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2009-11-13, 12:54 PM (ISO 8601)
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Credits to half-halfling for my adorable avatar.
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2009-11-13, 01:10 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
I am showing my support of the crack pairings thread.
my sig is in spoilers because I think it violates forum rules if I don't put it in spoilers.
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2009-11-13, 01:25 PM (ISO 8601)
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2009-11-13, 02:04 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Texas...for now
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
[/sarcasm]
FAQ is not RAW!Avatar by the incredible CrimsonAngel.
Saph:It's surprising how many problems can be solved by one druid spell combined with enough aggression.
I play primarily 3.5 D&D. Most of my advice will be based off of this. If my advice doesn't apply, specify a version in your post.
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2009-11-13, 02:13 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Feel free to use it. I advise to upload it on your own account so that you still have it if my own account has a problem. If you don't have an account though, you're free to use the banner as it is.
Monzach, I'm on a big project on Inkscape right now, but I'll try to find time to make a Redcloakette x Jirix avatar, even if I'm more used to making scenes of larger size.Last edited by Dark Faun; 2009-11-13 at 03:45 PM.
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-11-13, 03:42 PM (ISO 8601)
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2009-11-13, 03:49 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Yeah, I would rather not have Roland St. Jude knocking on my door saying "well, what's next? A THIRD banner I need to PM its user about?"
Also, I humbly come before the dwellers of the crack thread with a request. Despite racking my admittedly not very efficient brain for ages, I can't for the love of me find out why Miko and V would be attracted to each other or fall in love, other than "heh, you look hot," so I miserably beg thee for answers. How? Why?Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-11-13, 03:57 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
I would like to again point out that that is far from the levels of "invisibility" that we've seen in the comic on multiple occasions.
I quite frankly can see Miko as one of the few characters willing to both tolerate V's self-interest and focus on other, 'more important', issues.
Plus, does crack need anything beyond 'hot'?[/sarcasm]
FAQ is not RAW!Avatar by the incredible CrimsonAngel.
Saph:It's surprising how many problems can be solved by one druid spell combined with enough aggression.
I play primarily 3.5 D&D. Most of my advice will be based off of this. If my advice doesn't apply, specify a version in your post.
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2009-11-13, 03:58 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
That woudn't be good. In fact, i'll quote what Roland said yesterday:
"Sheriff of Moddingham: Okay, this is waaay off track. Those drawing the Crack Pairings drawings should be careful of how violent or explicit their images are. Those who find them to violate the Forum Rules should report them.
If people want to make some accommodation by spoilering or by turning off sigs they're welcome to do so, but we're not going to make them.
As for The Giant's stand on what is and isn't allowed with his intellectual property, that's his business. As for posters' use of The Giant's intellectual property, that's governed by the Forum Rules (here), the law (everywhere), and The Giant's stated preferences (if you respect those)."
They wouldn't. Then again, thats your avatar.Your local Cleric.
Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
(yes, that is possible)
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
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2009-11-13, 04:03 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-11-13 at 04:08 PM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-13, 04:09 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
speaking of banners I advise AGAINST using this one.
I don't think most of the playground wants to see a banner that essentially says "go **** yourself."Last edited by Mystic Muse; 2009-11-13 at 04:09 PM.
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2009-11-13, 04:16 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
[/sarcasm]
FAQ is not RAW!Avatar by the incredible CrimsonAngel.
Saph:It's surprising how many problems can be solved by one druid spell combined with enough aggression.
I play primarily 3.5 D&D. Most of my advice will be based off of this. If my advice doesn't apply, specify a version in your post.
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2009-11-13, 04:17 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2006
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- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-13, 04:33 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
...Oh my.
Discord, are you trying to make all the guys on the forum die from massive nosebleed-induced hemorrhaging?
Oh, and Roland said it was bad because it looked as if Julia was in a non-consensual situation. Just take out Julia and it should be fine.Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2009-11-13 at 04:34 PM.
My webcomic!
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2009-11-13, 04:51 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Well, they have a lot in common. First up, they are very sheltered in terms of sexuality. Second, they are extremely self confident, to the point of total arrogance. And third, they have a tendency to egotism, believing themselves the only ones capable of doing... anything.
