Ultimate Kaos III: In Soviet Russia, Kaos Ultimates YOU! [GAME ON!]

[TFT]

I'm dead. Can I have an ending?

[Allysian]

.....really, Festy. Really?

[Mustiado]

*haunts the thread in a ghooooossstttllllyyyy manner*

[Murska]

We want ending! We want ending!

[Uncle Festy]

Look, I just got back from a 3 week semi-hiatus. What do you guys want from me?

[happyturtle]

Murska, you really should try explaining your point of view a little more concisely. Festy is having trouble making it out!

[Shadowcaller]

Look, I just got back from a 3 week semi-hiatus. What do you guys want from me?

I dunno... an update maybe?

[Blue Ghost]

Hey, the outside world would like to see this ending as well.

[Recaiden]

Look, I just got back from a 3 week semi-hiatus. What do you guys want from me?

An ending. A great ending. Immediately if not sooner. And a repost of every narration.

[Hyozo]

Uncle Festy needs to post an ending.

[Lamech]

Is the ending there is none? Like the sopranos (did not watch) or SG-1. (No paying for a movie doesn't count.)

[Uncle Festy]

Murska, you really should try explaining your point of view a little more concisely. Festy is having trouble making it out!

…
That was totally intentional. Yep. >.>

Anyways, gonna get back to work on this.
… now.
… er, now.
… now. Definitely.
…
Give me a minute…

[Recaiden]

Festy. . . Do we need to do this the hard way?

[Hell Puppi]

*pokes thread*

Now I want to know, dangit.

[Mordokai]

Down with fake cheese empress... again.

[Uncle Festy]

Ok, I'm calling the complicated part off.
My original plan was to make a video and post it on youtube for the ending narration, but my original plan didn't work, and my eventual plan was more complex then I expected, and I spent too much time working on one part when several others needed my attention more, and I got stressed and put it off and… well, it's really gotten to be a mess and I think I need to call it quits.
…
The upshot of all this is that, if there's no video, I can post an ending narration within the week.

[happyturtle]

Huzzah!

*does a happy dance*

[Allysian]

*sigh* Okay. Fine. Yay!!!

[Recaiden]

Really?

There needs to be a way to make that bigger.

[UncleWolf]

Geez, here I am, gone all summer, expecting to see the awesome ending narration to this...

*shakes head*

[Uncle Festy]

Wolfbane! You're back!
*tackleglomps*
Well, now I can get started for real.

[Uncle Festy]

“At last, it ends. Kaos reigns supreme. Join me, disciples of Kaos, and together we will destroy all that is, was, and will be!”
The remaining villagers cheer – until Vampiric cuts in. “Wait… what was that about ending the world?”
“Well, that’s the ultimate goal of entropy, isn’t it? Reducing everything that there is, was, or will be to free-floating molecules? That’s the definition of Kaos.”
“… but that’s no fun!” says Murska.
“Fun? When did I ever imply that you would be enjoying yourselves? I’m in it for the Kaos, and you can all go have your “fun” while I go destroy the universe!”
The seven remaining players look at each other. Then, as one, they shout, “Charge!” and run at Festy.
“You dare battle a god? Fools.” Festy raises his hand, and globs of incredibly sticky whipped cream fly at the seven, knocking them to the ground… or it would have, if Vampiric hadn’t pulled out a torch, reducing the cream to ash. “Burn the witch!” he shouts, charging forward with torch outstretched –
“KAOS TELEPORT!” shouts Festy, disappearing.

All Kaos magic is highly unpredictable. The more powerful the spell, the more kaotic the results will be. So if you teleport with Kaos, there’s no telling where you’ll end up…

Festy looked around the lifeless ground and the massive, imposing tower. “Not bad. Got back to my tower on the first try.” He rubs his hands together, cackling. “Now, back to destroying the world. Undead army, assemble!” Massive legions of zombies, ghouls, and skeletons pour out of the tower. Below, thousands of skeletal foot soldiers and colossal siege zombies are lead by wizard commanders, while above, aerial squadrons hover under the command of a –
Festy freezes. “Wait, I don’t recognize that general…”
But he notices too late. “It’s an imposter! Get him!” cries Selrahc, and the winged zombie hippo leads the charge of Festy’s entire army –
“Damn. Kaos Teleport,” he mutters, vanishing in a puff of DVDs.

