on them as they wanted the evidence to go back to the manufacturer to say "your tyres are junk" - an example of excellent customer service by the tyre place imo).

Certainly where I worked, this is part of the reason as to why we were so pedantic in differentiating between the 6 month/1 year/6 years time frames. The company had contracts with their suppliers and manufacturers to return faulty items under very specific circumstances, and any we took back within those terms we would be refunded to us as manufacturing error. When the fault occurred, determined who we had to refer the problem to; supplier, manufacturer and corporate respectively. Anyone who wouldn't agree to such a contract, didn't do business with us - we were a big enough company that we had the power of refusal even to the likes of Toshiba, Kodak and (for a while) Apple.

Any we took back outside of those circumstances was rejected without appeal and would come off of our own budget. 50% of my job was examining returned items to discern what was actually wrong with them, and fixing them if possible before escalating the case to a contracted repair service.

You probably wouldn't believe what some people tried to call "manufacturing faults" after they thought they had figured out our system. An LCD TV with a big dent and 'spider web' fracture pattern in the middle of the screen, an iPad whose Home button had been pushed so hard that it had indented into the motherboard, an Epson printer that had a Canon ink partridge jammed into it so hard that the carriage had broken free....

[Khedrac]

Speaking from experience, vendors can and often will have something set up with the manufacturer to get partial or complete refunds for damaged products.

Certainly where I worked, this is part of the reason as to why we were so pedantic in differentiating between the 6 month/1 year/6 years time frames.

It's nice to hear that businesses usually have some protection - especially is this thread is mainly about put-upon businesses and put-upon employees.

[Peelee]

Customer: Hey, I'd like to get a mask through insurance, you guys have me on file.
Me: Great! What's the name?
Customer: Smith.

Yes, that's more than enough to pull your file, you're clearly the only person with that name that's ever come in here.

On the one hand, I'm slightly grumpier than normal today. On the other, this happens way more than it ever should. Mr. Funionrings can pull that and have it work. Mr. West cannot. And they should know that, dangit.

[Seerow]

Customer: Hey, I'd like to get a mask through insurance, you guys have me on file.
Me: Great! What's the name?
Customer: Smith.

Yes, that's more than enough to pull your file, you're clearly the only person with that name that's ever come in here.

On the one hand, I'm slightly grumpier than normal today. On the other, this happens way more than it ever should. Mr. Funionrings can pull that and have it work. Mr. West cannot. And they should know that, dangit.

Most places I've worked don't actually pull up anything by name, but still ask for name first as a courtesy. Could be that's what the customer was expecting.

What gets me is when I ask for an email address, and the person on the phone has something really unusual, but say it once quickly, then get irate when you ask them to repeat or spell it. Similarly anytime the email includes lots of n's and M's or D's and B's, and then they get upset when I have to go letter by letter to figure out what their email actually is.

[The Glyphstone]

I was lucky enough to be raised by a pilot, so I default to phonetic alphabet whenever I'm on the phone. Helps a lot except when I forget one of them and have to improvise.

[Traab]

This is less a rant about idiot customers and more a general rant. I work in the parts department of an auto shop. I would estimate at least twice a day, ofte more, we get this exchage

Customer: "Hi, I need to get x part"

Us: "Ok, that will cost 500 bucks, are you sure you want it?"

Customer: "Yep!"

/orders part to be delivered

/two hours later

Customer: "Never mind, I wont get it now, maybe later"

Us: "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!"

See, we have to pay for those parts, often we can cancel the order, sometimes we can even return it for a refund, but that is not always the case, and when that happens we are stuck with a random part, nowhere to put it, and out 500 bucks because that customer is never, ever coming back for it and the odds of another customer walking through the door with a 2013 elantra with that engine type, and that exact issue, are fairly low. (Otherwise we would carry a stack of that item) I realize its thoughtlessness, not malice, cruelty, or even outright stupidity which is why I dont insult them for doing it, but come on people, parts arent free, not even for the company itself. Stop ordering and canceling. And no, im not sure why we dont get paid in advance. Its probably some sort of customer service deal where we make sure its the right part (you would be surprised how often its not) first or else it turns into an obnoxious game of credits, debits, and math to figure out how much money they get back, or still owe for the actual piece needed.

