My Little Pony XVIII: Perfect Isn't Easy

[Grif]

It's had an out of order sign on it for days: Didn't stop people from using it. >c

Okay...

Guess the truck works as well.

[erikun]

It's had an out of order sign on it for days: Didn't stop people from using it. >c

Does he have some way of turning it off, as a station worker?

If not, try to get in touch with his boss and let them know that the pump is giving away free gas. If you can't do that, then just leave a note and try not to worry about it beyond today. I mean, taking responsibility is good and all, but if your boss doesn't want SiuiS capable of doing anything then he can't really be blamed if people continue to steal gas.

[EsperDerek]

My next suggestion would involve an industrial strength chainsaw.

[Grif]

My next suggestion would involve an industrial strength chainsaw.

I was actually going to suggest chaining the pump to the handle... but okay, I can see opportunities in your line of thinking.

Keeping this pony-related:
Naked!Luna

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[Brazen Shield]

Jerry-rigged a bikelock around the handle of the pump so you can't get it off the stand. That should work for now.


Also PONIES!

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[EsperDerek]

I was actually going to suggest chaining the pump to the handle... but okay, I can see opportunities in your line of thinking.

Keeping this pony-related:
Naked!Luna

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There are few problems in life that cannot be solved with a liberal application of chainsaw.

Here's my problem solving process:
IF Problem Exists
THEN Pony
IF Problem Still Exists
THEN Media Skills
IF Problem *STILL* Exists
THEN Chainsaw

[erikun]

Naked!Luna

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Such indecency! Something like that should be sensored.

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Much better.

[MCerberus]

I declare the next 5 pages dedicated to Pony Demotivators! *wields jeweled scepter of meme*

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[tonberrian]

So now is not a good time for puns? Err, a less bad time, at least?

[MCerberus]

So now is not a good time for puns? Err, a less bad time, at least?

I woodn't start talking about a certain apple tree.

[tonberrian]

I woodn't start talking about a certain apple tree.

If a Fluttertree fell in a forest with nopony to here her, wood she make a sound?

[erikun]

If a Fluttertree fell in a forest with nopony to here her, wood she make a sound?

She would apologize to the flowers she landed on, obviously.

[MBI]

Hi guys! I recently joined the herd! Have a video!

[InkwellPony]

... -(Peaks in from a side conversation with Midnight)-

Wait a pony pickin' second, people actually direct stuff to me in here?

I'm sorry if anypony thought I was ignoring them, I'm just so busy I have a hard time keeping up with boards like this - especially when there's 10 pages of board from the last time I was on...

You all are awesome, and any percieved ignorings were definitely not actual ignorings, but mostly me just staring off into space while working on tons of stuff.

So, loves to everypony, I'll be back once I'm done playing a days worth of catch up!

[darthbobcat]

Hi guys! I recently joined the herd! Have a video!

Time for the traditional greeting.

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[tonberrian]

Time for the traditional greeting.

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What would you do if I asked you to swap out your Original Recipe for some Extra Crispy?

[AlterForm]

What would you do if I asked you to swap out your Original Recipe for some Extra Crispy?

Considering it's Scootachicken you're talking about? I dunno, salivate, maybe?

[darthbobcat]

What would you do if I asked you to swap out your Original Recipe for some Extra Crispy?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGaIQ1QIBA0 Force you to watch this.

Followed by this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWR_297jJmg

And lastly. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt4Zv...el_video_title Because grass grows, birds fly, and brother, SHE HURTS PEOPLE WHO CALL HER A CHICKEN.

[MCerberus]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGaIQ1QIBA0 Force you to watch this.

Followed by this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWR_297jJmg

And lastly. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt4Zv...el_video_title Because grass grows, birds fly, and brother, SHE HURTS PEOPLE WHO CALL HER A CHICKEN.

We can use the first one as a vector to distill and WEAPONIZE the mysterious forces that cause ponysanity. SCIENTASTIC!

Also: as per CDC orders

[Kris Strife]

The only problem is that I can't decide whether that would stop people from trying to eat ponies, or encourage it.

First gummy ponies with delicious pepperminty skulls. Now gummy ponies made out of radioactive mutating slime? I-I'm starting to feel a little scared...