Festy reappears in a dark cabin. He feels around silently, finding… an eyepatch?
Moments later, the god of Kaos strides out on deck in full pirate regalia. “Arr!” he cries, waving his cutlass. “This is what I’m talking about!”
“Hey, I don’t recognize you. Who are you?” asks a voice from behind Festy at around knee-hight. The zombie spins around, but no one’s there. “Oh, you’re that Kaos guy, aren’t you? I should probably kill you or something,” comes the voice, once again behind him.
Festy spins around yet again – only to feel three rapid punches in the back, knocking him over. “The heck?” he mutters. “A pirate monk? – oh, craOW!” he shouts, as a peg leg smacks him upside the head a couple times. “Stop it, dam – OW – mit! Kaos – OW! – teleport!”

Festy sits in a waiting room, covered in bruises and hiding his deathly face behind a magazine. “Ok,” he mutters. “I can recoup here…”
“Uncle Festy? The doctor is ready for you,” calls the receptionist. Festy steps inside the office gratefully.
“Ok, if you’ll just lie down on the table,” says a voice from behind a curtain.
Festy obliges, and he suddenly feels cuffs snap over his limbs. “What’s going on here? Who are you?”
“Me?” asks the porcelain tub, stepping forward. “My name is Doctor Bath. Now, if you’ll just lie still, we’ve got an amputation or four to complete.” He reaches down, picks up and activates the chainsaw, and turns back to Festy –
“Oh me. Kaos Teleport!” he shouts, and is replaced with a mannequin.

“Ok, ok,” mutters Festy. “Back in a werewolf game. They’re all but made of chaos. I’ve got teammates, now. I’ll be safe here.”
“Uncle Festy’s a wolf.”
“I point at Uncle Festy.”
“Uncle Festy hasn’t finished the Kaos ending scene yet! Let’s lynch him!”
“Get Festy!”
The god of Kaos backs up against a wall. “Hey, where’d this bandwagon come from? I’m not a wolf! Come on, someone help me!”
“Back off, guys. I’ll vouch for him.” Suddenly Murska stands in front of Festy, waving back the quickly dispersing mob.
“Thanks,” says Festy, his face still wracked in fear. “But… why’d you stop them?”
“So I could save you for myself.” Murska draws back his knife –
“Kaos teleport!”

“What is this place?” mutters Festy, as he reappears in a strange-looking street. Above, the sun pushes away clouds with a giant broom. A man flies in on a magic carpet through a door that has been left wide open. And the air tastes like chocolate.
Festy wanders the streets in bewilderment. Suddenly, someone taps him on the shoulder. “Excuse me, sir, could you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?”
Festy jerks back in shock. “That’s where I am? So where’s –”
“HELLO COOKIE!” rumbles a massive, furry blue humanoid.
“Oh god it’s the cookie monster!” shouts Festy. He spins around and dashes away, but too late, as the cookie monster grabs him and takes a huge bite –
“KAOS TELEPORT KAOS TELEPORT KAOS TELE –”

Festy collapses onto his hands and knees, breathing hard. “Ok,” he mutters, looking around. “Where’d I end up this time?”
He sees no one, but voices come seemingly from nowhere.
“So, I herd u leik mudkipz?”
“GTFO!”
“Long cat is loooong.”
“U r likly 2 be eetin by a gru.”
“Lololololo.”
Festy’s gaze darts around, looking for the source of the voices… until he looks up. And sees the four-leaf emblem.
“Oh, shi –”
“Happy turtle is happy. BLAAARGH!”
And thus, Uncle Festy was Shoop Da Wooped in the face.

