My Little Pony V: Art of the Thread

[darthbobcat]

Damn it! Lemme alone, it's midnight here, I, uh...I got nothin'. Sorry.

No big. I just find it amusing how everyone gets the name subtly wrong. It's what I get for intentionally tweaking a cliche to get my title.

[Lycan 01]

Yeah, that pick made me go "d'awwww" too.


Couple random questions regarding Trixie (the pony), if anybody wants to help me out real quick...

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In Boast Busters, did Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie even show up? IIRC, they weren't there for Trixie's big show, but they may have popped up near the end of the episode. I'm not sure, though. What would you guess, though, that their views about Trixie would be? I'm guessing rather neutral, due to their lack of involvement and lack of reason to care.

How much of a grudge do you think Rainbow Dash would hold against Trixie for embarrassing her in front of the whole town? I'm thinking... a big one. Of all the ponies in the Mane Cast, I'd say Rainbow would have the hardest time accepting any sort of apology or character change from Trixie - at least, that's the plotline I'm hoping for. Feel free to argue for or against this point...

Assuming Rainbow Dash holds a fierce grudge, how hard do you think it would be for Trixie to fix it or Dash to get over it? That's my one main issue remaining with this storyline; figuring out how to actually fix the situation between them is more difficult than with the other ponies.


Feel free to ask questions or offer advice, if you want.

Also, Youtube is even more evil at my college campus. At home, videos load lickity-split. At school... seriously, it takes way longer to load the episodes than it does to watch them. *head-desk*

[Trobby]

@Were Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy there during Boast-Busters:

Yes. They appear once or twice but rarely ever say a word. Which makes sense really. Pinkie would just laugh off anything Trixie did (And really, how can you even pretend to out-prank Pinkie?), and Fluttershy getting tormented by Trixie would just be...sad. That, and she isn't the sort to try to prove herself better anyway.

As for Rainbow Dash...

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It'd probably just take Trixie admitting that Dash is more athletic than her. A little flattery goes a long way for RD.

Edit: Also, in the Process of reading Sunny Skies All Day.

[darthbobcat]

I like Sunny Skies All Day so far. I'll give it a more thorough edit once you're done. There were a few typos and repeated words, but I'll wait to see if you catch them when it's complete.

[Kairaven]

Look at ED newest post
see Dramatic Reading
excited!
see that it's not Thanqol
I am disappoint.




Although that Dramatic reading is very well done....

[Thanqol]

Look at ED newest post
see Dramatic Reading
excited!
see that it's not Thanqol
I am disappoint.




Although that Dramatic reading is very well done....

Whaaaaat someone ninja'd me!? I'm super cut.

*Listens*

...

On the other hand, I don't think we're contesting the same territory here.

[darthbobcat]

Whaaaaat someone ninja'd me!? I'm super cut.

*Listens*

...

On the other hand, I don't think we're contesting the same territory here.

Right. For instance, I'd hope you'd be comprehensible. Seriously, guy from EQ, SLOOOOW DOOOOOOWN.

[Orzel]

1) Curse my perfectionist streaks. Why did I fight with my first editor and muse? I have to make myself more tired. That's only way I'm getting this fic done.

2) Trixie and RD

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All she needs is sincere flattery. Dash is an alpha. Make her feel superior somehow and she'll forget what happened.

[darthbobcat]

Also Trixie and RD

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Alternately, Rainbow Dash will listen to reason. If there was aan especially good reason for Trixie to do what she did, Rainbow will forgive her (see the Bison in the Wild West episode).

[Kairaven]

It wouldn't have been good if it were a normal story.

But for a random story a fast paced read through with music and sound effects fit rather well.

I of course look very much forward to the eventual.... upload of Thanqol's no doubt masterful reading of the much more eloquent and better written "Fair Feather Friend", and "Out in the Cold"

[Thanqol]

It wouldn't have been good if it was a normal story.

But for a random story a fast paced read through with music and sound effects fit rather well.

I of course look very much forward to the eventual.... upload of Thanqol's no doubt masterful reading of the much more eloquent and better written "Fair Feather Friend", and "Out in the Cold"

Oh yes, it was a perfect fit for the subject matter.

Only 120 minutes left!

