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2010-07-15, 09:56 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2007
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- California
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Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier
And my point is that if the things you'd rather do outweigh the relationship, you end the relationship.
I think it's wrong to say that your freedom to chose chocolate is limited by the presence of vanilla, therefore you're happier without vanilla even being there.Last edited by Superglucose; 2010-07-15 at 11:14 PM.
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2010-07-15, 09:58 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2008
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- Xin-Shalast
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2010-07-15, 10:00 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2007
- Location
- California
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Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier
'cause she's WRONG on the INTERNET about her OPINION! THAT"S WHY!
I've known for a long time that my way of seeing things is horribly different from everyone else's. It makes it difficult to communicate at times, since I'm coming from waaay over in left field and you're coming from waaay over in right field.
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2010-07-15, 11:08 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2008
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- London, Yewkay
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2010-07-15, 11:10 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2007
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- Sydney, NSW, Aus
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Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier
Last edited by loopy; 2010-07-15 at 11:11 PM.
My blog, if you are interested in my rambling.
Avatar by Sneak. Praise be!
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2010-07-15, 11:15 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2007
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- California
- Gender
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2010-07-15, 11:23 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Feb 2008
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- California
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Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier
Question. How many instances of true love have you witnessed or observed? If they "believe" that they have found their life partner, how long do think it lasts?
Currently playing a "blind" (Miraluka) sniper in a Star Wars SAGA Edition RP
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2010-07-15, 11:31 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
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Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier
It's an awesome perk, though.
This is interesting. I am very, very reticent to move away from San Diego because this is where the vast majority of my friends are.
Meh. I'm not particularly willing to categorize people's loves as "true" or "false", except maybe in extreme cases of the latter."'Intelligence' is really prolific in the world. So is stupidity. So often they occur in the same people." - Phaedra
Pyrian's LiveJournal
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2010-07-15, 11:36 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2007
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- California
- Gender
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2010-07-15, 11:36 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2008
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- Xin-Shalast
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2010-07-15, 11:41 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jun 2006
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- Dinosaur Museum aw yisss.
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Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier
Can't judge. Maybe if you look at very old people at the end of their lives who have been together since being teenagers, but that's about it.
Personally, I don't believe in "one true love". That idea is incredibly depressing to me: There are more than 6 billion people in this world. If there is only a single person "meant" for me, then my chances of finding them are miniscule, far lower - if I recall correctly - than the estimated probability that the first atomic blast would destroy all life on Earth.
What I do believe in is multiple "true loves": a multitude of people with whom one could happily be mate to, and grow old with.The Iron Avatarist Hall of Fame!
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2010-07-16, 12:09 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2007
- Location
- Michigan
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Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier
I can say with confidence that I've seen it in person once. It wasn't reciprocated, but while the relationship ended, the love is still there. It's the day to day acceptance of fact and the reinforcement of the fact that I'm still alive, and life is actually pretty cool when I let myself stop and think about things that are coming up soon, that as a project, occupies the majority of my time lately.
It doesn't get any easier day to day, but it aches a little less... and for that, while I'm not happy, I am contented.Amazing Mountain King avatar courtesy of the remarkable Starwoof!
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2010-07-16, 12:40 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
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- behind you with a knife
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Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier
Thanks to the people who advised me the other day, now I'll just have to wait till fall to implament that advise once the next school year begins.
Alexi Laiho Avatar by Mr._SaturnSpoiler
Sephiroth and Arthuai[CENTER]Sepiroth avatars by Ink
Arthuai by Mr_Saturn
Alexi Laiho by Mr_Saturn
I have a metal blog thing now, check it out
You can't kill the metal, metal will live on! \m/
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2010-07-16, 12:58 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2008
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- Xin-Shalast
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Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier
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2010-07-16, 01:02 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2006
- Location
- Dinosaur Museum aw yisss.
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier
Before they tested the first atomic bomb, they weren't totally sure that it wouldn't destroy the world. They thought it probably wouldn't, but they had worked out the probability that it would. But it didn't (yet ). But yeah, it's a "they didn't know", not an "it could still happen". Do you think if it were the latter, people would be even more sparing with them?
*waits for someone to point out that the above is just an urban legend or somesuch*The Iron Avatarist Hall of Fame!
Prizes(Un)Official Best Playground Avatarist Competition
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Also, buy my stuff! T-Shirts too!
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2010-07-16, 01:20 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
- Location
- I smell chocolate
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Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier
Connection's been crummy the past few days. Ahem:
Moving on after breakups -- Personally I always admired the approach taken by JD on Scrubs: after dumping Elliot, he decided he wouldn't date again until she did. Not saying that should be a societal rule or anything, but as a personal decision by the character, it seemed nice.
Singledom -- Relationships are hard work. For now, I'm lazy and overwhelmed by inertia.
True love --Originally Posted by Serpentine
Dilbert: He must be very tired.
As for the question of "how many," it's a tough call. Couples can seem all perfect and healthy but have major problems beneath the surface, invisible to onlookers if not also to themselves. Some of you may remember my being rudely reminded of this a few months back.
And on that note, since we're re-railing the thread and all, what's everyone's nightmare scenario in a relationship?SpoilerMine's about what I described above: getting into what I think is a happy, all-around healthy relationship but it actually being a co-dependent/hyper-independent involvement, or one of us being accepting/encouraging of behaviors they really shouldn't be, or she'll be unhappy with something but not communicating, or something along those lines. In theory any problem I can perceive* I can address, if only by learning to accept it or ending the relationship, but what the heck do you do with what you can't perceive?
*Denial counts as not perceiving.A potent relic of the past. 'Tis said the wearer commands the wisdom of kings, and can see the unseeable.
Like the grue lurking in your bedroom waiting for you to fall asleep.
But perhaps some things are better left unseen...
Dazzling avatar by Ceika
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2010-07-16, 01:21 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2007
- Location
- California
- Gender
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2010-07-16, 01:34 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
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- Xin-Shalast
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Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier
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2010-07-16, 01:56 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2007
- Location
- Greensboro, NC
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Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier
I cannot say for certain that it is true love (not being a member of the relationships I am about to mention) but from what I can tell, and seeing how the people interact, I can think of a few (strangely, all in my church. Not saying religion has to do with it, I just happen to know alot of the adults there)
The relationships:
My pastor and his wife
My youth pastor, and her husband
the couple that helps out with youth.
All three of these at least seem as though they are what people consider "true love". The two people involve get along excellent, even if not agreeing on the same interests, stimulate each other (no, not just that way you naughty people), and generally mesh well with each other.
I can also think of several friendships that are like that, at least two of which I am in, one of which being the girl I mentioned a few posts back, and the other being my male best friend.Avatar by Lycunadari
Go Tigers!
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2010-07-16, 02:36 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
- Location
- Seattle, WA
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier
VICTORY!!!!!
Went to a nice mexican place, had a couple margaritas and some tasty food, talked and laughed a TON, then went to see Knight and Day. About 1/3 of the way through the movie, I got bold, slid my hand over and nudged her hand. She picked her hand up and set it on mine! We held hands for a while, then I put my arm behind her and held her as well as one can in a theater who's arm rests won't move. After a little while of that, my hand went to sleep and we went back to holding hands again, well she held my hand, mine was numb.
After the movie, it was late and we both have to work tomorrow, so I walked her to her car. Got a nice hug AND A GOOD NIGHT KISS!!!!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Now time to go to sleep, and then start planning a 2nd date!
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2010-07-16, 02:55 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2006
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- BalWash, DelMarVa
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Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier
I now have an image of Cthulu doing the cabbage patch in the parking lot after she leaves.
Want to meet some of the most awesome people on the internet? Come to the Baltimore/DC Area RenFest Meetup 2012!
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2010-07-16, 03:51 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
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- Xin-Shalast
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Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier
I always forget that's a dance. So I thought Cthulhu was doing something especially bad there.
Bloody hell. 3 months. No, over three months. They've been in the ******* honeymoon stage. And now it's gotten even harder to get ahold of her rather than easier. I want to just take their skulls and crack them open on one another right now. I don't even know why I'm so put off by it.