Oh, and one more thing about Kaos magic. Not only is it unpredictable, it’s incredibly hard to control. The smallest lapse in concentration can lead to all of the spells just ending. And being Lazored is not a SMALL lapse in concentration.

Festy snapped through the teleportations. Being bit by the cookie monster. Being backstabbed by Murska. Being chainsawed by a bathtub. Being smacked by a monk who’s also a pirate. Being crushed by a zombie hippo. And finally, the beaten, bloody corpse of Festy collapses in front of Vampiric… who finishes shoving the torch into the God of Kaos.

“Nice job!” says Piratemonk, high-fiving Vampiric and Dallas. Meanwhile, Dr. Bath, Murska, and Selrahc cheer at the show. And Mustiado –
“Wait,” says Dallas. “Where’s Mustiado?”
The six look around, but Mustiado is nowhere to be found.
“Awesome!” says Vampiric. “That means there’s no more witches!”
“But… that also means we outnumber the rest of the players,” says Murska.
The two groups – Murska, Selrahc, and Bath on one side, Vampiric, Piratemonk, and DD the Cookiemonster on the other – stare at each other. Then Vampiric shrugs. “Oh well, I guess that means we all win. Sweet! Let’s go roast some marshmallows!”

Summary

Spoiler

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Uncle Festy was killed. He was the God of Kaos.
Mustiado completed his win condition and left the game.
With Festy and Mustiado gone, the Witchhunters removed all the Wizards, and the Creepy Creatures outnumbered the remaining players simultaneously. Thus, both groups won.
Congratulations to Darkcomet and Mustiado for being the primary winners of Ultimate Kaos III! Congratulations to Murska, Dr. Bath, Selrahc, Piratemonk, Vampiric, and Dallas-Dakota for also winning!

Rules (to be formatted when I have more time)