I'll post ths again on the vague hope that someone will pay attention.Nadir We,
Youth Born,
Blood Letters,
Axe Weilders,
Victors Still.
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2009-11-13, 05:16 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
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2009-11-13, 05:58 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Being attracted is easy, all you really need is spend enough time together that you're forced to start to feel affection rather than feel annoyed all the time.
A better question would be why, precisely, they would spend time together.
How's something like this...
V considers Miko a conudrum. Perhaps he wants to understand how someone can have such unshakable confidence in themselves - and act in a manner so similar to him - all without possessing a shred of arcane power - after all, to him that's the only true power. Imagine him ranting to her about his power in an effort to get her to cow down, her only acting more proud in response, and him becoming increasingly puzzled and bewildered.
Miko... let's see.. Let's say she has doubts about V's personality. V scanned as "Not Evil" but she sees him being nothing but harsh, cold, pragmatic and violent (maybe she spots him Exploding Belkar?). Since V technically scans as "Not Evil" and she's under orders to deliver the Order alive if possible, she tries a more cautious approach for once. She tries to get to know V better to determine how high the risk of him turning evil (and thus forcing her Evil-Smiting hand) is. So she tries to pin down his personality, maybe even deliberately trying to provoke him to gauge his control of his darker tendencies.
And of course, at the beginning they both hate each other, as per the canon. :)
Such a premise should provide plenty of opportunity for entertaining conflict and character development that will force them to smooth out their rough edges with each other. And once they start doing that, they can actually get to know each other and realise how much they have in common - such as unshakable confidence in their own abilities, inability to consider the possibility of one's mistake, willingness to go as far as it takes to accomplish one's goals, being quick to anger, being impatient with other peoples' flaws, etc....
Hope that helps a bit. :)Last edited by Kaytara; 2009-11-13 at 05:59 PM.
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2009-11-13, 07:35 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2007
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- U.K
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Great update as always, Water-Smurf, and Discord, I love the Haley/Miko banner!
ETA: Oooh, I've just had a look at Cracklord's latest, and it's very impressive too. A few typos, but I love the idea of everyone coming face-to-face with what's been driving them throughout the comic, and how it isn't turning out exactly as anyone expected...
Unfortunately, I haven't been reading the crossovers, as I don't know most of the other fandoms *is ignorant*
I'm sorry this took so long to write - I was so busy being eaten by life that I even missed the Great Sig Banner Controversy! I hope this will go some way to make up for being so absent over the last week...
OOTS Bodyswap fic, Part 3!
(following on from Part I and Part II)
The story so far: Back in the Wooden Forest adventuring days, the OOTS woke up one morning and found out that everyone had mysteriously swapped bodies.
had been turned into
had been turned into
had been turned into (and was placed under threat of dire punishment from if he tried anything inappropriate)
had been turned into
had been turned into
had been turned into
Now the casters have lost their magic, the fighters don't know how to use their weapons properly, and Haley is lashed off her head on elven sensory overload. Their only hope is to journey back to civilisation to get themselves changed back...
Spoiler
‘But ROYYYYYY!’ Belkar groans, taking the smallest steps possible down the path, ‘I have to!’
‘NO!’ Roy sets Elan’s pretty features into his sternest because-I’m-the-party-leader-that’s-why expression.
‘But – ’
‘I don’t care!’. Roy casts a look over his shoulder to where the rest of the party are lagging along behind, and raises his voice so they can all hear him. ‘We can’t trust you not to do anything horrible if we let you go off by yourself, Haley’s in no state to keep an eye on you and in any case’ – his voice is shooting up in pitch again – ‘NOBODY is going to the bathroom until we all get turned back, and that’s final!’
Belkar whimpers softly. ‘Roy, I can’t believe I’m the one saying this to you, but be reasonable! It’s at least half a day’s walk back to the village! And I’m telling you, this is way more uncomfortable from this side of the fence – I don’t know how chicks stand lining up for bathrooms all the time without getting stabby.’
