Dish's Delightfully Deranged and Deliciously Deliquent Random Banter # 106

[Thanatos 51-50]

We know squid bones exist, we have seen, touched and manipulated them. We have even writtin our names with them.

[CurlyKitGirl]

So, I had this whim to watch a memetastic film after reading some of those Customer's Not Lways Right posts - so it's 300 for choice.
I've seen it once before in Classics and I was impressed by the lakes of CGI blood spilt. And the improbable monsters and the scenes that look inpired by drugs.
The one with the goat head thing in the brothel with Xerxes (how can they stand to wear all that chainy jewely and piercings. Annoying at best, painful at worst) was strange.
Ah, films based on comics based on history. The basic plot is historically accurate. I doubt anything else is.
But it's oh so over the top it's fun.
Shame about the politics stuff back in Sparta with the wife and the parts where they're aren't fighting, being sarcastic or witty.
But they did combine rather a lot of laconic Spartan sayings into one film. Some from the battle, some not from this particular one.

Oh, got to go, final battle coming up.
Bet they must've been cold in those loincloths though.

EDIT:
Minor grumble - they still use the singular god. Always. Not a single, 'may the gods go with you' or 'by the gods'. In fact, the only time I remember hearing gods used was to refer to the 'old gods' and Xerxes himself god of gods and king of kings.
And he's clearly shown as bonkers and binkers. And 'pagan'.

DOUBLE EDIT:
Fast forwarding through the political scenes with sound playing three times faster than normal makes it more fun. I recommend it.

[Haruki-kun]

I've never seen the film itself. Never liked those with a lot of Graphic Violence, but I suppose I should see it sometime. Can't be much more graphic than Kill Bill, anyway.

....can it?

[UncleWolf]

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I was really disappointed in that movie. That may be because I'm a history buff though. One thing that really irked me though was the fact that each Spartan warrior had 2 slaves that were trained to fight and die for them. Also, the movie fails to mention the fact that the Spartans had about 5000 fighters from various allied provinces to help them. They got the Immortals completely wrong. And the last stand wasn't just the Spartans fighting, there were about 1000 troops that decided to stay behind with them.

There was one funny part in the movie though(to me and my fellow history buffs anyways). King Leonidas was actually being hypocritical when he called the Greeks "boy-lovers".

Sorry for the movie rant. Its just that they had gotten so much wrong(either accidentally or on purpose, I don't know), that I consider the movie a waste of money. I think that if you're going to make a movie based off of history, you need to do it right.

And just about nothing can be as graphic as Kill Bill.

[Jack Squat]

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I was really disappointed in that movie. That may be because I'm a history buff though. One thing that really irked me though was the fact that each Spartan warrior had 2 slaves that were trained to fight and die for them. Also, the movie fails to mention the fact that the Spartans had about 5000 fighters from various allied provinces to help them. They got the Immortals completely wrong. And the last stand wasn't just the Spartans fighting, there were about 1000 troops that decided to stay behind with them.

There was one funny part in the movie though(to me and my fellow history buffs anyways). King Leonidas was actually being hypocritical when he called the Greeks "boy-lovers".

Sorry for the movie rant. Its just that they had gotten so much wrong(either accidentally or on purpose, I don't know), that I consider the movie a waste of money. I think that if you're going to make a movie based off of history, you need to do it right.

And just about nothing can be as graphic as Kill Bill.

But it wasn't based off of history. It was based off of the Graphic Novel

[UncleWolf]

Huh, please excuse my previous rant. I have never read the comic so, I apologize if I insulted any 300 fans out there.

[CurlyKitGirl]

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I was really disappointed in that movie. That may be because I'm a history buff though. One thing that really irked me though was the fact that each Spartan warrior had 2 slaves that were trained to fight and die for them. Also, the movie fails to mention the fact that the Spartans had about 5000 fighters from various allied provinces to help them. They got the Immortals completely wrong. And the last stand wasn't just the Spartans fighting, there were about 1000 troops that decided to stay behind with them.