For some reason, this made me feel that ponies should have Ecto Cooler for blood.

Mmaybe the mayor doesn't want to be the mayor, just nopony else wants the job? She got years ago suckered in to the job "temporary", but then nopony ever run a campaign against her and she has to keep the job. Like that president from my football fanclub whose yearly candidacy speech is "stop voting for me you bunch of {explicit}!". In a peaceful place like Ponyville with no (probably) parties or power mad career politicians where everpony is happy anyway it seems possible.

I am now picturing a mayoral debate where Twilight and the Mayor are launching mud slinging attacks... AT THEMSELVES. In a desperate bid to make the other one look good.

I'm a terrible mayor! Under my stewardship, I've run Ponyville right into the ground!

Oh? And how do you reply to allegations of misconduct and corruption under my administration? Ponyville deserves a mayor they can trust: Twilight Sparkle!

Best Campaign Ever.

We need to have a running count of 'best filly'

We already have one Sweetie, one Scoot, and one Twilight.

Filly Luna.

Allow me to check my Surprise-O-Meter, which measures my level of surprise in an arbitrary percentage format:

0%

Pot calling kettle?

Oh fine. But don't blame me when I give in to my peppermint addiction and begin looking for ways to get at those crunchy candylicious brainpans...it's gonnna be ugly...

You could just keep licking Unicorn horns?

You know, sometimes I think you're trying to compensate for something with all your babbling about starships.

Something about soft tissue and undead.

[darthbobcat]

So, interesting question (which I'd love to see explored in Season 2): Who raised Spike?

I see two solutions. 1) Twilight Sparkle raised him in between magic lessons; this made her busy enough to be cut off socially. 2) Twilight's mom and dad raised Spike, and he became the scaly son they never had.

I like 1 for the cuteness of filly Twilight trying to juggle schoolwork and caring for a baby dragon (what? I like Filly Twilight. I just rank Scootaloo above her on the cute scale), and 2 for the following scene.

Scene: Twilight's going off to college level classes.

Twilight: Bye Mom! Bye Dad!

Mr. Sparkle: We're proud of you, Twilight.

Mrs. Sparkle: Spike, you be sure to take good care of Twilight, you hear?

Twilight: Yes, Mo-... wait what?

Spike: You bet, Mom!

[EsperDerek]

So, interesting question (which I'd love to see explored in Season 2): Who raised Spike?

I see two solutions. 1) Twilight Sparkle raised him in between magic lessons; this made her busy enough to be cut off socially. 2) Twilight's mom and dad raised Spike, and he became the scaly son they never had.

I like 1 for the cuteness of filly Twilight trying to juggle schoolwork and caring for a baby dragon (what? I like Filly Twilight. I just rank Scootaloo above her on the cute scale), and 2 for the following scene.

I think it was probably a combination of the two. Twilight did most of the "child raising", because, darn it, she's a big girl, a responsible unicorn, and she'll take care of Spike, no matter how much trouble it is! Spike was a special gift from Princess Celestia (well, okay, the school, but still), and she won't let the princess down!

Meanwhile, the parents quietly help out where they can, fix all the messes that Twilight can't handle, and generally gently 'guide' her and help raise Spike without being too obvious about it.

[erikun]

I am more under the impression that the Celestian Royal Court took care of the basics of dragon rearing (what to feed him, how to care for him) while Twilight came over during her free time for social reasons and to bond with Spike. I don't see why Twilight's parents would necessarily be any good at raising a dragon, and with Twilight attending school at Canterlot, she'd probably want to remain close to Spike as he was growing up.

Then again, Twilight's parents probably live in Canterlot anyways. Hmm. I'd still think that Celestia would appoint an official "nanny" to ensure a baby dragon had whatever care he needed, though.

[darthbobcat]

I am more under the impression that the Celestian Royal Court took care of the basics of dragon rearing (what to feed him, how to care for him) while Twilight came over during her free time for social reasons and to bond with Spike. I don't see why Twilight's parents would necessarily be any good at raising a dragon, and with Twilight attending school at Canterlot, she'd probably want to remain close to Spike as he was growing up.

Then again, Twilight's parents probably live in Canterlot anyways. Hmm. I'd still think that Celestia would appoint an official "nanny" to ensure a baby dragon had whatever care he needed, though.