Roy refuses to answer, glaring straight ahead into the distance. He has a horrible feeling that the halfling has a point, and that’s what scares him most of all in this whole situation.
‘Anyway,’ Belkar glares ‘I don’t really see how you’re going to stop me.’ Spinning around, he extends one of Haley’s long legs and jumps off the path, tearing away into the undergrowth. With a growl of annoyance, Roy sets off after him. Haley and Elan are both fast runners, and it’s oddly enjoyable to be able to move so lightly and quickly, an experience Roy hasn’t had since he was around fourteen.
‘You’ll never catch me, Greenhilt!’
‘You keep telling yourself that, Belkar.’
‘And even if you do, 5gp says the chick can totally beat up the bard!’
Hmm. Roy’s actually always sort of wondered about that himself. He suspects that again, Belkar might have a point, and is so caught off-guard by this happening twice in one morning that he’s too distracted to notice his quarry shinning up the nearest tree.
‘UURRGH!’. He does, however, notice when about 170 pounds of fully-grown human female, armour and pack drop directly onto his head. Combat reflexes taking over, Roy twists and bucks, hooking his hands into Haley’s long red hair, and the two of them go rolling over and over through the undergrowth.
‘ROY, stop – OW – being such a – DAMMIT – jerk! I’m not gonna – AARGH! – do anything to Haley’s – QUIT IT! – body! At least not anything worse that you’re doing to it right now!’
‘GET OFF ME, you horrible disgusting – AARGH – I’m gonna turn us back, and then I’m gonna kill you, and none of the rest of the party will blame me for one – OWW, STOP IT!’.
Apparently, Roy now owes Belkar five gold. Somehow, the halfling has ended up sitting on Roy’s chest, fists digging into his – well, Elan’s – collarbone. Both of them are sweaty and flushed from the running and fighting, and Belkar’s hair has tumbled loose around his – Haley’s – shoulders due to the hair-pulling. Belkar can feel the man’s chest heaving under his hands, and Roy is painfully conscious of the weight of the long, heavily-muscled legs wrapped around his upper body. Their heartbeats. Glittering green eyes meet sparkling blue, and just for a moment, it’s the most unsettling thing either of them have ever –
‘Unhand my friend, you fiend!’
Belkar leaps up as though he’s been Fireballed as Vaarsuvius bursts onto the scene and launches hirself at them with all the halfling speed and viciousness that should rightly belong to Belkar himself. The elf realises mid-spring that ze is not actually sure which member of the party ze should be attacking, then appears to make a split-second decision, Tumbles in mid-air and goes for Roy.
‘For shame, Sir Greenhilt! How can you allow the halfling to goad you into causing harm to Miss Starshine?’
Roy puts up his hands, ineffectively trying to swat V away. ‘I’m sorry! I let him get me mad, that’s all!’.
Haley’s face has turned completely white, and Belkar looks oddly shaken as the elf turns to scold him. ‘Hey, I didn’t mean for that to happen! But he was being a jerk, he wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom, and –’.
If only they had a camera. The expression on Belkar’s twisted clever-ugly little face as V pulls one of hir trademark purse-mouthed ‘I’m-about-to-launch-into-a-three-hour-lecture’ faces is absolutely priceless.
‘Sir Greenhilt. Much as it pains me to acknowledge it, the halfling does indeed have a point. I am afraid you do Miss Starshine no favours if you force Belkar to neglect the needs of her physical body, and since we have – ’
‘Um,’ the look of embarrassment is totally uncharacteristic for either Belkar or Haley. ‘Um, don’t worry about it, Ears. I sort of, um, I think I don’t wanna -- I mean, I don't need to go any more.’
The elf looks sceptical. ‘Very well then. I suggest that we cease this foolishness, and return to the rest of the party forthwith. Come along.’
Without thinking, Belkar puts out a hand to help Roy to his feet, and then jumps away again as his heart gives another almighty lurch when their fingers brush. ‘Oh, man. Oh man, oh man, oh no. This is too disgusting.’
Roy shuts his eyes grimly as he sets off behind V. ‘I don’t like it any better than you do, Belkar.’
