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2017-09-09, 09:32 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2008
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
Well, things are still healing but; especially the first few days after surgery and still the first couple of weeks (barely get it now), it mentally felt like I still had my old bits; like, I'd have pangs of pain or such and it'd feel as if the analogous part on my previous bits was hurting. Not really phantom pain cause there was actual pain involved, but my body had to reimagine things essentially. It's quite common apparently.
That's slowly been fading away though and barely happens now still. It just, it still feels tender and such, but I guess the best way to put is that like, I'm not freaked out by it? Like, you'd expect a major change in body to like, have a big mental impact, but it surprises me how normal I find it already?
My old bits often felt a bit like, something that just got in the way a lot and being aware of them was often this annoying pang in the back of my head, and now that doesn't happen anymore really. Sorry I can't go into more detail I just, I'm still processing it myself a bit.
Mew. Is there someone you can talk to or reach out to? Please don't do anything rash. :c
Okie, thank you for sharing! Hope you get good news at the check up.Last edited by Astrella; 2017-09-09 at 09:32 PM.
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2017-09-09, 09:35 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2005
- Gender
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2017-09-09, 11:42 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2014
- Location
- Russia
- Gender
Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
Just read a cute webcomic about a gay hockey player (ex figure skater):
http://www.checkpleasecomic.com/
ArlEammon, hold on.Last edited by Sobol; 2017-09-09 at 11:53 PM.
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2017-09-10, 12:22 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2005
- Gender
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2017-09-10, 10:44 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
- Location
- A Pub Near You
- Gender
Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
All of the hugs
No that is an amazing description, thank you so much for sharing, truly. Obviously you are still processing it a bunch yourself, but I am very happy that you seem to feel as though your body is, Correct?, I guess? If that is the right word for it. Anyway thank you for sharing that with me, and I hope it wasn't too intrusive! Hope your recovery goes well and you get better soon.My Extended Signature, Check it out!
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Amazing Irish Avatar by Savannah
My own 5e Bard Subclass
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LGBTA+ Ally
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2017-09-13, 12:16 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2012
- Location
- Germany
Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
Does anyone have any tips (or encouragement) for asking family to use different pronouns? They're all already using my new name (or at least try to) but because German doesn't really have any neutral pronouns I didn't mind them using my old pronouns. But I've been really dysphoric lately and maybe changing pronouns might help with that. So now I'd like them to try to alternate between male and female pronouns 'cause that's the closest I'm going to get to neutral.
Unrelated to that, I really like how I look in this picture~
SpoilerYou can call me Juniper. Please use gender-neutral pronouns (ze/hir (preferred) or they/them) when referring to me.
"We all are vessels of our brokenness, we carry it inside us like water, careful not to spill. And what is wholeness if not brokenness encompassed in acceptance, the warmth of its power a shield against those who would hurt us?" - R. Lemberg, Geometries of Belonging
Stories Art
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2017-09-13, 12:25 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
- Location
- In the Playground, duh.
Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
German has similar options to English, though unfortunately "Hack the plural into a singular neutral" doesn't work. That said, in German, some people are definitely referred to in the neuter gender (girls, for example, are neuter in German) so there shouldn't be the same problem using "Es" that there is using "It" in English, right? (Inasmuch as there ever was a problem using "It" in English, but let's not have that argument again).
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2017-09-13, 12:39 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
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- A Pub Near You
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
I don't know if it would make it confusing, but could they use sie? My German is really rusty, but is that not fairly neutral? Like using "they"?
As far as asking, just sit them down and explain how it makes you feel. And if they could go back and forth between er and.....oh wait. She is sie, too, isn't it? Oh man, I'm an idiot.
Well, in any case, I'd just explain to them that it would make you feel more comfortable if they'd pop back and forth between the two.
In other news, love the pic, super cute. Love the shoelaces.My Extended Signature, Check it out!
DMing:
Amazing Irish Avatar by Savannah
My own 5e Bard Subclass
Made by the awesome Wartex1!
LGBTA+ Ally
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2017-09-13, 12:46 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2012
- Location
- Germany
Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
"Mädchen" (girl) is technically neuter*, but it isn't actually used that way, and usually people still use female pronouns that's even considered grammatically correct, because "es" can still be considered as dehumanising. (So a sentence like "The girl picks up her book." can be both "Das Mädchen hebt ihr Buch auf." and "Das Mädchen hebt sein Buch auf." and both are considered correct.) Also, some neuter pronouns are the same as the male pronouns anyway, so without context they aren't unmistakably neutral. That said, I wouldn't actually mind people using "es" for me, but that would always require more explaining and I don't want to have to out myself/be outed by family all the time. (That's also the reason why I don't do what other German nonbinary people do who just adopt English pronouns (usually they/them).)
*words ending in -chen are diminutives and always neuter – Mädchen was originally the diminutive of "Magd" (maid).You can call me Juniper. Please use gender-neutral pronouns (ze/hir (preferred) or they/them) when referring to me.
"We all are vessels of our brokenness, we carry it inside us like water, careful not to spill. And what is wholeness if not brokenness encompassed in acceptance, the warmth of its power a shield against those who would hurt us?" - R. Lemberg, Geometries of Belonging
Stories Art
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2017-09-13, 02:33 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
- Location
- Germany
Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
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2017-09-13, 03:50 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
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2017-09-13, 04:51 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Xin-Shalast
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
Is that really tenable, though? Most people aren't going to really set aside the headspace to keep track of how often they used which pronoun and which was used most recently, especially when meetings are separated by hours or days. Even if they care about someone else a lot.
I foresee a lot of slipping up and using the same pronoun multiple times in a row or picking one pronoun and only using it for an entire encounter/conversation/day. Would you be OK with that, or would that make things worse?
