Awful Monster Names

[Venger]

No.

"Were" comes from the Latin "vir," which also gives us the word "virile." It's very much masculine, and was used to denote such.

Man = Neuter
Wifman = Feminine
Wereman = Masculine

Wereman was eventually dropped in the 14th century.

No, werewolf comes from the Old English "were"

[Obscuraphile]

No, werewolf comes from the Old English "were"

Personally, I would trace it back further than Old English, but you've got the right linguistic lineage.

[Venger]

Personally, I would trace it back further than Old English, but you've got the right linguistic lineage.

I'm aware the Latinate "vir" is older, but to my knowledge, the etymologies aren't related.

Great username/post combo.

[Obscuraphile]

I'm aware the Latinate "vir" is older, but to my knowledge, the etymologies aren't related.

Oh, they aren't as far as I'm aware either. I just meant that I would place 'were' as being proto-germanic in origin rather than setting it in Old English.

[Venger]

Oh, they aren't as far as I'm aware either. I just meant that I would place 'were' as being proto-germanic in origin rather than setting it in Old English.

I thought old english was proto-germanic?

on-topic, and semi-related: jackalwere (man there are a lot of 3.0 monsters in this thread)

you're not a werejackal. you're something else. you just also can turn into a jackal, hybrid, or any humanoid. not like a werejackal at all. also you shoot lasers out of your eyes to put people to sleep. a symbolic power associated with jackals ever since ancient egypt.

[Obscuraphile]

I thought old english was proto-germanic?

No, not in the sense I'm speaking of. If by proto-germanic you mean a predecessor to the modern Germanic language spoken today, yes, in a sense. You start to run into issues of documentation very quickly in this sort of thing, however there was a language that linguistic historians actually refer to as Proto-Germanic. Old English is to the Proto-Germanic language as English is to Old English. The term 'were' or more properly the term that turned into the term 'were' was first seen in the Proto-Germanic tongue.

[Venger]

No, not in the sense I'm speaking of. If by proto-germanic you mean a predecessor to the modern Germanic language spoken today, yes, in a sense. You start to run into issues of documentation very quickly in this sort of thing, however there was a language that linguistic historians actually refer to as Proto-Germanic. Old English is to the Proto-Germanic language as English is to Old English. The term 'were' or more properly the term that turned into the term 'were' was first seen in the Proto-Germanic tongue.

yes, that's how I was using the term, a predecessor to Germanic languages.

grimweirds are a bad name in the vein of maulgoth. you can't just take two dark or spoopy words and smash them together like the two-headed monster from sesame street to make a monster.

[The Viscount]

on-topic, and semi-related: jackalwere (man there are a lot of 3.0 monsters in this thread)

you're not a werejackal. you're something else. you just also can turn into a jackal, hybrid, or any humanoid. not like a werejackal at all. also you shoot lasers out of your eyes to put people to sleep. a symbolic power associated with jackals ever since ancient egypt.

This is made more confusing by the fact that the art for the creature is, if anything, far more reminiscent of the spotted hyena

Spoiler: If not that explain these spots

Show

Well maybe the very next monster, the jackal lord, can show us how it's done.

Spoiler: Nope, though he does show us how to be stylish

Show

That's certainly not what a jackal looks like. I suppose it's meant to evoke Anubis, who is sometimes described as jackal-headed. But jackals don't have black heads, and Anubis only exists for reference in Faerun, so that doesn't work too well.

The point is that neither monster looks like this

Spoiler: There are several species but none of them look like the monsters

Show

[Thurbane]

He looks like John Carpenter's "The Thing" when it turned into the dog with a lamprey mouth and a bunch of rocks coming out of his back.

It always kind of reminds me of those sonic dog things from the original Half Life.

[Jay R]

"Were" has been used to mean both "male human" and "human".

Etymology is not definition, or "digital computing" would mean counting on your fingers.

[ShurikVch]

The worst example I can come up with is "dinosaur", which means "terrible lizard", for a creature related to birds, not lizards.

Aren't they kinda related to both?

Specific examples include Ankylosaurus, Apatosaurus, Brontosaurus, Stegosaurus, Tyrannosaurus Rex, etc.

And what's so bad about those names?
(Also, weren't Apatosaurus and Brontosaurus, actually, the same animal?)

Ooh I have know a lot of these...

I'm kinda surprised Hydra wasn't in your list

Because, look:

1. It have poisonous tentacles
2. It have regeneration on par with Ooze's Split ability
3. It's everliving, and never aging

So, once again - why we don't have such monster in our D&D?
Oh yeah - because of Lernaean Hydra. (And it was nerfed to the ground - no god-killing venom, and no immortality )

Bugbear: A brutish goblinoid which has no association with bugs or bears.

Spoiler: MLP:FiM to rescue!

