Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

[Tira-chan]

This needs to be written.

Here you go!

Spoiler

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From my dad, I got my red hair, my quick fingers, and an unhealthy distrust for my fellow mankind. From my mom, I got lycanthropy - I'm a werecat. The Dexterity bonus and natural attack can really come in handy; the fear and loathing, not so much. So, you can probably get why I'm not exactly very open about it I haven't told anyone, not even V or Elan. I thought I would go my entire life without ever shifting again. That is, until he joined the party.

He was more beautiful than anyone I'd ever seen before, even Elan. His soft white fur, his sparkling blue eyes, that rich purr in his voice. I couldn't believe it. I'd told myself I would resist the urge; I would be a hundred percent human. And believe me, I tried. But he kept visiting me, every night, curling up at my feet... on my face... by my side... I just couldn't do it. And so, I decided to let my inner cat out of the bag.

[Silverraptor]

Here you go!

Spoiler

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From my dad, I got my red hair, my quick fingers, and an unhealthy distrust for my fellow mankind. From my mom, I got lycanthropy - I'm a werecat. The Dexterity bonus and natural attack can really come in handy; the fear and loathing, not so much. So, you can probably get why I'm not exactly very open about it I haven't told anyone, not even V or Elan. I thought I would go my entire life without ever shifting again. That is, until he joined the party.

He was more beautiful than anyone I'd ever seen before, even Elan. His soft white fur, his sparkling blue eyes, that rich purr in his voice. I couldn't believe it. I'd told myself I would resist the urge; I would be a hundred percent human. And believe me, I tried. But he kept visiting me, every night, curling up at my feet... on my face... by my side... I just couldn't do it. And so, I decided to let my inner cat out of the bag.

I think we have another good writer here.

[Tira-chan]

I think we have another good writer here.

Wow, thanks!

[CoffeeIncluded]

Hey, someone complimented your Spliced Kyrie story from earlier.

And I say we need more Squickie Awards. Too many good stories to narrow it down so much!

[The Dark Fiddler]

Here you go!

Spoiler

Show

From my dad, I got my red hair, my quick fingers, and an unhealthy distrust for my fellow mankind. From my mom, I got lycanthropy - I'm a werecat. The Dexterity bonus and natural attack can really come in handy; the fear and loathing, not so much. So, you can probably get why I'm not exactly very open about it I haven't told anyone, not even V or Elan. I thought I would go my entire life without ever shifting again. That is, until he joined the party.

He was more beautiful than anyone I'd ever seen before, even Elan. His soft white fur, his sparkling blue eyes, that rich purr in his voice. I couldn't believe it. I'd told myself I would resist the urge; I would be a hundred percent human. And believe me, I tried. But he kept visiting me, every night, curling up at my feet... on my face... by my side... I just couldn't do it. And so, I decided to let my inner cat out of the bag.

A bit short, but I enjoyed it.

And now I want to play a Were-cat...

[Raging Gene Ray]

And so, I decided to let my inner cat out of the bag.

Best description of werecattery ever.

Cat, I'm a werecat . And I meow meow meow and I dance dance dance!

[Silverraptor]

Hey, someone complimented your Spliced Kyrie story from earlier.

They did? What post?

[CoffeeIncluded]

By the way. Have any of you experineced this:when the comic updates are you surprised that some of the things that happend in the crack realm did not hapen there. Like the one were Inky got spliced and went after V. When the next comic was realeased I was shocked that Inky was not with the order. I was that close to post something about it. It was that good. Who made that one by the way.

This one!

[Cracklord]

Hey, someone complimented your Spliced Kyrie story from earlier.

And I say we need more Squickie Awards. Too many good stories to narrow it down so much!

How about we deal with the ones we've already got before we make things needlessly more complicated, eh?

[Dark Faun]

True.

She thinks these are simply normal dreams of hers and is wondering why she's having them.

"Damnit, Latent Bisexuality!"

[Raging Gene Ray]

"Damnit, Latent Bisexuality!"

More like BLATANT Bisexuality if you ask me.

