Your favourite variation on "Rocks fall, everyone dies"

[Vexxation]

That sounds like an awesome name for a ninth level spell, Will Save or feel so insignificant that you lose all motivation to do anything.

Yeah, but the material component is a pain...

Wait! Spell Component pouches are generally considered to hold however much of a component you need. (Yes, I realize that's limited to "normal" components, but work with me here...)

And the Vortex runs on cake.

Ending world hunger now costs, what, 5 gold, and has never tasted so goooood!

[chiasaur11]

Yeah, but the material component is a pain...

Wait! Spell Component pouches are generally considered to hold however much of a component you need. (Yes, I realize that's limited to "normal" components, but work with me here...)

And the Vortex runs on cake.

Ending world hunger now costs, what, 5 gold, and has never tasted so goooood!

But...
[overusedmeme] The cake is a lie! [/overused meme]]

[Vexxation]

But...
[overusedmeme] The cake is a lie! [/overused meme]]

Ah, but it's not!

Spoiler

Show

If you watch the entire end of the game, it pans across a room *full* of GLaDoS's replacement cores, as well as a very lonely-looking cake on a table, complete with lit candle. So, while Chell was never getting the cake, it was, in fact, waiting for her

[Chronos]

Tippy's wizards could affect the fabric of reality.
I think that impacts the universe.

Isn't that what all wizards do, by definition? That still leaves the question of scale.

[Collin152]

Isn't that what all wizards do, by definition?

Nono, as in, universally.
Alter reality for everybody everywhere.

Like, inverting Gravity, universally. I'm sure that's not beyond the capabilities of a level 21 wizard.

[Vexxation]

Nono, as in, universally.
Alter reality for everybody everywhere.

Like, inverting Gravity, universally. I'm sure that's not beyond the capabilities of a level 21 wizard.

Huzzah for Gating Solars!!

[Collin152]

I'm pretty sure kiling a god would also impactthe universe.
Tippy wizards could do that.

[monty]

Like, inverting Gravity, universally. I'm sure that's not beyond the capabilities of a level 21 wizard.

When the brokenness of epic casting is taken fully into account, I'm pretty sure literally nothing is beyond the capabilities of a level 21 wizard.

[thegurullamen]

You're all assuming, of course, that the world of your average D&D campaign is much like ours and that the sky eventually gives way to the infinite vacuum filled with a million bajillion googleplexes of stars, the most insane depths of space, Cthulu's lost auntie and Gan's naval lint all in that order. Who's to say the sky doesn't just give way to the elemental plane of air or that the stars in the sky are the souls of the most evil fiends, trapped and slowly burning out over the course of human history? This is a world where mages can cast KNOCK WISH for the gods' sakes!! Sometimes logic takes a backseat to the unstoppable duo of Awesome and Badass.

Also, never forget that this is a medieval setting where some of the most irrational beliefs of the human race (monsters and magic spring immediately to mind) are not only true, but undeniably so. That said, maybe the Earth is flat and smack dab in the middle of the cosmos which is a series of spheres containing planetoids and pretty lights and nothing more. Should this be the case, to affect the Earth is to affect the universe or at least the best part of it.

[Sstoopidtallkid]

My best way? Kobold Rogues. With Crossbows, maxed Dex, and a religious hatred of (party member's favorite clothing). Hide+Move Silently, surprise round. Roll a couple d100s, declare all of them target the player you want dead, then roll attack and damage. Once he's dead, the Kobolds die easily to the rest of the party.

Then, when it's all over, look at him and say "HOW THE HELL DID THAT KILL YOU?!? It's a MOOK BATTLE! Against KOBOLDS! BELOW YOUR CR!"

He may well cry. ;)

[BigPapaSmurf]

I dont kill PCs unless they ask to be killed, unfortunately they are pretty stupid on average.

DM: You have unwittingly triggered the device and the walls go black, from the darkness emerges twenty or more very large demons all wielding flaming executioner's axes. They surround your party and prevent your escape...
Lvl 5 PC: I attack the nearest one.
DM: ... oh... ok.. You are cleaved in twain.

I also had to put traps on most of the valuables as this PC would immediatly run to grab whatever he could. I'd call him a munchkin, but that would be insulting to munchkins.

[Dairun Cates]

Running Paranoia XP. Players are examining what is essentially a 2nd edition D&D trap dungeon. Think Tomb of Horrors. Someone sees gems in the ceiling and wants to take them to R&D. There's a chain connected to them. He climbs up and unplugs them. The lakes drains and sucks everyone into a hole where they're trapped with a shark and then the ceiling gives way... and well...

"Rocks fall, everyone dies, next clone."

