"What did you just say?"

[pinwiz]

me: "can i use your VHS player?"
friend: "... wait... what did you just say?"
me: "uh... VHS player. You know. the thing that plays the tapes"
friend: "..."

[mucat]

Girl: "Mr. Smith, what's the sun?"

Might just sound wierd because you heard that one sentence out of context.

Though I did once have a student insist, with absolute conviction and a good dose of superiority, that the moon does not actually exist...

[Shas aia Toriia]

me: "can i use your VHS player?"
friend: "... wait... what did you just say?"
me: "uh... VHS player. You know. the thing that plays the tapes"
friend: "..."

To be fair, nobody calls it VHS. Also, they probably haven't used one in 10 years.

[Temotei]

To be fair, nobody calls it VHS. Also, they probably haven't used one in 10 years.

I have and do call it a VHS VCR (my bad). I don't need it, but hey. A few teachers are still getting into the technology of today...or...many years ago. Whatever.

If you're flying in your canoe and your left wing falls off, how many pancakes does it take to fill in a gopher hole?
Three, because elephants don't wear t-shirts.

[pinwiz]

To be fair, nobody calls it VHS. Also, they probably haven't used one in 10 years.

Just to clarify, i was pointing out my own folly. The actually name of the things are VCRs.

yeah i haven't used one in years. Except now my speech teacher is requiring us to record our speeches and watch them, and my school is apparently too cheap to go digital. despite it being a technical school....

[Grimtina]

A long long time ago in school.

Friend: You know I'm not dumb, right?
Me (knowing she was somewhat): Uh, why?
Friend: You know so much about stars and the planets and such, maybe you also know about the moon?"
Me: Errr sure.
Friend: Maybe you can tell me why the moon is over there in the morning and now it's over there? *pointing left and right*
Me (close to laughing): Because the moon orbits the earth. It is moving.
Friend: That's not possible.
Me: Why not?
Friend: Because our physics teacher says we always see the same side of the moon. So it is not moving.
Me: If it is not moving, then why is it over there in the morning, and there in the afternoon? *imitating her pointing*
Friend: See, that is what I want to find out for the longest time!
*insert mad laughter on my part here*

[Temotei]

A long long time ago in school.

Friend: You know I'm not dumb, right?
Me (knowing she was somewhat): Uh, why?
Friend: You know so much about stars and the planets and such, maybe you also know about the moon?"
Me: Errr sure.
Friend: Maybe you can tell me why the moon is over there in the morning and now it's over there? *pointing left and right*
Me (close to laughing): Because the moon orbits the earth. It is moving.
Friend: That's not possible.
Me: Why not?
Friend: Because our physics teacher says we always see the same side of the moon. So it is not moving.
Me: If it is not moving, then why is it over there in the morning, and there in the afternoon? *imitating her pointing*
Friend: See, that is what I want to find out for the longest time!
*insert mad laughter on my part here*

We're also rotating.

[Maximum Zersk]

I have and do call it a VHS. I don't need it, but hey. A few teachers are still getting into the technology of today...or...many years ago. Whatever.

If you're flying in your canoe and your left wing falls off, how many pancakes does it take to fill in a gopher hole?
Three, because elephants don't wear t-shirts.

You're canoeing up a tree and you blow a tire. How many pancakes does it take to build a bridge, none 'cause Ice Cream doesn't have bones, true or false?

[Klose_the_Sith]

Woman on crowded train: "Do you mind standing so I can sit down?"
Man: "Unfortunately, you are not elderly, pregnant or smokin' hot, so no"

Heh, that one's just awesome. I'd totally do that

[Temotei]

You're canoeing up a tree and you blow a tire. How many pancakes does it take to build a bridge, none 'cause Ice Cream doesn't have bones, true or false?

Neither, because Lanky's bananas are blue.

[Mystic Muse]

---
Girl 1: "Don't eat too much chocolate, you'll get diabetes."
Girl 2: "It's okay. I brush my teeth"

to be fair, they may have misheard the person.
---

Girl: "What's the capital of Perth?"

what's supposed to be so face palmy about this one? I'm not even sure what Perth is.

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

what's supposed to be so face palmy about this one? I'm not even sure what Perth is.

Perth is, I believe, a city in either Australia, UK, or both.

[Maximum Zersk]

Perth is, I believe, a city in either Australia, UK, or both.

Ah, the wonders of the Universe. It can make two countries that are no where near each other share a city.

[Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll]

Ah, the wonders of the Universe. It can make two countries that are no where near each other share a city.

"So I was in London for the weekend..."
"You went to England for a weekend?!?!?"
"No, I meant London, Canada!"
"Ooooooh"

[ForzaFiori]

Ah, the wonders of the Universe. It can make two countries that are no where near each other share a city.

That would be because the UK owned Australia for a while. Just like in the US, there are New York, New Jersey, several Charlestons, etc. When people move to a new place and make a city, they tend to name it, and base it, off of the one they left.

[Maximum Zersk]

"So I was in London for the weekend..."
"You went to England for a weekend?!?!?"
"No, I meant London, Canada!"
"Ooooooh"

Gotta love Canadian town names. There's a town called Pickle Lake somewhere in the east. Close to where I live, there's Salmon Arm. Yeah.

That would be because the UK owned Australia for a while. Just like in the US, there are New York, New Jersey, several Charlestons, etc. When people move to a new place and make a city, they tend to name it, and base it, off of the one they left.