[Asta Kask]

Also, I'm convinced that Haley hasn't been faithful to Elan ever. Though I'm not sure that's the Crack, it may just be the fact that she's been acting like a cat in heat in half the comics.

Oh come on! She's been acting like a 25-year old woman with a hot boyfriend. Frankly, this is getting ridiculous.

[Dark Faun]

The only times Haley behaved more sexually than she usually does (which is close to zero) were in #28 and #690; hardly half the comics.

Of course, in our minds, she's been sleeping with V since they met.

[Taekwondodo]

Yes Cracklord! Thank you!

RCxV feels canon to me... I keep wondering when V's gonna tell him then, oh wait it was a crack-fic!

[Silverraptor]

This one!

Okay. Cool.

[Zanaril]

Yes Cracklord! Thank you!

RCxV feels canon to me... I keep wondering when V's gonna tell him then, oh wait it was a crack-fic!

I can't read #677 without thinking that V's temper tantrum is mostly because she's already agitated after the unwanted news she got a short while ago.

[Dark Faun]

I thought V was agitated because Haley just told her he had knocked her up?

Thanks to all those who liked my story. I've no inspiration for more "walking in on fun" though.

[Taekwondodo]

(Gender-switched Windstriker) + (Gender-switched (Gender-switched Argent))?
Makes you wonder what the celestial mounts get up to when not with their riders...

[Dark Faun]

Makes you wonder what the celestial mounts get up to when not with their riders...

You make it too easy.

[Taekwondodo]

You make it too easy.

It's mine, back off!

EDIT: on a similar note Windstricker is male, isn't he?

[Dark Faun]

EDIT: on a similar note Windstricker is male, isn't he?

Well, the antique denizens of the House of Horrors certainly thought so...

[Zanaril]

Well, the antique denizens of the House of Horrors certainly thought so...

Who do you think you're calling antique?

You young whippersnapper.

[Dark Faun]

Sorry grandma.

Any idea about who should walk in on who doing what in my next story?

[Zanaril]

Sorry grandma.

Any idea about who should walk in on who doing what in my next story?

...Belkar?

Evan's spiked tentacles of - well I think you know the rest.
Aww, but I wanted to watch!


...Elan?

No Elan, we're just your imagination.
Okay! Hey Haley, I just saw two Vs, guess what they said!
That you just imagined them?
Yeah! How did you know?
I have my ways.


...Durkon?

By Thor's extendable hammer!


...Redcloak?

Why should I care, exactly? Why am I even here? I think you're confusing something you read elsewhere with being canon. And no, I don't want to know what it was. Also, Inflict Critical Wounds!


Ooh, how about Miko?

[Dark Faun]

Ah, but I don't want to reuse a similar scene. I want to remain original. So no pair of Vs.

And no, no triplets either.

Ooh, how about Miko?

...Do you wish to partake in a threesome?
What's a threesome?
We'll show you.

[Zanaril]

And no, no triplets either.

Aww.


Have V walk in on someone then?



Inky and Belkar?

OH DEAR ELVEN GODS

[The Dark Fiddler]

(Gender-switched Windstriker) + (Gender-switched (Gender-switched Argent))?
Makes you wonder what the celestial mounts get up to when not with their riders...

Argent wouldn't dare cheat on Crystal! (I bet you all forgot that story of mine.)

[Mystic Muse]

Hey Cracklord? did you ever get that Roy/Halely Fanfiction done? I don't really have the time to look right now.

[Dark Faun]

Last time I saw him mention it he said he still had to write it.

Aww.


Have V walk in on someone then?

Already done. The only idea I have left is Celia walking in on Roy and Julia but I've no inspiration for it.

Inky and Belkar?

OH DEAR ELVEN GODS

I don't like Belkar. And I like V too much to make him suffer that humiliation. Sure, I could have him walk in on Belkar forcing himself on Kyrie, but that's not a comedy anymore then, is it?

[Kyronea]

We really need some more slash here. Methinks something along the lines of Roy and Elan and male V.