There was one funny part in the movie though(to me and my fellow history buffs anyways). King Leonidas was actually being hypocritical when he called the Greeks "boy-lovers".

Sorry for the movie rant. Its just that they had gotten so much wrong(either accidentally or on purpose, I don't know), that I consider the movie a waste of money. I think that if you're going to make a movie based off of history, you need to do it right.

And just about nothing can be as graphic as Kill Bill.

You know what's funny? I had this whole post typed out and was one full stop away from posting when my internet crashed.

As Jack Squat said:
Movie based off a COMIC based off of history.
And as a films primary objective is to entertain, not educate it was worth the money. It's funny, very good battle scenes (even if you can tell the blood's all CGI) and is ever so slightly based off of real events.
Now, if you can interest even one in seven people to research the battle and find out more about it that's a bonus.

As I said, I saw it in Classical Civilisations and we had fun picking out the historical inaccuracies as much as watching the film, plus all the memes.

Also, you have to take into account that the narrator is a soldier who 'survived' the battle (and you saw him narrating events he wasn't there to see so there's a biiiig clue to accuracy right there) and is basically tasked with ensuring that the Spartans don't surrender and fight on and on. 'We will fight them on the beaches' etc.? Think of the film as one giantgantic propaganda film designed to make the entirety of Greece stand up and defeat the invaders.
After all, I sincerely doubt that Historical Xerxes had deformed monsters with blades for lower arms beheading people left, right and centre. This story is designed to make Xerxes a pagan barbarian served by monsters and slaves.
We, Spartan, Atticans, Thebans and the people of the city states of Greece are not like that! We will not bow down to a man like this! He who think himself a god; this is unjust and barbaric.
And the Atticans and Spartans did actually do that the the Persian enemies so good for them.

And yeah, many city states of Ancient Greece (prolly not all, but very little documentation survives for many city - states of roughly Classical Greece) were 'boy lovers'; but the Atticans were most famous for it.

And I'm not even a fan of it. But I can admire how it was made and the fact that you have an unreliable narrator who makes it obvous to you that he is reliable actually makes it quite intelligent if you think about it.
So, not a fan; but can see the good idea behind it.

[Haruki-kun]

I honestly stopped looking for historical accuracy in any of such movies. I haven't seen many, but I heard Apocalypto had Maya people still alive when the Spanish came, which was completely wrong.

And Troy had a lot of problems too, but I honestly can't remember them right now. When I dislike a movie as I disliked Troy, I just tend to forget.

[CurlyKitGirl]

I honestly stopped looking for historical accuracy in any of such movies. I haven't seen many, but I heard Apocalypto had Maya people still alive when the Spanish came, which was completely wrong.

And Troy had a lot of problems too, but I honestly can't remember them right now. When I dislike a movie as I disliked Troy, I just tend to forget.

Aaaah, Troy.
Our Classics lecturer actually banned us (about once every lesson once we started the Iliad) from watching that film as it was so Not Based On The Poem that it would warp us and our understanding of the story to watch it.
It. Had. No. Gods.
The gods were instrumental in many parts of the poem.
We could bait him into ranting about the godsawfulness of that film in every aspect from plot, to characters, to acting, to not being anything like it in its basic plot except by accident.
The Iliad is about the anger of Achilles, not some battle or woman.
I was forced to watch a five minute clip of Troy for E Lit when we were studying On Sitting Down To Read Chapman's Homer (Note: title may be slightly incorrect) and me (plus the other two people who took Classics and were in that class) were cringing. It was the Hektor/Achilles fight scene.
And Hektor didn't run three times around the city walls; Hecktors' wife was watching the fight when she should have been at her weaing as he told her to be and no gods were helping them!
IT HURT TO WATCH!
*abstains from further ranting about a film she's seen only five minutes of*

One last thing about 300 - you have to admire all the laconic Spartan sayings if nothing else.

