LGBTAIitP #44: Quick, We Need To Vote A New Title!

[SiuiS]

Hello, hello, welcome, one and all, to the forty-fourth iteration of our thread, the humble LGBTAI in the playground thread!

The AI is for All-Inclusive, because we have only so much space but everyone, regardless of orientation, direction, letter, acronym or chosen astrological symbol is welcome here! Also, because Rawhide and his fellow synthetic intelligences are welcome, both because we love and respect them and because, since they ARE the system, we can't keep them out


We do, unfortunately, have a few rules. We are not an anarchical state! Or, a state at all, but shush.

1. We are primarily a support thread.
This means that the primary focus should be in helping people here feel better; about themselves, about their lives, about their problems. We are also an education thread, but when helping someone learn involves not supporting, we will default to support - Mostly. We are only mostly human, after all.

2. If you want answers to Trigger topics, spoiler-box or privately ask them.
This relates to the above. If you want to ask questions debate, and your responses, or a side response, or something involves not being supportive/active antagonism, spoiler it and LABEL YOUR SPOILERS CLEARLY.

Triggery topics will be listed here, when I can get them straight. (hahaha straight)

3. Avoid discussing Politics or Religion.
It doesn't matter how much these two topics intersect with our forum topic, they are verboten. Sometimes, hints are... Looked over, such as "man, in my countery being gay sucks", but detail is right out, and even that could be considered willful disregard. Be Careful. As the moderators themselves often say, if you aren't sure, Don't.

4. Do not Discuss Moral Justification.
No one here is going to discuss whether or not it's Right" or "Okay" to be LGBTAEIOUsometimesY or anything else. It's not topical, it's not relevant. We are, and we are here to cope with that and with the stresses it causes.
And no, my joking acronym doesn't constitute considering this rule less important.

5. Do Not Post Sexually Explicit Content.
It's against forum rules, it's against decorum, and it will get us shut down pretty fast. What adults do behind closed doors is cool, and allusion is fine. Anything that could involve a diagram, though? No.

6. Again, Spoiler-box [Trigger] topics.
This gets a second mention for it's more specific uses. If someone, even just that one individual person, has a problem with a topic, because it stirs demons best left in their pit, Do. Not. Bring. It. Up. Publically. Use a spoilerbox, and think carefully about whether this is the place to broach the topic at all.

This particular rule includes casual and glorified violence, corporal punishment, and in-relationship rape. Which I would hope fell under politics and sex enough they wouldn't come up anyway, but hey.

Private Consultation.

Due to past fall-out, we now have a lsit of people whoa re willing and able to discuss topics that may not be thread-appropriate but are still topical. They can be reached by Personal Message (PM), thought they may not respond immediately, or may be on sabbatical.

Spoiler: Topical Consultants

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Name: Especially familiar with the topic(s) of
KenderWizard: General/basics, gender and feminism, bisexuality
Musashi: General/basics, asexuality/demisexuality, depression
noparlpf: General/basics, asexuality, greysexuality, biology, Skype
Lea Plath: Genderfluidity
Lycunadari: Genderqueer and agendered
Eldest: General/basics, bisexuality, polyamory, pansexuality will Skype(voice if needed, no video)
HMS Sophia: Trans stuff (esp hormones)
Lix Lorn: General/basics
Tanail: Trans stuff (esp emotional issues), Skype(no voice or video, however)
Absol197: Gender identity issues
Warkitty: Academic/technical discussions
Lentrax: General/basics, depression, bullying
Wormwood74: Transgender legal issues, transgender outside contacts
Astrella: GSRM rights, feminism, trans stuff, Skype
Asteron Questar: Relationships, depression
Mystic Muse: Skype-y goodness.
Socratov: Skype-ness
Chess435: Skype
Irish Musician: PM, Rants/Venting
Metditto: PM/Skype for L, T, GQ, BDSM(Off-thread or Spoiler Triggered), demisexual, feminism, therapy, depression, dissociative identities
inuyasha: Shoulder on which to cry, someone to listen
Partysan: PM/Skype, polyamory, pansexuality, BDSM(Off-thread or Spoiler Triggered), Rants/Venting
TaiLiu: General Transgender information, transphobia.

