Crack Pairings Matchup Table

[Dark Faun]

Yes, the possibilities are mind-boggling. While I doubt V would willingly tell any of the party about this development in his marital situation, it would be quite interesting if they found out, anyway. Especially, yes, Belkar. Gods, this would give Water-Smurf a whole new avenue for her VxBelkar fics....

Or even the VxBelkar one.

You know... The weird thing is, I used that exact expression (or, to be more precise, "...the universe gained a level of Ranger and took Vaarsuvius as a Favoured Enemy") in one of my V-apologist debates back in the day. Either this is a hilarious convergence of alike-thinking great minds, or some people have been reading my 1000000-word verbose essays a lot more closely than I would have wished for their mental health....

Where do you think I picked up this expression?

Maybe the Linear Guild will find out and manipulate V into their ranks thanks to this information... (Or V will give up arcane power forever.)

[Zanaril]

Where is Water-Smurf, anyway? I'm long overdue on my dose of VxRc. Or VxAnyone, for that matter.

This is why I think V was mistaken in falling in love with a baker and not a fellow arcanist. A fellow arcanist will understand his everlasting quest for ultimate arcane power, and even help (with the assumption that they'll share it, and anything short of a pair of saturday morning cartoon villians or yuppies would)

So, this could give us...

VxZz'dtri
VxAarindarius
VxPompey
VxJulia
VxEugene
VxDurokan(sp?)
VxDrunkAzuriteWizard

I'm sure there's more. Who am I missing?

[Kaytara]

One doesn't need to be a fellow arcanist to be able to empathise or even sympathise with V's quest for power, I think. Especially given that, as far as we can deduce, V pursues power not as an end in itself but because he believes it can solve problems. ("...If arcane power cannot solve a problem such as this, then I should never have left my family to seek it out....")

You know, my pet idea of V's past is that he was at first interested in magic purely for its own sake, but around the time he came into Aandy's apprenticeship his parents were tragically killed in something that could have been prevented by magic... (maybe a black dragon killed them? Dun dun dunn! :D) ...thus driving him to pursue magic as the ultimate problem-solving tool. His parents being dead would explain why he hung around in Aandy's ivory tower after finishing his apprenticeship, too.

But yeah, tough luck with Kyrie. Kind of sad that he married (and apparently fell in love with) someone who thought so little of his life's dream.

Or even the VxBelkar one.

You must mean VxRedcloak (or you thought I meant VxRedcloak xD), but yeah... though I'm hard-pressed to imagine how V could be "served" while imprisoned in Azure City... XD

Where do you think I picked up this expression?

Yay! I'm contributing to culture! A hilariously disturbing pseudo-cult-crackfic-culture of shamelessly obsessed V-apologists, but still....

[Zanaril]

Yay! I'm contributing to culture! A hilariously disturbing pseudo-cult-crackfic-culture of shamelessly obsessed V-apologists, but still....

That's the best kind of culture!

[Dark Faun]

One doesn't need to be a fellow arcanist to be able to empathise or even sympathise with V's quest for power, I think. Especially given that, as far as we can deduce, V pursues power not as an end in itself but because he believes it can solve problems. ("...If arcane power cannot solve a problem such as this, then I should never have left my family to seek it out....")

You know, my pet idea of V's past is that he was at first interested in magic purely for its own sake, but around the time he came into Aandy's apprenticeship his parents were tragically killed in something that could have been prevented by magic... (maybe a black dragon killed them? Dun dun dunn! :D) ...thus driving him to pursue magic as the ultimate problem-solving tool. His parents being dead would explain why he hung around in Aandy's ivory tower after finishing his apprenticeship, too.

That would make Vaarsuvius even more of a tragic character. To think she (if I recall correctly my reading of spoilers) was not even supposed to be in the strip to begin with.

But yeah, tough luck with Kyrie. Kind of sad that he married (and apparently fell in love with) someone who thought so little of his life's dream.

Yeah. I wonder if she'll find a new love - one that can and will accept his life's dream - sometime in the future...

Yay! I'm contributing to culture! A hilariously disturbing pseudo-cult-crackfic-culture of shamelessly obsessed V-apologists, but still....

I am also a Miko apologist (one reason I ship her with V is because I find them so similar), but I have not found an expression likes yours yet.