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The Distinguished Cheese Eaters (3 members)
The Cheese Eaters are a group of professional cheese eaters (because I feel like it, that’s why!) who really don’t like all the chaos going on around them. Really now, someone might get hurt.
Win Condition
The cheese eaters win the game if all the night killers are eliminated, and begin the game knowing each other.
Roles
The Cheese Eater President is the leader of the distinguished organization, and is an expert at getting others to join. Every third night, the President can force a single player to join the cheese eaters. In addition, the president has considerable influence in the community. His votes count double.
The Cheese Eater Sophisticate is exceedingly well respected in the community, and is the face of the Cheese Eaters. His votes count triple.
The Cheese Eater Abjurer has been trained in abjuration in order to help stop the killings. He can void a single player each night
The Cheese Eater Recruits are the members recruited by the president, who gain his prestige by being inducted to the guild by him. Their votes count double.
The Necromancer (1 member)
The Necromancer has entered the town, and he won’t rest until zombies overrun it. Each night, he chooses a person to follow around. Should that person be killed, he will immediately jump in, zombifying him or her. Essentially, this works like a bane, except that if the bane succeeds, the saved person is recruited.
Win Condition
The Necromancer wins the game if he and his zombies outnumber the rest of the players.
The Enchanter (1 member)
The Enchanter is good at… convincing… people not to do stuff. Of course, that can go both ways. Each night, he chooses a person to follow around. Should that person be lynched the following day, he will enchant the lynch mob so that they stop, and then enchant their target to be under his control. Essentially, this works like a day bane, except that if the day bane succeeds, the saved person is recruited.
Win Condition
The Enchanter wins the game if he and his thralls outnumber the rest of the players.
The Witchhunters (4 members)
The Witchhunters are dedicated to the destruction of all witchcraft and wizardry in the land. They are masters at their craft, and will not rest until their mission is complete. The witchhunters start the game knowing each other.
Win Condition
The Witchhunters are victorious once they eliminate all the witches and wizards.
Roles
The High Witchhunter is in charge of the group – and in charge of lighting their targets on fire. Once every three nights, he chooses a player to light on fire. That player is killed.
The Witchhunter Spy is a master of disguise. Each night, he chooses a player and a name of a role (even if that role isn't in the game). The chosen player scries as the chosen role.
The Witchhunter Defender is a master of protecting others from baleful influences. Each night, he chooses a player. That player can't be night killed that night.
The Witchhunter Interferer is trained in the art of screwing other people up. Each night, he chooses a player. That player's night action is voided.
The Adventurers (4 members)
The Adventurers are just that – adventurers. Using their martial skill and divine powers, they want only two things – kill the monsters, and take their stuff. Whenever more then 50% of their members are pointing at the lynch victim, they steal that player's item once he dies.
Win Condition
The Adventurers win once they get enough loot. (Not sure how much yet, though.)
Roles
The Fighter is responsible for his teammates, and won't let them come to harm. Whenever one of the other Adventurers would be killed, his ability triggers, baning the kill with a 75% success rate. However, he can't keep up his vigil forever. Whenever the ability triggers, he has to wait three nights before it will activate again.
The Rogue is a sneaky guy who is really good at stealing stuff. Each night, he can use one of three abilities with a different cooldown time before he can use any ability again.
Loot a dead player's corpse (no cooldown).
Steal from a living player (one night cooldown).
Kill a player and steal his stuff (three night cooldown).
The Diviner sees what no others see. Each night, he can scry a player.
The Cleric is good at healing other's wounds. Each night, he can protect a single player from non nightkill actions. In addition, he can spend three nights ressurecting a player. The selected player must be dead at the beginning of the three nights, and must be chosen at that time.
The Killers (9 members)
The Killers don't start the game knowing each other. Each night, they send in a vote on who to kill. The catch is that they're on different teams! None of the killers can be killed by their own night action, and if one of the people voting for the target is on the target's team, they're put into contact. The three teams are:
The Butchers, a group of crazy killers, which include the following roles:
The Vicious Murderer is an unstoppable killer. Whenever he votes for the selected kill, the kill can't be baned.
The Entrails Reader can see through the mists and figure out who someone is. Each night, he can choose a player to scry.
The Deadly Trapsetter can make attacking someone a very bad idea. Each night, he chooses a player. If that player is night killed that night, they kill one person responsible.
The Shadowy Assassins, a group of secretive killers, which include the following roles:
The Evidence Extractor can make someone seem to be whatever he wants them to be. Whenever he votes for the selected kill, the player's role shows up as the role of his choice.
The Intelligence Guy can use cameras and satellites and stuff to figure out who people are. Each night, he can choose a player to scry.
The Master of Disguise can hide people's identities. Each night, he can disguise a player as whatever role he wants.
The Creepy Creatures are all freaky beings of myth who have banded together, which include the following roles:
The Alien From Spaaaace! can abduct people. Whenever he votes for the selected kill, the target is abducted.
The Psychic can read people's minds. Each night, he can chose a player to scry.
The Blob can engulf people, preventing them from doing anything. Each night, he can void a player.
The Mafia (3 members)
The Mafia are making you an offer you can't refuse… unless, you know, you want to. They've come to clear some debts, and won't leave until they're done.
Win Condition
The Mafia win when their five debtors are all dead.
Roles
The Don has some pretty nasty influence on the community. His points count triple. In addition, each night, he can choose a player that has received two effective votes from the Mafia since the last time the ability was used. That player is voided.
The Evoker likes lighting things on fire! Each night, he can choose a player that has received six effective votes since the last time the ability was used. That player is killed.
The Informant finds things finds out what's what. Each night, he can choose a player that has received four effective votes since the last time this ability was used. That player is scried.
Secondary Roles (AKA had in addition to regular roles)
The Lords of Kaos (3)
The three lords of Kaos want to destroy the integrity of the groups in the game. They win the game if the game ends with their team losing. The Kaos Lords start the game knowing each other.
Kaos Lord Illusionist chooses two players each night. They are each disguised as a random role.
Kaos Lord Transmuter chooses a player each night. That player's night action is changed to another random night action.
Kaos Lord Conjurer chooses a player each night. That player is affected by a random night action.
The Debtors (5) are in trouble with the Mafia, and they know it. They start the game knowing each other.
Items
LEWT! (no effect, there's three)
Sniper Rifle (kills one player with 75% success rate, randomly redistributed afterwards)
Crystal Ball (scries one player, randomly redistributed afterwards, there's two)
Cracked Crystal Ball (holder is told that they have the Crystal Ball, fool scries once, randomly redistributed afterwards)
Pariah's shield (redirects all actions from a target to the holder)
Ninja-o-matic 5000 (prevents death once, is randomly redistributed afterwards)
Hat of Disguise (disguises wearer for three nights, and then is randomly redistributed)
Freeze Ray (freezes a player once, preventing them from pointing or using actions for a day and a night, randomly redistributed afterwards)
Skeleton Key (allows two thieving attempts, and then is randomly redistributed)
Portable Hole (can be left out once at night to stop a night action targeting you and reveal the perpetrator to everyone, and then is randomly redistributed)