Some people are also willing to talk off-board, through Skype or email or other means; this is especially useful if your question involves board-forbidden topics such as religion or politics. Also, we can't (and ethically shouldn't!) give medical advice. If you need medical advice, please see a professional!

And as a parting note, I will say that even though moderators do not read PMs, they are still part of the forum and still subject to forums rules. Non-allowed topics and discussion should NOT be conducted via PM.


Previous Incarnations

Like the Glorious and Unconquered Sun, we have risen, lived, died, and risen anew, with many faces, many voices, many hearts. In this past, much can be found, both good, and bad, should one be brave or perhaps, foolish, enough to seek it.

Spoiler: Past Threads

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1. LGBT people in the playground
   
2. LGBT people in the playground - part II
   
3. LGBTitp - part III
   
4. LGBTitp 4: We are a family?
   
5. LGBTitp - Part Five
   
6. LGBTitp - Part Six
   
7. LGBTitp - Part Seven
   
8. LGBTitp - Part Eight
   
9. LGBTitp - Part Nine
   
10. LGBTAitp - Part Ten
    
11. LGBTAitp - Part Eleven
    
12. LGBTAitp - Part Twelve
    
13. LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
    
14. LGBTAitp - Part Fourteen
    
15. LGBTAitp - Part Fifteen
    
16. LGBTAitp - Part Sixteen
    
17. LGBTAitp - Part Seventeen
    
18. LGBTAitp - Part Eighteen!
    
19. LGBTAitp - Part Nineteen
    
20. LGBTAitp - Part Twenty - Critical Hit!
    
21. LGBTAitp - Part Twenty-One - BLACKJACK!
    
22. LGBTAitP Part 22: The Best There Is
    
23. LGBTAitP Part 23: Et tu, ~Bianca?
    
24. LGBTAitP: Alphabet Soup-with 24 different Vitamins!
    
25. LGBTAitP part 25: Doing Away With Subtitles
    
26. LGBTAitP 26: No Time For Snappy Titles
    
27. LGBTAitP 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
    
28. LGBTAitP #28: Come Taste the Rainbow!
    
29. LGBTAitP #29: The Rainbow Outreach Program
    
30. LGBTAitP 30: Free Cuddles (Enquire Within)
    
31. LGBTAitP #31: Cuddles Are On Back Order. Have Some Snuggles!
    
32. LGBTAitp #32: The Great Plushie Invasion!
    
33. LGBTAitp #33: The Thread at the End of the Rainbow!
    
34. LGTAitP #34: <3!!
    
35. LGBTAitp #35: What Midlife Crisis? :3
    
36. LGBTAitp #36: May Contain Bites!
    
37. LGBTAitP #37: Once upon a time...
    
38. LGBTAitP #38: Once More With Feeling!!
    
39. LGBTAitP #38: Making Your Way in the World Today....
    
40. LGBTAitP #40: Technicolour Partyboat
    
41. LGBTAitp #41 - Imprecise Terminology Supercenter
    
42. LGBTAitp #42: Better Than Skittles/The Meaning of Life!
    
43. LGBTAitp #43 [Insert snappy subtitle here]
    
44. LGBTAIitP #44: Quick, We Need To Vote A New Title!
    
45. [thread=XBCVXB]LGBTAIitP #45: Rainbow Anarchy[/thread]
    

And, for reference, here is a list of commonly used words and definitions by our community. Please understand that this list is currently undergoing construction right now. Any contributions to the list are appreciated.

Spoiler

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Lagerbeta: A fine brewski to be drunk by queers and allies.

LGBT: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans*

Trans*: Transsexual and Transgender, with the asterisk denoting that the trans- prefix could be followed by any number of appropriate words. Short hand.

LGBTA: LGBT+Asexual/Allies

QUILTBAG:
Q - Queer and Questioning
U - Unidentified
I - Intersex
L - Lesbian
T - Transgender, Transexual
B - Bisexual
A - Asexual
G - Gay, Genderqueer

Allies: Hetereosexual-Cisgender people who support equality for sexual, gender, and romantic minorities.

Male-to-Female (MtF): Someone who was assigned male at birth, but is female. (AKA: trans woman)

Female-to-Male (FtM): Someone who was assigned female at birth, but is male. (AKA: trans man)

Genderqueer (GQ): Someone who is not of a binary gender; someone who is not male or female.