[The Dark Fiddler]

I'm sure there's more. Who am I missing?

Bad self-insertion fan fiction!

[Zanaril]

Bad self-insertion fan fiction!

Now I'm getting the idea writing a story about a younger Vaarsuvius writing bad self-insertion fanfic.

[Water-Smurf]

Holy crap, I've been gone a while. Stupid school. What'd I miss?

My mate is suing for divorce. And full custody of the children.

You know, as sad as I am for V...

*smirks evilly and goes off to nurse rabid V/Belkar, V/Aarindarius, and V/Redcloak bunnies*

[Zanaril]

Holy crap, I've been gone a while. Stupid school. What'd I miss?



You know, as sad as I am for V...

*smirks evilly and goes off to nurse rabid V/Belkar, V/Aarindarius, and V/Redcloak bunnies*

You're forgetting the possible Inkyrius pairings!

...InkyxBelkar!

Not nearly as much fun as V pairings, I admit.

[Saeyan]

Now I'm getting the idea writing a story about a younger Vaarsuvius writing bad self-insertion fanfic.

With Aarindarius. Uh, I might actually try that one someday. Someday.

Edit: Oops, sorry, I didn't see the "I'm getting the idea of writing" part when I first posted.

You're forgetting the possible Inkyrius pairings!

Can you imagine if Kyrie/Aandy became canon?

But I have to admit that I actually felt sad for V when I read "My mate is suing for divorce. And full custody of the children." It's just...I don't know.

Edit 2: If it's not too much to ask, would anyone mind making an avatar/banner for the Aandy/Kyrie/V thing I posted a couple of pages earlier?

[Zanaril]

With Aarindarius. Uh, I might actually try that one someday. Someday.

Edit: Oops, sorry, I didn't see the "I'm getting the idea of writing" part when I first posted.

"I'm getting the idea of writing" doesn't mean it necessarily will, and it certainly doesn't mean nobody else can. Go for it!

Can you imagine if Kyrie/Aandy became canon?

But I have to admit that I actually felt sad for V when I read "My mate is suing for divorce. And full custody of the children." It's just...I don't know.

You feel bad for feeling happy that bad things are happening because you can write fanfic about them?

[Saeyan]

You feel bad for feeling happy that bad things are happening because you can write fanfic about them?

I feel bad for V because I think he really cares a lot for his family and I feel that Kyrie's actions, while justified, just made life a lot more suck for him. But yeah, this frees the elves up for a while!

Edit: I noticed you've put your own Wanted poster in your sig. A bit counter-productive, no?

[Funky Goose]

Edit: I noticed you've put your own Wanted poster in your sig. A bit counter-productive, no?

Internets for you!

[Taekwondodo]

Is anyone good at coding and can put this in a program? So you press a button and it rolls for you? That would be cool, rather than having to keep flicking back and forth between a random number generator and this board.

[Zanaril]

Edit: I noticed you've put your own Wanted poster in your sig. A bit counter-productive, no?

My whole signature is about other people telling me how creepy my avatar is. I think it fits the theme perfectly.


Also I found it funny.

[Dra-Goon]

You're forgetting the possible Inkyrius pairings!

...InkyxBelkar!

Not nearly as much fun as V pairings, I admit.

I'm currently writing Kyrie x Miko (or rather Miko x Kyrie), which was the last crack-pairing I rolled (together with some amusing situations). I'm having terrible fun.

[The Odor]

I know i'am just a noob herea mad noobcompared to peopleZanrilI think you should keep this Thread on this sub forum.

[Sequinox]

Where is Water-Smurf, anyway? I'm long overdue on my dose of VxRc. Or VxAnyone, for that matter.




So, this could give us...

VxZz'dtri
VxAarindarius
VxPompey
VxJulia
VxEugene
VxDurokan(sp?)
VxDrunkAzuriteWizard

I'm sure there's more. Who am I missing?

VxPompey would be hilarious.
"Sweet Elven Lord of ancient secrets too completely epic to be mentioned (for each one could drive you MAD), it's mini me! Truly, I have never been more curios than at this moment in my very long existence."
"For some reason, lack of gender is very appealing to me right now..."

