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2010-03-15, 02:34 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2009
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- The Divide
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Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
first off,spoilers to those who havent read it.
I will pmm what I think it isAvatar of a Drow priestess by Teutonic Knight.
This is where I put my writings. Want to take a look?
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2010-03-15, 02:42 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
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- Alaska
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Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
Your local Cleric.
Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
(yes, that is possible)
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
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2010-03-15, 02:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
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- Gothenburg, Sweden
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Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
Last edited by Asta Kask; 2010-03-15 at 02:44 PM.
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2010-03-15, 02:48 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
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- The Divide
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Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
Avatar of a Drow priestess by Teutonic Knight.
This is where I put my writings. Want to take a look?
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2010-03-15, 02:58 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
- Scotland
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
So I've written the score for the first song (they'll never know) but I need to find a place to host it so you you guys can see it. Does anyone know of such a place? It's written using guitar pro if that helps?
Nice to see you back Lycan! Liked your story.Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.
Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.
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2010-03-15, 03:07 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
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- In a galaxy far far away.
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Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
This was supposed to be that durkon/demon roaches thing on the last page, but I got stuck with his cloths and there's some huge blank spot aboth it for some reason.
SpoilerIA AwardsSpoiler
Awesome SpyFox Doll by Recaiden
Epic Avvie by Domochevsky
Everything Else by Me
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2010-03-15, 04:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
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Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2010-03-15, 04:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2010-03-15, 06:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
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- Canada
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Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
Hey, um...I’m brand new! But I just wanted to pop in and contribute to your lovely (and prolific!) thread here.
Pet Peeve – Vaarsuvius/Belkar & Blackwing/Mr. Scruffy
SpoilerIt was at some point on the long trek back through the desert that Vaarsuvius felt the first indication that something was out of the ordinary. A town had finally loomed up ahead, rising above the rolling dunes like a ship on the sea, and the Order had picked up the pace immediately, newly invigorated by the prospect of some fresh water, a comfortable bed, and a good bath. At that moment, V chanced to glance backward and suddenly stopped dead in his-or-her tracks.
Mr. Scruffy, the Halfling’s feline companion, was picking its way over the dunes, lagging behind as it chose each step in that truly picky way that only cats can manage. This was not unusual. What was unusual was the small dark bundle that marred the pure white of the animal’s fur. Vaarsuvius blinked, rubbed his/her eyes, and blinked again, and yet the vision remained. A fat white cat hopping through the soft sand with a raven perched happily behind its ear, squawking animatedly.
Was that Blackwing? Getting along with the Halfling’s pet? Surely not!
“V, come on!” Haley cried. The group was getting ahead. V shook his-or-her head slowly. It was all this sun surely; it heated up the brain and made you see things that just weren’t there.
# # #
Things only got more confusing once they made it to the city. The whole party was eager to eat a proper meal after days of bland dried fruit and stale bread. Elan danced past with Haley on his arm and Roy raised a toast, but it was hard for V to get into the festive spirit when in the corner of the pub, a raven and cat sat sharing a pint of ale they’d gotten from who-knows-where.
The raven dipped his beak into the amber liquid, then sat back to shift his little orange feet nervously around the rim of the mug.
The cat licked its paw demurely and let out a coy ‘meow’.
“Why thank you Mr. Scruffy,” Blackwing replied, “You have lovely eyes yourself.”
V hit his-or-her head repeatedly against the corner of the bar and ordered another glass of wine. Or six.
# # #
It was Belkar who ended up escorting Vaarsuvius back to the inn once the elf was too sloshed to see past the end of his-or-her nose.
“Not like you to drink your face off, Ears,” Belkar remarked, slinging V’s arm down over his shoulders. With an air of distaste, the elf eyed the fluffy cat that hopped up to wind itself between their legs.
“I asshure you, I could shtill take you to pieces even while Intoxshi…intoxicated.”
Belkar gave a condescending chuckle.
“I’d like to see you try. I really, really would.”
The Elf tottered precariously, and the Halfling’s steadying arm slid securely around his-or-her waist.
Hmm. Belkar and alcohol. Vaarsuvius suddenly remembered that this was not a winning combination.
In the corner of V’s eye, Blackwing fluttered over to an adjacent garden’s neatly trimmed rosebush and plucked one of the opulent blossoms from its stem. Mr. Scruffy accepted the flower with a content purr and began munching on the petals.
Even in his/her hazy state, V made a mental note to start torturing Belkar again – the Halfling seemed to need a touch more discouragement. Plus, the animals were driving V absolutely mad – a little violence could be therapeutic.