[UncleWolf]

Yeah, Troy was almost as bad as Alexander.
Here is the entire movie:

whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
fight scene
whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
end

And yes, the sayings were cool, but the French Foreign Legion has better. Some battles that they were involved in were like the one in 300 but real!
Here is just one example: Battle of Cameron. (Warning:Explicit Language)

[Thufir]

Our GCSE english teacher recommended Troy to anyone wanting to see Brad Pitt in sweaty fight scenes and I'm guessing less than now-typical amounts of clothes. Anyone actually interested in the history she said should avoid it completely.

[Dragonrider]

I started watching Troy once. After seeing 10 minutes of Orlando Bloom as a Paris who was supposed to be a sympathetic character (I'm sorry, but the guy's a loser! Why am I supposed to feel sorry for him??) I gave up.

Plus, I'm told, at the end he doesn't even die. He escapes with the women and children. First off all, he should have died, and second, what?? No Greeks throwing babies off the walls? What kind of lame Troy is this?

[ghost_warlock]

And what's a Clone doing showing his individuality? Hmmm?
*summons the Clone Force*
Take him away.

*appears in response to the summoning*

Summon Clone Force has a very long casting time. *nod nod nod*

Ghost Warlock : I feel left out? No lurve for me?

*hands dallas the g/b-belt*

[dish]

300 is a film based on a comic which was in turn was based on a film which might have been based on history.

And there are only two reasons to watch Troy. One is a pure delight in Brad Pitt's physique, and the other is the wonderful snarky summary provided by Cleolinda Jones in Troy in Fifteen Minutes.

[Rawhide]

D-D: Stop stealing my apples.

[Dallas-Dakota]

And, a few influences of Dutch Culture on the USA.

The following words (Small selection, spoilered for length):

[spoiler]
Cookie

Yep, even then I influenced the USA.

Edit : Rawhide, but they be delicious....

[bosssmiley]

Aaaah, Troy.
Our Classics lecturer actually banned us (about once every lesson once we started the Iliad) from watching that film as it was so Not Based On The Poem that it would warp us and our understanding of the story to watch it.

The Iliad is about the anger of Achilles, not some battle or woman.

Again with the "300" love, but the "Troy" whining. I cannot get my head around the doublethink of this position. How can you people not love a film where the fat dad from "28 Days Later" gets to curbstomp Orlando Bloom (finally!), but get off on that manchild Frank Miller's ADHD take on Thermoplyae?

The original "Iliad" would have made a terrible film: we'd jump in media res for two hours of Achilles being a whiny emo and random scenes of some dude killing sheep. As for the gods as active presence, I thing neon Olivier Zeus in "Clash of the Titans" killed that cinematic trope back in the '80s. Then Kevin Sorbo's "Hercules" buried it deep.

-----

ION: no ION for you.

PS: "300 Spartans" > "300".

[Oregano]

300 Spartans pwns 300, much better film.


And 300 is a terrible film, horrible and that's without the historical inaccuracies. Troy was much better; the directing was better, the acting was better and there was actual substance in it. The political bits of 300 were the best Curly, how can you skip them?

It's practically torture porn. Terrible film.

EDIT: Brendan Gleeson(the "fat dad from 28 Days Later") is a fantastic actor.

[KnightDisciple]

D-D: Stop stealing my apples.

....I suddenly miss my childhood. Cookies!

[Haruki-kun]

D-D: Stop stealing my apples.

I freakin' love that video. The Count is the best Sesame Street character ever.

Plus he really loves to count...

[Dragonrider]

D-D: Stop stealing my apples.

GAH! I just clicked the link and I had my volume turned up ALL THE WAY from watching a movie last night, so the opening sound came BLASTING out and I jumped about a foot in the air.

[Lady Tialait]

STREAKING IN THE PLAYGROUND! *runs through the thread nude*


The options expressed in this post are in no way a representation of Tialait's views or options

[Dallas-Dakota]

I freakin' love that video. The Count is the best Sesame Street character ever.