Pony with professional looking glasses and a clipboard knocks on the door of the Sparkle residence.

"Dragon Protective Services! It's time for your monthly checkup!"

[Rebelhero]

Hey! HEY! i want to join the TF2 Ponythread people!
Add me please! And id also like to find this pony sever.... Im Rebelhero423 i wish my mic was still working =[

[dromer]

There are few problems in life that cannot be solved with a liberal application of pony.

Here's my problem solving process:
IF Problem Exists
THEN Pony
IF Problem Still Exists
THEN Pony
IF Problem *STILL* Exists
THEN Pony

Fix'd
In the immortal words of Jakviah, I like ponies.

Hey! HEY! i want to join the TF2 Ponythread people!
Add me please! And id also like to find this pony sever.... Im Rebelhero423 i wish my mic was still working =[

Legion of Ponies Server:
1: 216.52.148.197:27015
2: 216.52.148.197:27021

All the cool people hang out on Chocolate Hammer, though, our local gaming server.

[the_druid_droid]

You could just keep licking Unicorn horns?

[farnesworth] Oh my~! [/farnesworth]

I'm pretty sure skull crushing and horn...er...contact are rather different balls of wax...

[Rebelhero]

Fix'd
In the immortal words of Jakviah, I like ponies.




Legion of Ponies Server:
1: 216.52.148.197:27015
2: 216.52.148.197:27021

All the cool people hang out on Chocolate Hammer, though, our local gaming server.

Thank you! once again dromer your avatar is perfectly fitting.
Now i should ask for an understanding of how servers work...ive only played a handful of games on TF2

[Kindablue]

d) I declare ... And Apple Accessories non-canon for purposes of It's Always Sunny trilogy and I give Scoots an adoptive mom, but no father figure to avoid major conflict.

Cutie Mark Crusader Time Travelers can fix this!

Complications are convolutions. In 9 out of 10 instances, a series of stories that requires a chart to keep straight is a bad thing.

Oh, uh, never mind then.

[SiuiS]

Not sure what you mean by smaller format. I certainly can't imagine file size being an issue, and any details you add help me to infer what's important in the visual space.

Well, the first example I posted way back when, that you said you could work with, was done on like, a 3x5 notebook. But if I'm doing a full sized one, it would be 8.5x11, and I'd probably lose a lot of detail anyway, being zoomed out far enough to fit the whole thing in frame.
This is understandably mitigated should I get a scanner, but I'm debating the pros and cons of one size of phayical media versus another. I keep forgetting that with you digital artists, you guys can just resize or whatnot at a whim.

^This is equally applicable to artists. I would like to draw all day every day, except that I haaaate my work.

edit: ahhh ninja'd! let me get the right quotes in place... okay there we go.

Yeah. I think my worst turnaround was approximately one sleep cycle. I went to bed all "yeah, alright, awesome!", woke up, looked at it, "Mein Gott! I've been showing other people this travesty?!" *sepuku'd*

Thanks. I'm not the best at expressions, so it's always nice when I manage to pull it off :)

oh, hey! I totally didn't make that connection. I noticed the URL name was familiar, but I didn't associate it with the Midnight Spindle picture at all. My bad.

You're rather good.

Sounds like a typical day to me too ><

Aye, I've got an almost identical system; bed by 04:00, up at 13:00. I'd probably be on exact same cycle, if I didn't need to catch a bus very now and again.

Yes XD yes it is. Reminds me of a picture of Axel (Kingdom Hearts 2) and Tifa (Final Fantasy VII) in a shower I saw once.

why would you even bring that up?
(and why did Lix laughy face at it?)

Oh no~ You misunderstand: start anything invloving SiuiS and I come along in the package. And no pony had better forget it.

*facehoof* this will have... Repercussions.

AND WHY IS SHE CRYING!?

*shrug* probably intense pain and abject terror as her flesh warps into a permanent smile :D

The first one tells me that Bon Bon is very much into reading magazines, and not so much into fashion. *She just heard about a famous model in town and was chasing her around town. *She didn't recognize Rarity because she'd probably never been in her store before.

As for the second, she's likely annoyed at being accused of stealing and told to pay for it. *Understandable, at that. *Applejack didn't quite get the right hint, though...

Yeah, this. She's supposed to come off as dumb, not mean. Rarity was actually acting arrogant, assuming somepony just knew who she was.

Of course, Ponyville seems like a small enough village, so that's kind o shot. We know it's because that is what was called for in the gag, but we don't know that I was just a gag.

Or we could go with the triplets idea. *That would explain her two different voice actors. *But what would their names be? *Bon Bon, Bun Bun, and Bin Bin?

We are going with triplets because it would make a great movie.
Bon-Bon, Truffles and Turkish Delight.

However true that may be, they're not making it up. Wowie zowie indeed.

Yeah, I know. I have... Memories. I just don't let them surface. Tentacles always struck me as exceedingly tacky, so I avoid them on multiple principles.

Hey, you need something to cancel out the joy from the pony thread, don't you? Or do you want to end up happy?*

you know, I still can't tell what the exact mix of silly versus world-crushing despair is in your posts. Makes them awfully interesting to read.

It's kinda nice. It shows you where to put your sadness: in the inside, surrounded by an shell of happiness that no one can *look through.

fitting imagery. So ponies are mindslaves?*

...yeah, my thought to that was somewhere between 'Awesome' and 'kinky' so uh. I'm a horrible pony?

See, my question is, how do you get kinky, out of-

Oh.
OH.

Ok, got it. Ok.

Hee. I have an excuse, I have to keep up with you mad american ponies.

Which I find hilarious. Because, see, I operate on the same schedule, but different timezone, so we still end up missing each other. And my calculations say you'll be going to sleep in 2-3 hours from now, versus my... Oh, wait.

Hm. Tomorrow is Wednesday, I need to get to bed early so I can POST! or at least so I can tell everypony the mods said don't do it, whichever comes up.

...so... if I flirt with SiuiS, I get Braz too. And if I flirt with Braz, Siuis follows her meekly?
This is seeming win-win for Lixie.

See? I told you you phrased that like we were a two-for-one deal.*

So... are you a biophiliac, honey? I'll be your Rarity if I'll be your Spike.

Wait, you'll be Rarity, and Spike?
I vote you say yes, Commodore. I for one would like to see how that works, out of simple scientific curiosity.

My guess is she splits in two, polymorphs, and then makes you wish you had eyes to gouge out ;D

So I can chancel my plans of eloping with SiuiS to Mongolia and start an moustache growing club?

I'm sorry, Welf. Our love can never be.

Ah, the Party Party. I like their platform compulsory serving of asparagus at breakfast, free corsets for the under-fives, and the abolition of slavery. (Don't worry, the last one was just put in for a joke)

Hm. So if I vote for you, I can keep my slaves?

Do it, I know you want it. Don't restrain yourself.*

just think of the possibilities: Soarin will be around at the Sweet Acres, so he will meet her regularly when she plays with Applebloom. And unless Rainbow Dash starts acknowledging her existence she needs someone to help her with learning how to fly. Think about her growing relationship when he fills a gap in her live. The trouble when he and Applejack find out the truth. When Applejack thinks she's not so special to him, that there's a daughter he must care about. The rebuilding of the relationship. You want that.*

just look at this image with the above mindset:*

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I will admit, that comic is the first thing I thought of when you started this.

Please. *Please someone talk me out of this. *I love this idea so much for all the wrong reasons. *It can be revealed during him and Applejack's wedding toast. *

Apple Bloom: You mind yer auntie now.

Scootaloo (sobs)

The best part is, SOARIN OPENLY TOLD APPLEJACK THAT HE'D BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK A FEW TIMES. *Sure, him having a bastard daughter (sorry, I love using the word in its actual, technical meaning) wasn't expected. *At all.

The only problem is, what to do with Ollie Jump. *The whole "in my fanon adoptive father" thing complicates things a bit.

I always thought myself that, for reasons I won't doings until the appropriate quote, that Steve the griffon was actually Scootaloo's father; it's where she gets her chicken-ness. The bird genes, they are recessive.

Applejack: So... Scootaloo...

Scootaloo: THIS DOESN'T MAKE YOU MY MOM.

Applejack: Phew, that's a load off of mah mind.