What? No, I meant that one moment you're in Queensland, then you take a few steps, and suddenly you're in Cornwall.

[Pyrian]

We have a lot of places named Fairview.

[Maximum Zersk]

Not to mention Springfield.

D'oh!

[Serpentine]

I think it's Sandy Creek here. And all the towns in this region are named after Scottish places (my town was misspelled, apparently).

[llamamushroom]

what's supposed to be so face palmy about this one? I'm not even sure what Perth is.

The joke being that Perth is the state capital of Western Australia.

For me, the only one I've heard that made me angry was when an extremely annoying child said "It's only racist if it's white people bashing up [insert derogatory racial term here]". How can he... GAH!

Oh, and when my History teacher said "Don't worry about forgetting to do the assignment - in the holidays, I forgot what an avocado was."

[Serpentine]

I once forgot how to say "computer". I got to "comp", but just couldn't manage the rest. I think that was somehow related to a migraine, though.

[Maximum Zersk]

The joke being that Perth is the state capital of Western Australia.

For me, the only one I've heard that made me angry was when an extremely annoying child said "It's only racist if it's white people bashing up [insert derogatory racial term here]". How can he... GAH!

Oh, and when my History teacher said "Don't worry about forgetting to do the assignment - in the holidays, I forgot what an avocado was."

Waiy, is it stupid because of the thought that he was explaining, or that he worded it with a slur.

But yeah, I think it's stupid to have the idea that only white people can be discriminatory, and I'm the minority.

[mucat]

I once forgot how to say "computer". I got to "comp", but just couldn't manage the rest. I think that was somehow related to a migraine, though.

I once spent weeks trying to remember the verb "to commandeer". Except, of course, that I didn't know that the word I was looking for was commandeer, because I've forgotten it. I kept racking my brain, saying "what do you call it if a cop or a soldier takes someone's car because they need it for an emergency? They seize the car? Confiscate it? Requisition it? No, there's a better word for it, but what the hell is it?" I had no particular need for that word, but it was driving me nuts that I couldn't remember it.

Eventually, of course, the word came to me when I was thinking about something else...but the weird part is, once a year or so ever since then, I will forget that specific word again, and once more it takes days or weeks to remember it. I now have a text file on my computer which contains the single word "commandeer", ready for the next time I forget it.

[Fin]

Two of my friends talking in the garden...

'Dude, does your grass always grow this short?'

'No... We just cut it!'

Three girls on a bus....

Girl One: 'What is the capital of Italy again, I forget?'

Girl Two: 'It's Athens.'

Girl Three: 'Haha, your so dumb sometimes. Everyone knows it's Milan'

I literally wanted to scream at the last one!

[Athaniar]

This isn't something I've heard, but something I've said. And I'm sure it deprived those who listened of more than a few brain cells.

Me: "I did not care for the Godfather."
Everyone who listened: *Dead silence*.

Bah, movie snobs. I didn't like it, either.

[Serpentine]

Three girls on a bus....

Girl One: 'What is the capital of Italy again, I forget?'

Girl Two: 'It's Athens.'

Girl Three: 'Haha, your so dumb sometimes. Everyone knows it's Milan'

I literally wanted to scream at the last one!

It's Berlin, right?

[Amiel]

The girl got it partly correct; Milan is the fashion capital of Italy


Serp, I'm unsure whether you are screwing with our minds, as you probably are; but, it's Rome.

[Zeb The Troll]

Girl: "Mr. Smith, what's the sun?"

I once had a college level instructor give our class several misinformed pieces of information as though they were fact:

* The sun is made of lava.
* DSL stands for Direct Line Service (he was our Intro to Networking instructor, I might add).
* You should never have a computer in your bedroom because hackers can use your monitor to watch you. (No, he was not talking about webcams, he was talking about CRT's. At the time, broadband internet access was still in its infancy and hardly ubiquitous like it is now.)

After one week I dropped the course and cited those quotes as the reason.

[Serpentine]

Serp, I'm unsure whether you are screwing with our minds, as you probably are; but, it's Rome.

I never was very good at geography. Let you keep thinking I'm a twit, or not...?

[Klose_the_Sith]

Guy screaming at the rugby: "****ing hell ref, can't you see it's all part of their elaborate plot? Shove the guy off the field and just restart the bloody game! Do you even know the rules?!?"

Yes, truly that poor guy writhing around in pain was part of their highly organised conspiracy plot.

It must be one hell of a convoluted conspiracy plot too, seeing as we won 61-15 ...

I once spent weeks trying to remember the verb "to commandeer". Except, of course, that I didn't know that the word I was looking for was commandeer, because I've forgotten it. I kept racking my brain, saying "what do you call it if a cop or a soldier takes someone's car because they need it for an emergency? They seize the car? Confiscate it? Requisition it? No, there's a better word for it, but what the hell is it?" I had no particular need for that word, but it was driving me nuts that I couldn't remember it.

Eventually, of course, the word came to me when I was thinking about something else...but the weird part is, once a year or so ever since then, I will forget that specific word again, and once more it takes days or weeks to remember it. I now have a text file on my computer which contains the single word "commandeer", ready for the next time I forget it.

I do the same thing with 'Headlock' except I forget it every couple of months.

It's a really weird feeling