Show

Some jokes:

Spoiler: Umber Hulk

Show

is the strongest
of House Umber!

Spoiler: Half-Elf, Half-Orc, and all other "Half-..." races which aren't have any other name

Show

... like this...

[Obscuraphile]

"Were" has been used to mean both "male human" and "human".

Etymology is not definition, or "digital computing" would mean counting on your fingers.

Okay, so context matters. But where a word can mean two things it should be read as the thing that makes sense. Therefore if you read the female werewolf, you should read the female human-wolf hybrid creature, not the female male-human-wolf hybrid creature

[Obscuraphile]

Oh yeah - because of Lernaean Hydra. (And it was nerfed to the ground - no god-killing venom, and no immortality )

And who's signature move doesn't make mechanical sense within the system which nobody would ever fall for anyways!

[The Viscount]

And who's signature move doesn't make mechanical sense within the system which nobody would ever fall for anyways!

The designers of the hydra try to bait you into cutting off its heads by giving them some of the higher values for fast healing (especially those at the lower CRs).
This is also like the one time you can do something legitimately useful with the Weapon and Torch feat, though with the threshold only being reached a third of the time, you've got to ask yourself do I feel lucky? Well do ya, punk?

[Arkain]

I thought old english was proto-germanic?

yes, that's how I was using the term, a predecessor to Germanic languages.

In linguistics, "proto-language" usually refers to a language that doesn't exist in the sense that we can't properly prove it, only reconstruct it, i.e. a kind of hypothetical progenitor. Old English is no such thing, as we have surviving texts written in it, like Beowulf.

[Thurbane]

Abrian (FF): "Hey look everyone, it's a Brian!".

Aventi (St): brings back memories of high school Italian classes: https://tinyurl.com/yde6xs6x

Blue (XPH): I'm blue da ba dee da ba daa. Such an awful, awful song.

Carcass Crab (ECS): Monster, or brutal death metal act?

Chilblain (Fr): Near epic level monster, or skin condition?

Corpse Gatherer (MM2): Now playing on a double bill with Carcass Crab!

Deathbringer/Deathdrinker/Deathshrieker: I'm sensing a theme here...

Fomorian / Formian: Ketchup, catsup? (Yes, I'm aware of the mythological origins of Formorians).

Gaspar (PlH): let the poor thing catch it's breath already!

Ghargatula (BoVD): sounds like some kind of Lovecraftian kitchen utensil.

Hoary Hunter (ELH): if only he has some kind of, I don't know, Hoary Steed?

Horrid Animal (ECS): https://tinyurl.com/y7su8o5p https://tinyurl.com/ybmahs65

Justicator (MM3): Sounds like a villain or hero from Power Rangers.

I don't mind nonsense/made up names as such, but some are just awful and/or difficult to pronounce:

• Aoa (FF)
• Artaaglith (Gh)
• Bheur (UE)
• Bulezau (FC1) (it's a shame, I actually like the monster a lot)
• Cavvekan (RoF)
• Chraal (MM3)(again, a shame because I like the monster)
• Faerzress-Infused Creature (Und)
• Fihyr (MM2) (yeah, we get it, it's fear...RME)
• Folugub (XPH)
• Gadacro (MM5)
• Geriviar (MM3)
• Guecubu (FC1) (the kids can call you HoJu)
• Hashalaq Quori (SoS)
• Hobyah (Standing Stone)
• Hunefer (ELH)
• Ixzan (LEoF)
• Kelvezu (MM2)
• Kuldurath (FF)

[Telok]

Pazio's Starfinder (PF in spaaaaaace) has the usual problem of attempting to fill a 3.x style MM with 'alien' species. They manage a couple of interesting non-humans among the general slew of humans with rubber foreheads/arm extensions/fake ears. But they really have an issue with names...

wrikreechee
shobhad
reptoid
frujai
and of course... space goblins.

[Zaq]

OK, let's flip the script a bit. (This may warrant its own thread.) We've got complaints about monsters that pull their names from outside mythology/folklore, we've got complaints about monsters that just make up gibberish names, and we've got complaints about monsters whose names are basically just everyday words in some kind of combination.

Now, I recognize that not all of those complaints are coming from the same people at the same time, but still, that does seem to leave us with relatively few options. Just for the sake of discussion, what GOOD options are there for naming fantasy critters (which, I will remind you, do not exist and are often being made up on the spot with no real frame of reference)?

[Obscuraphile]

OK, let's flip the script a bit. (This may warrant its own thread.) We've got complaints about monsters that pull their names from outside mythology/folklore, we've got complaints about monsters that just make up gibberish names, and we've got complaints about monsters whose names are basically just everyday words in some kind of combination.

Now, I recognize that not all of those complaints are coming from the same people at the same time, but still, that does seem to leave us with relatively few options. Just for the sake of discussion, what GOOD options are there for naming fantasy critters (which, I will remind you, do not exist and are often being made up on the spot with no real frame of reference)?