[PhoeKun]

My new goal in life is to write something awesome enough that Thanqol will read it aloud and try to eventually upload it to Youtube. I guess it's a good thing I've got so many stories on my plate. Strike one coming tonight or tomorrow, Celestia willing.

[invinible]

In Sunny Skies All Day, could you change alicorn to pegacorn to honour the fact that is what ponies like Celestia and Luna would be called by Jagex?

Now what I think absolutely has to change is the one that in the second time that the line "that that" was used needs to be changed into a than to make that sentence a proper sentence. I wasn't worried about the first "that that" in the story as it natural as if Princess Celestia was saying that line.

[Thanqol]

My new goal in life is to write something awesome enough that Thanqol will read it aloud and try to eventually upload it to Youtube. I guess it's a good thing I've got so many stories on my plate. Strike one coming tonight or tomorrow, Celestia willing.

That's funny, because I started this whole dramatic reading thing with the intention of reading "Chasing Rainbows" simply so I could end it with "And for part two, everyone bother Phoe".

[Trobby]

I like Sunny Skies All Day so far. I'll give it a more thorough edit once you're done. There were a few typos and repeated words, but I'll wait to see if you catch them when it's complete.

Now I really feel like I need to write a new Ponyfic. Hmm...maybe I could dust off Ditzying Heights and try to finish it?

Well for now, here's what I have to say about Sunny Skies All Day.

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I love this story, just so you know. I love the idea of Celestia deciding to take a day off, of her sister being so supportive of it while still being ever-so-slightly meek over the whole “Nightmare Moon” thing, and I love the little interactions that the princess has with each pony. ESPECIALLY how she remembers Pinkie Pie. No one forgets her indeed. Heh.

Now then…criticism!

Towards the beginning in a few places I notice you using commas to put breaks in your sentence. This…always kind of sets off my inner critic. That’s not how a comma is meant to be used. Just try writing a few short sentences. Even sentence fragments would be fine, since this is story narrative. Your exclamation marks are also a bit excessive when Princess Celestia is putting on her disguise. Try to put more of the emphasis in describing the process. Specifically, I’m thinking of how you say “No ordinary pony would have such things!”, where it would be just as easy to say in the previous sentence that she was stashing away “the symbols of her royalty”.

The title drop at the end of the section feels like it comes just a little too soon. I’ll keep an eye out, but unless you back it up with an ironic echo later on, it just sort of sticks out like a sore thumb.

Hmm…no bruised ego for being called an amateur by Rainbow Dash? Heh…that’s okay. I like how she’s easygoing about it, but it feels like this section is lacking a bit in expressive description. Try to describe the way each pony moves or shifts or looks away or stares intently when they’re talking. It brings the reader into the story.

There are a few grammatical errors here and there. I’d suggest going over it by eye once more to iron those out. The one that caught my eye is: “Celestia had tried to copy a few of the easier looking ones, barely managed to pull off one of them.” Should be managing in that context.

In the paragraph where they pull the cart out of the mud, you use exertion twice in a row to describe Celestia’s state of exhaustion. Try to find a different word for the same feeling. Thesauruses are your friend, after all.

And yes, I did notice a few typographical errors. As I said before, I’d suggest going over it by eye as it will help you catch your errors more easily.

All in all though, it’s remarkably well done. I actually got really drawn into this story, and I’m eager to see the final result!

[darthbobcat]

That's funny, because I started this whole dramatic reading thing with the intention of reading "Chasing Rainbows" simply so I could end it with "And for part two, everyone bother Phoe".

Is it pronounced Foe or Foe-y?

[PhoeKun]

Is it pronounced Foe or Foe-y?

It's pronounced 'Fee', as in the first half of the name 'Phoebe'. Which it is.

Nobody ever gets it right...

[darthbobcat]

It's pronounced 'Fee', as in the first half of the name 'Phoebe'. Which it is.

Nobody ever gets it right...

Oh well. At least it got out in the open before Thanquol committed it to youtube permanently.

[Thanqol]

Oh well. At least it got out in the open before Thanquol committed it to youtube permanently.

Yeah, Phoekun, I know all about people getting your name wrong


Also, you can delete posts rather than editing them into a "Sorry for the double post", there's a box right at the top of the edit panel.