Cisgender (CG): Somebody whose gender and sex align.

Transgender/Transsexual: Two words commonly used in reference to a person whose sex(body) and gender(mind) are at odds or do not match. Transsexual can also be used to refer specifically to someone who desires to change their physical traits to align with their gender.

HRT: Hormone replacement therapy. MtF's take more progestrogens and oestrogens and FtM's take more testosterone (I think?)

SRS: Sex Reassignment Surgery: Surgery to replace/transform a vagina into a penis, or vice versa depending on direction. Mastectomies or plastic surgery may be used on breasts.

FFS: Facial Feminization Surgery: Surgery to reduce chin/nose/cheekbones. Uncommon.

AFAB/AMAB: Assigned Female/Male at Birth

FAAB/MAAB: Female/Male Assigned at Birth.

Man: A cisman or transman. Male.

Woman: A ciswoman or transwoman. Female.

Androgyne: Gender Identity with male and female aspects.

Genderfluid: Someone who fluctuates between different genders.

Agendered: Someone who lacks a gender.

Third-gendered: Someone who fits in a local society's third gender, usually male performing female tasks, occasionally vice versa.

Masculine: Something generally associated with men.

Feminine: Something generally associated with women.

Lesbian: A woman who is attracted to women.

Gay: A man who is attracted to men.

Homosexual: A person who is attracted to members of their gender.

Heterosexual: A person who is attracted to members of the opposite gender.

Androsexual: A person who is attracted to men.

Gynosexual: A person who is attracted to women.

Bisexual: Complicated, but to use noparlpf definition: 1. attracted to two genders; 2. attracted to one's own gender and another gender; 3. attracted to various genders; 4. attracted to people regardless of gender; 5. ask the person who says they're bi what exactly they mean by that. See also Pansexual

Pansexual: A person who is attracted to people regardless of gender. See also Bisexual

Asexual: A person who does not feel any/some sexual attraction.

Demisexual: A person who is sexually attracted to someone(s) they have formed an intense emotional relationship with.

Polyamorous: A person who is interested in a relationship with more than one person.

Sexual Orientation: How one identifies who they are attracted to.

Gender Identity: How one feels inside society's idea of "man, woman, or other". (GI)

Gender Expression: How one expresses their GI to society. (GE)

Significant Other(s): Person you are in a relationship with. (SO)

Webcomics that touch on... Well, everything related to the thread.

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Venus Envy. Long dead webcomic. The creator has chosen not to continue it and move forward in life.
Rain. A story of a MtF girl in high school.
Khaos Komix.As the creator puts it(from his site): "A complete GLBTWTFBBQ comic about gender and sexuality. (Trigger warnings for EVERYTHING and nothing is safe for work.)"
Always Raining Here. "Adrian is heartsick, Carter is horny. This is a story about their misadventures as awkward teenagers as they fumble through unrequited romances."
Tripping over you.An awkward blind date leads to better options.
Questionable Content. The LGBTA characters are well done, and not stereotypes.
What's normal anyway. An FtM webcomic. Seems decent so far.
Princess. A webcomic.
Twokinds. Keveak: "It generally portrays GRSM matters positively and is quite a nice tale overall."
Misfile The Rose Dragon: "Ash is a young boy who, as a result of a screw-up in Heaven, gets stuck in a girl's body in a life he doesn't recognize, and has to deal with the changes and challenges of his new body while trying to get back his old life. Supernatural hijinks and car racing are involved."
I know I missed a few webcomics, and if anyone finds more, feel free to PM them to me with a brief description, and I will add them.

The Brand New LGBTA Arts & Crafts Thread!



This will be made beautiful in time, like a growing flower, a rich wine, or, date I say, like we ourselves? Though one must never think that they are not sufficient as they are. Base 0 is important! Let the revelries begin! And also the continued debates! XD

[Sabeki]

Mmm, that new thread smell!!! I love that smell.

[Durmatagno]

I vote for Rainbow Anarchy because no reason other than I couldn't think of anything else.

*smells the new thread*

Strangely peachy today.

What?