Roles

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High Witch Hunter – Vampiric
Witch Hunter Defender – Dallas Dakota
Witch Hunter Interferer – Pirate Monk
Rogue – Mustiado (Kaos Lord Transmuter)
Evidence Extractor – Iceddragons
The Alien From Spaaaace! – Sehlrac
The Psychic – Dr. Bath
The Blob – Murska
The Spy – Shadowcaller
The Don – Thes
The Evoker – Griever
Cleric – Doseki
Fighter – Fullbladder
Diviner – Recaiden
Cheese Eater President – Istari
Cheese Eater Sophisticate – Zar Peter
Cheese Eater Abjurer – Happyturtle
Vicious Murderer – Fin
Deadly Trapsetter – Detrevni
Entrails Reader – Emperor Demonking (Kaos Lord Conjurer)
Witch Hunter Spy – GAThraawn
Necromancer – Catseye
Enchanter – Allysian
Master of Disguise – Darkcomet (Kaos Lord Illusionist)
Intelligence Guy – Wolfbane

[Darkcomet]

And some of you didn't believe me...

[PirateMonk]

We won! Yay!

[Mustiado]

Hah, we won more.

[Darkcomet]

As They Of The Screwed Up Roles, no less!

[Murska]

Yay!

I'm too fuzzy to actually make sense of the rules...

Why did those two win more?

[Darkcomet]

I think it's because we won first, leading to everything else:

Festy and Mustiado were the last wizards. The deaths of all of the Adventurers and Shadow Assassins caused the latter to withdraw with a win as Festy died.

From there, the Witchhunters won as there were no more wizards, and the Creepy Creatures also won due to outnumbering everyone else.

[Uncle Festy]

I think it's because we won first, leading to everything else:

Festy and Mustiado were the last wizards. The deaths of all of the Adventurers and Shadow Assassins caused the latter to withdraw with a win as Festy died.

From there, the Witchhunters won as there were no more wizards, and the Creepy Creatures also won due to outnumbering everyone else.

Precisely.
Hm. Any feedback on roles, narrations, anything? Except the timing. We have about 45 posts on that.

EDIT: A quick clarification, though. The God of Kaos entering the game was originally a pure flavor idea. In fact, the results were identical to him not entering at all, as Mustiado was the last ACTUAL wizard, and the death of Iceddragons (the last Assassin) triggered his exit and the simultaneous victory of all the other remaining players.

[Darkcomet]

The main thing I'd say is TOO MANY VOIDERS, but I've said that already.

I'd have liked to test the Kaos Spray Attack more, though.

See, look at me. I'm the Master of Disguise/Illusionist, giving me a whopping three actions every night. The Transmuter, Mustiado, would randomize my effects, leading to, well... Kaos.

It's lucky for you living people ('cept Mustiado) I died when I did, or things would've gone absolutely nuts.

...

Nuts-er.