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2010-07-16, 04:29 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2007
- Location
- London, UK.
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier
So that means I could of started dating three days after T dumped me?....Interesting....
Anyway, so now I've become friends with another girl I'm interested in and things are going okay actually, we've been speaking on Skype (Not just us two most of them time) and me, her and a couple of friends are going to a goth club tomorrow. She also seems to really like my voice, which isn't anything that anyone has ever really said to me before, but I'm just going to see how this plays out. She knows of my tendency to become....amorous...okay, well according to some people I become amorous when drunk, according to others I become a flirtatious charmer. Hopefully I'm going with the second one for this.
And to the whole 'enjoying being single thing': I have no problems with being single and I do enjoy myself most of the time. It's just that I really do prefer being in a relationship with someone that I care about.
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2010-07-16, 04:38 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
- Location
- for the sake of my art?
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier
If you put on the face every time you're around a couple, I can see why they would make themselves difficult to contact.
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2010-07-16, 04:44 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Xin-Shalast
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Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier
Yes, because I've totally let my disgust at their sappiness known to their faces.
If I did that, the point would be moot because they'd have deleted me from their contacts online and no longer even occasionally answer my phone calls.
Or are you saying I should just go ahead and do that and be done with them? Because if you are, well, just say it.
I'm mostly annoyed and bothered by how she mostly just finds fault with me these days since she started going crazy for the girl she's dating. Why the hell do I have to compete with her girlfriend in some kind of moral judgment when I'm not even trying to date her?
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2010-07-16, 06:33 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
- Location
- UK
- Gender
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2010-07-16, 08:20 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
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Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier
"'Intelligence' is really prolific in the world. So is stupidity. So often they occur in the same people." - Phaedra
Pyrian's LiveJournal
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2010-07-16, 09:46 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
- Location
- London, Yewkay
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Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier
as my garden can atest, home grown veg is abundant over here. And theres even services where you can have organic food delivered right to your door step (probably in a nice polluting diesel van!)
as for the food being 'better' - this is london. We have some of the worlds best restaurants, and food from far too many cultures than i care to count. The only thing that sucks is the prices.
I play the 21 day rule - don't start something new until at least 3 weeks after a split. Gives both sides time and space to sort themselves out, appologise and ask to be taken back if neccessary, and say anything they have to say without anyone else in the way. And in fairness, 3 weeks is a fair chunk of time if someone really has something important to say then they've got more than enough time to say it. After that... well... you've had your time, should have spoken up a bit quicker
There are a few things that nullify the 21 day rule:
1) you dont respect the other person (i'll leave the reasons for this up to you)
2) they've moved on (then its up to you)
neither of the above two should oblige you to not follow the 21 day rule (or even move on at all), but they're the only 2 i can think of that allow a justifiable violation of it
coidtron 3000
if its still the honeymoon stage and they're too wrapped up with each other, leave them be - spend time with other friends. You'd be "fighting a losing battle". Cut your friend a bit of slack for now, but if it goes on for too long then re-evaluate how close you are, and all social benifits that entagles (such as how much of a shoulder to cry on you'll offer if it all goes tits up)
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2010-07-16, 10:44 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2005
- Location
- Myrtle Beach, SC, USA
- Gender
Re: Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier
The most important thing in a relationship - any relationship - is communication. Being able to talk about things (feelings, interests, working through disagreements) is something that is monumental. All the people I have known for years and care for the most are people I can TALK to. Doesn't have to be for hours or every day or whatever. That's what I love about my best friends. Whatever happens, we can either laugh about it or talk through and find a way to deal with it. And a new perspective is always nice. And it's much easier to, for example, date someone a few times and say, "You know, I like you but this just isn't working for me," than to drag it out, make excuses, try to fix it, spare someone's feelings, etc. Honesty? Sure - but being able to express that effectively is the way to go.
...this coming from a girl in the midst of a divorce...Spoiler
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2010-07-16, 10:50 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2007