[Jaycemonde]

It smells like a clean hotel room.

I also vote for Rainbow Anarchy, by the way, just 'cause the mental image is hilarious.

[noparlpf]

"Quick, We Need To Vote A New Title!" has my vote.

[Chess435]

Yay, new thread! I also like Rainbow Anarchy.

[Heliomance]

Quick, We Need To Vote A New Rainbow Anarchy!
Formerly Naked Dragon With Poor Eyesight Running Away From Pie

[Eldest]

I would take another look at the boilerplate, there, Siuis...
First sentance, specifically.

[Brazen Shield]

SiuiS has been told about the typo. >_> I was ignored.

[Astrella]

Fine. You win. I'm your bogeyman. All of our death rituals are undeniably and inarguably for the dead alone and the people involved in the obituary all deseve whatever horrible fate is in store for them as evil bigots.

That's not our point. Note that a lot of people who are mourning also aren't happy with trans people being misgendered at their death or queer relationships being denied and stuff like that. I'd be really upset if one of my trans friends got misgendered at their death.

[cavalieredraghi]

SiuiS has been told about the typo. >_> I was ignored.

that's kinda funny.

[Brazen Shield]

that's kinda funny.

Yeah, right? XD

Also, for posterity.

Spoiler: Selfie~

Show

I would also like to point out that I am not wearing makeup. >_>

[Jaycemonde]

That's not our point. Note that a lot of people who are mourning also aren't happy with trans people being misgendered at their death or queer relationships being denied and stuff like that. I'd be really upset if one of my trans friends got misgendered at their death.

This. Specifically, because that invalidates them as a person who had unique thoughts and feelings, and in death pushes them into the exact same box they'd spent their entire lives trying to escape. Funerals and wakes are all meant for the living to pay their respects to the dead, so the least they could do is show that goddamn respect.

[Heliomance]

Sigh. I guess it's true that you never hear anything good about yourself by eavesdropping.

Just overheard mum on the phone to someone - don't know who but I'm guessing either her mother or her closest friend - talking about our argument. She still doesn't understand why it was hurtful, why I took it harder than any of my siblings would have. And as for my point about pregnancy, she was saying things like "no, she's not expressed any interest in it before, except briefly last year she was talking about uterus transplants starting to happen, and now I'm supposed to be all 'poor hard-done-by Tam, never going to have a baby'", and "She's becoming a girl, she's eventually going to be surgically altered into being a girl. That wouldn't have been possible a hundred years ago, don't tell me she's so unfortunate because she can't get pregnant."

I would dearly love to bear a child some day. If the chance came along, and I was in a stable and long term relationship, I would jump at it with barely a second thought. But I haven't set my sights on it as a goal, because it's not possible. Why set myself up for disappointment by aiming at the unattainable? That doesn't mean I don't want it, it just means I haven't talked to her about it because there's no point in entertaining fantasies. Bah.

[Jaycemonde]

Again, for what it's worth, you've got my empathy there. As much as children (and the idea of having them) scares the **** out of me, I just feel...incomplete, like the whole thing behind transitioning is pointless in a way, because I won't ever have that chance to begin with. Granted, sometimes I see it as a huge advantage for me--not having to worry about periods or complications from pregnancies--but then I feel like an ******* because of the "you're not a real woman if you don't want that/can't do it" rhetoric getting to me. As if all women automatically want kids, and someone who's born female automatically wants to be a guy because they don't. ****ing hypocrisy.

[TaiLiu]

Yeah, right? XD

Also, for posterity.

Spoiler: Selfie~

Show

I would also like to point out that I am not wearing makeup. >_>

Nice! Notably, I don't this SiuiS posted her photo.

Sigh. I guess it's true that you never hear anything good about yourself by eavesdropping.

Just overheard mum on the phone to someone - don't know who but I'm guessing either her mother or her closest friend - talking about our argument. She still doesn't understand why it was hurtful, why I took it harder than any of my siblings would have. And as for my point about pregnancy, she was saying things like "no, she's not expressed any interest in it before, except briefly last year she was talking about uterus transplants starting to happen, and now I'm supposed to be all 'poor hard-done-by Tam, never going to have a baby'", and "She's becoming a girl, she's eventually going to be surgically altered into being a girl. That wouldn't have been possible a hundred years ago, don't tell me she's so unfortunate because she can't get pregnant."

