GITP Monster Competition Chat Thread III

[Debihuman]

Mangle, welcome to the contests.

Giants have a d8 not d10 for HD.

Hit Dice: 14d8+70 (133 hp)

You forgot a bunch of modifiers to your attack and damage lines for the claws. -1 for size and +3 enhancement from Auriel's favor plus the cold damage (see icy burst which also does frost).

Attack: Claw +21 melee (2d6+15 plus 1d6 cold) or Coal +9 ranged (2d6+10)
Full Attack: 2 claws +21 melee (2d6+15 plus 1d6 cold) or Coal +9 ranged (2d6+10)

Nice use of Cold feats and Cold domain from Frostburn. You should probably include a little more information in a feats section for someone who doesn't have access to that book or at least recommend alternatives.

I think you need to state exactly how this all affects the PCs. For example.

Santa can cast spells from the Cold domain. In cold areas, he casts at CL +1 and in extreme cold, at CL +2. In cold areas, he gain a +1 bonus per die to any dice rolled to determine damage caused by cold spells he casts, and in extreme cold the bonus is +2. If he uses snow as a component for his spells, the spell gains the Cold descriptor. If the spell already had the Cold descriptor and he adds snow as a material component, he casts the spell at CL +1.

One last thing: Lore checks are 10 + Monster's Hit Dice and increase by 5.
Lore should start at 24, 29, etc.

Debby

[Gelscressor]

The Crimson Candyman should be more or less finished. Short of correcting mistakes, anyway.

Critique is welcome and appreciated!

Also, I have question regarding the Swallow Whole ability. Is there any sort of formula to determine how much damage it should do or not really?

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Also, I have question regarding the Swallow Whole ability. Is there any sort of formula to determine how much damage it should do or not really?

Swallow whole damage is generally equal to how much damage it may do with a successful grapple check. For example, a Behir deals 2d8 damage+str mod with a successful grapple (mainly because it constricts as it does so) and it also deals 2d8 damage+str mod to swallowed creature.

Acid damage, if any, appears to be more random. I'd make a personal rule to make it equal to the con mod or maybe twice con mod. If it has an acid attack, spits acidic saliva or the like I'd then double it from what you decide above.

Will go over your entry fully in jussst a moment.

[Zom B]

Forgot to post, the Chanukah Chorror is complete. Might add something else if I think of it.

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Candyman Critique

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Base Attack/Grapple: +13/+25

How do you acquire that grapple?

Was thinking it should be +26.
BAB 13 + Str mod 5 + Improved Grapple 4 + Powerful Build +4

Powerful Bite (Ex)
A crimson candyman's bite adds 2x its Str modifier to damage rather than 1.5.

1.5 Str mod however is only when you only have a bite attack and no additional attacks.

Combat

If it has no reason believe that it can't sow discord among the ranks of his opponents

Typo boldened.

Change Shape (Su)
A crimson candymaker can assume the form of any Tiny, Small, Medium, Large or Huge fey, giant, humanoid or monstrous humanoid.

For ease of read I'd just suggest saying 'assume form of any Tiny to Huge...'

Improved Grab (Ex)
To use this ability, a crimson candyman must hit a Large or smaller opponent with its bite attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can try to swallow the foe the following round.

So it can swallow Large-sized or foes even while Medium-sized itself?

Poison (Su)
Injury, Ingested Fortitude DC 22, initial damage 1d6 Wis, secondary damage 2d6 Wis. The save DC is Constitution-based. If a victim is reduced to 0 Wisdom by this poison, he experiences powerful hallucinations and a ravenous appetite for any sort of raw flesh.

Thing is, I believe creatures with a Wisdom of 0 are blind, deaf and completely unable to sense their surroundings.


It is definitely a new go on a gluttonous fiend, and a pretty cool, if vicious concept.

Interesting use of my feats as well

[Mangles]

Thanks Debbie! Fixed up what you pointed out though I tried to reword it all.

[Gelscressor]

Swallow whole damage is generally equal to how much damage it may do with a successful grapple check. For example, a Behir deals 2d8 damage+str mod with a successful grapple (mainly because it constricts as it does so) and it also deals 2d8 damage+str mod to swallowed creature.