# # #
Vaarsuvius’ morning perusal of his/her spell book was interrupted by a loud, squawking voice from around the corner.
“Sure, but tulle is classic for wedding gowns, and you’re already wearing a white coat,” said Blackwing.
V stared as Mr. Scruffy rounded the bend, with Blackwing perched as before on top of the cat’s head.
“What I’m really concerned about is wedding cake. I’m not too picky, but I’d prefer if we left bird species off the ingredient list.”
They wandered straight through the room and out the front door into the street beyond, Blackwing’s meandering diatribe on wedding venues punctuated by the occasional ‘meow’ of agreement.
Stunned, V hardly even noticed as Belkar limped by in a state of glowering fury.
“I’ll get you back for this stunt, Ears,” the Halfling growled, “The bananas were one thing, but an entire fleet of medieval-era ice cream trucks? That’s going too far! That second-last coat-rack could have taken my leg right off!”
“Belkar,” Vaarsuvius murmured mildly, “Do you suppose that there is something of a suspicious nature going on between our respective animal colleagues?”
“–And if I ever see another naked postman I’m going to set every building in this wretched town on fire! Fire! You hear me? You’ll rue the day you messed with the Mighty Midget!”
“At first I thought I must be mistaken. How could an associate of mine possibly show interest in a creature tainted by your acquaintance? Nevertheless, the sheer volume of evidence in favour of the idea is becoming difficult for me to ignore.”
“–Oh, I know you’re scared now, but just wait ‘til you see what I’ve got planned! You’ll be quivering in those little Elven shoes when you see what I’ve got up my sleeve. Think poisonous snakes, thumbtacks, and lots and lots of cursed jewelry!”
“Of course, a raven is a highly cultured and intelligent animal, while a cat is on principle a hairy, inarticulate, self-centered egomaniac. Not unlike another pair I know, incidentally. I fail to see how Blackwing could even–”
Belkar blinked. “…Blackwing? Who’s Blackwing?”
Vaarsuvius sighed and left the room.
# # #
Vaarsuvius squinted one eye as s/he peered through the keyhole to Belkar’s room, but no matter how much s/he stared, the image remained. Mr. Scruffy was curled up into a ball atop a red silk pillow, and cuddled into his side and using his tail as a fluffy white blanket was a familiar-looking raven.
“What are you doing here?”
Vaarsuvius whirled around to find Belkar coming up the hall, carrying a tin of cat food.
“Are you…spying on Mr. Scruffy?”
Vaarsuvius straightened and smoothed out his-or-her robe nervously. “Well, yes. I find your cat’s apparent relationship with my raven to be incredibly distressing.”
Belkar stood on his tip-toes a poked V in the shoulder. “I don’t know what they let you cat molesters get away with up in Elf-country, but if you keep stalking my pet you’re not gonna like the consequences. Seriously Ears, leave the Scruffster alone.”
# # #
Belkar’s revenge didn’t include thumbtacks, but there were certainly a whole lot of earwigs involved. An exasperated Roy had banished the two of them to the town’s local library to search for more information on the region. V didn’t bother to point out the futility of sending Belkar of all people to find a book.
The Halfling couldn’t stop smirking as he leaned over to snatch a stray earwig from the elf’s purple locks.
“You’ve got to admit that was an epic prank,” he said in way that was almost fond. “I didn’t know they even stocked that much industrial strength bleach in a town like this. And I have no idea where all those raven feathers came from!”
Vaarsuvius flipped through a few pages of the nearest book without looking up. “Mr. Scruffy is a terrible influence on my familiar. I’m afraid your devil-cat and my traitorous avian leave me no choice. I must find a way to rid myself of your disgraceful feline.”
“What familiar? Never mind, it’s not like you can do much about Mr. Scruffy. I once saw that cat bite the hand off a little old lady that tried to pet him. A creature after my own heart.”
“Say what you like, you uncouth troglodyte. I can and shall get rid of him if I must!” Vaarsuvius brandished an enormous, leather-bound book of law and jabbed a finger at its contents. “Here it states that city bylaws prohibit the ownership of a feline house pet without an appropriate government-issued permit. A message to the proper authorities ought to have the furry nuisance removed forthwith!”
For a second, Belkar looked a little worried. “Does it really say that?” He snatched the book from V’s hands and skimmed over the page. His brow furrowed in confusion.
“No,” V said, ducking under the table, “Not really.”
