Murphy's Law 5: To Comic 100...And Beyond!

[CoffeeIncluded]

Please don't keep an ending you're not happy with on my account! I'm sorry if I made you feel pressurized into writing something you didn't like, I only wanted to provide some constructive criticism Everyone has different tastes in writing so it figures that just because I thought it was an improvement doesn't mean you would.
Also I agree with you, "For Science!" can be a very positive attitude - curiosity is a healthy thing and a very useful thing for people as a rule. I'd have thought respect for your test subjects would come into it as well as egos but I suppose disregarding the importance of the welfare of those you experiment on can be a sign that you consider your work more important than the test subjects ergo big ego... The worst side of it I guess is the knowledge that pretty much all of us have benefited from scientific advances that were discovered in pretty horrific ways and there's not a lot we can do about it now. Turning our backs on such advances now would hurt more people than it would help. (Though I still wouldn't like to advocate such research techniques being used now and in the future!)

No, I meant the whole short. I've very picky. And yes, that's equally important.

[super dark33]

is the next strip ready?

[blackjack217]

is the next strip ready?

no, if it was she would have posted it.

[Silverraptor]

is the next strip ready?

No. The next strip will be ready when its ready. Patience.

[Alagaesian]

I have a couple comments about your short story, Coffee.

Towards the end of your story, your sentences tend to get a bit run-on. I keep having to go back and re-read parts those last three "blocks" because the sentence is so long and rambling that I've forgotten how the sentence started. It would really clear things up if you could break some of those into smaller sentences, cut out some of the extraneous details, or add commas to show transitions between different ideas within the same sentence.

On the other hand, I was seriously interested in your story. As someone who sacrificed elective classes in school to take more science courses, I also understand that there can be a thin line between ethical and unethical experimentation. We can't shy away from pursuing the technological discoveries that save more and more lives each day, but we also can't throw away ethics for the sake of science.

I haven't put salt on slugs before, but I have to say that it was definitely the right choice to edit that into your story instead of the Anvilicious end to Serrin's conversation with David. It gets the point across without completely stating the obvious. Also, it shows the darker side of Serrin and what type of evil can happen when curiosity meets naivety.

So, really, your overall story looks good, but its the little things like run-on sentences that keep it from being great. I look forward to seeing the revised version.

[leakingpen]

I'm curious now to read the original!

And, those ending blocks are run on, but that's because they are intended to represent the stream of consciousness thoughts running through her head. Its confusing because SHES confused, and thus correct.

[CoffeeIncluded]

And here is the update!

#110: What They'll See

Spoiler

Show

[Lix Lorn]

...could he be possessed/scizophrenic/something?

[Volthawk]

Well, that was weird.

[CoffeeIncluded]

...could he be possessed/scizophrenic/something?

Well, that was weird.

The title is in reference to what anybody scrying on them would see. Rust is acting during this entire strip.

[blackjack217]

An illusion of some sort probably designed to deceive scrying as well

[Volthawk]

The title is in reference to what anybody scrying on them would see. Rust is acting during this entire strip.

But...wouldn't they only be decieved if they weren't watching a little while earlier? Or were old protections against scrying still up or something?

[CoffeeIncluded]

But...wouldn't they only be decieved if they weren't watching a little while earlier? Or were old protections against scrying still up or something?

Do you remember what he said last strip? He had to take them down to put up new ones, and the new ones took a while to work...

[GreenMuffin]

The title is in reference to what anybody scrying on them would see. Rust is acting during this entire strip.

oh... Actually kinda disappointed. It would have been interesting plot point if he was schizophrenic or something.

[dragongirl13]

The title is in reference to what anybody scrying on them would see. Rust is acting during this entire strip.

Rust, you magnificent bastard. I am going to LOVE watching this guy play Xanatos Speed Chess with our heroes. Or watching our heroes be the Spanner In The Works. Or both.

[Lycan 01]

Methinks that blood on the pillow will be of importance, since it would have had to either be over his face, or him rolled over on top of it for it to have that splatter pattern.


But, General Murphy and Perry the Platypus will probably naively believe what their "divine guidance" has to say on the matter...

[HalfTangible]

Methinks that blood on the pillow will be of importance, since it would have had to either be over his face, or him rolled over on top of it for it to have that splatter pattern.


But, General Murphy and Perry the Platypus will probably naively believe what their "divine guidance" has to say on the matter...

That was the pillow Rust shoved into his face

[RdMarquis]

Nice update. If that was all just an act, than I have to say, Rust was pretty impressive, not to mention more than a little chilling.

[Alagaesian]

I'm curious now to read the original!

And, those ending blocks are run on, but that's because they are intended to represent the stream of consciousness thoughts running through her head. Its confusing because SHES confused, and thus correct.

That may be so, but the whole thing's moot if the readers have issues understanding it. The confused, rambling effect doesn't work properly if I have to go back and re-read the sentence because I lost my train of thought in the middle of it. Coffee doesn't even have to break her sentences up or remove sections to make those parts clearer - she can add commas or use different word choice.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Rust, you magnificent bastard. I am going to LOVE watching this guy play Xanatos Speed Chess with our heroes. Or watching our heroes be the Spanner In The Works. Or both.

Nice update. If that was all just an act, than I have to say, Rust was pretty impressive, not to mention more than a little chilling.

Thank you. Yeah, Rust is pretty good at this.

I'm sorry, Alagaesian.

[smuchmuch]

Methinks that blood on the pillow will be of importance, since it would have had to either be over his face, or him rolled over on top of it for it to have that splatter pattern.

I doubt they'll look that far. all they'll think is 'the old man coughed blood befor he died' wich is not an unreasonable assumption given his prior state.

What they might be suspicious about is the fact that Lord byron death just coincidated witht a brech int he permlanent scrying while rust witht he only person in the room, but as you said:

But, General Murphy and Perry the Platypus will probably naively believe what their "divine guidance" has to say on the matter..

(not to mention, they might be even more willing to believe in an a'ccidental death while I was upgrading the scrying runes' if it arranges them in the long term.)

i'ts not the most subtle assassination ever but he's a celestial and they are fantics so it maight just work.

(Rust must still have a very good bluff score for this works.)

[Lix Lorn]

It would be an interesting plot twist if they DIDN'T believe it, and this actually caused them to question their beliefs.

[HalfTangible]

It would be an interesting plot twist if they DIDN'T believe it, and this actually caused them to question their beliefs.

Interesting, maybe. But not a good one in this particular case.

[Lix Lorn]

Why is it not?

[HalfTangible]

Why is it not?

Because it negates the whole point of having him act like he didn't do anything and/or sending Lloyd off to change Kago from the outside.

[Lix Lorn]

Yet it would be a pleasant reminder that few things are black and white-even the Kagoans can be good.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Yet it would be a pleasant reminder that few things are black and white-even the Kagoans can be good.

I've been trying to make sure that it's not.

[Lix Lorn]

Oh, I know. :)

[HalfTangible]

Yet it would be a pleasant reminder that few things are black and white-even the Kagoans can be good.

'A pleasant reminder' is not worth removing the biggest piece of conflict in a story.

[Lix Lorn]

The higher ups don't cause the conflict. There are also an entire COUNTRY who believe this. If their leaders said HEY THE PLAVAAN ARE ACTUALLY PRETTY COOL GUYS. THEY TAKE OUR ____ AND DOESN'T AFRAID OF ANYTHING then the country would think they'd been replaced and they'd have to run.