[Sgeo]

Is anyone good at coding and can put this in a program? So you press a button and it rolls for you? That would be cool, rather than having to keep flicking back and forth between a random number generator and this board.

I'm sure others can do this much better than I can, but I'll give it a shot.

[yubel]

I think sleep dulls my nitpicking abilities. Anyway, here you go:

Spoiler

Show

It had all started when Sir Greenhilt had founded the party. I immediately noticed the rogue he had hired, Miss Haley Starshine by name. We elves traditionally are not in the least attracted to a defined gender; androgyny is what "turns us on", as I believe the expression is. Besides, I already had a hife and children at home. But my marriage was had been? arranged by our parents, and Inky (as I was forced to call hir) was not happy with me. Still, elven society forced us to give the impression that we loved one another, and I kept up this deception even out of the elven homeland.

Anyway,But this…this was different. Miss Starshine fascinated me strangely. I felt a strangepeculiar tingling in the region of my crotch, which I had never felt before. Elves have no special organs in that area; they reproduce asexually, by cell mitosis. At least, most elves diddo. Ever since my two-decade-long puberty at fifty, when I had developed my spellcasting powers d uring which I first developed my spellcasting powers or when my spellcasting powers first manifested themselves, I had noticed a strange cylindrical object protruding from between my legs. I made no mention of it, but when I was older my research told me that it was what the "male" members of the non-androgynous species used to reproduce. This worried me greatly, and finally I resolved to travel the lands, looking for mention of previous elves with this ailment. I joined up with the adventuring party for safety; I had already been accosted by several unsavoury individuals who apparently found me attractive. I was forced to scorch them a little, at which they usually? :P ran away, half-naked.

I digress. Miss Starshine and I shared a room at the caravanserai which we stayed in that night, for she took me for the only other woman in the group. I explained that elves are androgynous and reproduce asexually, a secret which she promised to keep to herself. There was a mirror on the wall next to my bed, and I caught myself sneaking peeks at Miss Starshine as she undressed. She was beautiful, I thoughtmused. Beautiful, but still a distraction, I told myself firmly. I hastily got into bed, trying to banish these treacherous thoughts from my mind.

I added that in because I think it makes the transition between the original last two sentences is smoother, but I guess it works both ways.

Uh, anyway, I agree with Zanaril’s comments. The story reads very much like a stream-of-consciousness ramble (the good sort of ramble, though). Though Diary of an Elf might be just as interesting to read.

help!

i think we should stay in the OOTS section

[Funky Goose]

another banner, inspired by that recent strip.



Enjoy

[Sgeo]

Random crack pairings roller: http://sgeo.diagonalfish.net/crack_pairings.htm .

I'll remove the parentheses if several people ask.

Enjoy!

[Zanaril]

Random crack pairings roller: http://sgeo.diagonalfish.net/crack_pairings.htm .

I'll remove the parentheses if several people ask.

Enjoy!

Oh. Dear. Gods.


I just sat here for the last five minutes re-rolling that thing.

It buuuuurnssssss. And I congratulate you.

Here's what I rolled up

Spoiler

Show

The IFCC + Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron?

Julia Greenhilt + Roy's sword??

Redcloak + Jirix??? (I honestly rolled this one!)

Lord Shojo + Argent

...Redcloak + Miko. What.


Lets keep going shall we?

(Gender-switched Vaarsuvius) + The IFCC

Monster in the Dark + Roy's Archon

(Hinjo + Argent) + Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron

Inkyrius + The entire Hobgoblin army

Zz'Dtri + Lord Shojo

Miko + (Roy's sword + Redcloak)

Bone golem Roy + (Gender-switched Julia Greenhilt)

Tsukiko + Vaarsuvius (hey, at least V isn't genderswitched this time)

The really dangerous trap + The Guy with a halberd

The really dangerous trap + O-Chul (true love this one is)

(Soon Kim (incorporeal) + The Snarl) + Vaarsuvius

Belkar + (Vaarsuvius + The oracle)

(Haley + Redcloak) + Xykon

Mr Scruffy + Inkyrius

Zz'Dtri + Monster in the Dark

The really dangerous trap + Teevo

Belkar + Vaarsuvius

((Belkar + (The entire Hobgoblin army + Durkon while under the effects of Thor's might)) + All of the Demon Roaches at once) + Vaarsuvius

Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron + Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron

Miko + Vaarsuvius

Vaarsuvius + Lord Shojo

Mr. Rodriguez + Zz'Dtri

All of the Demon Roaches at once + Teevo

[Shining Sadist]

ArgentxHaley's Dad

Spoiler

Show

In prison, Haley's Dad shares a cell with a werewolf. Long and messy story short, Haleys Dad found a bestial side of himself and became a werewolf.
On being rescued by the Order, he sets off to rob Hinjo. What he didn't count on was a celestial wolf/guard dog.The fight wakes Hinjo, but by then it's too late. Argent has been transformed into a pregnant werewolf. Hinjo quietly reaches for the brain bleach.

[Trobby]

Random crack pairings roller: http://sgeo.diagonalfish.net/crack_pairings.htm .

I'll remove the parentheses if several people ask.

Enjoy!

another banner, inspired by that recent strip.



Enjoy

Oh...my...gods...DOUBLE WIN! :3

My first result with that program: Teevo + (Guy with Halberd + Durkon While Under the Effects of Thor's Might) ...D: Even the thought of it makes me reach for my brain bleach. VERY well done.

[Lycan 01]

I'm back! Time to get to work...

*begins to roll dice* Lets see what I've got to work with...

Spoiler

Show

Redcloak x The Hydra
Sequal to my previous story, perhaps?

Yokyok x Julia Greenhilt
Sadly, that seems too easy...

Yor x Belkar (Aliens made them do it)
Who's Yor, again?

The Eye of Fear and Flame x Haley (French maid costume)
Wasn't he the skull Belkar kidnapped?

Windstriker x Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron
Miko's horse and who?

Thahn x Durkon (Aliens made them do it)
I don't know who half these people are!

Kazumi x Therkla


Soon Kim (incorporeal) x Haley's Dad x Windstriker (Love/Hate relationship)
*walks away*

Thahn x Thog (Adultery)
Okay, I quit...

Right... So, I don't know who half those characters are... Which pairing(s) should I write out?

[mizzim]

O-Chul + The IFCC
Pregnancy (use male pregnancy if needed)

You should totally do redcloak+miko. It would make win.

[Lycan 01]

Wait, you want me to write those two pairings? I meant the which of the ones that I rolled should I write.


But if you really want me to, I won't decline a challenge. You want cutesy, stupidly funny, or what?

[Sgeo]

Ugh, I made a mistake. For table 4, when it should be rolling twice for table 4, it's rolling twice for table 3 instead. Should be fixed now.

Edit: Also fixed the inability to gender-flip table 4 (which just gives a gender-flipped table 3 result). This is why copy/pasting is so bad.

Edit 2: Meaning it's now possible to get (Gender-switched The really dangerous trap) + The Snarl, which I just did

[Trobby]

I'm back! Time to get to work...

*begins to roll dice* Lets see what I've got to work with...

Spoiler

Show

Redcloak x The Hydra
Sequal to my previous story, perhaps?

Yokyok x Julia Greenhilt
Sadly, that seems too easy...

Yor x Belkar (Aliens made them do it)
Who's Yor, again?

The Eye of Fear and Flame x Haley (French maid costume)
Wasn't he the skull Belkar kidnapped?

Windstriker x Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron
Miko's horse and who?

Thahn x Durkon (Aliens made them do it)
I don't know who half these people are!

Kazumi x Therkla


Soon Kim (incorporeal) x Haley's Dad x Windstriker (Love/Hate relationship)
*walks away*

Thahn x Thog (Adultery)
Okay, I quit...

Right... So, I don't know who half those characters are... Which pairing(s) should I write out?

Alright, let's see if I can sort some of this out...

Yor: Remember that guy in armor from the Thieves guild? The one from the Fighter Outreach Program who would shout "Power Attack"? That's Yor.

Eye of Fear and Flame: Yes, that's exactly who it is.

Jephton/Haerta/Ganneron: The three evil magic-users that V did the Soul Splice with.

Thahn: The Paladin that Haley left in charge of The Resistance after she left Azure City

Hope that helps. And personally I'd vote for anything with Haley or TherkalaXKazumi.