Crack Pairings IV - You Can't Unread It

[CoffeeIncluded]

I take it this meets with your approval, then?

I'd write out the entire scene, but it would definitely be rated OMFGWTFBBQXXX

...Uhm...I could try later today. I'm pretty good at keeping things implied; at least I think I am...

[ShinyDelusion]

Anyone dare to write Girard x Miko? The tale could begin with why people call them evil. Since such discussions tend to generate more heat than light (at least on these boards), things will swiftly get hot...

I just got a mental picture of Girard reading whichever one of the books Miko is in while Miko catches up on the latest OOTS on the internet...

Girard: I can't believe you ****ing killed Shojo! What is wrong with you?!

Miko: Me?! At least I thought I was justified! Your paranoia just gave the evil lich a possible advantage!

Girard: Hey, did you know Soon? No? Didn't think so. I was way more justified than you ever thought you were. Fallen. Bet you go evil later...

Miko: Then keep reading, sir; I do not.

Girard: Assuming you haven't been evil all along!

Miko: *unsheathing weaponry* How dare you?! SMITE E--

Girard: Wow. You're hot.

Is that about what you were thinking? I might try to write it. Could take place in some kind of afterlife (which of course, would be assuming Girard is dead) where you're finally allowed to read the comic and catch up on what you've been missing.

[Asta Kask]

Is that about what you were thinking? I might try to write it. Could take place in some kind of afterlife (which of course, would be assuming Girard is dead) where you're finally allowed to read the comic and catch up on what you've been missing.

Actually I was thinking about starting a thread with the theme "Who is more evil: Belkar, Miko or Girard?", and call it "The World's Greatest Flame War". But for some reason I thought that might be considered flamebaiting...

[ShinyDelusion]

Actually I was thinking about starting a thread with the theme "Who is more evil: Belkar, Miko or Girard?", and call it "The World's Greatest Flame War". But for some reason I thought that might be considered flamebaiting...

Can't imagine why...

I wonder how long that thread would get before it inevitably got shut down...

[BatRobin]

Actually I was thinking about starting a thread with the theme "Who is more evil: Belkar, Miko or Girard?", and call it "The World's Greatest Flame War". But for some reason I thought that might be considered flamebaiting...

Miko. Defininately Miko. The closest thing to 'Good' she did was kill the ogres with OOTS, and who's to say they all wanted to kill?

[Asta Kask]

Miko. Defininately Miko. The closest thing to 'Good' she did was kill the ogres with OOTS, and who's to say they all wanted to kill?

PLEASE close that can of worms and throw it into a black hole.

[Water-Smurf]

Alrighty, then! I have some ideas for a few of the requests (not telling you which I'm doing, now ) so I'm wrestling a few of them onto a page. (This would be so much easier if I knew what name Redcloak/every one of Redcloak's family members had...)

It's not christmas-themed, but a family hug is a family hug.

Awww... That's adorable... ^.^

Anyway, since CoP isn't cooperating right now and the requests are all still in their sketchy stages, here's a new PM chapter. (I'm not sure if I kept everyone in-character. Could you guys tell me if I did? If I didn't, I want to revamp it.)

Warning:

Spoiler

Show

this chapter contains vague but pretty unmistakable references to the use of a child for masturbation. If you don't want to read that, I suggest you don't. Oh, and it also includes the use of drugs on children. Seriously, I'm starting to worry that this is against the rules.

EDIT: Since it's not so kid-friendly, I posted it elsewhere. Here's the link.

Spoiler

Show

Here it is!

Thoughts?

[The Dark Fiddler]

Thoughts?

I think that Cleric should be glad he's a fictional character or I'd {scrubbed} his {scrubbed}.

[Dark_Stryke]

I think that Cleric should be glad he's a fictional character or I'd {scrubbed} his {scrubbed}.

Well said. I wish to visit excessive violence upon this man.

Water-Smurf: Well done as usual. I think you're really beginning to push the boundaries of what might be acceptable on this forum, though. Not that I mind, and I doubt any of the other readers would mind, but it might be wise to tone down the adult themes slightly in future chapters. I'd hate to see you get kicked out of the playground.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Same as above. Nice chapter, but you're toeing the line here.

We're all getting a little crazy in here, and nobody wants to be the first to break the boundaries, you know?

In other news: Hooray! V is alive! My crack pairings are not prophetic!

Oh, and are we really going to {scrubbed} his {scrubbed}? I'll go get the chainsaw and rusty fork!

[ClericOfBelker]

Yeah! I really don't want to lose all your great storys! I'm sure everyone else will agree!

[The Dark Fiddler]

Yeah! I really don't want to lose all your great comics! I'm sure everyone else will agree!

Yeah! I really don't want to lose all your great comics!

your great comics!

Well, if you do cross the rules, I'm sure the mods will politely ban you tell you, scrub the offending material, and maybe (probably?) give you an infraction. And then you're free to post it elsewhere.

[Water-Smurf]

Hmmm... I think that I'll take the chapter down and put it elsewhere just to be on the safe side. I'll post the link--don't worry.

[Dark Faun]

With the pigtails and the Goth Blood Doll outfits she wears? No way she's gonna be pitching...

Besides, Evil V? Epic level caster. Tsukiko? Mystic Theurge. One is in the deep end of the Tier system. The other... is not.

Besides, Evil V is just *made* for Dom...

I was referring to normal V. Step 1: capture V. Step 2: burn its spellbook. Step 3: "visit" it whenever you're lonely. Step 4: get knocked up.

Anyway, I thought a little about this plot and I found out I wasn't comfortable with tentacle rape at all. In fact, I think I'll add a new resolution for 2010's batch: remain K-rated.

[Zanaril]

Oh, and are we really going to {scrubbed} his {scrubbed}? I'll go get the chainsaw and rusty fork!

*grabs necessary implements and joins in man-hunt*

I was referring to normal V. Step 1: capture V. Step 2: burn its spellbook. Step 3: "visit" it whenever you're lonely. Step 4: get knocked up.

I see it happening as per Shneekey laid it out, but halfway through Tsukiko starts criticising V's teqhnique, and somehow ends up in leading.

V just ends up very confused.

In fact, I think I'll add a new resolution for 2010's batch: remain K-rated.

*puppy-dog eyes*


Also; the most recent comic. Is that budding Vaarsuvius/Belkar subtext or am I just too hopeful? (Yes, I will be asking this every time they so much as look at each other.)

[Dark Faun]

Ah, yes, Don't Split the Party mentions that Belkar wants to lay V.

I swear, if his feelings are ever returned or if he manages to lay V against its will without proper retribution, I'll hang myself.

[Zanaril]

I swear, if his feelings are ever returned or if he manages to lay V against its will without proper retribution, I'll hang myself.

I speculate that the 'proper retribution' might be what finally kills Belkar...

With any luck, slowly, painfully and (for everyone else) comically.

[Lawyergoblin]

Argh! I want to read it so badly but I can't get to the freaking place it's posted!

[Dark Faun]

You could read it if Water-Smurf had posted it in the M-rated section of fanfiction.net, but for some reason everyone snobs this site.

I speculate that the 'proper retribution' might be what finally kills Belkar...

With any luck, slowly, painfully and (for everyone else) comically.

I've been corrupted by Cracklord's opinion of Belkar and now consider him an author's pet that has been a triple load on the characterization, story and humor since the first strip and who will have no comeuppance other than ending up ruling the Abyss.

I've always been easily influenced by negative opinions unless it was on characters I already loved (V, Miko, Haley).

[CoffeeIncluded]

You could read it if Water-Smurf had posted it in the M-rated section of fanfiction.net, but for some reason everyone snobs this site.

I've been corrupted by Cracklord's opinion of Belkar and now consider him an author's pet that has been a triple load on the characterization, story and humor since the first strip and who will have no comeuppance other than ending up ruling the Abyss.

I've always been easily influenced by negative opinions unless it was on characters I already loved (V, Miko, Haley).

Huh. I haven't.

...Do you hate Matt? Because he's acting a bit Belkarish, although there will be character growth in the future (He'll always be a bit of a wild card though.).

And what do you think of my idea where we just shove everyone naked into a room with a padded floor, love potion fumes in the air, a recording device, and just be done with it?

[Dark Faun]

...Do you hate Matt? Because he's acting a bit Belkarish, although there will be character growth in the future (He'll always be a bit of a wild card though.).

Who's Matt?

And what do you think of my idea where we just shove everyone naked into a room with a padded floor, love potion fumes in the air, a recording device, and just be done with it?

Not K-rated.

[Zanaril]

but for some reason everyone snobs this site.

FF.net will always have a fond place in my heart, since it's what led me to reading OOTS.

I've been corrupted by Cracklord's opinion of Belkar and now consider him an author's pet that has been a triple load on the characterization, story and humor since the first strip and who will have no comeuppance other than ending up ruling the Abyss.

The problem with Belkar suffering in the Abyss is that V prefers the hands-on approach to revenge. Not to say that can't happen afterwards, but V need a turn first.

And what do you think of my idea where we just shove everyone naked into a room with a padded floor, love potion fumes in the air, a recording device, and just be done with it?

But what about the drama? What about the plot? What about the slow, agonising stretch of time between when the chacters' eyes first meet across the room and when they finally realize they're just horny?


...Yeah, I'm fine with speeding things up.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Who's Matt?


Not K-rated.

A Chaotic Neutral rogue in a comic I'm working on. (The one in my sig.) Sorry, I thought you read it.

It is if you word it right!

[Kyronea]

A Chaotic Neutral rogue in a comic I'm working on. (The one in my sig.) Sorry, I thought you read it.

It is if you word it right!

Oh, whew, I was about to say "Wait a minute, I didn't do anything!"

Water-Smurf: Wow...you...you should start publishing your own original stuff once you get to that point. I think I would happily buy all of your books.

[ShinyDelusion]

And what do you think of my idea where we just shove everyone naked into a room with a padded floor, love potion fumes in the air, a recording device, and just be done with it?

Does that qualify as "doing something with it", as the first post encourages us to do?

Not to mention, if we did do that then we would be done with it and then what would we do?

[CoffeeIncluded]

Does that qualify as "doing something with it", as the first post encourages us to do?

Not to mention, if we did do that then we would be done with it and then what would we do?

Document the ensuing mass orgy in increasingly explicit and lemon-ey detail.

[Dark Faun]

What for those of us who prefer romance to sex?

[ShinyDelusion]

Document the ensuing mass orgy in increasingly explicit and lemon-ey detail.

As Discord pointed out, that makes things rather difficult for those who can't or won't write above PG or lower. Not to mention that focussing on one point in time would mean no more pregnancies, second and third dates, unusual dreams, underhanded schemes, etc.... *sigh*

[CoffeeIncluded]

What for those of us who prefer romance to sex?

We're not skipping either of them!

(And do you hate Matt? Sorry to be pushy...)

As Discord pointed out, that makes things rather difficult for those who can't or won't write above PG or lower. Not to mention that focussing on one point in time would mean no more pregnancies, second and third dates, unusual dreams, underhanded schemes, etc.... *sigh*

*Sigh*

For crying out loud, I was joking!

[ShinyDelusion]

*Sigh*

For crying out loud, I was joking!

Just saying... Sowwy.