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Thread: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
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2009-09-05, 10:43 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jun 2009
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- Minnesota, ya?
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
We scatter like roaches when the light's turned on.
On a serious-er note, everyone up to this point has (mostly) kept it PG-13 and in spoiler boxes, so I think we're not in trouble for that reason alone. But I'd imagine they've got their eyes on us, in case someone slips. It's like being on candid cam. *waves*
...And that is how I met your father.
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2009-09-05, 11:42 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2009
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2009-09-05, 11:58 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2008
- Location
- Germany
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Well, that one is obvious. They'd have to read it. If they like it, maybe they'll renounce their modhood and joins the Legion, instead.
Well, only one of them was really finished, so it's a hard question...
I really liked the one of Inky and Aandy. :D Though the eyes were a bit too anime-ish (or, more to the point, flesh-coloured O.O) for my taste. But I loved that style.
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2009-09-05, 01:33 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Belkar x Eye of Fear & Flame
Ok, this is tame enough for me to write as my first. Let's see how good I can make it.
Spoiler
The green-clad halfing looked around, making sure there were none of the orange menace in sight. His evil glare gazed lower and met with the ruby-red crystal eyes of the skeleton head staring back at him. Belkar ran one hand through his brunette buzzcut and opened his mouth.
"So...I've got nothing to do now, since there's no hobbos around....wanna make out?"
The Eye of Fear and Flame trembled a bit in the God of War's hand.
"Do I have a choice?"
Ok, that...sucked. But...can someone make a banner for that? I'm gonna try again later and hope for a bit more untame mix to write.Last edited by BatRobin; 2009-09-05 at 01:37 PM.
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2009-09-05, 01:49 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-09-05, 01:50 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
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- Scotland
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.
Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.
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2009-09-05, 01:51 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Can someone give an opinion on my first crack pairing story?
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2009-09-05, 02:29 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2009
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2009-09-05, 02:37 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jun 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Smurf, amazing as usual.
EDIT:I've lurked about the fringes of this thread for far too long... has anyone done Miko x Tsukiko?Last edited by Elfin; 2009-09-05 at 02:39 PM.
Masters of the Sword: A Warblade's Handbook
Walking the Way: A Swordsage's Handbook
Avatar by Miss Nobody. Doll by Recaiden.
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2009-09-05, 02:40 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jun 2009
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- TX, USA
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
My fic isn't going so well. I can't get my creative juices to work, and when I try to read the thread to get going, I forget to write! A grave dilemma do I face indeed.
"It must be humbling to suck on so many levels." -Sheldon Cooper, Big Bang Theory
When life gives you lemons, tell Belkar it called him short and then laugh from a safe distance.
Starving the trolls since 2004
Proud inventor of the I-pod Throwing Star... I think.
Feel free to click the clickies! (By that I mean DO IT NOW!)
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2009-09-05, 02:54 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
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2009-09-05, 03:04 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jun 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
SpoilerThe last weak shafts of sunlight forsook the grey skies above Azure City, clouded with fire and smoke and spun with screams and the dying sounds of battle. Endless ranks of orange-skinned soldiers marched through the burning, desolate ruins of the sprawling city; so hard to imagine that not a day ago this place had thronged with bustling masses and echoed not with cries of pain and despair, but the clamour of business.
And Tsukiko was confused.
"Stupid goblin...I'll show him."
The muttered words fell from her lips, harsh and cruel.
All her life she had lived under the opression of people who did not understand her. They marked her as a freak, a witch, an abomination, just because she had compassion that they did not, just because she could see love where they saw terror. Tsukiko saw that love did not end in death, or even in undeath...and for that she was persecuted, then even imprisoned.
Now, finally, she had found what she'd looked for all her life..at least that was what she'd thought. Tsukiko didn't know what to make of the situation; the lich was so amazing, so handsome, so charming- yet now she saw that underneath that was unimaginable cruelty. How could she ever love someone who found her pain amusing?
"I'll make the mo
[...]
Ah, oh well.
Let me find something that's free...Last edited by Elfin; 2009-09-05 at 03:06 PM.
Masters of the Sword: A Warblade's Handbook
Walking the Way: A Swordsage's Handbook
Avatar by Miss Nobody. Doll by Recaiden.
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2009-09-05, 03:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Good point, I couldn't think of anything but 'he's got no time and assume's it's female' thing...which IS Belkar-ish.
Ok, then, lemme try my luck again with some more dice...
Hilgya and YokYok. With someone is a vampire.
Oh my.
Spoiler
The lone dwarfmaiden wandered the dry, dark, barren hills, looking for any kind of companion to aid her in her journey back to the Dwarven Homelands. She looked left and right endlessly until her neck hurt worse than a life-draining poisoned injury. She spyed something orange in an upcoming forest and dove into a bush, peeking through a small opening to see who indeed this was. The dull-skinned kobold was hacking away at a maple tree with a rapier, moaning for syrup. The rustles of the bush startled Yokyok, and he turned and saw Hilgya's blonde hair sticking through some sticks. He walked over.
"What do we have here? A dwarf-girl?" Yokyok smiled, revealing sharp fangs that glistened in the moonlight. Hilgya stood up and shuffled out of the bushes.