Also, if they alternate pronouns for you when talking about you to or around other people, won't that also out you like the other option you're not too keen on relating to Madchen?
Part of it depends upon whether one has to talk about someone else or if there's a gender neutral second person pronoun and if you can have a conversation with someone where you only use second person pronouns for them.
At least, I don't think there's any group that's vehemently opposed to the pronoun "you" in English.
I'm gathering that Deutsch does not have a neuter second person pronoun that can be used organically, though, given the conversation so far.
What? How do you figure? I'd find that the use of "other" would serve to imply that the singer is a guy himself.
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2017-09-13, 05:06 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
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- Germany
Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
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2017-09-13, 06:26 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2005
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
Someone oughta make a new OP for a new thread. Any volunteers?
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2017-09-13, 07:07 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
- Location
- In the Final Frontier
- Gender
Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
If she is up for it, I vote Astrella.
Co-Founder of LUTAS.
For all you lesser superheroes out there.
Custom STO avatar by Durkoala.
A novella about a wizard and a rock star, cross-dimensional travel, and healing wounds neither knew were there.
Spoiler: Online stuffsLentrax has a Deviantart now, check it out!
Streaming Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 11CST on Twitch.
Follow me on Twitter!
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2017-09-14, 03:33 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2012
- Location
- Germany
Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
Yeah, sie is like the worst possible option, considering third person plural, female third person singular and formal second person (both singular and plural) are all sie (or Sie, in the case of formal second person, but you obviously can't hear the capital S).
Also, thanks, I like my shoelaces, too.
Tbh, while that's possible, to me avoiding pronouns seems more difficult, or at least less natural.
Oh, I'd be happy with them just switching it up every so often, not necessarily every single time or during one conversation. Even a ration of like, 30% male and 70% female would be fine. That way, they wouldn't have to out me either, at least not to people they don't talk to regularly or who don't know me personally, just use one set of pronouns when talking to one person, and the other when talking to someone else, and only switch it up more often when talking to people who actually know me. Also, I'm not opposed to being out in general- on the contrary, I'd love to be out everywhere. I just don't want to have to explain myself to strangers because I have better things to do than to give a nonbinary 101 to everyone (and I don't really trust my cis family members to be able to accurately explain my gender to others, so I don't want to have them try to explain it, either.) Does that make sense?
Also, at least me godfather and his wife already do that- not with pronouns (afaik), but with other words relating to me when there isn't a neutral alternative (like alternating between niece and nephew).
And as Iruka said, second person pronouns are neutral, but using them obviously only works when I'm actually there.You can call me Juniper. Please use gender-neutral pronouns (ze/hir (preferred) or they/them) when referring to me.
"We all are vessels of our brokenness, we carry it inside us like water, careful not to spill. And what is wholeness if not brokenness encompassed in acceptance, the warmth of its power a shield against those who would hurt us?" - R. Lemberg, Geometries of Belonging
Stories Art
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2017-09-14, 07:43 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
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2017-09-14, 09:28 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2017
- Gender
Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
Sounds a lot like the multiple meanings of They. Seems like the ambiguity of it might actually be an advantage? (Though people would probably just assume it meant female third person, I guess. Never mind.)
Have you considered asking them to just use "they" when speaking to people who understand English? And whatever's convenient for speaking with people who don't?
My understanding of modern Germany is that most(?) people speak enough English that they may not even balk at the one inserted word. (At least in major cities, according to a friend who lives there while barely speaking any German?)
Maybe you'll start a new trend in pronouns!
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2017-09-14, 10:22 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
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- A Pub Near You
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
My Extended Signature, Check it out!
DMing:
Amazing Irish Avatar by Savannah
My own 5e Bard Subclass
Made by the awesome Wartex1!
LGBTA+ Ally
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2017-09-14, 11:52 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2014
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- Avatar By Astral Seal!
Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
I have a LOT of Homebrew!
Spoiler: Former AvatarsSpoiler: Avatar (Not In Use) By Linkele
Spoiler: Individual Avatar Pics
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2017-09-14, 01:54 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
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Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
Does anyone know of a good title?
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2017-09-14, 02:04 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2015
- Location
- San Francisco Bay area
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2017-09-14, 02:32 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2016
- Location
- Within 2 range increments
Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
Spoiler: things in which I used to be involved before i was claimed by the great pestilence of examsThe One Sane Drow (Vergil: Drow Sorcerer 5, CN)
The Uprise (IC/OOC) (Ker'anson: Drow Arcane Spellcaster 4, NE)
Running Total Of Things I've Critically Hit That Jormengand Didn't Want Me To Critically Hit: 3
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2017-09-14, 02:37 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
- Location
- In the Final Frontier
- Gender
Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
So my wife is sick again, and we needed to call the cable company about our upcoming bill. But with her as the only person able to make changes to our account, she had me do it. So I called, and pretended to be her. After we finished the call, she said to me, "Don't ever pretend to be me again. It freaked me out."
So I guess that means I have a passable voice now.
Co-Founder of LUTAS.
For all you lesser superheroes out there.
Custom STO avatar by Durkoala.
A novella about a wizard and a rock star, cross-dimensional travel, and healing wounds neither knew were there.
Spoiler: Online stuffsLentrax has a Deviantart now, check it out!
Streaming Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 11CST on Twitch.
Follow me on Twitter!
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2017-09-14, 05:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Gender
Re: LGBTAI+ #58 Infinity 2.0: The Darth Arminius Apology Thread
I made a new thread.
It varies still a lit bit cause well, discomfort and I've been having some urinary issues but when no pain, yeah, it's pretty nice. Still a bit odd cause well, something's gone and different, but more in a "huh?" way, than a "oh no" way.