[SiuiS]

That's funny, because I started this whole dramatic reading thing with the intention of reading "Chasing Rainbows" simply so I could end it with "And for part two, everyone bother Phoe".

Hm. If you have a paypal account, I will pay you to do this. Not immediately, but your account will increase by somewhere along the lines of five dollars american.

It's pronounced 'Fee', as in the first half of the name 'Phoebe'. Which it is.

Nobody ever gets it right...

Haha! I had it right, I had it right~
which makes having a nightmare wherein you magically appear and berated me for pronouncing your name wrong when I type it all the more nonsensical.
Yeah, disturbing playground ponythread dreams are another reason I've tried to slow down my posting.

[1dominator]

On the last thread someone posted a link to DA which had tutorials for drawing ponies on it. Could anyon be so kind as to post it again?

Eh, but they have less and less interest/views as well. Thread I had 58K views, II 50K, III 38.5K, IV 35K, while V has 0.1K :P

What we lack in quantity we make up for in persistence and possibly integrity.

Brace yourselves ponies because this fan art I came across has got some god damn quality.

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Holy pony that is well done!

Also I just read Fair Weather Friends part 3, that's some good reading! Very well written, and I second that Baron Awesome IS indeed awesome.
Now if only I could get around to writing something of my own...

[Thanqol]

Hm. If you have a paypal account, I will pay you to do this. Not immediately, but your account will increase by somewhere along the lines of five dollars american.

To the filming studio!

*Doesn't move*

At the filming studio!

(In seriousness, send the money to Japan . I'll start filming right now. )

[kpenguin]

It's pronounced 'Fee', as in the first half of the name 'Phoebe'. Which it is.

Nobody ever gets it right...

...oh.

I thought it stood for phoenix. Which is pronounced the same way.

[Thanqol]

Goddamn it, Youtube.

These might take a while.

[darthbobcat]

Goddamn it, Youtube.

These might take a while.

While we wait, here's something youtube actually managed to load, proving that the process IS possible!

http://www.youtube.com/user/DarthBob.../9/_9RkTUuIEOE

Just out of curiosity, how long does it take for one to read Fair Feather Friend? And how many chapters did you do?

[Thanqol]

While we wait, here's something youtube actually managed to load, proving that the process IS possible!

http://www.youtube.com/user/DarthBob.../9/_9RkTUuIEOE

Just out of curiosity, how long does it take for one to read Fair Feather Friend? And how many chapters did you do?

About 25 minutes and just the first chapter. On the plus side, my basic investigation into the art of video editing - something I have historically resisted but which became a necessity when a derp entered my room thirty seconds from finishing "Chasing Rainbows" (watch for the super dodgy edit in that video) - I found a way to reduce the filesize of my videos by 2/3 by changing the format. Hurray

[darthbobcat]

About 25 minutes and just the first chapter. On the plus side, my basic investigation into the art of video editing - something I have historically resisted but which became a necessity when a derp entered my room thirty seconds from finishing "Chasing Rainbows" (watch for the super dodgy edit in that video) - I found a way to reduce the filesize of my videos by 2/3 by changing the format. Hurray

Next question. Do you do Texan accents for the Applefolk?

[Thanqol]

Next question. Do you do Texan accents for the Applefolk?

Yes! Not particularly well, but I did them!

[SiuiS]

...oh.

I thought it stood for phoenix. Which is pronounced the same way.

I had pretty much the same reaction. I only switched to Phoebe/Phoebus because of her avatar. The halo always reminded me of a sun. I read her name as a cooler way of saying "sun-chan". Sort of.

To the filming studio!

*Doesn't move*

At the filming studio!

(In seriousness, send the money to Japan . I'll start filming right now. )

Now why would he want me to send money to japan, I thought he was an Aussie? Did he move to Ja- OH! Oh! Ooooooh....
Riiight.

Certainly! Why, i had planned to from the get-go! Please, ignore the thought process behind the italics.

[darthbobcat]

Yes! Not particularly well, but I did them!

Okay, youtube, every hour that you don't post the vid, I will upload something hideous and VILE. We'll see who breaks first.

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