"Umm...I'm Hilgya...dwarf...and you are...?"
"Yokyok, kobold rapier extroidenaire. I'm here, seeking refuge from some insane halfling who killed my father."
"...Was your father, by chance...a kobold named Yikyik? I was friends with him."
"Yes...and I see why he was friends with you, you're...quite dashing."
"Oh, tee hee. You're not too bad yourself...good job with the tree or whatever. Nice teeth too..."
"Oh, you think? Hehe...some sorcerer named Xykon...his mage-ess raised me from the dead and made me a vampire." Hilgya's smile turned to a half-frown. Yokyok leaned in and pursed his lips.
"I don't know why, Hilgya, but...your blood smells good for a dwarf."
Oh-kayyy thenn...that was strange. Anyone want to continue for me? I got no ideas for here...or is this a good ending?
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2009-09-05, 03:17 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Oh. Oh my.
Redcloak x Jirix x True Love.
This one will take a while.
Here it is- not very good, perhaps, but still.
Spoiler"You know why I called you here."
Torchlight flickered upon the dark walls of the Unhallowed Tower; Jirix watched intently as Redcloak's words fell softly off of his full, green lips. The goblin's yellow eyes were wide and compassionate, endlessly deep wells of kindness- sight fixed upon them, Jirix imagined he could see straight into the depths of Redcloak's soul.
"Jirix..."
A moment passed, awkward and silent: the only noise in all the world was the gentle breathing of the two goblinoids.
At least, the only sound that mattered.
At last, Jirix met Redcloak's gaze and spoke uncertainly.
"I...I don't..."
"You know full well, Jirix."
Wavering, the hobgoblin gathered his courage.
"I hope so."
Emboldened even as the words left his mouth, the orange-skinned figure mustered the words he had practiced. So many times he had uttered them in the darkness when he was alone, hoping that somehow Redcloak would hear him. So many months, and at last he had the chance to make sure he was heard.
"I... I love you, Redcloak."
Jirix spoke in a hushed whisper, the sentence issuing from his mouth like a rolling tide of mist. It engulfed them, silence blanketing the two as a veil of fog.
Jirix did not know what to say; his very blood was jumping in anxiety, waiting for Redcloak's response.
Waiting for the moment of truth.
And then the words came, the ones he had been waiting for.
"I love you too, Jirix."
...
The candle went out, plunging the icy hallway into darkness.
But for Jirix, the sun shone like burnished gold and light washed the world in joy.Last edited by Elfin; 2009-09-05 at 03:43 PM.
Masters of the Sword: A Warblade's Handbook
Walking the Way: A Swordsage's Handbook
Avatar by Miss Nobody. Doll by Recaiden.
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2009-09-05, 04:09 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
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2009-09-05, 04:30 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-09-05, 05:00 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Feb 2008
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- The Blessed Geometry
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Long ago, there was a picture of that pairing in the House of Horrors by Ink. Reposting it to inspire, inform, and...uh...incinerate.
Spoiler
EDIT: Unlike in Malkar Grumbo's fics, Miko seems to be enjoying her situation.Last edited by Raging Gene Ray; 2009-09-05 at 05:07 PM.
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2009-09-05, 05:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
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- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-09-05, 05:23 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2009
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- On the Internets
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
New Redcloack-V comic section thing!
Ho Ho HoLive each day of your life like the man that has never seen a yurt.
~Proverb
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2009-09-05, 05:52 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
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- TX, USA
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Hurrah! -enjoys comic thoroughly-
"It must be humbling to suck on so many levels." -Sheldon Cooper, Big Bang Theory
When life gives you lemons, tell Belkar it called him short and then laugh from a safe distance.
Starving the trolls since 2004
Proud inventor of the I-pod Throwing Star... I think.
Feel free to click the clickies! (By that I mean DO IT NOW!)
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2009-09-05, 05:53 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- Among the spiders
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Spoiler
The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story
Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.
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2009-09-05, 06:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
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- It would break your mind.
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Last edited by Malkar Grumbo; 2009-09-05 at 06:18 PM.
I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
Ability Scores:
Strength- 9
Dexterity- 11
Constitution- 11
Intelligence- 12
Wisdom- 11
Charisma- 11
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2009-09-05, 07:54 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
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Masters of the Sword: A Warblade's Handbook
Walking the Way: A Swordsage's Handbook
Avatar by Miss Nobody. Doll by Recaiden.
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2009-09-06, 04:20 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- you might be an assassin!
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
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2009-09-06, 09:07 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2009
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- Lurkers Anonymous
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2009-09-06, 09:08 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2009
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- About-2-BackStab-You-Land
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2009-09-06, 11:36 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jun 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Masters of the Sword: A Warblade's Handbook
Walking the Way: A Swordsage's Handbook
Avatar by Miss Nobody. Doll by Recaiden.
-
2009-09-06, 01:09 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Julio Scoundrel x Kazumi with Drunkenness. Okay. This...can't be too hard.
Anyone wanna write this? I doubt I do. I'd need more brain bleach than I own.
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2009-09-06, 01:34 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
- Scotland
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Just noticed number 12 on table 3 says lord Kabuto when it's actually Kubota.
Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.
Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.
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2009-09-06, 01:41 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.