I don't know about good options, but I will throw out what I think is a good rule:

Don't go for one word names over 2 syllables, they never seem to work.

[Venger]

OK, let's flip the script a bit. (This may warrant its own thread.) We've got complaints about monsters that pull their names from outside mythology/folklore, we've got complaints about monsters that just make up gibberish names, and we've got complaints about monsters whose names are basically just everyday words in some kind of combination.

Now, I recognize that not all of those complaints are coming from the same people at the same time, but still, that does seem to leave us with relatively few options. Just for the sake of discussion, what GOOD options are there for naming fantasy critters (which, I will remind you, do not exist and are often being made up on the spot with no real frame of reference)?

It would be confusing to post both kinds of names in the same thread. post good monster names over here instead

[Thurbane]

The Abrian is the gift that keeps on giving. Not only does it name sound like some dudes name, I'd forgotten that the monster is an evil, intelligent, shrieking ostrich form the Abyss. I couldn't make this stuff up!

[Venger]

Man, I love forgettable 3.0 monsters that are just goofy looking animals and then at the end it throws in "also they are evil so it's ok when you grind them into hamburger meat in droves to xp grind" like another funny monster with a stupid name, the legacied catoblepas he just hangs out and eats grass and is a big long-necked cow who won't give you any trouble except once a month he goes into a lunar madness, tears through the countryside like a lowland reiver, and shoots death rays out of his eyes.

[Luccan]

Blue (XPH): I'm blue da ba dee da ba daa. Such an awful, awful song.

How about Gobluen? Or hey, it's a psionic goblinoid, what about naming it after the popular series from Kozakura, Gob Psycho 100?

[Bohandas]

OK, let's flip the script a bit. (This may warrant its own thread.) We've got complaints about monsters that pull their names from outside mythology/folklore, we've got complaints about monsters that just make up gibberish names, and we've got complaints about monsters whose names are basically just everyday words in some kind of combination.

And don't forget the people complaining about the names that are from mythology; both the ones correctly used (roc, salamander, eetc) and the ones incorrectly used (gorgon, changeling, etc)

[Zombimode]

It always kind of reminds me of those sonic dog things from the original Half Life.

Funnily enough, Houndeyes feel right at home in this thread.

To be fair, Houndeye (and all the other names like Alien Slave, Shock Trooper, Bullsquid etc.) are not necessarily the in-universe names, they are just the names of the models in the game.

[WhamBamSam]

The Abrian is the gift that keeps on giving. Not only does it name sound like some dudes name, I'd forgotten that the monster is an evil, intelligent, shrieking ostrich form the Abyss. I couldn't make this stuff up!

Note also the tiny human arms. They randomly also happen to be one of the lower ECL ways of being a magical beast (the lowest one that I know of discounting creatures that only have cohort LA, and cheesing it via Aspect of the Wolf+Awaken/Planar Familiar). I was going to use a Zargon/Juiblex* cult with a lot of Abrian members as bad guys in a game I was running a while back, but they only showed up once at a slave market before the campaign died.

Speaking of magical beasts with cohort LA, Tressym bothers me a little. It doesn't look like it should be hard to pronounce (like some of the demon names that have come up) but is. The other LA +0 (Cohort) magical beast, the Beguiler, has a name that doesn't really describe what it's actual abilities are, but the old joke of the Beguiler Beguiler gets it a pass.

*Though it's far from the worst offender among demon names, my brain really wants it to be Jubilex, so might as well call attention to it as well.

[The Viscount]

I love that even though the Abrian's arm is tiny, it's still totally jacked. They must lift tiny weights in their spare time.

On the subject of Juiblex, you're not alone. In the web enhancement for BoVD, Monte himself calls the Faceless Lord Jubilex. I have the memory of somewhere, though I can't recall where, him even being referred to as Jubiblex.

[Bohandas]

*Though it's far from the worst offender among demon names, my brain really wants it to be Jubilex, so might as well call attention to it as well.

Same here, because unlike "Juiblex", "Jubilex" is actually pronouncable

[Zaq]

*Though it's far from the worst offender among demon names, my brain really wants it to be Jubilex, so might as well call attention to it as well.

Similarly, it was years before I realized that the name of that inevitable is “kolyarut” (my rough non-IPA mental pronunciation being KOL-ya-rut) rather than “kolaryut” (which I imagined to be roughly ko-LA-ree-yut)

[Bohandas]

Similarly, it was years before I realized that the name of that inevitable is “kolyarut” (my rough non-IPA mental pronunciation being KOL-ya-rut) rather than “kolaryut” (which I imagined to be roughly ko-LA-ree-yut)

I always pronounced it ko-le-ar-rut