Plus he really loves to count...

I suddenly feel sad....

[CurlyKitGirl]

Again with the "300" love, but the "Troy" whining. I cannot get my head around the doublethink of this position. How can you people not love a film where the fat dad from "28 Days Later" gets to curbstomp Orlando Bloom (finally!), but get off on that manchild Frank Miller's ADHD take on Thermoplyae?

The original "Iliad" would have made a terrible film: we'd jump in media res for two hours of Achilles being a whiny emo and random scenes of some dude killing sheep. As for the gods as active presence, I thing neon Olivier Zeus in "Clash of the Titans" killed that cinematic trope back in the '80s. Then Kevin Sorbo's "Hercules" buried it deep.

-----

ION: no ION for you.

PS: "300 Spartans" > "300".

Please see the following quote:

And I'm not even a fan of it. But I can admire how it was made and the fact that you have an unreliable narrator who makes it obvous to you that he is reliable actually makes it quite intelligent if you think about it.
So, not a fan; but can see the good idea behind it.

I wouldn't watch it again; it was merely a whim. Whims allow you to watch bad films. But I have never and will never see all of Troy.
And the gods were active in that a lot of the action was influenced by them, or they cheacted by picking their favourite man and amde sure they won.
Except poor Zeus.
Why was he the only god not allowed to interfere?

You all know how much I love reading. I read, therefore I am. And you all also know that I love my charity shops, and I've always bought mosy of my books from there - cheapskate combined with interesting titles make for a happy Koorly. So every Saturday I go into town and do my charity shop route:
St. Julia's (even though it's not that ny more), Cancer Research, Barnados, Oxfam, Scope, BHF and in between go Smiths and Local Bookshop of Excellence.
Out of these Scope and Oxfam are the most successful with Scope and Julia being the cheapest.
The one shop I loathe out of all my regular bookshops is BHF. One book costs £2.50 (paperback); Scope can cost 50p, 95p or £1.25 (paperbacks) and the rest in the middle.
And today I was in BHF browsing half heartedly for books when I come across a title I hadn't read by an author I like. Cost: £2.50. Wanting to see if it's good I started reading, as you do, so you know it's not a waste of money. I was only there for half an hour reading and then had a snotty, snooty volunteer say "This isn't a library you know; if you want to read a book buy it." in the most uptight voice you can imagine. She was like the Miko of charity shops! And it was all I could do not to snap at her with a few retorts that sprung to mind.
"I can tell the difference beween a library and a shop."
"[something mildly inappropriate elaborating on 'treasure type 'O']"
And a few other pithy phrases I'll refrain from saying.
And actually if it wasn't coming on for three I'd have stayed and continued reading just to annoy her.
So I went to SMiths and finished reading the book there.
Annoyingly officious lady.

[Castaras]

Lemon Demon Count = Awesome.

[Thufir]

We don't generally read much of books in bookshops, because there's nowhere to sit down.
Buying books in charity shops seems to be a good idea. We should consider it.

[Haruki-kun]

I rarely read books in bookshops, either, unless it's one of the ones with an annexed coffee house. Book + Coffee + Wireless = Win.

[CurlyKitGirl]

It is painful on the feet; as you can only lean against the shelving, but you do save a lot of money.
On a good Saturday I read one book in the shop.

[Vagnarok]

Omg, Troy was one of the funniest films (for all the wrong reasons) that I'd seen in years!

"Now watch, we will roll these large flaming spheres down upon the enemy camp. When the sphere touches anything the thing touched bursts into flame immediately. If the touched item is a hut, it explodes due to the gallons of gasoline that the invaders brought with them.

Again, funniest scene in years.

Also, the CGI was pretty dang horrible.

[Haruki-kun]

It is painful on the feet; as you can only lean against the shelving, but you do save a lot of money.
On a good Saturday I read one book in the shop.

Obligatory xkcd comic.

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