Admiral Euphoria's Random Banter Thread of Delusional Grandeur #124

[Player_Zero]

Get your own gimmick. Live your own life. I'm not your mother. You're not even my real dad.

P.S. My dad is your mum.

[Hannes]

But my son is your great-granddad, you know...

Especially since he hasn't even been born yet and won't for the next ten years at least.

[Kaelaroth]

Get your own gimmick. Live your own life. I'm not your mother. You're not even my real dad.

But if he was your mother and your real dad...
... It would certainly be intriguing.

[Player_Zero]

That wouldn't be intriguing, per se, more of a logical impossibility.

Also, my off-the-wall talking about nothing is mine. Stop with the weak parody. It's most vexing and I will sue.

[Kaelaroth]

Also, my off-the-wall talking about nothing is mine. Stop with the weak parody. It's most vexing and I will sue.

As if. I own all the lawyers in the world.
And all the British ones are merely extensions of whatever we're extensions of.

[Player_Zero]

I'll represent myself. Through costume and rude gestures!

[Dragonrider]

Because you're Mr. Zero, an' that's what Mr. Zero does!

[Thufir]

Actually, it's a little-known point of law that Zero can only be put on trial if you beat him at scrabble first.
So, basically, we're all screwed.

[Player_Zero]

I'm always lucky enough to get the best tiles, see. Do you know why? Because I am the son of The Lady herself.

Anyhow, time for nightnightiebedtimesleepygonap.

[Thufir]

But some day, SOME DAY I swear I'll... lose by less than 100 points!

[Nano]

I lost by something like three points the other day. I was so proud.

[Kaelaroth]

I can't sleep.
I want to sleep.
But I can't.

[TwoBitWriter]

Going to bed, good night everyone.

Wish in my heart it was Sunday. Drinking buttermilk all the week, and whisky on a Sunday...

[Sneak]

I am so bored.

I'm on vacation with my family at Cape Cod. I suppose I should be happy, but...eh. As soon as I got back from my exotic international traveling I was whisked away for another vacation. Quite honestly, I'd rather just be at home seeing my friends.

I'm here with my extended family, i.e. my direct family (minus my brother), my cousins (minus my older male cousin), my aunts, my uncles, and my grandmother. There are three cousin families here, including mine. But because my brother and my older male cousin both graduated from college and are working in Boston and New York respectively, neither of them could make it. So the remaining cousins are: two sisters and one brother, all siblings, the female cousin whose brother couldn't come, and me. All my female cousins are close in age (around 2 to 4 years older than I am), and have always been pretty close. The one male cousin present is around 4 years younger than I am. I'm 16. I like him, but at times, he's a little too much. I just feel like I have no one to hang out with.

I would try to go into town to meet people to befriend, since I'm here for two weeks, but, well...this is Cape Cod. I walked around town by myself earlier, and pretty much every single person that I could see was accompanied by their entire family. It's not like I can go to a bar to meet people, either. Plus, I'm not really the most outgoing of fellows in the first place.

Blargh.

Ok, venting time over.

[Cyrano]

But you've goooot... us! Yay.

Anyway, Cape Cod. Both of those words make me thing, water town. Water town makes me think, sailor. Sailor makes me thing, plen'y of alcohol and stories, and possibly an impromptu tattoo. Surely it can't be as bad as all that.

[Coidzor]

^: Hmm... Well, Sneaky Snakes. I recommend putting your younger cousin up to looking for where they dump the bodies, steal his watch, and let his lack of a sense of time lead everyone to get into a panic come dinner time...

Going to bed, good night everyone.

Wish in my heart it was Sunday. Drinking buttermilk all the week, and whisky on a Sunday...

Don't you live a fair ways too far north to enjoy the taste of a nice cool glass of buttermilk? Seriously, you're reminding me of my dad here. It's creepy-scary.

... This also reminds me of how my ex thought that buttermilk was... well, liquefied butter and so the most unhealthy and nasty thing ever.

[Recaiden]

Don't you live a fair ways too far north to enjoy the taste of a nice cool glass of buttermilk? Seriously, you're reminding me of my dad here. It's creepy-scary.

... This also reminds me of how my ex thought that buttermilk was... well, liquefied butter and so the most unhealthy and nasty thing ever.

You mean it isn't something like that? Oh. well I suppose it isn't what I thought it was then.

[Coidzor]

Buttermilk is what's left over after you churn the cream to get the vast majority of the milk fats and solids to fall out of the liquid and become butter.

So it's got maybe a little bit more fat than skim milk if I recall correctly.

Not sure why it's all... enzymy though.

It's got something else in it too or lacks something holding regular milk back, what with its use in baking.

[Alteran]

I lost by something like three points the other day. I was so proud.

I beat him once, I think. If I remember correctly, in fact, I beat him but still narrowly lost to you.

I could be mis-remembering, but I don't think I am. That makes it true!

[Sneak]

But you've goooot... us! Yay.

Yay! Dammit.

Anyway, Cape Cod. Both of those words make me thing, water town. Water town makes me think, sailor. Sailor makes me thing, plen'y of alcohol and stories, and possibly an impromptu tattoo. Surely it can't be as bad as all that.

It is a water town, just the kind with tourists and lots of white people instead of sailors and pirates.

Why do they even make water towns that don't have sailors and pirates?

[Cyrano]

Why do they even make water towns that don't have sailors and pirates?

Obviously a decision like this was made under the influence of alcohol. If you can't find a bar, try town hall.

There is no other way to enjoy this vacation, short of learning to enjoy fishing or learning to enjoy your family, neither of which seem like reasonable (nevermind possible) occurrences.

Don't worry Shades of Grey, I still love you.

[Coidzor]

For the crabs? Hmm...

Anything you can wantonly flaunt your possession of opposable thumbs to?

Failing that, overprotective fathers you can enrage with your debonair, care-free smile?

[DraPrime]

Dragonprime is happy this fine night. Why is Dragonprime happy? Because he finally managed to get a relationship going with a girl that he's had feelings for for the last few months. Overall, I feel excellent.

I am so bored.

Sneak, you're at Cape Cod. Go to the beach and swim or something. Seriously, that's what the Cape is for. Swimming at beaches. Not much more.

[Dallas-Dakota]

DragonP: Grats!

On the topic of Castlefest:
You were there as Haley, V and Thog. You know who you are.

Or it's possible that I'm muttering stuff to myself while you only read the comic, in that case, I'l see you on the Castlefest forums, hopefully.

[loopy]

Looks like I'm getting inked on Saturday! I'm a bit nervous. Anyone got any advice/whatever to calm me down?

[Phase]

Sneaker, the only way to resolve this is not to go to Cape Cod next time. Come on up to New York, or go off to California, or Disneyworld.

[Player_Zero]

Nah, go abroad next time. Some place with crystal oceans and dangerous jellyfish.

[Assassin89]

Nah, go abroad next time. Some place with crystal oceans and dangerous jellyfish.

You mean Australia? Why do you want Sneak to meet poisonous snakes, saltwater crocodiles, and other deadly animals?

[Player_Zero]

Because then he can fight them and become a real man.

[Dragonrider]

Sneakly: My whole family vacations at Cape Cod, too. Except my parents because they're the poor West Coast black sheep of the bunch and my dad's dreadlocks don't fit in too well in the kind of community they associate with.