[chiasaur11]

Running Paranoia XP. Players are examining what is essentially a 2nd edition D&D trap dungeon. Think Tomb of Horrors. Someone sees gems in the ceiling and wants to take them to R&D. There's a chain connected to them. He climbs up and unplugs them. The lakes drains and sucks everyone into a hole where they're trapped with a shark and then the ceiling gives way... and well...

"Rocks fall, everyone dies, next clone."

Wait. He did that... in Paranoia?
What kinda daisy skipping innocents we dealing with here?

And can I interest them in some Nigerian real estate?

[Maryring]

Hmm, I guess my favourite variation of "Rocks fall, everyone dies" is

"A Balor teleports in. He is hungry. You're dinner."

Course, if the party is actually capable of dealing with a Balor, you add some HD and stats to make him more powerful.

[AlexanderRM]

Total Perspective Vortex is a beautiful way to kill.

Sigging that.

Ummm... You fall, rock dies...

And that.

The Butterfly Effect is maximized when the butterfly can bend space-time to its will.

And that.

Yeah, but the material component is a pain...

No, it's a focus component.
You have to present a universe to the subject.

Nono, as in, universally.
Alter reality for everybody everywhere.

Tippy Wizard: Okay, I use my alter reality ability. Could I see that DMG for a second?

Also, this idea intrigues me... could someone direct me to instructions on how to become one of these?
However, I don't think a 21st level wizard could alter reality for everyone, everywhere. That's way beyond the capacity of a 10th level spell, no matter how large the XP and material component costs are.

[Vexxation]

Also, this idea intrigues me... could someone direct me to instructions on how to become one of these?
However, I don't think a 21st level wizard could alter reality for everyone, everywhere. That's way beyond the capacity of a 10th level spell, no matter how large the XP and material component costs are.

If you Gate in enough Solars to donate spell slots, anything is possible. You could even use the Gate'd Solar's Wish to Wish for a Scroll of Gate.

[tyckspoon]

However, I don't think a 21st level wizard could alter reality for everyone, everywhere. That's way beyond the capacity of a 10th level spell, no matter how large the XP and material component costs are.

Short answer? Epic Spellcasting using bound spellcasting Outsiders (Couatls/Solars/Epic Force Dragons/etc) to contribute to a Ritual casting. Given a sufficient timescale to perform the bindings an arbitrarily high Spellcraft DC can be mitigated to 0.. which makes researching any Epic spell practically instantaneous (I think it still nominally takes a day) and free, as well as costing no XP to cast. The only reason a wizard under Tippy's program doesn't affect the entire universe is because he has chosen not to. It's well within his capacity.

[AlexanderRM]

If you Gate in enough Solars to donate spell slots, anything is possible. You could even use the Gate'd Solar's Wish to Wish for a Scroll of Gate.

Okay, uh... first, how do you get the donate spell slots thing?
and second, I'm not sure there are enough solars. I mean, I got the impression that solars are pretty rare.

Also don't know what a "ritual casting" is. Is this 4.0 or just non-core 3.5? Or some borrowed old rules?


Come to think of it, I recently came up with an easier plan:
#1. Summon a Glabrezu.
#2. Get the Glabrezu to use wish to give you the ability to cast wish without restrictions. (according to the creature description, it can use it to grant a mortal humanoid "whatever he or she desires"- but it's one of those "there is a price to pay" things.
#3. Wish for some ability that lets you cast an indefinite number of wish spells per day.
#4. Wish for whatever else you want.
#5. Profit.
I now must make a wizard character and try that out.

[monty]

Exponential growth is a wonderful thing, isn't it...

[monty]

Okay, uh... first, how do you get the donate spell slots thing?

Epic spellcasting rules.

and second, I'm not sure there are enough solars. I mean, I got the impression that solars are pretty rare.

Where does it say that?

Also don't know what a "ritual casting" is. Is this 4.0 or just non-core 3.5? Or some borrowed old rules?

Again, epic spellcasting.

Come to think of it, I recently came up with an easier plan:
#1. Summon a Glabrezu.
#2. Get the Glabrezu to use wish to give you the ability to cast wish without restrictions. (according to the creature description, it can use it to grant a mortal humanoid "whatever he or she desires"- but it's one of those "there is a price to pay" things.
#3. Wish for some ability that lets you cast an indefinite number of wish spells per day.
#4. Wish for whatever else you want.
#5. Profit.
I now must make a wizard character and try that out.

What is that, alternate path to Pun-Pun?

[Vexxation]

Okay, uh... first, how do you get the donate spell slots thing?
and second, I'm not sure there are enough solars. I mean, I got the impression that solars are pretty rare.

The heavens are infinite, like the Hells, so in an infinite space there are infinite inhabitants.

Also don't know what a "ritual casting" is. Is this 4.0 or just non-core 3.5? Or some borrowed old rules?