Both of them are walking slightly oddly as they proceed back to the rest of the party: Roy thanks all the powers that be for the chainmail tunic that conceals the reason for his odd gait, while Belkar is just happy that dark brown leather doesn't show any kind of damp. The halfling insists on walking the whole way with his head turned sideways in order to avoid the sight of Elan’s butt as Roy walks in front of him, while Roy does the journey with one hand over his face to keep the smell of Haley’s clean hair and warm leather armour out of his nose. When they rejoin the party they split by unspoken mutual consent to the rear and the front of the group respectively, putting as much distance as possible between themselves.
‘How much longer do we have to go, Durkon?’
Durkon, who has politely insisted on giving Elan a ‘break’ from guiding Haley along the path, speaks up. ‘It’s nae even lunchtime yet, sae I’d sae a good few hours yet, lad’.
Roy closes his eyes, sighs deeply, and comes to a decision. ‘Right. I didn’t want to do this, and I don’t even know if it will work, but I’m afraid it's reached the point where we have to take any advantage we can. Elan?’
A clank of armour behind him tells him that the bard is there. ‘Yes, Roy?’
‘I know your voice is gone, but do you think you can still play your lute?’
Elan fishes in his pack for a few moments, pulls out the instrument, and runs the strings under his fingers. There are a few clumsy notes as his hands adjust to being smaller and thicker, but thankfully the shape of the music is still there.
‘Alright, then. Here goes nothing!’
Desperately, frantically, hoping for any magical edge the party can scrape together, Roy opens his mouth and begins to sing. The result is actually a little frightening. Ever since he was little, Roy has never tried to sing anything more complicated than holiday carols and the Fighting and Drinking Song of Bash U. But now, here it is, easy as speaking, easy as breathing – Elan’s beautiful light tenor voice rolls out of his throat, filling the forest clearing with music. And he can feel it – comfort and cheer stealing into everyone’s hearts, even his own, the music giving them courage to move on even through the horror and weirdness of this very horrible and weird day. After he finishes the first chorus, Roy turns to the others, motioning to Elan not to stop playing.
‘Everybody, all together this time. You know what to do!’.
Surprisingly, Haley is the first to join in from under the cloak. No-one can remember ever having heard V sing, but the elf’s voice is a husky, soft contralto, picking up the melody and carrying it along. Durkon joins them in Roy’s rumbling baritone, looking surprised and pleased to have suddenly acquired a singing voice. Belkar pitches in with Haley’s thin, crystalline soprano and doesn’t even change the words to say anything appalling, and V sings counterpoint in Belkar’s slightly deeper tenor, dipping and weaving around Roy’s melody, halfling voice wielded with elven skill. Finally, even Elan himself starts up, softly so as not to disturb the others, blending Durkon’s harsh tuneless croak into the melody as best he can. They walk along the path, singing together, united in a simple yet heartfelt prayer:
‘Remember, remember, remember, remember who we are!’
To be continued...
Last edited by esmerelder; 2009-11-13 at 09:22 PM.
Many thanks, blue silk handkerchiefs, and small inarticulate hedgehog noises to Funky Goose for the sig banner!
Even more thanks to half-halfling for the adorable avatar, which is from this comic!
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2009-11-13, 07:36 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-11-13, 07:47 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Nice one again, Esmerelder!
I've got a funny one, which I'll post after dinner.My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
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Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-11-13, 08:21 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Hi, I'm new on this website.
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2009-11-13, 08:47 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2008
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Welcome to the Crack Pairing Thread, lawyergoblin!
@ esmerelder: Great chapter as usual! I love how you've got all the interaction so well thought out... Its funny to see how the characters act in such zanny situations.
@ Cracklord: I didn't read your "Belkar in Hell" fic, but its obvious that Belkar is in a pretty bad situation. And I quite enjoy the interaction between Odin and Durkon. Although, what difference will it make if he switches from Thor to Odin?Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
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2009-11-13, 08:50 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Thanks for the introduction. I have been reading the crack pairings, and I've got to say I am amazed with the amount of talent in these stories. I want to thank all of the people who have written the stories. good job!
