LGBTAitp - Part Twelve

[Lix Lorn]

Well, I'm hardly one to offer advice about relationships, but I find that writing down what I want to say beforehand, sitting the person down in during a calm moment, and having a conversation (that's important, it has to be two ways) can be a big help when someone is doing something that bothers me. Use "I-statements." They're lame but they work.

I guess. I just don't like those conversations so so much. >_<

Wow, I had a head-hurting moment there. I just think of you as a girl!

The biggest problem seems to be your mom calling you a big brother to the baby. Maybe you should substitute a nickname? A baby-talk version of your real name or something. Call yourself that to the baby all the time and hope it catches on with him (when he starts talking) and your mom!

Well that's good. xD

That's not a bad idea...

[Jokasti]

I guess. I just don't like those conversations so so much. >_<


Well that's good. xD

That's not a bad idea...

For example, Lix would work.

[Asta Kask]

So you're 17 and your little brother is four months... that's what we in Sweden called sladdbarn - a child born a long time after the other children. How long is a matter of discussion but seventeen years certainly qualifies. Is there a specific term for this in english?

[rayne_dragon]

So you're 17 and your little brother is four months... that's what we in Sweden called sladdbarn - a child born a long time after the other children. How long is a matter of discussion but seventeen years certainly qualifies. Is there a specific term for this in english?

Nope (at least not that I know of). Sometimes I envy other languages. You have words for things that English is garbage for expressing.

[Asta Kask]

For example, Lix would work.

As a name, it is quite deLixious.

[turkishproverb]

Bad...Puns...killing...me...

[KenderWizard]

I guess. I just don't like those conversations so so much. >_<


Well that's good. xD

That's not a bad idea...

Worth a shot, since it's bothering you! Hope you work something out anyway.

So you're 17 and your little brother is four months... that's what we in Sweden called sladdbarn - a child born a long time after the other children. How long is a matter of discussion but seventeen years certainly qualifies. Is there a specific term for this in english?

That's a surprisingly useful concept for a word! Here in Ireland, a child born a long time after the second youngest sibling is most often called a "mistake". (No offence meant to Lix's family or anyone else's with a sladdbarn, of course, since I don't actually have any judgmental feelings towards any age gap for any set of siblings!)

[Lix Lorn]

I was the mistake. My mother was about eighteen. xD
(Technically, this is my half-brother)

[Asta Kask]

Bad...Puns...killing...me...

You know how she felt after coming out?

She felt Lorn again.

[Lix Lorn]

And until then I was truly forLorn.

Without an Asta, I am simply loveLorn.*

Let's stop now.

*Actually the origin of the name.

[rayne_dragon]

Do we have to stop? I'd love to Lix more puns.

@ v - that's a Lixle stretch.

[Asta Kask]

You Lixe them?

[Coidzor]

At most of the weddings I partecipated, it was actually implicitly forbidden to wear too fancy a dress/tux, because that would have detracted attention from the bride/groom. (I do not actually endorse this line of reasoning either.)

Well, it is still rude to blatantly ignore their request regardless of whether you feel their reasoning for it made sense. And there's an economic incentive, since formal-wear one already owns for this sort of thing is a lot less expensive to have dry-cleaned afterward than it is to rent a tuxedo or buy a new dress just for the occasion that's never going to be worn again().

Because she doesn't want to out herself to everyone just yet? Call her what? "Big sibling"?

No, this is a problem with no easy solution.

Well, simple in its conception, a social quagmire in its execution. And the one solution that presents itself is the one that has been emphatically decided against. :/

...Though I'm kind of surprised Lix's parents don't already know what with the stocking up on of dresses and the lack of ties to dramatic/comedic organizations.

My mum knows it bugs me, though I don't think she knows how much. She said she doesn't want to confuse him or something. I think it more likely she doesn't want to think about it...

So why do you let them get away with shoving you in the closet? Engage with them. Challenge them when they slip up to do better next time. They haven't actually started threatening you physically or financially so what are you scared of? If you're serious about transitioning then you have to overcome this area of fear that's holding you back from becoming the adult that you want to be or you have to say goodbye to your family.

[Partysan]

Wow. I never noticed there was a thread like this, let alone twelve of them. Just read this one and found it quite heartwarming. But I doubt I'll read all eleven old ones, just butting in here now.
For the record, I'm a bit of an anything-goes person, being a pansexual polyamorous male. Fortunately coming out has never been an issue to me as Germany is a quite progressive nation in that regard (and a lot of my partners have been female anyway).

As to the one being in a relationship with a possibly kinky person: Since I'm into BDSM myself I can tell you a few things. First of all, as you will certainly know, we can for the most part have, and even be happy in, a vanilla relationship. So as long as he doesn't bring it up, simply don't worry too much about it.
If he does, just don't be afraid and listen, and try out whatever you're comfortable with and firmly refuse anything you're not. Don't kneejerk, but also don't feel yourself pressured or obliged to anything. If he does try to pressure you, this is an alarm, pull the brakes!
This being extremely general and thus possibly superfluous advice, feel free to ask me anything per PM.

Yeah well, I just wanted to approve of this thread, it's one of the nicest and warmest I've read in a long time.

[golentan]

Yeah well, I just wanted to approve of this thread, it's one of the nicest and warmest I've read in a long time.

That's because it's on FIRE!!! BURN IT! BURN IT ALL!!1 Muahahaha!!! Muahahaha!!!

Seriously, though, the other folks here are good people.

[Lix Lorn]

I like fire. It's pretty.

[Mina Kobold]

I like fire. It's pretty.

Ditto.

Especially when it's the fire of fun!

Now to say something relevant:

Heterosexuals confuse me. @w@

[unosarta]

Now to say something relevant:

People confuse me. @w@

FTFY.

[Dogmantra]

FTFY.

I was just about to say heterosexuals confuse me too, being a subgroup of people but you GOT THERE FIRST DARN IT

[Partysan]

That's because it's on FIRE!!! BURN IT! BURN IT ALL!!1 Muahahaha!!! Muahahaha!!!

Seriously, though, the other folks here are good people.

In that case, yay for the fire. *throws a cookie into the fire*

Ditto.

Especially when it's the fire of fun!

Now to say something relevant:

Heterosexuals confuse me. @w@

Why those specifically?

FTFY.

QFT

[unosarta]

I was just about to say heterosexuals confuse me too, being a subgroup of people but you GOT THERE FIRST DARN IT

Sorry. I thought it needed to be said because if I never spoke to another person again, I could live my life one hell of a less confused person.

Gah.

[Mina Kobold]

FTFY.

Well that too, but the particular thing I was thinking about was in relation to some heterosexuals that seem to be the majority.

Namely that they all seem so obsessed with being very manly/womanly despite their claim to dislike that gender and liking the other.

May just be e being sleepy and not thinking that well right no-Ooh butterfly.

*Tries to catch butterfly*

[Coidzor]

^: Heh. I wish I was a heterosaxual. Being part saxophone would be awesome. In fact, you've just put a craving for sax into my brain. To youtube!

Sorry. I thought it needed to be said because if I never spoke to another person again, I could live my life one hell of a less confused person.

A rather boring and dreary existence, I've found that kind of life. Considering the character you've put forward, I can only imagine you'd find it even more onerous.

Namely that they all seem so obsessed with being very manly/womanly despite their claim to dislike that gender and liking the other.

Hmm... Sounds like you're stuck around adolescents and young adults who have yet to settle into themselves as an adult and grasp onto the few things that society tells them are part of adult identity.

I must admit, I'm rather confused as to how you could get onto a train of thought that would lead one to think individuals should want to have sex with guys because they want to be one. Kind of disrespectful to trans individuals who are attracted to their birth sex, once one begins to apply that logic to a whole worldview.

[TKoTD]

I've arround here lurking [as I do on most sites] , but now i just feel like posting. For your information, I'm a Colombian [bassicly, I never post because, being english my secod lenguage, i think is broken] bisexual male.

Anyway, I don't know if is just because a lucky life, or maybe that "reality" is almost alien to me,but i've never seen why sexual preferences must be something that determine the way you face everyday activities. In my experience, the only thing that diferentiates a persona with X or Y sexual preference is what they like to do in bed [or pools, chains, spikes, fursuits, or w/e you're into]. And that is the kind of stuff that you only need to speak about to really close friends; and if they're chances dictates that they wouldn't give a crap about what you do [is not like you're forcing them to do it].

Yes, People confuse me.

[also, advice on improving my english would be appreciated]

[unosarta]

A rather boring and dreary existence, I've found that kind of life. Considering the character you've put forward, I can only imagine you'd find it even more onerous.

More than likely. However, on the upside, I wouldn't have to deal with any more bull crap from humanity, and I would be far, far less confused in general. And I wouldn't feel so bad about myself/my life. And I wouldn't necessarily feel so obligated towards other people. And I would have the time to do what I really love.

Meh.

[Anethiel]

Well, it is still rude to blatantly ignore their request regardless of whether you feel their reasoning for it made sense. And there's an economic incentive, since formal-wear one already owns for this sort of thing is a lot less expensive to have dry-cleaned afterward than it is to rent a tuxedo or buy a new dress just for the occasion that's never going to be worn again().

I would comply with an explicit and specific dress code at a wedding. With "do not endorse" I just meant to say "do not approve of". Sorry if my poor English skills have caused any misunderstanding.


In other news: I may cautiously assert that, for the first time in my life, I have a boyfriend! Yay me! Heart-shaped chocolate chip cookies for everyone!

[TKoTD]

More than likely. However, on the upside, I wouldn't have to deal with any more bull crap from humanity, and I would be far, far less confused in general. And I wouldn't feel so bad about myself/my life. And I wouldn't necessarily feel so obligated towards other people. And I would have the time to do what I really love.

Meh.

You don't have to. Just hang arround people that don't make you feel that way. Also, just puting them in a lower category would stop you from feeling bad about youreself. There's no need to be so radical.

[rayne_dragon]

In other news: I may cautiously assert that, for the first time in my life, I have a boyfriend! Yay me! Heart-shaped chocolate chip cookies for everyone!

Yay! Cookies!

Oh yeah... congrats on the boyfriend too!

[unosarta]

You don't have to. Just hang arround people that don't make you feel that way. Also, just puting them in a lower category would stop you from feeling bad about youreself. There's no need to be so radical.

Yeah, except these people are people to whom I have a social commitment to, and whom I consider my friends. If I simply did not hang out with them anymore, then I would also loose a significant chunk of the people I did.

[TKoTD]

Yeah, except these people are people to whom I have a social commitment to, and whom I consider my friends. If I simply did not hang out with them anymore, then I would also loose a significant chunk of the people I did.

Probably I was just extrapolating my own experience/friendship definition onto you, so I apologize [I tend to do that a lot, this is one of the reasons that lead me to be puzzled by people in general]. Anyway, I would think that if ther's that much to gain just by not hanging arround with someone, then is time to stop that social relationship.