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2009-11-11, 11:32 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
I'll slightly alter this idea, since I don't care enough about Elan to ship him; Haley has always known there were two Vs, and has taken full advantage of it since the beginning.
But I don't write smut, so go ask someone else. I recall Zanaril likes smut.
Although... I could write Roy stumbling upon Haley, female V and male V playing the beast with three backs...
Also, I absolutely hate to do this, but I really need constructive criticism for this oneshot before I post the final version on fanfiction.net, so I'm going to ask again: how can I make this fanfiction better?Last edited by Dark Faun; 2009-11-11 at 11:39 AM.
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-11-11, 11:55 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Feb 2009
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- Alaska
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2009-11-11, 12:04 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Don't blame him. MILFs have been found extremely attractive since the beginning of time.
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-11-11, 12:06 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2008
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
I think the development is a bit too rapid. The reader barely has time to process V and Miko being together before having to deal with V and Miko breaking up. It would work better as a two or three-chapter fic, IMO, with their relationship being established before being broken down.
Which brings me to my next point. We see too little of what V and Miko are normally like with each other for their breakup to have much impact. I think you need to delve a bit more into what attracts them to each other and what makes their relationship work, and do that by showing, not telling. :)
Also, the plot was kind of too straightforward. V bags the paladin, paladin learns V is married, they break up, period. Try to build in a few twists. :)
Also, I don't think you explored the full implications of such a relationship to the full extent. Specifically, the reactions of the Order. Read the strips about the inn again and try to imagine Miko marching in and saying V's in her room. I think, rather than believe it immediately, the others would first be totally shocked that Vaarsuvius, the studious elf, has just gone and slept with the annoying paladin that had taken them prisoner. Roy's reaction, after shock, would probably be scepticism, something like here... "Whoa whoa whoa, Miko. What exactly do you mean when you say Vaarsuvius is in your room? What's V doing there?" Especially seeing as Roy sees Miko as rather naive in that area.
Hope that helps. ^^;Last edited by Kaytara; 2009-11-11 at 12:07 PM.
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2009-11-11, 12:14 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
That's really useful, thanks so much! :D
I'm not that good with plotting and characterization.
And I still haven't found why Miko and V would like each other. :pLast edited by Dark Faun; 2009-11-11 at 12:20 PM.
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-11-11, 12:32 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2008
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Right - I've promised myself I'm not going to even think of loading Dragon Age: Origins with its compelling gameplay and sweet, sweet plotlines....*cough* until I get this stuff organised:
Author Category:
Best Mini-Series - A crack story that stretches over 3 to 5 episodes.
Best Series - A crack story that stretches over 6 or more episodes.
Best Newcomer - Awarded to an author that has so far only written one story (and we hope will write more).
Best Short Story - 300 words or less of quality crackfic.
Most Romantic Story - Pure fresh squeezed "awwwwww".
Most Disturbing Story - Pure fresh squeezed "ohgodmakeitstop". Arguably the most coveted award.
Most Faithful Characterisation - Where you wouldn't know it wasn't the Giant writing the lines.
Best Oneshot - A one off story, over 300 words, of such greatness that it's readers are left screaming "yes, Yes, YES!!" and begging for more.
Artist Category:
Best Artwork - A crack picture, awarded for technical skill rather than picture content.
Best Banner - You draw them, we love them.
Best Newcomer - Award to an artist that has only done one picture so far (and we want to see more of. Now.)
Most Romantic Picture - A picture to melt the heart of whomever gazes at it
Most Horrifying Picture - A picture to melt the brain of whomever gazes at it.
Character Category:
The "Playa" award - Given to the character that treats fellow lovers as disposable pleasures, en masse.
The "Village Bike" award - Given to the character that has starred in the most stories. Pretty much a forgone conclusion....
The "Tainted Love" award - Given to the character that treats the object of their lust with the same care and attention as the Marquis De Sade.
The "Beast With Two Backs" award - Given to the animal that manages to horrify the audience in any crack story.
The "Outside the Box" award - Awarded to a character who doesn't feel hemmed in by social convention and is willing to experiment with different species or even objects and animals.
The "Destined For Greatness" award - A hitherto minor character, appearing in 10 or less strips, that has been thrust into Crack fiction glory.
I think this should be enough categories for now, although I'm open to suggestions for Character categories, as these will be used to make "Awards Night" crackfic. For hosts, may I suggest Sabine and Julio Scoundrel, as the main strip's most prolific hedonists?
One final thing - may I suggest a link to this post either in the story list or somewhere on the front page, so that if we do need to anything, we can easily find it?
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2009-11-11, 01:19 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-11-11, 01:34 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
I hereby vote for Kaytara's picture with V and Redcloak gazing upon their lovechild as the Best Artwork. And that's something, because I hate V x Redcloak and any offspring produced by this ship.
The banners all have the same quality though, so I guess we won't be able to not make it a picture content contest.Last edited by Dark Faun; 2009-11-11 at 01:36 PM.
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-11-11, 01:51 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2009
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- Where the dragons are
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2009-11-11, 01:52 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2008
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
I second the "V x Redcloak with baby" drawing as best crack pic.
Quick question: Does V know any healing spells?
I know she knows:
-Levitate
-Disentigrate
-Gust of Wind
-Fireball
-Lightning bolt
-Magic Missile
Anything else I should be aware of, or that might be interesting/horrifying to see in the 40K universe?
I've already got the rough outline thought up for the V x Cain fic. I've just to finish thinking up the dialogue for a certain part, and then I'll be able to write up Chapter 3!
If you guys don't mind, can I ask a few questions? You know, to help provide a more entertaining product, and to make my job of deciding what to do and how to do it a lot easier.
If you don't mind answering honestly:
-Who likes the V x Cain fic, and who does not like it? (I figure its a love it/hate it sort of thing, and I'd like to know where everyone stands on it. )
-What should be stronger: comedy, romance, angst, combat, plot developement, or character interaction? (Pick as many as you want...)
-Do you have any suggestions, or requests for characters or events you'd like to see?
-Feel free to share misc comments...
If I'm gonna write this thing, I'd rather it be written in a way that people can enjoy.
Edit: You are a very interesting person, Closak... And now I know what to give you for your birthday - an ABD crackfic!Last edited by Lycan 01; 2009-11-11 at 01:53 PM.
Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
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2009-11-11, 02:02 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2008
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Remember that this is the crack pairings thread so Romance, and the fluid exchanging process often involved with romance, should play a strong role.
I'd be interested to see how it plays out, Mr Lycan - I enjoyed the first bit. Remember that a little explanation may be needed at times as not everyone is a 40k fan but everybody is a OoTS fan =)
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2009-11-11, 02:06 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2009
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- New York
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Is it just me or is has this place not been cracky enough lately.
Come on people! This is the Crack Pairings Thread! THREE! This place should look like the playroom of an Eldritch Abomination!My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-11-11, 02:21 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2008
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2009-11-11, 02:24 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
As an arcane caster, V can't heal. Ever.
Though V mentioned using restorative conjuration here, but I don't know enough of D&D to know how that works.
-Who likes the V x Cain fic, and who does not like it? (I figure its a love it/hate it sort of thing, and I'd like to know where everyone stands on it. )
-What should be stronger: comedy, romance, angst, combat, plot developement, or character interaction? (Pick as many as you want...)
-Do you have any suggestions, or requests for characters or events you'd like to see?
-Feel free to share misc comments...Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-11-11, 02:28 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2008
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
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2009-11-11, 02:30 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Contradicting what Discord said, I'd love to see Commirar Yarrick, especially if this is Armageddon, just because that crusty old bastard would see through Cain in a second, and like him anyway, plus it gives you another character, which is nice.
However, interaction is more important then anything else.Nadir We,
Youth Born,
Blood Letters,
Axe Weilders,
Victors Still.
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2009-11-11, 02:34 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Yarrick isn't a meme character, like those raving madmen whose joke was old even before it was invented; he's a character that created a meme (or so I suppose from your post). Nuance.
I'd like to see his reaction to V, and most especially V x Cain, though. Mainly because I've no idea how he reacts to Eldars.
Isn't he busy chasing Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka (read: epic level space ork who laid waste to entire planets for kicks and giggles) somewhere in the galaxy though?Last edited by Dark Faun; 2009-11-11 at 02:49 PM.
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-11-11, 03:03 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Okie-dokie! Thanks for the input, guys...
Do Cain and Yarrick even exist in the same century?
I've actually got how the romance will develope figured out. I intend to put a lot of work into Cain and V's interaction, as well as other characters and how they will react to a Commissar interacting with an Eldar through any means other than combat.
And for those who don't know of Cain and Jurgen, I was actually going to link to their Lexicanum (or whatever the 40K wiki is called...) pages at the start of the next next chapter. I've just gotta find the links first...
Comedy is the main thing I needed to check. I didn't want to have too much or too little comic relief...
*cracks knuckles*
Better get to work...Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
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2009-11-11, 03:08 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
To spare you the trouble, here are the Lexicanum entries for Ciaphas Cain and Ferik Jurgen.
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-11-11, 03:12 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
That is no boundary for love!
And the third war of Armageddon is still raging, so I suspect yes. At least, it was through the Black Crusade. And Cain is 200 or so. Yarrick is old, Cain still looks good, so it is reasonable to conclude that yes, they could be.
And he created a meme by being so awesome orcs respect him. He has a powerclaw, one eye, a badass longcoat and hat, and a chip on his shoulder. He can tear apart a warboss with his bare hands, and was formerly a Catchan Commisar.
And nobody messes with him. Ever.
Besides, I've always wanted to see how he and Cain interact, two 'heroes', both Commisar's with very different ways of doing things, but am too lazy to write it myself, and introducing a few other characters is a good way to keep your story interesting.
Just imagine Cain's face. "Congratulations, you're being sent to Armageddon to fight orcs. Then he arranges for a transfer... and finds himself attached to Commisar Yarrick to hunt Ghazghkull. So much irony..."Nadir We,
Youth Born,
Blood Letters,
Axe Weilders,
Victors Still.
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2009-11-11, 03:17 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
And then Ghazghkull hits on Vaarsuvius.
Wouldn't it be so cute?Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-11-11, 03:21 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2009
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- Where the dragons are
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Redcloak x ABD.
Aliens made them do it
Spoiler
Redcloak woke up confused.
He looked around trying to figure out where he was.
A cell, a really really big prison cell.
How did he get there?
And why did he have a feeling that something horrifying had happened?
And for some reason there was a Ancient Black Dragon sleeping in the corner on the opposite end of the cell.
The door creaked open and Redcloak turned to look.
The sight of the man standing there caused the memories to start coming back to him.
Someone had teleported into the tower.
Xykon, who still hadn't calmed down over the elf fiasco from last week had gone to attack immediately.
It...didn't end well for the lich.
Xykon was backhanded with enough force to be sent flying straight across the room.
All of his spells had already been used up without causing even the slightest bit of damage to the intruder, while Tsukiko was lying face down with a giant smoking hole where her stomach had been and Redcloak was barely concious and in no shape to do anything, the MITD was nowhere to be found.
The force with which he landed was enough to send his bones flying left and right, leaving only the skull and a bit of spine intact.
The intruder picked him up and monolouged something, but Redcloak blacked out before he heard what it was
"I see you are awake. Good, then i can explain the situation to you."
Nobody moved.
"I have brought the two of you here in order to start a breeding program. You see, i need an army and i figured that half-dragon goblins would do just fine. So to sum up your situation, Mate Or Suffer, then be Mind Raped and made to mate anyway."
"Wh-" Redcloak started but was quickly interrupted by the air around his neck suddenly becoming dense enough to nearly suffocate him.
"Did i say you could speak?"
Redcloak took a deep breath as the pressure on his neck dissappeared.
"Now, i'm going to leave one of my subordinates in charge of you, when i come back in a few months i want to see results, or else!"
And with that the man walked out and slammed the door shut behind him.
---------------------
He exited the cell.
That's one more stage of the plan enacted, but there's still so much to do, and only a few billion years left to do it in, ah well, it can't be helped.
If everything wasn't ready when the time came...he didn't even want to think about it.
"Reality Shift"
And with that he disappeared of to some other universe somewhere to do whatever he was supposed to do.
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2009-11-11, 03:22 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2008
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2009-11-11, 03:23 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2008
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Oh gosh... That is so much awesome... But I can't write it. For one thing, it throws the plot I've been planning into a blender. But also, I don't think I could do the interaction between Cain and Yarrick the justice it deserves... Besides, he'd just blast V into nothingness with the laser beam mounted in his empty eye socket.
Edit: Woo, Closak! Told you writing wasn't that hard. That was pretty good. I'm assuming the baddie was obscured by darkness or blinding light filtering through the doorway, or something? Should be interesting to see where this goes next...Last edited by Lycan 01; 2009-11-11 at 03:26 PM.
Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
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2009-11-11, 03:31 PM (ISO 8601)
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2009-11-11, 03:36 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Your local Cleric.
Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
(yes, that is possible)
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
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2009-11-11, 03:49 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2009
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- Where the dragons are
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Why?
I don't see what's so wrong with that, i just really love dragons that's all.
Dragons deserve to be loved too you know!
Or are you implying they don't *Takes out chainsaw*
The baddie is actually closer to Sarda than Darth Vader in terms of both power level and personality.
He's also somewhat insane due to having met a few to many Eldritch Abominations.Last edited by Closak; 2009-11-11 at 03:57 PM.
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2009-11-11, 03:53 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Feb 2009
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2009-11-11, 04:08 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2009
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- Among the spiders
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Whoa! I didn't know I could actually manage that kind of reaction! I was actually worried that it was narmy. Where did it start to get to be something that provoked emotion?
*laughs* I figured that you would ask that. I said before that I was ignoring Belkar's four-week time limit for story time line reasons. While I was writing out the story, I realized that I'd have to try shoehorning the whole 'Oh, and Uncle Belkar died too' thing. I've never felt right about not treating the death of a main character tragically, but this story was fixating on Tiasal finding out about her parents. I would have to shove Belkar's death to the side in a whole 'And Zoidberg' way and it would have ruined the mood. If I tried treating his death as something profound on its own, it would have distracted from the actual point of the story--Tiasal's relationship with and view of her absent parents and, therefore, herself.
So I just let him stay alive and called it a night.
Why yes, I do put way too much thought into my fanfiction. Why do you ask?
Well, at first I decided that she would be ten years old, then after posting I realized that she was indeed technically older than Abram, so I'm going with her being fifteen. And the six years is elongated to eleven years.
As for why, I'm glad you asked. I had another psycho-babble thing building up in me and I want to get it out. If you don't want to read another ungodly long essay, skip past the spoiler.
SpoilerTiasal follows in her parents’ footsteps in the fact that she was born with more complexity of thought than she should have had and a thirst for knowing. Unlike her parents, she has a predilection to being quiet, possibly from the fact that nearly the first stimuli she had been exposed to was her father telling her to be silent to be safe (but that is dealing with much more controversial psychology so that doesn’t necessarily have to be the case).
Her quietness was exacerbated when she realized/got the idea that she was not wanted. The adults in her life were always careful about letting her get hints like this (things like O-Chul [who would sometimes visit with someone else from the old Sapphire Guard to give information about where Xykon was] never saying a word about the torture he suffered at Redcloak’s hands and only entertaining her with light-hearted or sugarcoated stories about his life as a paladin, Inkyrius avoiding the general topic if hir and V’s marriage and what broke them apart, anyone in the Order talking about the things Redcloak and V both had done…), but through observation and listening when they thought she wasn’t paying attention, she began to learn that everyone had wanted her aborted before she was born and that her birth had ruined almost everything. Sure, everyone likes her, but she understands that no one approves of her existence and she believes, whether she’s right or not, that everyone wishes that she had never been born.
She starts getting quieter to give off the illusion of not existing, but still isn’t completely silent.