I would dearly love to bear a child some day. If the chance came along, and I was in a stable and long term relationship, I would jump at it with barely a second thought. But I haven't set my sights on it as a goal, because it's not possible. Why set myself up for disappointment by aiming at the unattainable? That doesn't mean I don't want it, it just means I haven't talked to her about it because there's no point in entertaining fantasies. Bah.

Yikes. You have my sympathises.

[QueerKitty]

I really wish I could give birth. I've cried to sleep several times considering it too long.

[TaiLiu]

I really wish I could give birth. I've cried to sleep several times considering it too long.

You have my sympathies too, comrade QueerKitty.

[Brazen Shield]

Don't hold your breath waiting for Si to post a picture.
>_> Something about evil and cameras stealing souls...

[TaiLiu]

Don't hold your breath waiting for Si to post a picture.
>_> Something about evil and cameras stealing souls...

Oh? Well, I can't say I blame her - cameras can be quite dangerous!

Also, what happened to your signature?

[Brazen Shield]

Oh? Well, I can't say I blame her - cameras can be quite dangerous!

Also, what happened to your signature?

Oh! It's really long and relationship-y and colorful so I don't post it often. Sometimes it also makes the last thing I say look like it is a part of it and that last thing is sometimes missed.
I also forgot to tell the forum not to include it a lot, so most of my edits are "'Shoot! Get rid of the siggy!"

[Miriel]

Mine is another vote for Rainbow Anarchy.

Updates: Came out to another friend. Best decision ever. She was extraordinarily sweet and supportive and everything. She said... too many good things for my registering them. Her first reaction was sheer sweetness, not shock or anything like that. She said that she was happy for me, that I was strong and courageous to do this, that I could count on her, and many other things like that. And we hugged. All the good things I could expect happened, as well as many others that I didn't. She promised to lend me make-up for doing my eyes, because she can't accompany me to buy some before my appointment on Thursday.

She ordered me a start up make-up kit. Adressed to my real name. I cried. I really did. I never cry, normally, and yet I did.



This being absurdly good conditionning... maybe I could even come out to most people by next week?

Otherwise... For the past three days, I've always presented as female. I'm not saying I presented as female all day long, but I wore female clothes and make-up for hours at a time outside the house (buying groceries, going at the library, shopping, etc.). Yesterday, I even was on campus as female, even though I went only to places where no one knows me.

I bought bras yesterday, more specifically push-up bras, to create the illusion that I actually have (very small) breast. It's surprisingly effective. Well, to me at least.

Got misgendered at the library counter, but whatever. Today, I don't care.

Mrr, just had a somewhat draining not-quite-argument with mum.

Spoiler

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A couple of things have gone wrong that have resulted in our plans for tomorrow being thrown up in the air. Mum asked why I wasn't worrying about it, and I said that because I couldn't do anything to affect the outcome, worrying was unproductive, so I wasn't. Her response to that was "You're not female."

Half an hour later, I understand that it wasn't meant maliciously. She says she'd have said the exact same thing to either of my sisters if they'd displayed the same ability, or reversed to my dad or my brother if they'd displayed a stereotypically female skill. But it hurt, and when I told her it hurt she didn't understand why. She tried to explain herself, and why I shouldn't take it badly, and it just sounded like a justification. All I wanted was for her to understand that she'd hurt me, and apologise. I didn't care that she hadn't meant it badly. I didn't care why she said it. I just wanted an acknowledgement that it had hurt.

When I pointed out to her that her status and my sisters' status as female is not in question, and mine is, I was treated to a rant about how I had no idea how hard it was to not be able to get pregnant for years, of not being able to breastfeed, of hearing people say "all women can breastfeed". Pointing out that someday I'll know all those heartaches intimately was not received well.

Never in my life before have I wished that I couldn't do something. Now I do.

*hug*

I understand what you feel. I don't have anything more to say.

In any case, transgender or not, this kind of comment is sexist.

[TaiLiu]

Oh! It's really long and relationship-y and colorful so I don't post it often. Sometimes it also makes the last thing I say look like it is a part of it and that last thing is sometimes missed.
I also forgot to tell the forum not to include it a lot, so most of my edits are "'Shoot! Get rid of the siggy!"

Oh, I see! Let me try it...

[cavalieredraghi]

Sigh. I guess it's true that you never hear anything good about yourself by eavesdropping.

Just overheard mum on the phone to someone - don't know who but I'm guessing either her mother or her closest friend - talking about our argument. She still doesn't understand why it was hurtful, why I took it harder than any of my siblings would have. And as for my point about pregnancy, she was saying things like "no, she's not expressed any interest in it before, except briefly last year she was talking about uterus transplants starting to happen, and now I'm supposed to be all 'poor hard-done-by Tam, never going to have a baby'", and "She's becoming a girl, she's eventually going to be surgically altered into being a girl. That wouldn't have been possible a hundred years ago, don't tell me she's so unfortunate because she can't get pregnant."

I would dearly love to bear a child some day. If the chance came along, and I was in a stable and long term relationship, I would jump at it with barely a second thought. But I haven't set my sights on it as a goal, because it's not possible. Why set myself up for disappointment by aiming at the unattainable? That doesn't mean I don't want it, it just means I haven't talked to her about it because there's no point in entertaining fantasies. Bah.

I really wish I could give birth. I've cried to sleep several times considering it too long.

I am so sorry you two, if you ever wish to just talk to some one you can always PM me. and once I get Skype and a camera that to. you have my love. *hugs*

Don't hold your breath waiting for Si to post a picture.
>_> Something about evil and cameras stealing souls...

damn and here I was hoping to see a Pic of you two together.

[Brazen Shield]

damn and here I was hoping to see a Pic of you two together.

Ah, well see. That wouldn't work either >~<
Si has this sixth sense about when I'm taking a selfie. I don't do it often, but Si just knows. Getting the brat in a picture with me has become almost a game.
Also.... The only picture I have of us, my breasts are bigger than anything else in the picture. It's super embarrassing.

[cavalieredraghi]

it will happen one day. and then you will have captured Si's soul MUHAHAHAHAHA. that's my evil laugh.

[Eldest]

Yeah, right? XD

Also, for posterity.

Spoiler: Selfie~

Show

I would also like to point out that I am not wearing makeup. >_>

Siuis!
You are lucky.

[Miriel]

Also, for posterity.

Spoiler: Selfie~

Show

I would also like to point out that I am not wearing makeup. >_>

Looks good!

[Brazen Shield]

it will happen one day. and then you will have captured Si's soul MUHAHAHAHAHA. that's my evil laugh.

I like it ~

SiuiS!
You are lucky.

*BLUSH*
To be fair, SiuiS is just as attractive. Camera-shy, but very pretty.
<3

Looks good!

Thank you, very much. I'm working on learning the art of makeup though. My mother was never one to wear it and thus neither was I.

[TaiLiu]

Mine is another vote for Rainbow Anarchy.

Updates: Came out to another friend. Best decision ever. She was extraordinarily sweet and supportive and everything. She said... too many good things for my registering them. Her first reaction was sheer sweetness, not shock or anything like that. She said that she was happy for me, that I was strong and courageous to do this, that I could count on her, and many other things like that. And we hugged. All the good things I could expect happened, as well as many others that I didn't. She promised to lend me make-up for doing my eyes, because she can't accompany me to buy some before my appointment on Thursday.

She ordered me a start up make-up kit. Adressed to my real name. I cried. I really did. I never cry, normally, and yet I did.



This being absurdly good conditionning... maybe I could even come out to most people by next week?

Otherwise... For the past three days, I've always presented as female. I'm not saying I presented as female all day long, but I wore female clothes and make-up for hours at a time outside the house (buying groceries, going at the library, shopping, etc.). Yesterday, I even was on campus as female, even though I went only to places where no one knows me.

I bought bras yesterday, more specifically push-up bras, to create the illusion that I actually have (very small) breast. It's surprisingly effective. Well, to me at least.

Got misgendered at the library counter, but whatever. Today, I don't care.

Ah! You are taking leaps and bounds, comrade!

To be fair, SiuiS is just as attractive. Camera-shy, but very pretty.
<3

Also, very green!