I feel so bad for laughing at this.*

A plan is what this sounds like. I shall see you on the fields of justice. By which I mean the PM box. Let's keep each other from slacking off.

I am taking this as implied permission to politely annoy you myself.

We shall see if I have the requisite memory to do so.

... Oh man this is reaching bad soap opera levels of convoluted. *

So there are a few scenarios here. *

Common element: Soarin sleeps with an older mare. *Scootaloo results, though he has no idea. *

a) Scootaloo's mom convinces her husband, Ollie, that Scootaloo is his. *

b) Scootaloo's mom gives her up for adoption to hide her secret shame. *Scootaloo is adopted by Ollie and her unnamed adoptive mother. *

c) Scootaloo's mom fails to convince her husband, Ollie, that Scootaloo is his. *

In all three scenarios, I have the mare that Scootaloo would think of as "Mom" run off with a griffon named Steve.

Or there's option*

d) I declare ... And Apple Accessories non-canon for purposes of It's Always Sunny trilogy and I give Scoots an adoptive mom, but no father figure to avoid major conflict.

See, I have Scootamum going off with Steve, and leaving her daughter with Ollie, because she is an equestrian secret agent and needs to go into deep cover.

The reason is because the SCOOTALOO'S ADOPTED AND NOPONY LOVES HER reaction pic was going to be a trench-coated, fedora wearing griffon talking to a crying Scootaloo, telling her her mom loves her. After Scootaloo leaves the creepy bird guy, he walks back to his partner.

"did you tell her?"
"I did"
"how did she take it?"
She thinks I'm crazy and was going to eat her."
"... Well, at least she knows I still love her."
Ollie: "I thought you weren't going to ever show up again, Miranda.

"Ollie! I... Well, you know... " *smokebomb*
Ollie: *coughs* Dammit, Miranda!
Scoot: "dad? What're you doing here?"
"uh, Borglum, scoots. Let's go home."

Mmm...hello Mr. Cloud-Pony. What does your skull taste like?!

Peppermint, silly. We've been over this.*

Guess we know what to get you for your birthday then...

I think Lix Lorn is the last pony on the 'desperately needs birthday wish fulfilled to get laid' list, myself.

Aaaand we've found a new way to terrify the undead master of necromantic horrors. Bravo, ponythread. Bravo.

We've known our squishy biological urges repulsed him for a while now. Luckily, having a flame-eyed skull staring unblinkingly at someone during coitus is also repulsive to most living things, so he's never been called on it XD

Skull-ba-dull Skull Skull-ba-dull
Call upon the skull ponies*
When you want some fresh distress
Call upon the skull ponies
If you see us call out SOS.

When it's in the dead of night
You'd better lock your door
Because the freaking skull ponies*
Will mess your stuff up, it's a WAR!

Skull-ba-dull, Skull Skull-ba-dull!

... now seems like as good a time as any to say that, during the whole Airship thing, I brought about nightmarish, twisted skeletons only so after I collected the detritus, I could build the commodore a skeletal pony body to use.

:O
And then Lix was a griffon.
...well, this sucks.

Cool!

Name three and provide pictures. *And no, I don't accept Gilda as an example.

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You don't like me, professor?
that's ok, I understand. Nopony likes me.

.... Ó.Ò I'm confused. I can't grow one and he ready HAS one...*

SiuiS, have you been showing ponies pictures of you in highschool again? Making them believe you don't have a full beard and moustache-- shame on you!!

... You know, considering all the times you tell me not to give out personal information, you sure give out a lot of my personal information.
If this weren't pony thread, I might be irked

In a majestic, bird of prey, can kill you without breaking a sweat, kind of way.

... Hot.

SiuiS!*

I'm a callin' you out!

Actually, I'm calling in that piece of artwork you owe me.

Filly Shimmer Snowflake. Ball of yarn. Cuteness.

Two-part comic with Shimmer tentatively poking the yarn ball before the inevitable would be really swell.

On it.

*twitch*
*twitch*
*twitch*
Nonono don'tthinkaboutit don'tthinkaboutit notphysicallypossiblenotphysicallypossible starshipsstarshipsstarships
...
...
I'm good. Phew that was a relief, I nearly
Bwxfgeht! Phwwekeg figglewibbly plunge! Sneekoogle thuge margle!
*catatonic*

Wow, you broke his mind. Immune to mind affecting my flank.

You know, sometimes I think you're trying to compensate for something with all your babbling about starships.

Aye. He's not a pony, so he needs to be extra awesome to compensate.

Or he could wait until I build him a pony body

C'mon, it's drama, and it's cute, what do you want more? And all the cool writers do it.*

And just imagine that scene: Soarin tells the other CMC his cutie mark story and suddenly Scootaloo has the Semper Fidelis cutie mark. And everypony is like 'wait what'?

Alright, yeah. I'm sold. HEY BOBCAT. DO THIS.

I'm going to fourth this because I wanna see filly Shimmer.

Psh. You would~

Alright, who am I to deny my friends? And you don't owe me anything, Phoe.
Y'all know why?

*whimper*

Uh, sir we just detected some unusual energy emissions of an unknown type coming from this location, and your communications link is still active, and the War Droids just shut down. Is there a prob-woah. Sorry, sir! Um...I'll just...er...

Don't just stand there, you idiot! Get her off me! Dooo something!!!!

Um, sorry sir, but the whole "don't mess with goddess unless you really have too" regs...

Get back here, Spleenripper! Right now, don't you dare walk away from-

Dammit!

Maybe if I close my eyeglows and concentrate really hard I can enter meditation and the scary goddess lady won't be there when I wake up! Now if I can juuust concentrate I'll

*thunk*

Wait, you have standard regulations about what to do when presented with a random goddess?
I need your rulebook, commodore. It would be an amazing read.

Also, I probably shouldn't be here for watching this.

Off topic:

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SiuiS works at a gas station. I'm hanging out cuz I have the day off.*
Someone came in and told us that pump #3 gave them A full tank for $.98.*
That's right. A FULL TANK OF GAS FOR 98 cents.*

We parked my truck in front of it.

So far two people have complained my truck is "camping" out on 3. I wonder how many people know about the pump and HAVEN'T said anything and have told their friends.

No. This is not cool. You are not allowed to rob me of stories by typing them up while I'm busy going through them.

Mean

Can you maybe put an 'Out of Order' sign on it instead, or is that out of the realm of possibility for some reason?

Nah, I've had folks park their car, move the traffic cone, remove the sign taped over the button console, move their car up, and then come inside to complain that the gas pump didn't work.

I wish I were making this up.*

Maybe they were driving an electric?

And ouch. *I understand that actual gas sells at nearly no profit for the station; basically giving it away for free would be far worse. *I also recommend the Out-of-Order sign, but leave the truck there. *Otherwise, people would just drive up to it and continue using it anyways.

Kinda what they did. I was stuck inside because I'm the only bloke here and can't leave the store while anyone is inside (have to lock up to go out)

*facehooves* Of course, how silly of me, I had hopes that people wouldn't be quite that stupid.

I'm sorry. But remember, this is low-end retail; these aren't people.

My next suggestion would involve an industrial strength chainsaw.

... Where would one get a chainsaw of industrial strength? For... Academic reasons.*

There are few problems in life that cannot be solved with a liberal application of chainsaw.

Here's my problem solving process:
IF Problem Exists
THEN Pony
IF Problem Still Exists
THEN Media Skills
IF Problem *STILL* Exists
THEN Chainsaw

That's remarkably similar to my process, except 'market skills' is broken down into 'heartfelt sweet talk' and 'thinly veiled intimidation'.

Such indecency! *Something like that should be sensored.

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Much better.

Oh wow. I don't even.

... -(Peaks in from a side conversation with Midnight)-

Wait a pony pickin' second, people actually direct stuff to me in here?

I'm sorry if anypony thought I was ignoring them, I'm just so busy I have a hard time keeping up with boards like this - especially when there's 10 pages of board from the last time I was on...

Phoe, you are awesome, and any percieved ignorings were definitely not actual ignorings, but mostly me just staring off into space while working on tons of stuff.

So, loves to everypony, I'll be back once I'm done playing a days worth of catch up!

Yeah, we miss you ya dummy! I'll try and compile all pertinent discussions and send em to you whenever someone addresses you.