[Peelee]

Most places I've worked don't actually pull up anything by name, but still ask for name first as a courtesy. Could be that's what the customer was expecting.

Medical field (kinda). Name and date of birth are king. Imean, we could assign them customer numbers or by insurance contract numbers, but everyone knows their name and dob offhand, they're easy to convey, and they're universally used. If a doctor calls and asks for therapy data, they ID patients by name and dob. When I make an appointment with my doc, they want name and dob.

I maintain that saying "Smith" is patently unhelpful, and when they've been coming to us for a couple years, they should know that. If they're ever shocked or confused about how their insurance works, I'll cut em all the slack in the world; that stuff can get ridiculous. But if they specifically ask me to pull up their history and just give me a last name to go off, I'ma judge them. Except, of course, for the HIPAA-means-youre-not-getting-his-real-name Mr. Funionrings. Damned memorable name, and I know ain't nobody else has it.

[Keltest]

Medical field (kinda). Name and date of birth are king. Imean, we could assign them customer numbers or by insurance contract numbers, but everyone knows their name and dob offhand, they're easy to convey, and they're universally used. If a doctor calls and asks for therapy data, they ID patients by name and dob. When I make an appointment with my doc, they want name and dob.

I maintain that saying "Smith" is patently unhelpful, and when they've been coming to us for a couple years, they should know that. If they're ever shocked or confused about how their insurance works, I'll cut em all the slack in the world; that stuff can get ridiculous. But if they specifically ask me to pull up their history and just give me a last name to go off, I'ma judge them. Except, of course, for the HIPAA-means-youre-not-getting-his-real-name Mr. Funionrings. Damned memorable name, and I know ain't nobody else has it.

I mean, did you ASK him for his DOB? because even with a first name, its not out of the realm of possibility that he had a common first name as well.

[Douglas]

Medical field (kinda). Name and date of birth are king. Imean, we could assign them customer numbers or by insurance contract numbers, but everyone knows their name and dob offhand, they're easy to convey, and they're universally used. If a doctor calls and asks for therapy data, they ID patients by name and dob. When I make an appointment with my doc, they want name and dob.

I remember a story about one time where my mother called a hospital about my older sister, and her full name and date of birth together still only narrowed it down to two people.

[Peelee]

I mean, did you ASK him for his DOB? because even with a first name, its not out of the realm of possibility that he had a common first name as well.

Nope, because 9 times out of ten we don't need it. Less than that, really; I only ask if I see we have multiple patients with that name, which is surprisingly uncommon. Regardless, narrowing it down to three or four people is still more helpful than half a file cabinet drawer of people.

I remember a story about one time where my mother called a hospital about my older sister, and her full name and date of birth together still only narrowed it down to two people.

Ha! We've never needed to confirm ID by address, but we can if it ever arises. We did have two people with the same name (down to middle initial) come in for machines a week apart from each other. The was a little confusing before we realized the deal.

[Traab]

I remember a story about one time where my mother called a hospital about my older sister, and her full name and date of birth together still only narrowed it down to two people.

I got in trouble because someone with my full name and birthdate had an overdue library book and I got blamed for it. Still bump into this issue sometimes.

[Maryring]

Me: XXX my name is XXX how can I help you.

C: Yeah I was wondering about something regarding my account. My DOB is XXX.

Me: Okay and what's your name?

C: I need you to (blahblahblah)

Me: Yes, but could you please give me your name? Or perhaps your address?

C: I'm at (address that doesn't exist). Tell me X about my account!

Me: There doesn't seem to be anything on that address. Could you please give me your name?

C: I'VE TOLD YOU BEFORE MY DOB IS XXX. YOU GOTTA NOTE THIS DOWN!

Me: I have, but there are several people who share your DOB. Can you please give me your name?

C: My (not a name at all, but a different identifier) is XXX.

Me: I'm sorry but there is nothing on that identifier either. Can you please give me your name?

C: MY DOB I XXX! I'M GONNA CALL THE COPS ON YOU!

---

Best part? He wasn't even our customer in the first place.