Acid damage, if any, appears to be more random. I'd make a personal rule to make it equal to the con mod or maybe twice con mod. If it has an acid attack, spits acidic saliva or the like I'd then double it from what you decide above.

Right. Following the first then. For the acid damage, I'm going with 2d6 + Con mod. I'd use 1d6 + Con mod as a base, but added an additional die as its a fiend; as it would make (IMO) sense for fiends have stronger than normal digestive juices.

Candyman Critique

Spoiler

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How do you acquire that grapple?

Was thinking it should be +26.
BAB 13 + Str mod 5 + Improved Grapple 4 + Powerful Build +4

And it so should be! Increased its HD by 1 at some point and forgot to update the grapple score.

1.5 Str mod however is only when you only have a bite attack and no additional attacks.

Changed to 1.5 instead of 1.0.

For ease of read I'd just suggest saying 'assume form of any Tiny to Huge...'

Agreed, that does read better.

So it can swallow Large-sized or foes even while Medium-sized itself?

Yep. That is, in most conditions it can; as a part of its body interior is nondimensional space, similar to how a bag of holding works. Wasn't really clear on stating that under its Swallow Whole ability though, so description there has been updated.

Thing is, I believe creatures with a Wisdom of 0 are blind, deaf and completely unable to sense their surroundings.

Hm. Would it be better if I specify that the poison can not reduce someone's wisdom score past 1 and that the hallucination occurs then?

It is definitely a new go on a gluttonous fiend, and a pretty cool, if vicious concept.

Interesting use of my feats as well

Thanks! And thank you for the feats well, I found them quite fitting for this creature.

[unosarta]

Well, I added a couple of hooks to the Dryad of the Sanguine Holly, I would love some feedback on... well, anything really.

[Mangles]

Love the plot hooks. The thought of a forest of blood is fantastic. For the more chaotic characters maybe seeking help from the holly to stop an evil warlords supply line or troop movements with disappearances from the ranks.

[Debihuman]

I have only this to add: GITP Monster Competition LII -- Nightmare Before Christmas has been a pleasure to work on and to read. I've enjoyed every entry. Voting is going to be tough because everyone has done such a superb job.

Mulletmanalive: your entry is still showing up as a work in progress. I really hope you have it complete before the contest ends. Yours has been really complicated, though I grok what you are trying to do. Kudos on referencing the nicks as well. That was clever indeed.

Speaking of the nicks, there seems to be a bit of text missing from the lore section. A Knowledge (Nature) check should reveal information about Fey creatures.

The Insanity Claws isn't complete yet either. I hope we see this one finished in time as well.

Mangles: I believe you should put your notes at the very end of the entry. That's usually where designer notes belong.

Upon further examination, it appears that your Santa Claws should have the Cold subtype. This gives it cold immunity and fire vulnerability.

The sack of infinite coal is missing cost and weight. [3,000 gp since it holds only magic +1 coal, and 15 lbs like a bag of holding isn't unreasonable]

Also, there should be a limit on how long the +1 magic enhancement of the coal lasts. This should be either a set time or until it successfully hits a creature. You should also state whether the coal can be lit normally.

IMNSHO, it should be lit normally as this would be just deserts if used against Santa Claws.

Last of all, the Lore check for Santa Claws appears to be best suited for a Bardic Knowledge check as well as a Knowledge (Nature check).

A successful Knowledge (Nature) check would reveal the Giant type where the Bardic Knowledge would reveal the history of Jack himself.

Debby

[unosarta]

Love the plot hooks. The thought of a forest of blood is fantastic. For the more chaotic characters maybe seeking help from the holly to stop an evil warlords supply line or troop movements with disappearances from the ranks.

Ooo, I could see that. If the Dryads were willing to, they would be perfectly happy to negotiate with others in order to get more prey, especially if they felt they would be able to go back and then kill the party.

[Mangles]

Holly: 'I need more life and I will take yours."

Adventures: "You know i could just tell a whole bunch of low level guys there is a whore house around here for you. No one will miss them anyway, there just nameless henchmen."

[unosarta]

Holly: 'I need more life and I will take yours."

Adventures: "You know i could just tell a whole bunch of low level guys there is a whore house around here for you. No one will miss them anyway, there just nameless henchmen."

Actually, a brothel of Dryads (any sort, really), seems like it would make sense, but seems kind of forum inappropriate.

[Mulletmanalive]

Mangles, your Regeneration is missing its Antigen. Without an Antigen, the creature is unkillable and I can't vote for it, despite wishing i'd through of the deadly rain of coal...

[Mangles]

Sorry i thought it was always fire and acid. Is there a standard to how its written out in the stat block because it always just appears as Regeneration N. I added it into the abilities breakdown. Also a creature without an antigen can always be beaten into unconsciousness and then coup de graced. coup de grace damage cannot be converted into sub dual damage. That however wasn't what i was going for.

[Mulletmanalive]

Actually, if you read that in the SRD again, it explicitly states that you can't coup de grace them with an attack that automatically converts to non-lethal. It's just there so you can beat a troll down and then burn it rather than sourcing a retarded amount of alchemist's fire.

Anyway...Later books sometimes write it was Regeneration 10 [Fire or Acid] but the older style we are encouraged to use is to include a Special Ability note that states that "Creature X can be dealt lethal damage by Fire and Acid and Lollipops. It regrows lost limbs in Y minutes."




As a complete aside: I have finished the Twelfth Knight in the Eleventh Hour!

[Mangles]

Your right. looks like i read the SRD wrong. Thanks for clearing that up.

[BisectedBrioche]

Actually, if you read that in the SRD again, it explicitly states that you can't coup de grace them with an attack that automatically converts to non-lethal. It's just there so you can beat a troll down and then burn it rather than sourcing a retarded amount of alchemist's fire.

Anyway...Later books sometimes write it was Regeneration 10 [Fire or Acid] but the older style we are encouraged to use is to include a Special Ability note that states that "Creature X can be dealt lethal damage by Fire and Acid and Lollipops. It regrows lost limbs in Y minutes."




As a complete aside: I have finished the Twelfth Knight in the Eleventh Hour!

Isn't it more like the early afternoon if you're using that "entire timescale in 24 hours" analogy?

[Mulletmanalive]

Isn't it more like the early afternoon if you're using that "entire timescale in 24 hours" analogy?

Yes, but being frightfully British, I'm forced to keep to the classic lines...

[Admiral Squish]

Well, wait. Technically, the contest runs for 20 days, yes? So, by multiplying the 20 by... 1.2, we arrive at 24. So, assuming starting at midnight and ending there once more, editing on the 17th translates to 20.4, or approximately 8:25 PM.

...Yay for OCD!

[The Glyphstone]

The Felpine Shambler is officially complete, with a lore table and two plot hooks. One is for PCs of any level, the seed of an investigative adventure to find a poisoner, while the other is a high-level race against time and winter's icy grasp.

[BisectedBrioche]

Yes, but being frightfully British, I'm forced to keep to the classic lines...

Frightfully sorry old chap, but there's nothing more British than embroidering a pattern into the old hat to soak their stumps a little.

[Debihuman]

Mulletman: Does the Twelfth Knight have any feats? That seems to be missing.

Debby

[centuriancode]

Hi all, this is my first Monster Competition, so I am willing and eager to take any criticisms and feedback that are on offer. I know I left it very late, I only saw the thread two days ago. I am somewhat awed by the skill that went into everyone else's creatures, so congratulations to you all; they all look fantastic.

[Mulletmanalive]

Mulletman: Does the Twelfth Knight have any feats? That seems to be missing.

Debby

Blast! fixed. It's annoyingly difficult to find abilities that aren't messed up by his Lord of Misrule power...

Frightfully sorry old chap, but there's nothing more British than embroidering a pattern into the old hat to soak their stumps a little.

Ah, but too much razzle dazzle could lose the yanks, and what's a bard without his lute, what?

[yes, i had to call my impossibly chappish friend for that last part...]

[BisectedBrioche]

Hi all, this is my first Monster Competition, so I am willing and eager to take any criticisms and feedback that are on offer. I know I left it very late, I only saw the thread two days ago. I am somewhat awed by the skill that went into everyone else's creatures, so congratulations to you all; they all look fantastic.

Just a couple of style and formatting things to point out;

• The story usually goes on the top (above the stat block).
• The format for abilities is just the name (in bold) followed by the description. There is no need to split it into an explanation and a description of the mechanics.
• List all of the abilities in one section. There's no need to divide up the spell like abilities. Instead, you'll need to mark each ability as Ex (extraordinary), Su (Supernatural) or Sp (spell-like), as the previous entries have.

[Debihuman]

Welcome to your first contest!! We're always glad to see a new face!

I can see we're in for a training lesson. First, make sure you bookmark this wonderful source, the online SRD (system reference document). It is incredibly handy for looking up the Open Gaming rules online. Here's a link: http://www.d20srd.org

You're not as familiar with rules as you could be. I know this because I'm seeing some pretty basic errors. Trust me, it's not a problem and everyone goes through this learning curve.

First your monster Type is wrong. There are Humanoids, Monstrous Humanoids, and Magical Beasts. However, there are no Magical Humanoids. You need to fix the monster type.

Second, Humanoids and Monstrous Humanoids use d8, but Magical Beasts use d10. Since I'm not sure what kind of creature you intend this to be, I'll leave it to you to fix.

Hit Dice: 15d10+30 [15 x 5.5 = 82.5 +30 = 112 hit points. You always round down with D&D.

If you use d8 you get 15d8+30 [15 x 4.5 +30 = 97 hit points]

AC. You state that Flickering Darkness gives a +4 bonus in the text but in the statblock it shows as +5.

Armor Class 24 (+8 Dex, + 2 Leather Armor, +4 Flickering Darkness) Touch 22, Flat-footed 16

You neglected to explain the creature's grapple. You say to see below but you need to say WHERE to see below. Which special ability changes his grapple?

BAB (Humanoid is +11, Monstrous Humanoid and Magical Beast are both +15). Humanoid is same as Cleric; Monstrous Humanoid and Magical Beast are same as Fighter.

Grapple is normally BAB + Str modifier special size modifier. BAB is either 11 +0 +2 for a total of 13 or it is 15+0+2 for a total of 17 depending on the Type of creature you decide.

The Attack line should show the melee attack for a carving knife. Attack is
Base attack bonus + Strength modifier + size modifier. Again, your numbers will depend on what Type your creature is.

If the BAB is 11, then your Attack line will look like this (and in any case, your creature is entitled to 3 attacks since it has BAB of at least +11).

Attack: Carving Knife +13 melee (1d6+2)
Full Attack: Carving Knife + 13/+8/+3 melee (1d6+2)

However, if you decide to go with BAB +15

Then your attack lines look like this:

Attack: Carving knife +17 melee (1d6+2)
Full Attack: Carving kife +17/+12/+7 melee (1d6+2)

You don't have enough feats for a 15 HD monster. Monsters gain feats the same way PCs gain feats. They gain 1 at their first HD and then gain an additional one for HD 3, 6, 9, 12 and 15. Your creature should have 6 feats.

Knowledge skills aren't generally ones that need to be created. No PC would have the Knowledge skills that you use. Knowledge (Local), Knowledge (Religion) and Knowledge (History) would be just as appropriate.

Environment only needs to say "Urban."

There's more but I think you should fix what I've already described.

Good luck and good gaming.

Debby

[Melayl]

Throwing my hat in at the last minute in my first competition.

I'd appreciate any constructive feedback you have -- I'm sure it needs some.

[Debihuman]

Welcome to the contest, Melayl. It's going to be a rushed commentary only because there isn't much time.

Monsters that can use weapons need weapons proficiencies or you put the monster's signature weapon in the statblock. What weapons can a gingerbreadman use?

Racial Memory should have some kind of game mechanic that goes with it. Otherwise it is just fluff that belongs in the creature's background.

I'd almost rather see it have fire immunity than resistance. It's been baked already. Not sure why it has cold resistance at all. There's nothing in its background or that you added that reflects this.

Numbers look okay but I don't have time to give more than a quick look at this.

Debby

[Melayl]

Oh -- forgot to remove the weapon line from the attack block. It was intended to be a reminder about possible class levels. That's what I get for posting that late at night.

I left it at simple fire Resistance because a baked good can still be burned, but I think I might change it... The cold resistance was a holdover that I hadn't changed, either.

As for Racial Memory, I don't know what kind of mechanic to add. Maybe a bonus to Sense Motive (naturally distrustful after their "betrayal" by the priests)?

Thanks for the review, Debby.