Tiasal has a need to know the truth about her parents. She wants to know if she should be proud of them or spurn their memory, and in turn, if they loved her or wished for her non-existence like everyone else. She refuses to settle for sugarcoats over their image. She wants to know everything, the bad and the good, so she can judge for herself. Due to her sense of privacy, she never articulated that fact. She asked about her parents to almost everyone she knew while she was a child, and around age four, she realized that she wasn’t getting the real truth from them. Since she had realized how no one wanted her through observation and listening, she decided to do that again, cutting talking completely out of the equation so she can catch the slightest misstep that would tell her something of her heritage. Also, through their sugarcoating (which she considered actual lies and not just ‘omitting the bad and putting the rest in a good light’), they instilled distrust in her, another reason she doesn’t want to speak. They formed her accidentally so that, because of her supremely sheltered upbringing isolated from anyone who would hurt her or discriminate against her because of her race, she would blindly trust anyone, be they a child or a man in an alleyway pulling her back and telling her to get on her knees, to always have her best interests at heart and never try to hurt her, but she is always wary of what people say, especially when she asks something. (If she asks a question, they may be lying. If they tell her things without being prompted, then they’re more likely to tell the truth.)
So, she doesn’t speak because she thinks that she can learn the truth better by being quiet, she wants to give the vague impression that she’s not there, and she doesn’t trust the people she’s around to not lie to her if she asks questions.
That’s a difficulty in her and her caretakers’ relationships. She has developed distrust of them. This distrust combined with her confusion about her parents and herself results in anger, and since she is silent, her anger festers and she lets it out in passive aggressive ways, such as going outside after dark when she’s told not to. This combined with her silence has caused an inability to connect too well with most of the adults in her life, and though her caretakers love her and she loves them, they don’t relate or bond. She lacks a real mother and father figure which she needs to fill with the idea of these people she has never met. Since she has the heart of an intellectual, she refuses to fill the gap with fantasies of perfect people and demands that she know who they were. Maybe this would make it easier for Redcloak and V to come into her life if they’re revived, or maybe it would make it harder—she needs to trust people before she speaks and allows a real connection, and if she felt that she was being lied to, she would drop that chance of trust. Then again, V and Reddy are both brutally honest people and, due to their inexperience with children (I seriously doubt that Vaarsuvius paid enough attention to hir children with Inky to really understand how to deal with them), would probably treat her like a mental adult, the surefire way to earn her trust.
(Like mother like daughter, I suppose. Vaarsuvius required a sense of safety and Tiasal requires a sense of trust/honesty.)
I could go on, but before my babble on an OC bores anyone who is still reading, I’ll cut myself short.
In a nutshell, she doesn't speak because she only wants to ask questions and she doesn't think that she'll receive honest answers.
I'm not sure if including him was a mistake or not. As I said, I don't own SoD, but from what I've read and heard about him, Right-Eye seems like a family-oriented, kind, and maybe even forgiving goblin. I figure that he'd forgive his brother after so long, and if not, he'd still love him enough to look after his daughter as best he can while Reddy's still indisposed.
He's there as a ghost, yes, but I'm being flexible with the D&D rules and he's something of a guardian angel until Redcloak can protect Tiasal instead, if that will ever happen at all.
Ah, woopsie. Oh well. Pen to to 'flexibility with the D&D rules.'
I'm saying nothing about Roy's and Celia's and their hypothetical offspring at this moment.
D'awwwww... she looks so cute in her little pink dress...
Again, I haven't read SoD, butSpoilerdoesn't the Plan require an epic-level arcane spellcaster? V's good, but at most she's high-level. Far from epic. Reddy's a higher level than her.
Anyway, I'm thinking of doing a sequel to my spawnfic and I'm penning out a few ideas, but would anyone actually be interested in reading it?
And how are we going to handle the Squickies? It'd be difficult to categorize stuff if there's just random votes for random things in random categories floating around.Last edited by Water-Smurf; 2009-11-11 at 05:32 PM.
Spoiler
The April Squickies Award for Best Crack Pairing Story
Thank you so much to Kaytara for the avatar! It's of Redcloak's and Vaarsuvius's love child.
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2009-11-11, 04:25 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2007
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Last edited by Lira; 2009-11-11 at 04:25 PM.
Credits to half-halfling for my adorable avatar.
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