Belkar managed to drop the book, but not before it exploded in his face.
# # #
There was only one thing left to do – confront the problem at its source.
Late one night, after Blackwing stumbled in with his feathers ruffled suspiciously, Vaarsuvius shut the door and sat down on the edge of the bed.
“We need to talk,” he said.
The bird left off brushing away the long white cat hairs that had tangled in his wing and gave V a questioning glance.
“I know all about this illicit tryst, and it has to stop.”
Blackwing sniffed dismissively and preened his feathers. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I am talking about you and Mr. Scruffy! It is my wish that you cease your courtship of that dreadful cat immediately. I believed you to be an intelligent bird, but your judgment has clearly gone awry!”
“No.” Blackwing crossed his wings petulantly.
“Excuse me?”
“No! I’m going to spend time with Mr. Scruffy if I want to! Have you ever noticed how there aren’t any other animals in the group? I get lonely! You don’t realize how hard it can be, having no one but you for company!”
“But…but consider at the salacious company your beau keeps! What about Belkar?” said V, “How could you be attracted to any companion of that?”
Blackwing shook his head. “I’m not the one attracted to Belkar,” he said wryly.
Vaarsuvius gaped at him, unable to speak, and it was at that moment that Belkar himself burst in, nearly pitching Mr. Scruffy’s tail in the hinges when he slammed the door shut behind him.
“I know what you’re trying to do!” he said, striding in without giving V the chance to recover.
“I-I beg your pardon?”
“I know exactly why you’ve been stalking poor Mr. Scruffy.”
The cat meowed in agreement and leapt onto the bed.
“It’s so obvious now. All of your pretend ‘ravens’ you kept asking me about, the drinking, the sneaking into my room in the middle of the night…totally unnecessary, Ears. All you had to do was ask.”
“Ask you what, pray tell?”
“You want me.” Belkar leered. “I can’t blame you for wanting to get closer to me, but seriously, there’s no reason to use Mr. Scruffy as an excuse.”
“What in the name of the Great Elven Gods are you talking about!?”
“All those pranks? A sad bid for my attention! Vomiting all over me the other night? An attempt to win my heart by playing on my sympathies!”
“You have no sympathies, Belkar. And only you could consider drunken regurgitation to be an attempt at seduction.”
“Hey, don’t knock it. It’s how my Great Aunt Mabel found her second husband you know.”
“I’m sure your twisted relations make excellent role models, but in this case I assure you - you are mistaken.”
Vaarsuvius backed away as Belkar advanced step by step and soon found him/herself crowded back against a wall.
“Belkar, what are you doing!” s/he said desperately.
V froze wide-eyed as the Halfling stood up on the tips of his toes and reached up to curl his fingers lightly around the back of the elf’s head.
“Just stop thinking, Ears,” he murmured, sliding his thumb through the fine silky hairs at the base of the Elf’s neck.
Before the elf had time to compose an appropriately lengthy sentence in response, Belkar tugged V’s head down to his level and leaned in to cross that little space of air between them. The Halfling’s warm breath fanned softly against V’s face, smelling almost of wood-smoke. V’s eyes slid shut and s/he grasped his shoulders for support against a sudden wave of vertigo as Belkar pressed his lips to the corner of V’s mouth. The elf’s breath caught as he lingered there a moment, then swept down to crush their mouths together. And then they were kissing – really kissing – and V couldn’t help but clutch the back of the Halflings head and press deeper into his hot mouth.
This was no sloppy, ale-flavoured smooch on New Years. This was…V had no clue what this was.
The Halfling pulled back carefully and V very nearly leaned in to recapture his mouth before common sense set back in. How had this happened? V gaped at Belkar in pure amazement. His hands were gentle as they cupped the sides of the elf’s face and his habitual smirk had softened, and for a moment Vaarsuvius felt like s/he was seeing Belkar through new eyes.
For a moment. Then Belkar grinned and bit down on V’s lip, and V stamped hard on his foot in retaliation, and suddenly things were back to normal again.
“A pair of bickering children, as usual,” sighed Blackwing, nestling comfortably into the white fur on top of Mr. Scruffy’s head, “but I suppose it works for the two of you.”
Belkar left off pinching V’s arm and craned his back head to see over the elf’s shoulder. He lifted a skeptical brow.
“Hey,” he said, “Where’d the bird come from?”
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2010-03-15, 06:15 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2010-03-15, 06:19 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
- Location
- Canada
- Gender
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2010-03-15, 06:24 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Feb 2010
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- Usaki City, Syona
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Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
Only with elves.
Welcome! ^_^
With a few short weeks, i have attained the title of topic pervert, and i welcome you.
...
The first rule of tautology club...Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
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2010-03-15, 06:27 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
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- The Divide
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Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
and in case you are wondering,lix does has that title.
I am still unsure of what mine is
anyway we welcome you. Good first story and hope to see more.Avatar of a Drow priestess by Teutonic Knight.
This is where I put my writings. Want to take a look?
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2010-03-15, 06:29 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Location
- Usaki City, Syona
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
[offtopic]
Gicko, why do you have a Vengeance Rising banner, and a link?
[/offtopic]
I have way too many ideas for the XykonElan now. XD SO AU. I like AUs. XDRecent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
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2010-03-15, 06:39 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2007
Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
I thoroughly enjoyed your story, WoolenSocks. And I'm always thrilled to see some new talent here. :D Welcome to the thread!
Credits to half-halfling for my adorable avatar.
...............................................
Come visit the Discussion Thread Index II.
Looking for a new webcomic to read? Take a look at the Webcomic List.
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2010-03-15, 06:44 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2008
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Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
Yay! People missed me! And they like my stories!
Warhammer 40,000 is a futuristic setting where the Imperium of Man is locked in constant war with space Orks, space Elves, daemon-possessed super soldiers, the original inspiration for the Zerg, Terminators on crack, and a few other enemies I'm probably forgetting.
Ciaphas Cain is a Commissar, a loyalty officer in the Imperial Guard. He's from a popular 40K book series, and he's actually a big coward. But he always comes out on top, and he's usually met with applaus and hailed as CIAPHAS CAIN, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!!!! XD
THAT IS AWESSSSOOOOOMMMMMMMMEEEE!!!!!!! Totally how I imagined it! Great job, dude!Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
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2010-03-15, 10:19 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
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- Gobbotopia
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Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
that's flare. I am Gicko. just look for the red-fured bugbear with the swordbow <--
sorry i havent been active as of late fellers. been sick all weekend, and for one reasion another it prevents me of writeing too much >.< and im worried that posting anything will be too offtopic... .... ...
ElanxTuskiLast edited by Draconi Redfir; 2010-03-15 at 10:20 PM.
Avy by Thormag
Spoiler
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2010-03-16, 04:58 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Location
- Usaki City, Syona
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
Oops. :/ I can't tell you two apart. XD
Well, the XykonElan is almost plotted out in my head. Almost.Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
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2010-03-16, 05:45 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
- Scotland
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Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
*claps* Wow,well done!
They'll Never Know
Hopefully this link works...
EDIT: Not entirely happy with the timing but it gives you an idea.Last edited by Taekwondodo; 2010-03-16 at 05:47 AM.
Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.
Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.
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2010-03-16, 06:26 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
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Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2010-03-16, 07:57 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Location
- Usaki City, Syona
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
'Alone', V and Reddy.
''Til Now, I always got by, on my own. I never really cared until i met you~'Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
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2010-03-16, 01:06 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
- Location
- Kaeda
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
Just thought I'd post an update on the prologue for my Belkar/Vaarsuvius WiP. I pretty much know what I want to happen, but I've been having trouble finding an appropriate setting without leaving canon realms. Luckily, I've found just the place: during the three-day gap in 377.
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2010-03-16, 02:43 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
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- Gothenburg, Sweden
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Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
Nursery rhymes for Tiasal/Deirdre:
What is Tiasal made of?
What is Tiasal made of?
Purple and green
and small fangs that gleam
That's what Tiasal is made of.
What's li'l Deirdre made of?
What's li'l Deirdre made of?
Mirrors broke and
phantoms in smoke
that's what li'l Deirdre's made of...Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2010-03-16, 02:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
- Scotland
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
They'll Never Know
Hopefully this link works...
Not entirely happy with the timing but it gives you an idea.Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.
Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.
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2010-03-16, 02:57 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
-
2010-03-16, 02:59 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
- Scotland
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.
Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.
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2010-03-16, 03:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
I can't get it either. Sorry.
There was an assembly in school today, and I'm sure that I can use it in a crack pairing. (I dunno if it would be board-safe to post what the assembly was about in detail though, so I'll put it...Somewhere else.)My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2010-03-16, 03:16 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2008
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- Scotland
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Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
I'll post it somewhere else. I'll let you know when I have.
Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.
Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.
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2010-03-16, 03:18 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
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- Gothenburg, Sweden
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Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2010-03-16, 03:22 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell