Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

**Monzach** · 2009-12-23, 10:23 PM (ISO 8601)

Originally Posted by doliest

You'd best stay out of my territory; I'm the creepy old man around here despite being younger than most of you; YOU'RE NOT TAKING IT AWAY; I spent years studying creepy from my creepy friends.

I yield, I yield!

I mean, I've pretty much assumed the role of the dirty old man in many internet fora before, so I guess it'll be interesting to see how the other 99% live.

**doliest** · 2009-12-23, 10:23 PM (ISO 8601)

...Okay I'm screwed; I go to a ...I think it's currently listed as a 'Charter School' and we don't get anything this weird thanks to what 'little' standards the admittance board has and the fact that the current principle is a control freak.

Edit:Monzach, you understand then. I need to practice creepy if I'm ever going to overcome my best friend. He still brags about the people in his school who will openly admit that they've had nightmares about him. Curse his creepy bones.

**Lycan 01** · 2009-12-23, 10:25 PM (ISO 8601)

Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded

Actually...There was a report a few years back of a woman who died after using a jackhammer as a, uh..."Pleasure device"

Thats bad. But not as bad as the lobster. Thank God that one is an urban legend, though.

So... Anybody got an Crack Pairings on the menu?

**CoffeeIncluded** · 2009-12-23, 10:28 PM (ISO 8601)

What was the lobster?

...Perhaps something that involves the Darwin Awards?

Or maybe this?

**Lycan 01** · 2009-12-23, 10:31 PM (ISO 8601)

I've read that one actually...

The lobster? Three words: It. Laid. Eggs.

But again, thank God its an urban legend.

Feeling any better, Coffee?

**Monzach** · 2009-12-23, 10:33 PM (ISO 8601)

Doliest: I have a reputation amongst my friends that I can find a double entendre in any statement.

I sometimes have to bite my tongue to not totally freak my mates out.

**CoffeeIncluded** · 2009-12-23, 10:35 PM (ISO 8601)

A bit. Actually, the big thing was with camp.

...The two friends I talked to were friends from camp. We're all really close there. I mean, EVERYONE IN THE CAMP IS CLOSE. It's like the crack pairings thread, only spread out among hundreds of teenage nerds!

And the thing is that the entire camp is hurting because another person in the camp killed herself earlier this month.

So when I told my two friends, they basically warned everyone. So I ended up getting this outpouring of support. Even the RA sent an email. I was crying at the end of it.

...It made me feel better. That there's still people, a LOT of people, who actually...Care about me.

(It's a bit different because I met these people face to face and everything, you know?)

**Lycan 01** · 2009-12-23, 10:37 PM (ISO 8601)

Naturally. Support is a lot more... supportive... when you get to experience it personally.

Anybody else noticed that this is less of a Crack Pairing Thread and more of a Crack Pairing/Crack Authors Chat Thread?

**CoffeeIncluded** · 2009-12-23, 10:40 PM (ISO 8601)

Originally Posted by Lycan 01

Naturally. Support is a lot more... supportive... when you get to experience it personally.

Anybody else noticed that this is less of a Crack Pairing Thread and more of a Crack Pairing/Crack Authors Chat Thread?

Ah, but it still has the Crack Pairing title, after all.

...Hmm, how about I release a bunch of kittens from the shelter into the thread? Kittens that like to nibble your ears?

**Lycan 01** · 2009-12-23, 10:42 PM (ISO 8601)

If a cat so much as touches my ears, I'm punting it. I don't like most cats, especially when they bite me.

I really want to write something. But nothing jumps out at me...

**CoffeeIncluded** · 2009-12-23, 10:46 PM (ISO 8601)

Aww, but it's adorable when you have a tiny little warm fuzzball perched on your shoulder playing with your hair and batting your ear while purring!

**Lycan 01** · 2009-12-23, 10:50 PM (ISO 8601)

...

Okay, maybe.

But still. I don't like cats. I'm more of a dog person.

Btw, did I mention that my little bro and mom got me a fish?

Yeah, they randomly handed me a Betta Fish. And three days ago, they spent about an hour making fun of me for how badly I took care of my last fish, which starved to death because nobody took care of it for me when I went off to college.

So now I'm stuck taking care of a fish that is probably doomed to die.

I named him Cthulhu.

**Monzach** · 2009-12-23, 10:51 PM (ISO 8601)

Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded

Aww, but it's adorable when you have a tiny little warm fuzzball perched on your shoulder playing with your hair and batting your ear while purring!

It's very much fun, indeed. But only as long as the fuzzball is just playing around and leaves the claws and fangs well enough away.

**Raging Gene Ray** · 2009-12-23, 10:53 PM (ISO 8601)

Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded

Aww, but it's adorable when you have a tiny little warm fuzzball perched on your shoulder playing with your hair and batting your ear while purring!

What's even more fun is when YOU nibble on the kitty's ear and purr!

What

?

**Monzach** · 2009-12-23, 10:53 PM (ISO 8601)

Originally Posted by Lycan 01

...Btw, did I mention that my little bro and mom got me a fish?

Yeah, they randomly handed me a Betta Fish. And three days ago, they spent about an hour making fun of me for how badly I took care of my last fish, which starved to death because nobody took care of it for me when I went off to college.

So now I'm stuck taking care of a fish that is probably doomed to die.

I named him Cthulhu.

Ok, please, promise me... Promise me that you'll only refer to him in conversation with your family through cryptic utterances containing the words "Iä Cthulhu R'lyeh ftagn" in differnet combinations?

Cause that'd be awesome!

**CoffeeIncluded** · 2009-12-23, 10:53 PM (ISO 8601)

I prefer dogs too. But kittens are ADORABLE.

Hey, what do you say about tying up the elves and letting a bunch of ear-nibbling kittens into the room?

**Lycan 01** · 2009-12-23, 10:56 PM (ISO 8601)

Hm. A room full of elves and ear-nibbling kittens. I'm sorry, but that'd probably only be allowed on the ff.net Crack Pairing community thing. I doubt such content would be allowed here.

**Jackdaw** · 2009-12-23, 11:01 PM (ISO 8601)

*is the adorable fuzzball on CoffeeIncluded's shoulder*

And I'm gonna nibble on your ears till the end of times! or you get sick of the annoying hairball, whichever comes first.

But honestly, I'm really glad to hear that you feel better. Just remember that you've got the support from everyone in this thread, and you can always come here for help and comfort. We love you CoffeeIncluded, don't you forget about it!

*chews on yummy hair*

**CoffeeIncluded** · 2009-12-23, 11:01 PM (ISO 8601)

Are you kidding me?! Get Teevo in there and we'll be millionaires!

...

...Excuse me. I need to find a cold shower.

**Lycan 01** · 2009-12-23, 11:05 PM (ISO 8601)

Sorry Coffee, but there's no way I'm writing an elf/cat orgy and posting it for people to see...

Although, I could try my hand at ghostwriting...

**CoffeeIncluded** · 2009-12-23, 11:06 PM (ISO 8601)

Besides, I already did V/Mr. Scruffy.

What about Teevo?

**Aaron** · 2009-12-23, 11:06 PM (ISO 8601)

Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded

Aww, but it's adorable when you have a tiny little warm fuzzball perched on your shoulder playing with your hair and batting your ear while purring!

That it is. I love cats! (you know, the nice and playful ones

)

Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded

Are you kidding me?! Get Teevo in there and we'll be millionaires!

...

...Excuse me. I need to find a cold shower.

*runs off to the electronic store*

**CoffeeIncluded** · 2009-12-23, 11:12 PM (ISO 8601)

Great. Now you're making me wonder if any of the characters ever taped any of their sexytimes.

...

**Monzach** · 2009-12-23, 11:14 PM (ISO 8601)

Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded

Great. Now you're making me wonder if any of the characters ever taped any of their sexytimes.

...

O-kay...does it make me weird that I was starting to think about what kind of a newscast Fox (I'm thinking Bill O'Reilly mainly here) and MSNBC (Rachel Maddow, mebbe?) would make, respectively, of the sex tapes, once they were published...

**Aaron** · 2009-12-23, 11:16 PM (ISO 8601)

Originally Posted by CoffeeIncluded

Great. Now you're making me wonder if any of the characters ever taped any of their sexytimes.

...

Glad I could help ~~implant this thought in your brain forever~~ you think of this.

*gets to store* DAMM IT! Everyone is sold out!

**CoffeeIncluded** · 2009-12-23, 11:19 PM (ISO 8601)

Originally Posted by Monzach

O-kay...does it make me weird that I was starting to think about what kind of a newscast Fox (I'm thinking Bill O'Reilly mainly here) and MSNBC (Rachel Maddow, mebbe?) would make, respectively, of the sex tapes, once they were published...

...IDEA!!!

**Lycan 01** · 2009-12-23, 11:19 PM (ISO 8601)

Anybody remember the OotS comic that mentioned Fox News, and it showed the fox talking to the gnomes? I picture the fox yipping angrily or enthusiastically, and several gnomes looking horrified and others looking sickly entertained.

So who would get taped? I'm thinking Roy and Celia... Though Haley and Elan seem likely too.

**Aaron** · 2009-12-23, 11:19 PM (ISO 8601)

Originally Posted by Monzach

O-kay...does it make me weird that I was starting to think about what kind of a newscast Fox (I'm thinking Bill O'Reilly mainly here) and MSNBC (Rachel Maddow, mebbe?) would make, respectively, of the sex tapes, once they were published...

Please, don't get me started on a rant about Fox news.

(also, that is bordering on politics, which is not allowed here

)

Originally Posted by Lycan 01

Anybody remember the OotS comic that mentioned Fox News, and it showed the fox talking to the gnomes? I picture the fox yipping angrily or enthusiastically, and several gnomes looking horrified and others looking sickly entertained.

Found it!

**CoffeeIncluded** · 2009-12-23, 11:21 PM (ISO 8601)

Originally Posted by Lycan 01

Anybody remember the OotS comic that mentioned Fox News, and it showed the fox talking to the gnomes? I picture the fox yipping angrily or enthusiastically, and several gnomes looking horrified and others looking sickly entertained.

So who would get taped? I'm thinking Roy and Celia... Though Haley and Elan seem likely too.

I'm thinking Haley and Elan are the most likely.

Then again, maybe one night V and Kyrie were feeling particularly frisky...

Ooh! Ooh! The V/Haley/Elan threesome! Have them tape the V/Haley/Elan threesome!

**Monzach** · 2009-12-23, 11:21 PM (ISO 8601)

Originally Posted by Aaron

Please, don't get me started on a rant about Fox news.

(also, that is bordering on politics, which is not allowed here

)

Dude, I wasn't commenting on anything apart from my, sick, sick imagination.

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