It's 3.5, Epic Level stuff wherein other spell casters can offer up spell slots to pool for one big spell or spell creation. Since Solars have both Wish and spell slots, they make ideal candidates for Gate abuse.

[snowbard55]

3.5 D&D.

As DM
The party had this one rogue who really overplayed the thief thing. Even if it was nailed down they would try to steal it. It caused a lot of problems for the party (including getting them on death row, almost killed by a group of paladins, having an orc's greataxe in the cleric's kidney(he got better), and being forced to run from a mob of enraged dwarves) So I decided to devise a little trap. It goes something like this.
Me: You come upon the campsite of two human females and male gnome. They are sitting around a campfire eating. You notice that they have a fancy looking gold staute of a dragon.
Half Elf Bard: Alright, I'll walk up and see if we can rest at their site and share information.
Me: Alright, the gnome greets you and offers you a place by the fire to talk for a while.
Troublesome Human Rogue: I'll sneak up and try to steal the statue.
Me: I thought as much. You touch the statue and are instantaneously turned to dust. It was guarded by a powerful spell put on it by one of the human females, who is an Epic level wizard.
Rogue: What!? Thats bull! Don't I get a Will save or something?
Me: No. It's magic. Deal with it.
(she got the message after that)

As player
i'm going to level here. We deserved this. The party(consisting of a human sorcerer(me), a half-orc fighter, a human druid, and an elf ranger) had ignored the campaign altogether and started just raiding villages and murdering innocents. It goes like this.

DM: You come across a peacful farming village.
Party: We raid it.
DM: Are your sure? There are puppies in it.
Party: So? We'll make zombie puppies!(I had Animate Dead)
DM: OK, I warned you. Turns out the village was actually a Lich's castle under an illusion. Unfortunatley, you've already barged and the Lich has blasted you and raised you as his unholy zombie minions.
Me: But...puppies.
DM: You were not the first one to think of zombie puppies.

Zombie puppies is now our running gag.

[Pie Guy]

"Asmodeus pities you enough to put you out of your misery."

[Renegade Paladin]

We don't call it Rocks fall... We call it the DM's Mighty purple lightning bolt.

although my favorite was from my last game...

Thor aims his mighty Purple Lazor (yes its spelled this way purposely) at you.
me: oh sh-....
A mighty lazor strikes you from deep in the heavens. Quick roll this.
The DM hands me a d20.
i roll a 19. "Awesome what do i add?"
this
He undoes his rather large dice box... and lets loose all the dice.
now multiply this by seven-
"awe crap...
-hundred. Thats the damage done to you by Thor's Minor Purple Lazor.

all this cause I spent too much time screwing around and making fun of his Gnome bard =P
go figure

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73NTtRuMn3E

[infinitypanda]

Cthulhu wakes up, and asks the party where the bathroom is. *entire partys heads explode*

My favorite variation of that is, "Cthulhu falls, 1d3 PC's die."

[metalbear]

While my DM generally doesn't punish us with Rocks fall from the sky, he takes a more sinister rout for punishing us. After killing a number of undead guarding the tomb of a wizard my warforged fighter accidentally triggers a magic mouth and it says something along the lines of "you fools, blah blah blah". The party then made fun of the DM for using such an old cliche'. Once we open the sarcafigus and see a corpse holding a shining sword. Being a new player (my first time playing) I yell "Dibs" and my character reaches down and his hand passes through the illusion and brushes against something hard and circular. I then have him grab it. Lo' and behold it is a cursed rock and leads to a number of shenanigans that ends up with us using it to rob merchants and other NPCs. We never continued that adventure, when asked why we were not playing it anymore he said "Cursed rocks fell from the sky".

[Aquillion]

Ah, but it's not!

Spoiler

Show

If you watch the entire end of the game, it pans across a room *full* of GLaDoS's replacement cores, as well as a very lonely-looking cake on a table, complete with lit candle. So, while Chell was never getting the cake, it was, in fact, waiting for her

Spoiler

Show

Did you pay attention to what the cake-making sphere said? I don't think you'd want to eat that cake. I'm not even sure it does qualify as cake.

[chiasaur11]

My favorite variation of that is, "Cthulhu falls, 1d3 PC's die."

Shoulda worn your tinfoil hat.

More people had the sense to use those, CoC would have people making it out alive and sane.

[Waspinator]

I've always wanted to do this:


The party is fighting a giant bird. They manage to shoot it down, only to have it fall on and crush some important NPC. His dying words would be: "Remember... when rocs fall.... you die....."

[infinitypanda]

Shoulda worn your tinfoil hat.

More people had the sense to use those, CoC would have people making it out alive and sane.

Considering how many things kill your SAN score just by looking at them, maybe tinfoil glasses would be better