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2009-11-13, 09:03 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2007
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Aw, thanks CoffeeIncluded and Lycan 01! And hi Lawyergoblin! *waves* Welcome to the crackiest thread in the entire playground...
Many thanks, blue silk handkerchiefs, and small inarticulate hedgehog noises to Funky Goose for the sig banner!
Even more thanks to half-halfling for the adorable avatar, which is from this comic!
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2009-11-13, 09:08 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Awww... somebody we didn't scare off.
I enjoy not scaring people off.It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-11-13, 09:11 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
but scaring them off is so much more fun!
probably been done but HERE's a crack pairing for you.
Bahamut/Tiamat. or if that won't work even squickier.
Tiamat/Juiblex.Last edited by Mystic Muse; 2009-11-13 at 09:16 PM.
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2009-11-13, 09:22 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
I was wanting to make a pairing, but I don't know how to create a spoiler, anyone mind telling me how?
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2009-11-13, 09:24 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2007
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Here's how you create a spoiler:
[spoiler]Text here[/spoiler]Credits to half-halfling for my adorable avatar.
...............................................
Come visit the Discussion Thread Index II.
Looking for a new webcomic to read? Take a look at the Webcomic List.
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2009-11-13, 09:24 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Sure! You just put
<spoiler>
Type your story here
</spoiler>
only where I've used < and >, you should use [ and ] to make it work.
ETA: Oops, ninja'd!Last edited by esmerelder; 2009-11-13 at 09:25 PM.
Many thanks, blue silk handkerchiefs, and small inarticulate hedgehog noises to Funky Goose for the sig banner!
Even more thanks to half-halfling for the adorable avatar, which is from this comic!
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2009-11-13, 09:58 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Welcome to the Crack Pairings thread! The screwiest place in the playground, and yet one of the nicest places in the playground! Brain bleach is in Isle 4. We've got medium, large, jumbo, and economy size.
In any case, here's my pairing...I really don't know what to call it. The closest thing I can think of is OOTS/Giant Sand Worm.
Spoiler
Things were finally going smoothly. They were traveling on the giant sand worm; Roy and Durkon giving directions, V guiding the worm, and Belkar being bait, safely quiet with a book that came with the spice package for some reason.
Then they realized that none of them had any idea where Haley and Elan had gone off to. Then Belkar had sat up, an impressive feat as he was being dangled upside down.
"Hey, I smell sex! Who's getting some?"
They shouldn't have turned around. But turn around they did, to find Elan and Haley engaged in some form of coital act that, in addition to the normal...Tools that one uses when engaged in, shall we say, "intimate activities", also involved scales from the sand worm, a broken arrow, and Banjo.
"Good Gods! What are you guys doing!?"
"Merciful Thor, me eyes!"
"May I remind the two of you that this is not a good location to engage in such intimate acts, and that you should wait until nightfall!?"
"Hey! No fair! Why can't I challenge the Beast with Two Backs!?"
"Belkar, don't--!"
Too late. Belkar had twisted around and tried jumping back onto the head of the worm. Things went downhill from there. V tried recasting the spell, but Belkar broke free and ran towards the amorous couple. Durkon and Roy tried catching him, but ended up colliding into each other. Then the giant sand worm started wondering where that yummy package of spice (I.E.: Belkar) had gone off to, and started squirming around for him, causing everyone to lose their balance. Elan and Haley, for their part, found it extremely difficult, if not downright impossible to stay on a squirming, bucking, thrashing giant worm when they were engaged in a very passionate sexual act.
To make a long story short, the worm ended up tossing everyone off onto the sand. In a pile. On top of each other. With a very naked Elan and Haley on the bottom. Or they would be on the bottom, if Belkar had not already taken that spot.
Then the worm, with astonishing delicacy, removed everyone's clothes, seemed to laugh at them for some time, then left.
Durkon spent the rest of the night beseeching Thor for the most powerful alcohol known to dwarfkind. V and Roy spent the rest of the night researching a Scour (Mind) spell. Haley and Elan slept on opposite sides of the camp that night, very far away from each other, and the rest of the Order for that matter. Belkar spent the rest of the night in his tent.Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2009-11-13 at 09:59 PM.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell